“I got it. I didn’t open it.” Once he’d seen Jerry’s name on the return address, he’d fired the envelope straight into the garbage.
“I got your address from your mother. I wanted to connect with you, to explain. I let you down when you were a child. If I could go back, I’d change a lot of things I did. I’m sorry for not being a real father to you.”
Luke stared into his coffee cup, not trusting himself to meet Jerry’s eyes. “I think you’re about twenty-eight years too late with that apology.”
“I know.” Jerry sat in the seat across from him. “But it’s all I’ve got.”
Luke said nothing, and Jerry continued. “I thought by sending money to your mother while you were growing up I was doing the right thing, the responsible thing. It didn’t occur to me till a few years ago that being a father is much more than throwing money at a kid. You have to be there, and I wasn’t.”
“No, you weren’t.”
“I know it doesn’t excuse my behavior, but I had no idea what a father was supposed to do. I grew up without a father, too. My biological father walked out on my mother and me when I was a baby. I grew up dirt poor, looked down on by everyone in town. I swore if I ever had a kid, I’d provide for him, so for a lot of years I thought I’d done right by you by sending money. I was wrong. A father is there every day, helping, teaching, soothing.”
Despite himself, Luke’s curiosity got the best of him. “If things were so bad for you here in Minnewasta, why did you come back?”
Jerry sipped his coffee. “I hadn’t planned to. Once I left this place, I never wanted to see it again. And then, a few years ago, I was shocked to discover my no-good, dead-beat dad left me some property here. I came back, intending to sell it and get the hell back to Texas. And then I meet my wife.”
He took another sip of his coffee. Luke sensed there was much more to this story, and he was curious, but he didn’t want to appear too interested in Jerry’s life.
He couldn’t stop himself from asking one last question, though. “What made you realize what a father is supposed to be?”
Before Jerry could answer, he heard the front door crash open. A moment later, a small child bolted into the kitchen. “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!”
The child ran to Jerry and he lifted her in his arms and kissed her cheek. At least, Luke assumed the child was a her. The pink snowsuit was a pretty big clue.
“Daddy, we got books from the library! Can you read them to me?”
“I will later, sweetheart. Right now, there’s someone here I’d like you to meet. Luke, this is my daughter Emily. She’ll be four in January. Emily, Luke is my son. He’s your brother.”
She studied him with grey-green eyes. “No, Daddy. He can’t be my brother. He’s big.”
“It’s the truth, Em.”
A heavily pregnant woman entered the kitchen. She was blonde and blue-eyed and probably in her thirties, which made her about twenty years younger than Jerry. She smiled in welcome and held out her hand. Luke got to his feet.
“Luke, how wonderful to meet you! I’m Denise.”
“My wife,” Jerry said proudly.
Luke shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Denise.”
“I think I would have known you anywhere, even if I hadn’t seen your picture. You look so much like your father.”
He was taken aback by her statement, but when he glanced at Jerry, he couldn’t deny the truth of her words. He’d never considered having anything in common with him before, including his looks.
“Jerry told me about your mother’s illness. I’m truly sorry.”
He believed her. Denise Fields struck him as the kind of person who meant what she said. “Thank you.”
“Why don’t you stay for dinner? We’d love to have you.”
Something like panic made his heart hammer. “Thank you, I appreciate the offer, but I need to get back to the lodge.” He gave them a brief account of the temporary work he was doing there.
Denise nodded. “It’s good you can be here in Minnewasta. I know it must mean a lot to your mother.”
Luke’s throat closed and for a moment, all he could do was nod. He cleared his throat and struggled to get himself under control. “I should be going.”
He headed to the front door, anxious to make his escape. Jerry set Emily on her feet and retrieved Luke’s coat from the closet. Emily grabbed Denise’s hand and they watched him put on his coat. The little girl stared at him as she leaned against her mother’s side.
Jerry pulled a coat from the closet and slipped it on. “I’ll walk you to your car.”
“Goodbye, Luke,” Denise said. “I hope we can have you over for dinner soon.”
