by Amy Brent
“Gotta get ’em in when I can. But you’ll call, and if I need the out I’ll pick it up and act like it’s an emergency. But if something’s wrong, I’ll open up a text message to you and press send.”
“Where will you be tomorrow night?” he asked.
I hesitated before I drew in a breath through my nose.
“Providence.”
“The seafood place on the water?” my mother asked.
“That’s fancy stuff for a first date,” my father said.
“He told me to pick wherever I wanted to go, so I decided to test his resolve,” I said, grinning.
“That’s my girl,” he said as he wrapped me up in a hug.
I hugged my father tightly and buried myself in his chest.
“I’m proud of you for getting out there again. After all you’ve been through, you deserve someone to dote on you a bit.”
“Thanks, Daddy.”
“I’m happy, too. But if the date goes well, we’re going to get pedicures and you’re dishing on this mystery man,” my mother said.
“I promise,” I said, grinning.
“Lunch ready?” Brody came stumbling down the stairs, and I rolled my eyes.
“Oh yeah, growth spurt time. He’s so gangly he can’t keep his feet under him,” I said.
“You okay, sweetheart?” my mother asked.
“Can I have a popsicle, Grammie?” Brody asked.
“Of course you can. What color?”
“Blue.”
“Blue it is!”
My father hugged me a little tighter before he released me, much to my guilt. I felt terrible for lying to them, but I wasn’t ready to tell them who I was going to meet. I didn’t want to tell them what this date was actually for because I didn’t want them to worry. But more than that, I didn’t want them to feel as if they were keeping something from their only grandchild.
I hadn’t lied to Brody when I had said I was taking time for myself to get a nice dinner Monday night, but that was all he needed to know. My mother would feel compelled to talk with Brody about it and my father would spend his time getting Mom to keep her mouth shut.
I didn’t want to do that to them while they spent time with their grandson. I also didn’t want their opinions on the situation thrown at me.
Damn it. How the hell had dinner already gotten so complicated?
Tyler
I sat at a table toward the back of the restaurant that I had managed to snag for us. The light was a little dimmer out this way and a candle flickered on the table. We had a distant view of the water and it was the quietest part of the restaurant, which helped with two things: one, Ana wouldn’t raise her voice in such a quiet environment, and two, maybe the romantic and darker atmosphere would open up a two-way dialogue rather than the one-way conversation I’d had to agree to in order to get her to meet me at all.
Taking a look at my watch, my stomach rolled in on itself. Three minutes to six. I was nervous, sitting there waiting for her, which only proved to me that I still had a lot of leftover feelings for Ana.
It wasn’t something I had attempted to deny. Nor was it something I had attempted to get over. Ana had captivated me in high school, and her spell hadn’t yet released me. She had been the only woman on my mind night after night despite friends always trying to get me to go out to bars and pick up other girls over the years.
Heels clicking my way pulled me from my trance. I stood up and looked over, knowing it would be Ana. What I found was a stark contrast to the awkward, quiet high school girl I’d fallen in love with all those years ago.
In her place was a beautiful woman with curves that blossomed in all the right places and a seductive stare that left me weak in my knees. The bright yellow dress she had rolled down her body left nothing to the imagination. The neckline was high and the dress was sleeveless, showcasing the softness of the arms I had felt wrapped around my neck so many times as a young man. Her toned legs flexed in her yellow-and-black polka-dotted heels, and for the first time I was getting a glimpse of the fashionista Ana had grown into.
Everything was perfect. Her blond hair was piled high on her head in a beautiful twist, with wisps of hair accenting her dangling earrings. They drew my eye to a neck I wanted to kiss. Her eyes had a beautiful tint of makeup and her lips glistened with a natural gloss that begged for me to kiss them.
Her eyes locked with mine as she sat down. I braced myself for what she had to say.
Ana looked phenomenal, and she was about to devour me whole in all the worst ways.
“I want to start off by saying I was a little harsher than I needed to be when we spoke on the phone.”
Her big blue eyes fluttered up to mind and I felt my heart slam against my chest. It took all I had to keep a hold on my tongue in order to abide by what I had agreed to. I wanted to open my mouth and tell her it wasn’t an issue, that she was fine. How she felt and what she felt and how she expressed it was all fine to me.
She was fine to me.
“With that said, I’ve been bouncing around the past few days trying to figure out a way to cohesively tell you what that argument did to me, and I couldn’t come up with anything better than what I’m about to say.”
I locked my eyes on hers as she drew in a deep breath.
“You made me no longer trust myself, Tyler.”
I furrowed my brow in confusion as she shook her head and giggled.
“Those last few months we spent together were tense. And we struggled. We fought over stupid stuff—things teenagers do in relationships. But never through all of that did I ever doubt us, what we had, the love we had for one another. I knew that, if anything, I could trust that. I could trust my judgment of that one facet of our world. And then you said what you said. You made a comment in the heat of the moment about being glad to get away from me, and it shattered that entire perspective.”
I curled my toes to try to keep the energy boiling in my system at a low simmer.
