“I know you will. You have to be.”
“Why’s that?”
I squeeze her hand and say, “Because the two of you, the love you share, is my inspiration to not give up that I’ll find the same thing one day.”
“I think you’ve already found it.”
I shake my head. “I’m not in love with Brayden, Tammy. It hasn't been long enough.”
“You never know.”
“Maybe one day, but not today or tomorrow or the day after that. I won’t let myself fall for someone who can’t give me all of them.”
Tammy pats the top of my hand with her free one. “I told you that you were wise.”
I chuckle at her response. “Love you.”
“Of course you do. I mean I am a loveable person.” She laughs and pulls back from me, making me look at her. Tammy puts her hand in the air and stops any sort of comeback I might have had. “And before you ask, no, I won’t have your babies. I don’t love you like that.”
I cover her mouth with my hand in attempts to shut her up as my eyes go wide. Her shoulders rise and fall with her muffled laughter. Tammy has never been one to care what others think. And when she’s hurting she’ll do whatever she has to do to deflect the pain. By her outburst, she’s hurting badly. As much as I’d like to be surprised at what she’s just said, I’m not.
“Will you ever stop with your random outbursts?” I groan.
Tammy’s hand flies to her chest as she gasps in shock. “No! I will not touch your breasts, Karmen. What is the matter with you?”
Though I know she’s only joking, people are starting to stare, and I am this close to kicking her ass. My cheeks burn with embarrassment, and I’m half tempted to crawl under the table to keep everyone from staring at me.
“Are you done?” I ask. My tone lets her know I’m not finding it near as funny as she is.
“Hmmm…” Tammy lifts a finger in the air and looks up at the ceiling as if she’s in deep thought. “I guess so. I swear I had one more left in me.”
“Lucky me.”
Tammy gulps back the rest of her margarita. When she’s finished, she sets the glass back down and wipes at the dribble on her chin with the back of her hand. “You should feel lucky because you know I could have made it worse. I could have recreated the sounds I heard coming from your office.”
I reach out and pinch her on the side.
“Ow! What was that for, wench?” she laughs, rubbing at the sore spot.
“That’s just a reminder of what will happen if you even think of going down that avenue.”
“What, you don’t want everyone to hear…Brayden…right there…there…yessssss,” she mimics my breathless encouragements and praises from the day she listened in on me and Brayden in my office.
I level my stare on her, which only causes her to laugh harder. Across the table sits my half-empty glass of wine. I reach across and grab it chugging it back like I’m at a kegger. “Laugh it up.” I fight to keep the smirk off my face because even though I’m completely embarrassed, my best friend is laughing, even if it is at my expense and that’s all that matters.
“Oh God.” With the tips of her fingers, she reaches up and wipes away her tears from laughing so hard. “I’m hilarious.”
“Yep. You’re a real hoot.”
“Thanks for having dinner with me tonight,” she says after her getting her laughter under control.
I nod and smile at her. “Of course.”
“You’re the best, Karmen.” She nudges her shoulder with mine.
“Well duh,” I answer with a laugh.
I don’t know how long we sit there talking about anything and everything. I give her the low down of what it’s been like to be with Brayden. She tells me about her folks and how they’re doing. We reminisce about college and how much being adults suck. We talk and laugh like old friends do, like the best of friends do.
I’ve been in the door a matter of seconds when I hear Karmen calling my name. Hanging my keys on the hook next to the door, I shout back. “Yeah, it’s me. Who else were you expecting?” I chuckle.
Things have been going great between us. I honestly couldn’t be happier. Sure we’ve had our moments but nothing to make either of us walk away. She gets bitchy when it’s that time of the month, and I force myself to turn a blind eye to it. I know how women can be, and I’m not stupid enough to believe she wouldn’t throw something hard and heavy at my head if I brought it to her attention. I get cranky when she tries to move my clothes back into what I say ‘used to be’ my room. Karmen would disagree. Ever since that first night we slept together, I started moving my stuff into her room. It wasn’t much at first, just a couple of things here and there, but now almost all my things are in her room. It’s kind of become a game between us, one that I’m obviously winning at. When I move something in, she waits until I’m gone to move it back to my room. It only pisses her off more when I add more stuff the next time. Recently though, I find my things exactly where I’ve left them in her room after I’ve left the house and returned.
I go in search of my gorgeous girlfriend and find her in the laundry room, pulling my clothes from the dryer. God, she’s amazing. With my shoulder, I lean against the doorframe, my hands tucked loosely into my pockets. “What’s up, babe?”
She looks up at me, her eyebrows are furrowed in confusion, something white clutched in her hand. “What’s this?” she asks confused.
