Funny Bone

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Funny Bone Page 5

by Daniel W. Kelly


  “Gross, man!” Lonny stammered from against the periodic table, his hands covering his blue-black lips and scratching at his goatee. Yet he couldn’t look away. And neither could Justin or Chul.

  “Shut the fuck up, man. This is what these guys are into,” Rocky barked, then turned back to Aaron, whose nose he held only inches from the dark bush between Turvy’s butt. “His goods are clean, my man. We got him right out of the shower in the gym. Probably down there looking for some action just like you’re going to give him. Come on. Just sniff it.”

  A forceful grip pushed Aaron closer. The ass curls softly tickled his nostrils. He placed his hands on the frame of the bunk to try to gain control of his approach, the definition in his triceps, biceps, and back rippling as Rocky applied pressure. He breathed in. He smelled the damp musk, could see shiny wisps of still wet hair within the depths.

  There were leaks of astonished air from the lips of the trio across the room, who unintentionally mimicked the “no evil” monkeys as they each chose to protect a particular sense. Rocky shot them a look demanding silence. Then he smiled, satisfied.

  Aaron’s eyes closed, and his pecs heaved as he breathed in.

  “Thaaaaat’s it,” Rocky coerced him. “You wanna taste it?”

  Aaron wasn’t sure if he was nodding his own head or if Rocky’s meaty paw was doing it for him.

  “He’s going to…?” Justin tried to shield his eyes with a tattooed arm and the brim of the fisherman’s cap pulled way down low.

  “Oh yes, he is.” Chul smirked, seemingly less repulsed about it as he moved forward to witness the unthinkable.

  “Aw, hell no!” Lonny stamped the floor as he climbed into falsetto without sounding any less masculine. He approached the scene with more trepidation, hands nervously gripping his bald head, his eyes only half cast on what was going to happen.

  Rocky ignored them all. “You gotta part the junk in that trunk and get in there, my man.”

  This all seemed so wrong, so impersonal, so void of passion or meaning, but Aaron’s id had taken control. Rocky’s seductive direction and hot breath on his cheek was enough to get him to do whatever he was told. He saw his own arms letting go of the bunk frame and reaching toward those nearly split mounds of man. His fingers slipped gently into the volcano of fur erupting from the fracture. The mounds moved, tensed. He froze at the reminder that there was a human being attached to the ass.

  All was silent for a split second. Then there was a muffled sigh. Turvy sighed. Like it was the moment he’d been waiting for.

  Aaron witnessed the long stretch of hair-covered purplish perineum between the ass crack and dangling testicles throb with anticipation. It spurred him on. He weaseled his way into the tendrils, parting the vegetation. And there it was: deep purple-brown, swollen and ridged, looking much like a crater. Indeed, it was like the dark epicenter of a volcano, the hair flowing from its edges acting as scalding hot lava.

  “Come on. Do it, my man.” Rocky kept his heterosexual vision focused on Aaron’s face rather than on the way-too graphic revelation puckering between Aaron’s fingers.

  Heart racing, hard-on throbbing, Aaron’s lungs fluttered as he moved in and stole his first sample of man, just like he’d seen it done on PervTube, his favorite website. The tip of his tongue fit snugly into the dark crater, and his taste buds were ignited all the way to his tonsils. His previously cotton-dry mouth literally juiced as he savored a flavor unlike any that had ever touched his mouth: dank and slightly pungent, yet paradoxically dry and bland. He circled the rim of the crater with his tongue and felt it twitch. There was another smothered sigh.

  “He likes it!” Chul stammered, petting his own spiky black hair.

  “Yo, y’all! This is SICK!” Lonny was freaking out, squirming uncomfortably.

  “This is just weird.” Justin’s voice faded as a slight grimace danced under his beard, his red complexion turning fiery.

  Rocky seemed mesmerized in the moment. He gripped the thick locks at the back of Aaron’s head to use as a steering wheel.

  Aaron delved in, allowing Rocky’s puppeteering to be his guide as he wetly devoured the health teacher’s bottom, feeling the layers of hair scrubbing against his face as his tongue probed deeper and deeper. The noises squeaking out from between his facial cheeks and the ass cheeks they were squished between filled the quiet room.

  Finally, Lonny broke the silence, shaking his hands like rubber bands. “Yo! Down-Low! You are NASTY with that shit!”