“Thank you.” He didn’t know what else to say. Until ten minutes ago, he hadn’t known a family existed aside from a wife. It was too much to take in.
Luke followed Jerry down the front walk. Once he reached his car, he opened the driver’s side door. “Thanks for coffee.”
“You’re welcome. I’m glad you dropped by. I hope you know Denise’s offer was genuine. We’d both love to have you over and get to know you.”
“I’ll think about it.”
Jerry nodded. “You asked me what made me change my attitude about being a father. It was Denise, and then Emily. They’re the ones who taught me what a father should be. I’m sorry I missed your growing up. I cheated you, and I cheated me.”
It had never occurred to him that Jerry had missed out by not being in his life. He’d only thought about what he’d lost.
“We could use some expertise setting up the computer systems at the lodge. Would you be available?” The words flew out of his mouth, surprising him.
“Name a date and I’ll be there.” Jerry fished a business card from the inside pocket of his jacket. “Give me a call and let me know what you need.”
Luke accepted the card, uncertain why he’d asked for his help. “I’ll be in touch.”
He got in the car and turned the ignition. As he drove away, he saw his father lift his hand in a wave. Without thinking, he waved back.
For most of his life he’d seen his parents in clear black and white terms. But now his world looked a whole lot greyer.
CHAPTER FIVE
The next day, Luke buried himself in work, not wanting to think about his parents for a while. But despite everything he needed to do, he couldn’t concentrate. He’d discovered Jerry wasn’t a villain; he was simply a man who’d made mistakes. Making mistakes was something he could relate to. Lord knew, he’d made plenty. The biggest had changed his life.
Good grief. He had an almost four-year-old half-sister and another sibling on the way. As an only child, the idea blew him away. Especially since his half-siblings were young enough to be his own children.
A picture of Maggie with a baby in her arms popped into his mind. My baby.
Luke pushed the idea away, staggered by its intensity and the direction his mind had taken. He hadn’t let himself dwell on thoughts like this for a long time and he couldn’t start now.
If he’d stayed in Minnewasta, they might have had children by now. At one time he’d thought he’d spend his life with her, have children with her. But he’d thrown it all away. The pain of that loss came hard and fast. Followed swiftly by guilt.
Enough. He’d done what he had to do.
He forced his attention back to work and sifted through the resumes the lodge had received so far in response to the online ads for help he’d posted. Many applications were from locals, but some, especially those applying for the sous-chef positions, came from applicants living all over the country. He shook his head at one application from South Carolina. Did this person have any idea what a Minnesota winter was like?
He shivered at the thought. The November days were getting colder, and the worst was yet to come. For a moment, he longed for California and his sunny patio overlooking a hillside vineyard. Then he shut down that line of thinking completely. Right now his family needed him here, and
so did the lodge.
With a sigh, he printed copies of the applications of those people he intended to interview. The job was massive. Kitchen and wait staff, housekeepers and front desk staff. Luke made a note on his phone to speak to Ethan about hiring some people to help him with all the recreational activities he planned for the lodge. And in the spring, they’d probably need grounds keepers…
Would Mom be alive in the spring?
Luke closed his eyes, steadying himself with a deep breath. He couldn’t dwell on it. He had to focus on the present and the job at hand, or he wouldn’t be any good to anyone, including himself.
“Luke?”
He looked up in surprise at Maggie. She set a tray with a coffee cup and a plate of cookies on the table in the dining room that he’d been using as a desk.
“Sorry. I guess I zoned out for a minute.”
“I thought you might need a break.” The aroma of a well-brewed cup of coffee tempted his senses as she passed him the cup. “Do you still take milk and sugar?”
He was amazed she remembered. “Just milk now. Everybody in California is trying to reduce carbs. If I was a real Californian, I probably wouldn’t consume dairy either.”
“Lucky for you, Minnesotans have no qualms about dairy products. Or at least, none of the Minnesotans at this lodge.”