“In the back of my mind, I knew you were simply angry. You wanted me to talk to you about my future plans, but I didn’t have any. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life at eighteen. I hadn’t applied to colleges, Tyler, and I was ashamed of that. It took me almost a year after graduating high school to figure out what the hell I was going to do with my life. But you wanted answers right then and there that I couldn’t give you.”
“Why didn’t you say that?” I asked.
She shot me a look, but I hadn’t been able to hold it in anymore.
“You said you’d stay silent so I could talk.”
“Just answer that one question. Why didn’t you tell me any of this, Ana?”
“Why didn’t I tell the Harvard-bound genius that I hadn’t applied to college? Are you really asking me that?”
“Did you think I would look down on you? Somehow see you as inferior simply because you didn’t have a plan at eighteen? Many of us didn’t have plans at eighteen.”
“No one else mattered to me, Tyler. Only you.”
I didn’t know how to respond.
“I knew that letting go of me was best for you. I knew if you held on to me in L.A. you wouldn’t go to Harvard. Or you’d come back too often. Or you’d sacrifice your classes and your grades in order to keep in touch with me. I didn’t want that for you. I didn’t want to hold you back, Tyler. I loved you too much for that. So, in the heat of the moment, I rode with it. I said I was glad you were leaving, too, and then I left. I hoped it was the push you needed to go to where you needed to be to succeed. I was a sinking ship, and you were hopelessly anchored to me.”
“And you didn’t once think I should’ve had any say in that?” I asked.
“No. You were an eighteen-year-old boy hopelessly in love but destined for so much more.”
“You ripped my decision away from me. I called after you, and not once did you turn around. And I admit I should’ve gone after you more. I should’ve gotten into my car and driven after you until your ass ran out of gas or pulled ove
r or—or something. But you made that decision without my consent, and I would’ve never done something like that to you.”
She winced, and I immediately backed off. I had slapped her with my words and that had not been my intention for this dinner. The confident woman who waltzed in with her juicy legs and her high head sank back into her chair. She physically curled herself away from me.
She hid herself again, and it broke my heart. But we were already knee-deep in a conversation that was long overdue, so we might as well see it to the end.
“Don’t make decisions for my life without consulting me. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s someone who takes away my right to make a decision. You know that.”
She bit down on her lower lip as her gaze panned around the room. She was hiding something, keeping something from me. While I had attributed the distance that had formed between us to my words, I wasn’t sure if her inability to open up was because she had a secret or because we had spent the last eight years avoiding one another.
“I need you to understand that even though you hurt me and even though I questioned every decision I made with my life for months after you left, never once did I make a move I didn’t think would benefit you. I loved you, Tyler, as much as any eighteen-year old girl could. And I did what I thought was best for the boy I loved. That’s all.”
“And I can respect that, but it doesn’t mean I agree with it,” I said.
“Seems like everyone feels that way about my choices,” she murmured.
“What was that?”
“Nothing.”
“No, what did you say?”
“This dinner was a mistake.”
“Ana, stop.”
“Have a nice night,” she said.
She got up from her chair, and I lunged after her. I had allowed her to walk away from me once, but I wasn't allowing it again. I wrapped my hand around her wrist and stopped her in her tracks, and the electricity that filled my palm shot goosebumps up her arm. She pulled herself away from me and rubbed them away, but I had already seen them.
She still wanted me.
And I sure as hell still wanted her.
“Is there anything else you want to say to me?” I asked.
She shook her head.
“Then sit down and let me buy you dinner. I didn’t quite stick to the rules, so let me make it up to you.”
“I really should go,” she said.
“We don’t have to talk. We don’t have to interact. But no woman who comes out to eat with me is leaving hungry. Sit and eat, Ana. Then if you want, you can leave whenever you’re done and I’ll pick up the tab.”
She glanced at the table before her sad eyes raked up to mine. I didn’t know what she was hiding, but it was eating her up inside. I had come with every intention of expressing my want for a second chance with her, but now the tide had changed. I didn’t want to ruin the night any more than it had already been ruined, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to scare her off again.
There would be a time and a place for that, but we weren’t there yet.
I sighed with relief when she made her way back to the table. I inched her chair out and she sat down. Then I scooted her under the table and made my way back to my seat. The waiter came over and I put in a request for a nice bottle of red wine. Then the two of us ordered. I got the filet mignon with shrimp poured over it and steamed broccoli. Ana ordered their shrimp cocktail, a small chicken salad, and Kahlua crème brûlée.
“That dessert sounds wonderful. Make it two,” I said.
We passed our menus off to the waiter and were left alone again.
“So, how did you go about making yourself a local fashion icon?” I asked.
The smile that crossed Ana’s face sent butterflies humming in my gut.
“Out of anger, actually. I went shopping with Mom one day after—” She paused and backtracked. “Well, we just went shopping, really. I’ve always hated shopping. Nothing ever fit right and nothing ever looked as good on me as it did the mannequin. I got so fed up one day while shopping with Mom that I blurted out the question that started it all: ‘Why don’t they make a store for me?’ It dawned on me not too long after that.”
