She sighed, taking in their drawn faces. On some level, Josie had been expecting this. Record companies have their stable of producers and production engineers who gave them what they wanted without any hassle. Josie had yet to elevate herself to that position. Yet.
Regardless, the news of being let go so early in the game managed to throw her for a loop and knock her off balance as much as her meeting with Ron Albani had. They still had a few more shows to do at the Wild Horse Saloon. She didn’t think that Will would be so quick to replace a band that had become tight in such a short period of time. The band members may not be well known in Nashville, but they were a good fit together. Hopefully, in time, Will and the A&R execs at the record company would see that and decide to keep them together as a band.
“Hey, maybe things will be different for you. You and Brock being so tight and all,” Roy added.
Josie shot him a hard look, her jaw tight. It was a knee jerk reaction, born of a long climb to prove herself in a business that cared little about how hard you worked to make it.
“Why should that matter if the record company is set on replacing me?”
Roy shrugged, taken aback by her abrupt words. “I just figured-”
But she cut Roy off. “You figured wrong. My relationship with Brock is as separate from anything we’ve been doing professionally as yours. If the decision is made to give me walking papers, then I’ll be getting them, regardless of my relationship with Brock. I suspect Brock will be by in the morning to give me the news himself.”
Miles sputtered. “Don’t count on it. He’ll probably be sleeping until dinner tomorrow. Will has him on a short string tonight. He’s looking to make the most of these contacts.”
“As he should. That’s what Brock hired him for.” She sighed, amazed the tears hadn’t appeared. “Look guys, I’m really sorry. You two should be out there with Brock enjoying the evening as much as he is, but sometimes it doesn’t work that way. This business is cutthroat. But even if the band is being replaced, you should still be trying to make contacts. Especially if you’re going to be replaced. You’ve still got a week’s worth of gigs in Nashville. A lot of people are going to hear about tonight and want to come out to see the shows. And when they do, they’re going to see what fine musicians you are and want to work with the two of you. Don’t think of it as the end of the world. This is just a jumping point for all of us.”
Roy eyed her skeptically, his jaw tight. “You mean to tell me you’re not royally ticked off after all the work we’ve done these past two months?”
She shook her head. “No. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want us to stay together like one big happy family. But I can’t change what is happening any more than you can. I can’t control it. I can only make the most of the chance being given me. And I intend to do that.”
“That’s right. I forgot you’ve been through this before when Grant kicked you to the curb after his contract.”
Miles gave Roy a smack against the arm. “Geez, you’re such a hard-”
Roy grunted and rubbed his arm. “What’d I say?”
The mention of Grant didn’t sting as hard as it might have a few months ago. Or the comment about how she’d been let go. This wasn’t the first time she’d been handed a raw deal. But that wasn’t the worst of it.
“It’s okay, Miles. I can handle it. Yes, I’ve been through this before and on some level, I was expecting it, even though I’d hoped for better. But I made a mistake once and didn’t pursue a good opportunity I was given. I’m not making that same mistake again. Please, don’t make that mistake yourselves. Go out there and get a piece of what’s coming to you for your efforts. You deserve it.”
Josie then said good night, giving each of them a tight hug before closing herself in her room.
The tears didn’t come still, but she knew they would. Deep down she expected to be let go. Part of her had fantasized about being beside Brock as he made his rise to fame, sharing the road with him. She pictured the two of them, side by side, traveling the country together.
It had been a nice fantasy. Now it was time to wake up and deal with reality.
Dexter cautiously emerged from under the bed, having recovered from his scare by the window.
“Come here, boy. I need a hug.” Reaching down, Josie scooped the cat into her arms and pressed him against her chest.
At least she still had Dex to stand by her. She knew his love was unwavering. He’d always be her faithful companion no matter which road she took.
Brock was dead on his feet. He had shaken so many hands and met so many new faces that his head was spinning.
There’d be time to sort it all out later, Will had said. Well, that may be so. But he didn’t think he’d be coming to any new conclusions with the time that was coming.
It was his music, his songs, and yet everyone tonight felt they alone knew what was right for Brock. Brock could see the irony in the situation. In all the years he’d sat in his room and dreamed of living the life of a country musician, he’d been alone. In the beginning, he had been. But he wasn’t alone in this anymore. And after tonight, he realized he didn’t want to be alone anymore.
The one thing he knew without a doubt he needed in his life was the very thing they were trying to take away-Josie.
It wasn’t going to happen. No way. He just had to figure out a way to make it right.
The halls of the grand hotel were barren and the bright lights down the corridor only made it seem starker, washing out the decor that had probably cost the hotel a mint in interior design fees. It only magnified the fact that he was a long way from home.
His own house in Steerage Rock was a far cry from clean lined wallpaper and rich colored rugs, plush and patterned with ornate designs. Sure, it had been just as meticulously decorated years before his mother’s death, but the main home of the Silverado Cattle Company had her warmth and love etched in every tiny detail and hadn’t been changed in over eight years.
Brock had never worn a watch and he didn’t plan on starting now that life was going to get out of control. But he knew it was late-no, make that early-enough that he shouldn’t be knocking on anyone’s door, especially Josie’s.
In an hour or two people would be rising from their beds, getting dressed and hustling down to breakfast. They’d be starting their days and Brock was just finishing his. But he needed to see Josie.