She passed him a small pitcher of milk and he added some to his coffee. He gestured to the plate of cookies. “If all of these are for me, I’m really going to blow my diet.”
Maggie grinned as she pulled a chair closer to his table and sat. “Sorry about that. Actually, I wanted your opinion. I thought it might be a nice gesture to offer a container of fresh cookies in each guestroom as they check in. Or perhaps only in the cottages. What do you think?”
Luke reached for one of the cookies and took a bite. The taste of ginger and sugar exploded in his mouth as he bit into the chewy goodness. The taste was very familiar. “These taste like my grandmother’s gingerbread cookies.”
“They should. I’m using her recipe.”
“Really? I thought she guarded all her recipes like the gold in Fort Knox. She wouldn’t give it to me.”
Maggie’s lips quirked. “Maybe you didn’t ask her nicely.”
“And you did?”
“I suppose I did. I was visiting your mother a few weeks after my grandmother died, and Phyllis set a plate of these in front of me. I asked her for the recipe but instead, she insisted we make a batch together in the kitchen. I wrote down the recipe from memory the minute I got home.” She gave a rueful smile. “She probably felt sorry for me.”
Knowing his grandmother, she probably had, but he wasn’t going to tell her so. Maggie and her grandmother had clashed over many things, especially her relationship with him, but she’d loved her fiercely. She’d been the only mother she’d ever known. He could imagine how intensely she must have grieved.
Another wave of guilt swept over him. He hadn’t been there for her when she’d needed him most.
“These are as good as hers. Maybe better. Don’t tell her I said that.”
Maggie laughed. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
The sound of Maggie’s laughter transported him back ten years. Back then, she laughed easily and often. Her smiles were harder to come by these days.
Or maybe that was only when she was with him.
He cleared his throat. “I think it’s a great idea to leave cookies for the guests. I think we’d probably only offer them to guests planning an extended stay in one of the cottages, though.”
“That makes sense. If someone is only staying overnight, they likely wouldn’t have time to eat all the cookies even if they wanted to.”
“Right.” He shuffled through the papers on his table until he found what he wanted. “Which reminds me, Harper emailed me this copy of your preliminary menu. I want to talk to you about it.”
Her expression turned wary and her posture stiffened. “Do you have a problem with it?”
Her defensiveness took him aback. “No, of course not. I like the idea that the restaurant will aim to serve locally grown organic food as much as possible. I’m concerned about the fish dishes you’re proposing. Are we going to have a steady supply we can count on all year long?”
“I wouldn’t have put it on the menu if I hadn’t considered that. I spoke to the owners of a local fish market. They sell fish brought in fresh everyday by commercial fishers including the walleye, lake trout and whitefish we plan to serve on the menu. All the fish are from Minnesota lakes. They assure me they will have the consistent supply we’ll need.”
He nodded. “Good.”
“And before you ask, I’ve sourced local suppliers for most of our ingredients. The greens are going to come from a greenhouse outside of Brainerd. They can offer supply all year long, too.”
“You’ve done your homework. It looks like you’ve got everything well in hand.”
Her confused expression told him she’d been preparing herself for a reprimand. “Okay. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. You’re doing a good job, Maggie.”
She blinked at him, then quickly rose to her feet. “I should go and let you get back to work.”
He caught her hand before she could escape. “I could use your help interviewing the kitchen staff. They’re first on my list to hire.”
“Yes, of course. I want to be in on the hiring.”
He held on to her hand as she tried to move away. “There’s something else. My mother asked to see you. It seems really important to her that you do. Will you come with me tomorrow to visit her?”
He watched for her response. She closed her eyes and it seemed her breathing quickened. Finally, she nodded and lifted her gaze to meet his. “Yes, of course. I’ll come with you.”
Luke nodded, relieved. “Good. I’m leaving for Minneapolis in a few minutes to take back my rental car and find something used I can drive while I’m here, but I should be back by noon tomorrow. We’ll go about one o’clock. She gets too tired later in the afternoon for visitors.”
“I’ll be ready.”