  The others, genuinely frozen in place, having allowed a mental haze to cover their vision to filter out most of what they were witnessing, laughed awkwardly at Lonny’s squeamishness.

  “Abercrombie’s digging it,” Justin muttered.

  Rocky was practically force-feeding the ass to Aaron with some level of delight—maybe not a sexual delight, but definitely a raunchy and gritty satisfaction. And the teacher bound into submission on the bed was clearly having the tenured time of his life. His entire body was wriggling, and his head was lifted off the pillow as much as possible, revealing his face, nearly unrecognizable behind the gag and blindfold.

  Aaron came up for air, releasing the tender flesh from his lips with a pop. As he looked at the others, his jawline smeared with his own spittle, he smiled like a kid and said, “Better than pussy!”

  His friends laugh-groaned in their disgust and Lonny retorted, “Like you’d know.”

  “Like you’d know!” Justin heckled Lonny, and got a punch in his skull-tattooed bicep as a response.

  “Fuck his ass,” Chul brazenly suggested, adrenaline oozing at the bizarre nature of the situation. If anyone might be slightly getting off on the circumstances, it would be him. He was the most pansexual of the crowd. With his stunning Asian features, he was no stranger to the world of modeling and had even posed for provocative homoerotic photo shoots for some major corporations, garnering a small legion of gay fans.

  “Yeah. Let’s get the game on!” Lonny agreed.

  “Guys, we don’t have any lube.” Justin realized now that the plan was in full swing and about to become a reality. Aaron had already risen off his haunches, as had Rocky—whose evil grin seemed to have spread across his bulky cheeks at Justin’s words.

  “Oh, I got this taken care of,” Rocky assured them all. “Justin, you got those gloves?”

  Justin reached over to the desk. Atop a stack of philosophy books was a box of white sanitary medical gloves.

  “You broke into Turvy’s office?” Aaron asked, and the first one to make eye contact with him was Lonny.

  “Down-Low, you best not be looking at me ’cause I’m the black guy!” Lonny said. “We didn’t steal ’em. We took the keys from his pants in the locker roo—”

  Lonny stopped mid-sentence and looked down.

  Aaron’s cock was darting out from a soft, blond, tame fluff of pubes. He’d been totally unaware of his steady excitement as he conversed with his buddies, but his erection was jumping and twitching as it periodically released streams of precum.

  Lonny pointed. “Mofo, where the fuck did that thing come from?”

  Rocky was busy slipping on a white glove, and Justin and Chul had been more focused on him than Aaron. But now they all moved in, circling Aaron from a safe distance.

  “What the fuck?” Justin stammered. “Abercrombie’s got nothing down there normally. Like an inch and a half at the most!”

  Chul smirked at the rigid display. “He’s a grower!”

  “Fuckin’ cracker’s almost as big as me,” Lonny said, mostly to himself.

  “Guys, cut it out. You’re embarrassing me, and I’m going to lose it.” Aaron tried to cover himself with his hands. However, contrary to what he was saying, a room full of gawking heterosexual guys pumped even more blood into his cock, which felt like it was about to burst.

  “All the more damage you can do.” Rocky winked as he released the band of the white glove with a snap. “Now spread that jungle apart for me.”

 
Aaron pried the hard butt cheeks to reveal the crater once again. Rocky moved as close as was comfortable, about two feet, and then wriggled his boxy jaw like he was chewing on something. There was a loud, wet thwap as he hawked directly into the crater, the spit bursting on contact into a large splatter over the area.

  “Ah, fuck, that shit’s nasty!” Lonny freaked.

  “Get used to it, pussy, because you’re next,” Rocky said.

  Lonny backed away. “Fuck no!”

  “Come on, Lon,” Chul egged him on. “This fucker deserves it. He’s been sticking his fingers up your shit hole for a year.”

  Lonny pondered the awful truth, then stuck out his long pink tongue in disgust as he moved forward with his legs while leaning back with his torso. He worked up the spit and hit the bull’s-eye. Turvy’s crater winked at him.

  “Blah!” Lonny danced backward on his toes as if he’d been bitten by it.

  Chul stepped up without any coaxing and added to the puddle. Justin topped it off, leaving thick white bubbly foam to dribble over the hairy perineum.