Handing it over to me, I take the washed piece of paper and immediately I’m filled with dread because this conversation can go one of two ways. Either she’ll listen to what I have to say and understand where I’m coming from. Or she’s going be to really pissed off and do something irrational, like leave my sorry ass high and dry. Just earlier I was thinking that I’ve been in an actual relationship for three months—I count the time before we actually hooked up because I only had eyes for Karmen—and how I couldn’t wait to look forward to more. But now with my dilemma I realize three months isn’t nearly enough time. I realize I want a hell of a lot longer to spend with this beautiful woman than three short ass months.
My eyes meet hers and I have to brace myself for her reaction. I push off the door frame and I can feel every muscle in my body go rigid. “It’s a…” I clear my throat. “It’s a business card from an attorney.”
Her eyes search my face for a moment before she nods. “Are you in some kind of trouble I should know about?”
“No. I uh…” I reach for her hand and she lets me take it. “I think this we should have this conversation while sitting down.”
As I’m leading her out into the living room and towards the couch she says, “Oh God! You’re married aren’t you? You’re getting a divorce?”
I laugh out loud at her question. The thought of me being married is almost comical if I could stand here and honestly not picture Karmen being the woman to meet me at the end of the aisle.
“No, babe, I’m not married. And if I ever do get hitched… let’s just say the word divorce isn’t in my vocabulary.”
Visibly, I see her relax. A weight drops down into the pit of my stomach when I think she won’t be this relaxed for much longer.
We both sit and I turn towards her. I take one of her hands in mine and intertwine our fingers. After a few deep breaths, I look at her and explain.
“Remember the night you picked me up from the bar?”
“Drunk off your ass?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh yeah, I remember. Not your finest moment by the way.”
By the way her hand slightly trembles in mine I can tell she’s nervous about what I have to say.The fact that she’s trying to make light of the situation by making a joke gives more away than her words ever could.
“Earlier that day I had found out something pretty huge. And needless to say, my father didn’t take the news well.” I run my fingers through my hair as I try to figure out a way to tell her the truth. I’m beyond terrified that this could be the end of us. The
end of something I don’t want to let go of before we ever really had a chance to begin.
I look to Karmen when I feel her hand on my wrist. Gently, she pulls my hand away from my hair. Her eyes plead with me to tell her what’s going on. “Tell me what this is about, Brayden. Please.”
“I’ve received an inheritance from my late grandparents.”
Karmen leans back, exhaling a deep breath. “That’s it?” she asks. “For a second there you had me really worried.” She laughs.
“I have to get married to receive it,” I interrupt.
Immediately her laughs stop and her smiling face goes blank. She tries to wriggle her hand loose from mine, but I refuse to let go. I can’t stand to break the hold of the only thing tethering us together. I’m afraid if I do that will be it. They always say actions speak louder than words.
Karmen stares at me for a moment, her breaths heavy as she sits quietly beside me.
“I had no idea about the stipulation.”
“Is that what this is?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.
“What?” I look at her, my eyes narrowed and my lips pursed in confusion.
“Is that why you’re with me? To get a wife? To get your money?” Her words are clipped as she says them.
“What the fuck?” I lean back, away from her, flabbergasted by her questions.
“Yeah. That’s exactly what I’m thinking. What. The. Fuck? Is this your ultimate blow to me? High school wasn’t bad enough, you have to torture me as an adult, too? Or better yet, get me to fall for you, harder than I’ve ever fallen before, just to pull the rug out from under my feet?” she seethes.
When the words high school passed her through her lips, I knew exactly what she meant. But that doesn’t mean that I have to like it. I can understand where she’s coming from but to think I’d go to these lengths for money is something even I wouldn’t do. And I can be a cold-hearted bastard at times. Although I want to explode on her right now, I rein it in and try to explain further.
“Let me explain…”
“You’ve got ten seconds to say what you have to say and it better be good, or else you’re going to be packing your shit,” she says, cutting me off.
“Enough.” My tone is hard yet deathly calm, and it has Karmen leaning away from me with wide eyes. “I’ve done nothing to you but fucking apologize for the past we share. I can’t take it back. I’m trying to move on and thought you were too, with me. For you to accuse me of what you just did blows my mind. But even now, I can see your reasoning behind it. I know you’re wondering why I haven’t told you about the money. Well frankly, I didn’t think it would matter. I’m not looking forward to the money because I’m not at any stage in my life to get married yet. I may be fucked up in a lot of ways, Karmen, but not even I would do that to someone else. I’m not dating you in hopes of tricking you into marrying me just for money. When I get married, it will be for love and nothing less. I refuse to end up like my parents, with a drunk of a wife and a loveless marriage. I refuse to be with someone for social status or because they look good on my arm. And I refuse to marry for money.”
By the time I’m done, my hands are shaking. I have a white knuckle grip on Karmen’s hand. I can see her fingers turning purple. Immediately, I release my hold on her. My hands shake and I’m breathing in deep and fast through my nose.