“So in your anger over not finding clothes, you set out to make your own?” I asked.
“I guess so, yeah. It started with me taking some weekend classes at the community college on fashion and design. A bit of business here and there. I didn’t actually get a degree, just took some classes to help educate myself on the process. I made my first few pieces of clothing by myself and sold them at various things. One of Dad’s poker buddies bought a dress I made for his wife, and another one of them commissioned the same dress. Mom’s lunch girls bought a couple of my scarves and accessories and ordered more. It sort of spun out of control after that.”
“That’s really incredible. You know that, right?” I said.
“I needed to make a life for myself, so I did.”
“It takes strength to do that, Ana. Strength and intelligence and perseverance. You can’t teach any of that in college. It would’ve been a waste of time for you. College would’ve held you back. You made the right choice.”
Something flickered behind her eyes before she cleared her throat. What was she holding from me?
“I had a little help along the way, though I hated accepting it. Dad purchased the storefront property behind my back and gave it to me as a birthday gift. I insisted on paying him back, though he wouldn’t hear of it.”
“Did you pay him back?” I asked.
“In full with interest less than two years later.”
“See? Strength. Perseverance. That’s incredible, Ana. You have to know that.”
She blushed and smiled, and it warmed my soul.
“So, tell me about this business venture of yours that brings you back. What made you come home?”
You did.
“My parents. I always felt guilty for leaving them, especially with my mother still struggling.”
“She’s still struggling?” Ana asked.
“Worse than when I left. I don’t know what the fuck’s gotten into my father or what he’s doing to enable her, but I’m about to have a conversation with him.”
“Are they fighting like they used to?”
“Not to my knowledge, but I haven’t been over to their house since I’ve been back. I’ve been meeting them out, hoping it’ll keep a lid on things if they are.”
“I’m so sorry, Tyler.”
“It’s so weird. It’s like my father refuses to see it or excuses it because my mother is functional. But just because she’s a functioning alcoholic doesn’t mean she isn’t an alcoholic.”
“What do you think you’ll do?” she asked.
“I’ve thought about talking directly to her during a period when she’s sober, but every time I call her—no matter what time of day—she’s slurring her words the second she picks up the phone.”
“Holy hell. She has gotten worse then.”
“I don’t know what to do, but I don’t want to dwell on it right now.”
“Then we won’t. At Varnish the other night, Brandon said something about you being a trial lawyer. Have you taken a job with a practice out here or something?”
“No. I’ve opened up my own practice.”
“Wow. I bet you’re proud of that,” she said, grinning.
Not as proud as I am of you. Look at you, Ana. Accomplished. Independent. Sexy as hell. Look at you go.
“I am. I have the top four floors rented out to me right now, but my dream is to buy the entire damn building before I’m thirty.”
“Three whole years of doing nothing but working.”
“It’ll be tough, but I think I can do it. I want to be the go-to firm for anyone who needs defense or prosecution. But right now I’m focusing on defense.”
Dinner went a lot better than expected once we got over the initial hump. Ana became warmer and friendlier toward me. I told her about my dreams for
my practice and she told me about her dream to open another storefront in San Diego. We smiled and laughed. We ate our fill and drank the entire bottle of red wine. Though there were moments where I could tell she reigned herself in. She clearly held herself back from fully exposing herself to me.
The rational part of me figured it was because she was still hurt. But the curious part of me wondered if it had anything to do with the secret I knew she was keeping from me.
Or maybe I was getting paranoid.
“So, I know this might be overstepping,” I said as I handed the waiter my card, “but would you consider coming back to my place for another glass of wine? There are cardboard boxes everywhere, but the view of Los Angeles is decent from the windows of my living room.”
She pondered my words as I put my John Hancock on the bottom of the receipt.
“I guess another glass of wine wouldn’t hurt if I called myself a cab.”
“You can follow me in your car back to my place. Then you can park it in the parking garage. It’ll be locked up and safe. Then you can come back anytime for it. I’ll give you the code to get down in there and you can walk through the open garage and get it anytime you wish.”
“Is this a ploy to get me to come back to your place?” she asked.
“Ah, you caught me,” I said, winking.
She threw her head back and laughed, and I watched her beautiful skin bare itself to me. How I had missed that sound. The peace and comfort that came over me was astounding. I got up and reached out my hand, offering it to her as her eyes came back to mine.
I was shocked when she slipped her hand against my palm.
I escorted her to her car. Then she followed me back to my place. She parked next to me and got out, swaying her hips a little deeper than she had before. I didn’t know if it was the alcohol or if she was doing it intentionally, but it took every ounce of energy I had not to stare at her ass while she walked.
“What floor do you live on?” she asked as we entered the elevator.
“Ten,” I said.
“Then ten it is.”
She pressed the button and the elevator lurched to life. We stayed silent during the entire ride, but the tension pulsing between us was evident upon her skin. Her neck was flushed and she gripped her purse a little too tightly. Her chest moved a little more with each breath because she was intentionally trying to steady them. The need I had for her and the way my cock throbbed behind my pants was a reaction I hadn’t expected tonight.