She tugged on her hand, but he held firm. “You are doing a great job, Maggie. Don’t doubt it.”
She gave a brief nod, and he reluctantly released her. She turned and quickly fled the dining room.
He wondered again what had happened to destroy her confidence. Would she be able to handle the stress of a busy kitchen?
Luke hoped so. The restaurant was the centerpiece of the new lodge. If it didn’t pan out, the future of the lodge would be in question. And so would Maggie’s future as a chef.
Later that evening, alone in her cottage, Maggie rummaged through the shelf of her closet, setting aside boxes and bags until she found what she was looking for. The blue cardboard box had been pushed to the back where she wouldn’t be able to see it. She didn’t want to open her closet every day and be reminded of the past, but she hadn’t quite been able to make herself throw the box away either. So it remained on her shelf. In limbo.
Maggie brought down the box, sat on the edge of her bed and opened it. Mr. Jingles the Teddy Bear smiled up at her. Maggie caressed his soft fur, then lifted him from the box and gave him a quick hug before setting him on the bed. There was another box inside the first one. She removed the lid and carefully unwrapped the layers and layers of tissue paper protecting the delicate object inside. Finally, she pushed aside one last layer of tissue paper to reveal the glass unicorn.
She lifted the unicorn from the box and examined it. It had been a while since she’d opened the box, but the little unicorn was as pretty as she remembered. At about five inches in height and four in length, the unicorn was small and delicate. She fingered the tiny horn, marvelling at its fragility. How amazing it had survived unscathed considering the number of times she’d moved.
She didn’t know why she’d kept it all these years.
That was a lie. She knew the answer. Because Luke gave it to me.
He’d told her i
t had reminded him of her – beautiful and unique. No gift she’d received before or since had meant as much.
She stared at the little unicorn in her hands. She’d almost discarded it when she packed up her apartment in Minneapolis to move to the lodge. At the last minute, she’d rescued it from the pile of stuff she was donating to a woman’s shelter, unable to part with it. Her attachment to the unicorn was ridiculous, considering the thing was only a chunk of glass.
But, try as she might, she couldn’t make herself believe it meant nothing.
Carefully, she wrapped the unicorn in its layers of tissue paper once more, laid it in the first box, then set that box into the blue one. Placing Mr. Jingles back inside and closing the lid, she returned the box to its spot on the shelf at the back of her closet.
Out of sight, out of mind. If only that were true.
Shortly before one o’clock the next day, an unfamiliar blue half-ton truck pulled up in front of the lodge. From what Maggie could tell, the truck, a domestic American model, wasn’t new, but was in reasonably good shape. She stepped out onto the porch as Luke slid out of the driver’s side. He let the truck idle as he came toward her.
“What do you think of my new wheels?” he asked.
“I didn’t figure you for a truck guy. I thought you were more into luxury cars like the rental you were driving. You being a California boy, and all.”
“I love trucks, remember? Besides, a truck seemed like a more practical option here.” One side of his mouth turned up in a grin. “And for the record, the luxury car was the only vehicle I could rent on short notice. I drive an ordinary Ford SUV in California.”
Maggie raised an eyebrow but said nothing. A memory flashed through her mind. Luke driving an ancient, mostly rusty Ford pickup to the lodge that summer. He’d worked odd jobs summers and after school for three years to buy it and keep it running. The old Ford had been his pride and joy.
Every chance they got, they’d sneak off in the Ford and park somewhere secluded. They’d been in that truck the first time Luke had kissed her. He’d pulled her toward him and covered her mouth with his, and she’d sworn she’d heard angels singing. And then, her body had gone up in flames in a very unangel-like way. As the summer went on, they’d grown bolder in their explorations. Harper had given her ‘the lecture’ on sex, but she hadn’t prepared her for the way her body would react to Luke’s kisses, or his touch. Like the way her nipples would harden as he caressed her breasts, and the way her panties would dampen. And when he’d reached inside her panties and inserted a finger inside her—
Truth and Solace (Love at Solace Lake Book 3) Page 5
