“She had her chance with you. You’re mine now.”
His jaw tensed. “Kathy, you’re being petty.”
Her eyes flew open and she pushed against his chest. “Petty? Petty?” She spun from him, dragging her fingers through her long, blonde hair. “I think I’m being pretty fair!”
He was never good at this part of the relationship. When a woman was in his face, he needed to recollect himself before he lost everything that was dear to him.
“You’re right.” He moved toward her again. “You’ve been nothing but kind and compassionate. I’m sorry.”
“Then you’ll stop seeing her?”
It squeezed at his heart. How could he possibly promise her that? “I need to support her.”
“The kids support her. You don’t need to be there all the time. Why the hell do you care so much?”
“She’s my wife.”
The moment the words were out of his mouth he’d wished he’d never spoken. He wished he’d just let her go to sleep and he’d never touched her.
Her hand came across his face.
“Bastard!”
“Kathy, I’m so sorry.” The sting of the slap made his eyes water. “I didn’t mean that.”
“Yes, you did! You can’t seem to get it through that thick, stupid head of yours. You divorced her! You asked me to marry you!”
Tears were streaming down her face. He wanted to gather her up and hold her tight. How could he have been so stupid?
“Kathy, I’m sorry.”
“Are you having an affair with her?”
“What? No. Kathy, it’s not like that.”
She wrapped her arms around herself. “It feels like that.”
“No. I’m just helping the mother of my children get through the hardest time of her life.” He reached for her arms again. “Honey, I’m sorry this has hurt you.”
She pulled back slightly. Her body shook under his hands. “It hurts so much.”
“I never meant for it to. I love you.”
“Then keep your distance from her.” She turned and seared a look at him that made it perfectly clear the ultimatum if he didn’t. “Please, do this for me.”
He looked into Kathy’s tear-filled eyes. He looked down at his chest. It felt as though she’d pushed a knife through his heart. How could he not take care of Maddie? How could he just walk away?
The thought of the kiss he’d shared with Madeline raced through his head. What was he doing? But he had to be honest with himself. He’d let Madeline go years ago. This was his chance to be the husband he should have been then. Carlos nodded. “Okay. I’ll step back.”
Chapter Seven
Carlos’s hand fidgeted over the phone as he sat at his desk. The students had long left the building, and his own kids were home waiting for him to arrive. But he couldn’t move. He couldn’t leave until he called Madeline and made sure she was all right.
A phone call wouldn’t break his promise to Kathy. A phone call wouldn’t hurt.
He finally dialed her number and waited for her to answer.
“Hello.” Her voice was soft and gentle. That was Madeline. Soft and gentle.
“Maddie.”
“Carlos!” Her voice rose, and he could hear her smile. “I almost didn’t recognize myself this morning. I have to tell you. I laughed right out loud when I saw myself in the mirror.”
Warmth spread through his body. “I’ll bet you still look great.”
“Thank you.”
She was laughing. She was fine. He could hang up and know that she’d be okay.
“Hey, I just wanted to check on you. It doesn’t look like I’m going to be able to make it to go shopping for a few days.”
“Oh, that’s okay. I’m getting this scarf thing down pretty well. They don’t look too bad.”
“Good.” A lump formed in his throat.
“Arianna called me this morning. She’s going to be here a few weeks between shows and to throw your fiancée a bridal shower. She’s got a few wigs from performances cluttering up her closet. She’s going to bring them down for me.”
“That’s nice.” His voice cracked and he swallowed that lump of raw emotion—deception for making the phone call—that had lodged in his throat.
“Carlos, is something wrong? You don’t sound all right.”
“No. I’m fine,” he lied, and the palm of his hand sweated against the phone. “I’ve just got a lot on my plate and I’m trying to find time for it all.”
“Well, if you’d stop fussing over me, you’d have more time,” she offered.
He picked up a pencil that lay on his desk and snapped it in two with his thumb. “I’m not fussing.”
“You’re a good man, do you know that?”
He shook his head. He didn’t feel like a good man, not when he was sneaking phone calls to his ex-wife when his fiancée asked him to keep clear of her.
“Call me if you need anything. I’ll have the kids take the bus to your house on Monday, and they can stay with you next week.”
“I miss them already. Isn’t that crazy? It’s not like they weren’t here just yesterday.”
“No, I understand it.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’ll talk to you later.”
He ended the call and dropped his head in his hands. God, he didn’t know trying not to care for someone could be as hard as caring too much.
Kathy had decided to get married on a Saturday morning in April in the backyard of his sister’s house among a small group of friends and family. It was February already, and Carlos knew that the eight weeks before the wedding were going to be a combat zone wrapped in pink.
“I need you to make me a list of people you want to invite. I think I know everyone, but just in case I miss someone.” Kathy handed him a notebook and a pen.
“How many people are we going to be able to get into Regan’s rose garden?” he asked as he looked at pages that she’d titled CARLOS’S FRIENDS.
“I think we could get seventy-five people in there.”
“Seventy-five?”
“Well, you have to think, with your family alone that’s. .” She began calculating. “That’s twelve if you count spouses, dates, and kids.”