  Rocky scrunched his already scrunched boxer’s nose as he moved forward, used two gloved fingers to swipe the spillage upward and to the opening, and then directed Aaron to “Keep him spread.”

  With no regard for the man bound to the bed, Rocky figuratively dug in his heels to block out the concept of what he was about to do then literally dug his index and middle finger in using whatever natural lubricant he could scoop from around the edges of the entrance. There was a gurgling squeal from the head of the bunk as Rocky’s drill found the core, turning the crater into a sinkhole.

  “That’s right, Pervy! This is how it feels!” Rocky barked, mostly for self-satisfaction, considering Turvy was in an auditory world of screaming techno riffs.

  The health teacher’s pelvis was thrashing as much as his hogtied position would allow, bucking and swiveling in time to Rocky’s brutal jabbing, gloved fingers turning and twisting the anal tissue savagely.

  “Teach that mofo homo a lesson!” Lonny cheered, then slapped Aaron on the back and added, “No offense, Down-Low.”

  Aaron barely heard him. He was enthralled by the meaty ass going wild under his hands and the brawny straight man—his close friend and roommate—doing the deed. It was an odd dynamic: a sense-stunted man assuming he was in the heat of an unforgettable sexual encounter, a jaded and angry man thinking he was inflicting punishment for wrongs done. Rocky had a white-gloved hand crammed in between the saliva-soaked bush of a man’s ass, yet his facial expression was that of a man duking it out in boxing gloves. It was so intense Aaron had to release the fleshy cheeks and get up to step back from it all. He nearly crashed into the threesome behind him.

  “Yeeeaaahhh!” Justin snarled. “Rip that fucker a new one!”

  “That’s our buddy Aaron’s job.” Chul threw an arm around Aaron’s bare shoulders. “You ready to take over?”

  Rocky, with two fingers rammed up Turvy’s chute, stared at Aaron with a commanding nod. “He’s my man. He’s ready to pop that cherry. Get that secret weapon of yours over here.”

  Chul pushed Aaron forward. Aaron unconsciously stroked his lengthy cock.

  Rocky withdrew his fingers from Turvy’s asshole. Starting at the wristband, he peeled the glove off and flung it at his heterosexual counterparts, who all cried in horror and dodged it any way they could. It landed with a slap on the geeks’ dorm room floor. “He’s the gay one and you’re the ones screaming like girls,” Rocky chided them.

  Aaron stood with his cock in his hand. “What do I do?”

  “Just spit on your dick and stick it right in,” Rocky stated dryly. “I got it all loosened up for you.”

  Aaron placed an open palm under his painfully throbbing shaft and hawked into it, then polished his pole with the thick substance.

  “Do him good for all of us, Abercrombie,” Justin murmured as they surrounded Aaron.

  Aaron stepped up, his nerves jumping with anticipation, completely immersed in the camaraderie of his first sexual experience. It somehow completely quelled any fear or anxiety.

  “There you go. Spread it,” Chul urged him from the sidelines.

  “Totally messed up,” was all Lonny could muster.

  Aaron once again pried his target apart. The crater was inflamed now and more hollowed out in the center, waiting to suck him in.

  Rocky leaned in and spat into it once again. “There. That should do it. Look at that shit slit twitch!”

  “Fuck him!” Chul said.

  “Fuck him!” Justin echoed, pounding his tattooed arms into the air.

  “Fuck him!” Rocky and Lonny chorused.

  “Fuck him! Fuck him! Fuck him! Fuck him!” they all began to chant, not much different from when they made each other chug from a big nozzle at a keg party.

  It was mob mentality motivation. Aaron’s prick pulsed painfully. He used his dick as a divining rod. His fingers dug into the matted, spit-saturated tufts of ass fur and opened the space wide. The bunghole beckoned him. He put his piss slit to it and plunged forward. He sank into the tight warmth, feeling every inch of internal muscle hugging him as he progressed. His eyes bulged and he breathed in deeply and dizzyingly, like a reversed sigh, in time with a muted squeal from the man tied up in front of him.

  There was a gasp of “holy shit” from someone in the room as everything grew uncomfortably quiet. Aaron wasn’t even sure who emitted the expression of shock. It was as if no one present, including himself, could believe that he had just jammed his erect cock into another man’s ass.