Unshed tears shimmer in her eyes, and as much as I want to pull her into my arms and apologize for the tone I’ve used, I can’t. I’m pissed and hurt. This time I’m not in the wrong. Normally, this would be my cue to run off and get drunk, but over the past few months I’ve worked really hard to get myself under control. I don’t want to end up like Karmen’s father.
“I’m sorry.” Karmen’s voice breaks on the last word, but I remain where I am and nod. I lean forward, brace my elbows on my knees, and interlock my fingers. “I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions, and I definitely shouldn’t have accused you of such horrible things.”
“I get it.”
I look up at her when I feel her hand on my shoulder. “No. This is all on me, Brayden. You did nothing wrong. Your money is none of my business. There’s no excuse as to why I reacted the way I did.”
“You don’t trust me. That’s reason enough to react the way you did,” I state.
“That’s not true. I trust you more than you know. But I got scared.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m afraid of being hurt.”
“I’m afraid too, babe.” I lift my hand and wipe the tears running down her cheeks with the back of my hand. “Every fucking day I’m afraid you’re going to wake up and realize that you can do so much better than me.”
Karmen shakes her head back and forth, her hair swishes with the motion. I tug on her hand and pull her onto my lap. She hiccups on a sob and buries her face in my neck. Her arms come up and wrap around my neck in a tight embrace.
“Are we okay?” My words come out muffled in her hair.
“Yes. And I promise I am moving on from the past…with you. From now on, I won’t jump to conclusions, and I’ll hear you out,” she murmurs against the cotton fabric of my shirt.
“That’s all I can ask for.”
When I squeeze her to me, I feel a weight lift off my shoulders. We’ve just had our first fight as a couple and made it through. I knew taking this journey with her wasn’t going to be easy. I was well aware that at times, it was going to be downright brutal. But here we sit, together, sharing each other’s hurt and I never want to let her go. I want my arms to offer her comfort. I want my kisses to show her how much I want her. I want my words to give her reassurance in us. I want to lay the world at her feet and one day I will.
I hop up on my feet. My hips shake from side to side as I wiggle my ass and point at Brayden. “Ha! I win.” I spin around the kitchen doing my happy dance. I don’t mean to intentionally rub it in his face, but I’m a sore loser. So when I win, I tend to get a little enthusiastic.
He folds up his cards, tossing them on the table. In his seat, he reclines back and drapes one arm over the back of the chair.
“I think you cheated.”
In college, Rummy was a game that my roommates and I played often. Let’s just say there were many nights that ended in a drunken stupor on all of our parts because we were all too competitive for our own good. Instead of admitting defeat, we got drunk instead.
I prance my way over to Brayden and press a quick kiss his to lips. “Is somebody mad that he lost?” I ask in my best baby talk voice.
He scrunches up his nose and shakes his head. By the tightness around his lips, I can tell he’s trying not to laugh.
“Nope. It was worth it to watch you shake that sexy ass of yours in those hard-on-inducing-shorts.”
Since our fight, I finally admitted defeat and let him move into my room. There was some pouting on my part, but I have to say the benefits of having him there every night and morning are well worth my giving in—when in Rome. Of course, he’d already had most of his crap in there anyway, so there really was no point in fighting it any longer.
I’ve spent more time with Tammy in this past month than I have since Brayden and I became a couple. It feels good to be with Brayden and still be able to be my own person and hang out with Tammy too. After Tammy and I had dinner, I became painfully aware that I was spending every moment I could with my new boyfriend and leaving my best friend behind.
He grabs at the waistband of my shorts. I bat his hand away and spin out of his reach. This elicits a growl from him. I lift my beer off the table and take a long pull. Setting the bottle down, I meet Brayden’s penetrating stare. It scorches every inch of my body. A flicker of heat blazes through me. I could go the rest of my life with him looking at me like he is right now. I crook my finger in a come-hither motion.
“Are you drunk?” He raises an eyebrow in my direction.
I shake my head. “No.”
Brayden raises his from the chair. In his hands he holds a bot
tle of tequila and a bowl of lemons that he gathered off the table. With one foot in front of the other, he stalks towards me. For every step he takes, I take one back.
“Are you?”
“Drunk?” He cocks an eyebrow at me and gives me a sly grin. “No. But I intend to be here in a few minutes.”
My back hits the door to our bedroom. Blindly, I reach to my side for the knob. Once my hand closes around its circular form, I turn the silver coated metal. “I’ve heard tequila makes for a nasty hangover,” I mumble.
A dark laugh escapes Brayden as I ease the door open. His normally bright green eyes are now a subdued version of themselves. “Oh I’m not getting drunk on tequila, I’m going to get drunk off of you.” He lifts the bottle in the air and waves it at me. The gold liquid sloshes from side-to-side inside its glass prison. “This is just an added bonus.”
Salvage Page 21