“Not to mention my long list of dearest friends.” He shook his head.
“Shut up and make your list.” She gave him a wink as she went back about making her own list.
He couldn’t help but think of the people he was putting on his list. It felt odd to put people down who had been there to see him marry Madeline. Most of them were relatives. He’d never kept too many friends. Matt Carson had been his closest friend in the world. He stood next to Curtis at the altar with him the day he married Madeline. He never would have guessed then he’d have lost his wife to the man he’d thought of as a brother.
Carlos shook his head. Sometimes you were blinded by friendship and love, and you never could see the wolf lurking in the person’s clothing.
Matt had spent hours with him when problems with Madeline had begun. He had been his confidant, his sounding board, his strength. What kind of man takes that brotherhood and stabs you?
Matthew Carson, that’s what kind of man. The same man who moved his way into Madeline’s heart and convinced her to marry him only months after their divorce was final. Then five years later walked out on her when she needed him the most.
He let out a breath. Who needed friends when they were like Matt Carson?
They combined their lists. He had twenty. She had forty-three.
She looked up from his list, her brows drawn together. “Madeline isn’t on your list.”
“No. I left her off.”
“Why?”
“Kathy, you can’t tell me to leave her alone and then want me to have her there for the wedding.”
She nodded as she stacked their lists together and paper clipped them.
“I want to tell you how sorry I am for being like that.” Her delicate fingers crinkled the papers she nervously reclipped. “I’ve never
been jealous before, and I don’t like the way it makes me act.”
Carlos pushed his chair back and crooked his finger for her to walk toward him. She stood and crossed to him, sitting on his lap just as he wanted her to do.
He wrapped his arms tightly around her. “You have a problem, do you know that?”
“What?” Her eyes narrowed again and her lips pursed.
“You’re too nice.”
“Quit,” she said as she slapped his shoulder.
“Do you know what she would have done in your situation?”
Her lips tightened. “What?”
“She would have thrown a shoe at my head.” Kathy laughed but quickly reeled it back in. Carlos pulled her closer to him. “Really. She gave me three black eyes in the ten years we were married.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Okay, I ducked from the shoes and ended up moving right into their line of fire, but that’s my story.”
Her shoulders hunched and she cuddled into his chest like a small child. “You’re a lucky man to have a relationship with your ex-wife like you do.”
“I know that. I also know I’m a lucky man to have a woman who loves me and wants to marry me.”
“Thanks.” She brushed his lips with a gentle kiss. “She’s fortunate to have had you around. I’m sorry that I ruined that.”
Carlos shook his head. “She’ll be just fine without me meddling in her day-to-day affairs. She’s an amazingly strong woman with a great will to live and do many wonderful things.”
Kathy sat up on his lap, cupped his face in her hands, and kissed him again. She lingered for a moment, and Carlos knew she’d fight that jealousy demon for a long time to come, but she was trying. What more could he ask for? She gave his cheek a playful pat, which he thought might have been just a bit too hard, and then stood and went about tiding up the kitchen.
Carlos sat and thought about what he’d said. He was right about Madeline. She’d be fine and she’d go on and make a life for herself. Sooner or later the kids would be grown and they’d have no reason, except weddings and births, to even see each other.
The thought struck him as hard as the shoes she’d once thrown at him. He didn’t want that. Madeline had been a daily part of his life since he was fifteen. How could he give that up?
Kathy pushed through the rack of dresses she had chosen. There were eight. With Regan and Arianna’s help, she’d been able to eliminate five of them.
“I like the simple elegance of that one.” Arianna pointed to the dress Kathy held in her hand with its straight skirt and scooped neck. “It’s just simple and elegant.”
“That would encompass the statement simple elegance.” Regan laughed at her sister.
“You know this is all beyond me. If you weren’t going to appreciate my opinion, why did you ask me to come?”
“I appreciate your opinion,” Kathy said softly. “I’ll try this one on first.” She walked toward the dressing room with the dress that Arianna liked best. As she undressed she could hear the banter between her future sisters-in-law.
“So when are you getting married?” Regan’s voice was muffled through the door.
“Right. I see that happening in the near future,” Arianna was quick to quip.
“Giving up?”
“No. I’m just too busy to care. Besides, everyone in my industry is so adept at telling lies for a living, I think they forget which ones they’ve already told me.”
Regan laughed. “In time.”
“Well, I’m thirty-eight years old. I don’t see myself settling down now and starting a family. I’ll just have to spoil Tyler.”
“Zach’s already talking about having more.”
Kathy paused with the dress over her head. Was it wrong to hope that Reagan would hold off on another baby until she had convinced Carlos to have one? Was it wrong to want, for once, some of the limelight?
Arianna huffed out a loud breath. “Tyler is only three months old. What’s the rush?”
“Oh, I think we’ll start trying at the end of the year. I want him to have siblings that are close in age like we were.”
“Yeah, Mom and Dad had their hands full for a while. I think about the time I was ten, you and Carlos were both eight, and Curtis was six. How did Mom keep her sanity?”