  Without saying a word, Aaron released the ass cheeks, which bounced back around his cock. He grabbed the posts of the bunk on either side of him. He looked over with a dazed, confused, and anxious expression at Rocky, whose bulldog face was flushed with amazement.

  With all eyes on him, waiting for him to make a call to action, Rocky tore his gaze away from the penetration and nodded vigorously at Aaron, coaxing him to do the dance. He even did a simulated bump and grind with his big body as a visual aid.

  Aaron swallowed hard, then began to pull all the way out, sighing in time with the bound bottom. It was like sweet molasses was trying to grip his cock as he nearly vacated. Just before escaping its grasp, he dipped back into it, heaving with sexual relief. It was heavenly.

  “He’s really doing it,” Justin whispered.

  The reality of man-on-man ass fucking was sweeping over the heterosexual foursome, as if it had only been a hypothesis that was finally proving to be true.

  “Go for it,” Rocky urged Aaron, the intensity of his voice demonstrating how serious he was.

  Aaron’s fingers gripped the bunk posts and he began to thrust his hips forward and back, guiding himself in and out of the tunnel, which became more and more pliant with every concurrent plunge. “This is amazing.”

  “He’s really fucking Pervy in the ass.” Lonny stated the obvious, as if trying to convince himself of what he was witnessing.

  “That shit’s gotta hurt,” Justin said.

  Chul dared to crouch to get a glimpse between Aaron’s thighs and the cheeks against which he was slapping. “Pervy’s cock would highly disagree. BIG time.”

  “Fuck that motherfucker, my man.” Rocky gave Aaron’s muscular, completely hairless butt cheek a hard football player’s slap.

  Aaron’s arm muscles bulged as he tensed his whole body to strengthen the force. Loud smacks of hard thighs contacting hard glutes echoed in the geeks’ dorm room, as well as a squeaky moist sound as Aaron’s cock made mush out of the health teacher’s asshole.

  Rocky grinned. “That dick licker ain’t gonna be able to walk for a week. Get him, my man!”

  Aaron was fired up by the smell of testosterone permeating the stifling quarters and sounds that were as rugged as anything he’d ever heard in the gym. He grabbed up higher on the bunk and climbed his feet onto the lower mattress, on the outsides of Turvy’s powerful thighs, with his cock still deeply imbedded in Turvy’
s ass. He began to pounce steadily and urgently, giving a clear and explicit view of his long cock packing the man’s orifice, dragging flesh and hair along his shaft with each in-and-out thrust.

  *

  The four straight men in the room watched in awe as usually reserved Aaron simply let it all hang out. His lightly coated balls swung between his legs, bouncing furiously against the hairy balls of the older man. His nearly invisible, fresh pink asshole was revealed as his cheeks parted. And his entire body, much like that of a dancer, covered in lean muscle, flowed majestically in a wave-like S motion as he gyrated enthusiastically.

  “I knew he had it in him.” Chul’s chiseled, thin features glowed with pride at the show that was being put on for them.

  “Damn, Abercrombie! You aren’t fuckin’ around!” Justin said.

  The dorm pals were mesmerized. It was not like anything they would have ever expected. It was the least “faggy” act they’d ever witnessed, even if none of them would ever admit to realizing at that moment that gay sex was so much more masculine than straight sex. It was pure barbaric, animalistic lust with no concerns about feelings or emotions. It was entirely about selfish fulfillment. Aaron’s sinewy, youthful eighteen-year-old body brought memories back to each of the heterosexual dorm pals of their first times, as long ago as age fourteen for some of them. The aggression, the determination, the amazement at actually being in the middle of the act you had heard so much about, the pride in yourself for going through with it—all those emotions burst almost kinetically from Aaron’s aura. It was the manliest act in which any of the dorm pals had ever seen him involved.

  “That’s my MAN!” Rocky was ecstatic and gave Aaron’s now eye-level, bulbous little butt another hard smack as it swelled and retracted repeatedly. “I want you to cum up that fucker’s shit hole!”

  Aaron exercised it furiously, his entire musculature straining at the workout, reaching for that goal of orgasm. His body glistened with a sleek layer of perspiration. Turvy whimpered beneath him at the stimulation.

  “Holy crap! That motherfucker’s cumming!” Chul pointed under Aaron’s crotch and the filled hole of the health teacher.

 

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