“She’s a saint?”
“No kidding.”
Kathy slid the dress down her body and emerged from the dressing room. Both Regan and Arianna stood, their mouths dropped open in awe.
“Kathy, its gorgeous,” Reagan said as she laid her hand to her chest. Her eyes filled with tears, and when Arianna noticed she nudged her.
“Having a baby has made you sappy.” She walked toward Kathy. “It’s just beautiful.”
Kathy looked in the mirror. “Do you think so?”
“This is your wedding day. You’re supposed to have whatever you want.”
Kathy nodded. “Maybe I should show it to Carlos.”
“Are you kidding me? The man has no taste. You can’t show it to him until you walk down the aisle. Those are the rules.” Arianna settled her fists on her hips.
“You sure are an expert,” Regan added, nudging her sister back.
“Well, I’ve seen enough of these things. I’ve seen simple and I’ve seen yours. Your six-hundred-person wedding with more flowers than a flower shop.”
“We didn’t have six hundred people.”
“Felt like it.”
“You’re jealous.”
“As if.” Arianna shook her head and turned her attention back to Kathy. “Try on the other two. Let’s see what they look like.”
Kathy retreated back into the dressing room with another dress. She wished her own sisters had been able to be there with her, but they lived too far way to make the trip more than once. She missed her family and wished she had the kind of relationship with her sisters that Arianna and Regan shared. All of the Keller siblings looked out for each other. Even Curtis, who was the baby, wasn’t treated like one. She was the baby too, and wasn’t she always reminded?
She slid on the dress of white silk and let it fall over her curves. Looking at her cleavage, full and beautiful in the bodice of the dress, she thought of Madeline. She sighed.
What would it be like to be going through what she was going through alone? Was she scared of dying or had she come to grips with it all? It had been months since she’d had surgery and started her chemotherapy. Had her hair grown back like Carlos’s and Eduardo’s? Was she feeling any better than the last time Kathy’d heard Carlos talk about her? Clara mentioned that she was going to have more surgery to get her boobs back, as she’d put it. Was that going to be more painful than having them removed?
Kathy touched her hand to her chest. She’d been so unfair to Carlos in asking him to not have anything to do with Madeline. It had been three weeks, and he’d been home every night. He’d been attentive. He helped pick out invitations and gave his opinion on flowers. He took his brothers to the tux rental store and they had initial measurements done. Everything she needed from him, he’d given, without argument and without one mention of Madeline’s name.
Kathy felt ill. She’d said she was going to see Madeline since the day they’d found out she was sick. She’d never made it to her door. It was time.
When she walked out of the dressing room, Regan and Arianna shook their heads.
“You like the slimmer one better?” Kathy asked, and they both nodded. “I think I do too.”
She turned and looked at herself in the mirror. She wasn’t feeling like a blushing bride at the moment. She was feeling like a grinch.
Kathy stood on the doorstep of the house that Madeline and Carlos had once shared. Carlos had the kids, and she knew Madeline should be home from work. She’d lied and said she had a late meeting and wouldn’t be home until late. She thought it was a bit ironic that when it came to Madeline, neither she nor Carlos could be completely honest with each other.
She’d picked
up flowers and wondered if the gesture would seem silly. She let out a breath and rang the doorbell.
When the door opened, Kathy almost didn’t recognize the woman who stood before her. Madeline was in a business suit with high heels, a suit coat, and a beautiful white silk blouse. But it was the deep red hair that brushed her shoulders in a swingy bob that had thrown her off.
“Kathy,” Madeline said, her voice rising in obvious surprise at finding Kathy standing on her doorstep. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes, everything is fine.” She tried to keep her voice even but found it extremely hard to do. “I’ve been meaning to come by for a visit.”
“Well, come in. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to leave you out in the cold.” Madeline opened the door and Kathy stepped through. “I just got home from work. Make yourself comfortable. I’m going to change my clothes, and I just made some coffee. I’ll bring us out some. Do you take anything in it?”
“No, black is fine.”
“I’ll be right back.”
She’d never been inside the house. She’d been outside when Carlos had dropped off or picked up the kids from time to time. It was a simple design from the outside. A house once picked out by a young couple with the mindset that they would fill it with family. Inside it was homey. A candle burned on the mantel of the fireplace. A quilt had been thrown on the back of the couch as if someone had recently stood from under its comfort. Pictures of the kids she cherished were everywhere.
Their current school pictures were set on the mantel in big elegant frames. The same pictures hung on the walls of Kathy’s home, but she only now noticed that the children’s clothes matched in color and accented the colors in the room.
She laid the flowers on the coffee table and looked at the other collages of pictures. They were filled with Madeline and her children, all of them at varied ages. Eduardo’s first bike was red, and Clara had curly hair as a baby. Christian played baseball, and when Eduardo graduated from kindergarten, Madeline wore her hair long and straight.
Kathy swallowed hard. She stared at the wall in front of her, plastered with its eclectic mix of photos, and realized that was what she wanted. She wanted a matching wall with pictures of children she gave birth to.
A Second Chance Page 11