She was probably asleep, comfortable and alone in the privacy of her own space for the first time in over a month. He normally would have relished the idea of spending time alone with his own thoughts after being elbow to elbow with the rest of the band. But he needed to see Josie, needed to hold her and just hear her voice. Brock was as sure about that as he was sure he needed his next breath of air.
A quick knock on the door was all it was going to take to satisfy his need. She’d be deep asleep and wouldn’t hear his knock, even though he’d wait and knock again. Fatigue would finally win over his desire to see Josie and then he’d retire to his own room alone, and probably sleep until noon. Who wouldn’t be able to sleep in a room the size of Texas and in a bed that was a far cry bigger than the bunk he slept in on the bus? Will had promised the luxury as a reward after such a spectacular night.
But sleep wasn’t what was on Brock’s mind. So much had happened tonight, so much he needed to talk to Josie about. He didn’t need a manager or his buddies from the band. What he needed was his friend. And although Josie had become more than just a mere friend to him these past weeks, he knew he needed her to help him sort through everything that was spinning in his head.
As he suspected, his knock had gone unanswered. Leaning his head against the door, he listened to the silence, broken up only by the occasional hum of air passing through the heating ducts. Not even the bell of the elevator interrupted his listening for some sign from the other side of the door.
Brock waited a full minute, then reached his fist to the door again, stopping in mid-motion from knocking. Even thoug
h they’d agreed to meet at her room after the show, she was probably asleep. What right did he have to disturb Josie? She wasn’t going anywhere tonight and she deserved the reward of uninterrupted sleep in a comfortable bed just like the rest of them.
With a stifled sigh, he pushed away from the door and prayed for the speed of sunrise.
The tears had come and gone. Josie knew they would. She hadn’t stopped them, or even tried to admonish herself for the weakness. This time things were different. She wasn’t running.
She’d given herself a good twenty minutes before she could see beyond the blurriness in her eyes to start packing. Why she’d unpacked her clothes from her duffle and put them in the hotel dresser was a mystery to her now. But there was no sense in keeping them there if she didn’t plan on spending another night. If she was being fired, then she wasn’t in the band’s budget anymore and she couldn’t afford to stay in a hotel as luxurious as this and pay for it on her own.
Josie tossed her clothes into her duffle bag a little more carelessly than she normally would.
And the tears came again, forcing her to swipe at her face to wipe away the moisture. She dabbed her eyes with a tissue and then blew her nose. Damn the tears. She’d expected the pain and had even accepted it, but she refused to cry in front of Brock or the band. And if she didn’t pull herself together quickly, she wouldn’t be ready to face any of them in the morning. If she had her way, she wouldn’t see another tear at all.
Josie pulled her duffle open wide and started haphazardly stuffing her belongings into it. Since she couldn’t sleep, it didn’t make sense to wait until morning to pack.
She’d have to look for an inexpensive apartment tomorrow. There’d be newspapers in the lobby. She’d remember to pick one up when they went down for breakfast. Tomorrow at breakfast, she’d see Brock and he’d tell her exactly what was going on. In the excitement of the evening, talk always clouded judgment. Before jumping to the conclusions that were spinning in her head, she’d have to sort things out with Brock.
“What are you doing?”
Startled, she bounced back and landed on her behind on the floor.
Pressing her hand to her chest, she said, “Brock, you scared the daylights out of me.”
“The door was open.”
Realizing that she had indeed done such a stupid thing in her upset state had her shoulders sagging. “I thought I’d locked it when Miles and Roy left.”
He was standing on the far side of the room, staring at her duffle bag on the bed. “You have to be more careful about things like that. You didn’t even notice when I walked in. What are you doing?” he repeated.
“Packing.”
He laughed one of those are-you-serious kind of disbelieving laughs. “Yeah, I kind of figured that one out. The question is why?”
Well, there’s no time like the present, she thought.
“I told you. Miles and Roy stopped by.”
Shaking his head, he came into the room fully and shut the door behind him. In the quiet of the night, it sounded unusually loud. “What does that have to do with anything?”
Josie couldn’t help the smile that crept up on her face despite the pain she felt in her heart. “I heard all about what happened tonight. How the record company offered you a deal.”
“You heard wrong.”
She dropped the shirt she’d been holding, tossing it to the bed and advanced toward him.
“Wait. But Miles and Roy said-”
Frustrated, Brock said, “They offered me a recording contract, yes. That much is true.”
Hearing it from his own lips made the joy of the news that much more real. “Brock, I’m so thrilled for you.”
His eyes wouldn’t leave her duffle bag, sitting wide open on the bed, or the clothes that were thrown inside. “That’s why you’re packing?”
“No, of course not.”
“Then why?”
She didn’t trust her voice to remain steady. But this man was her friend, if nothing else. “Since I’m being fired, I can’t afford to stay at such an expensive hotel on my own. I figured I’d search for something a little more affordable tomorrow after breakfast.”
“Miles and Roy told you that you were being replaced?”
“Yes,” she said, getting to her feet.
“And you just decided you’d leave. Just like that. Without even talking to me?”
The hurt in his eyes almost leveled her. “No, that’s not it at all. I’m not leaving Nashville or you. Just this hotel. And I wasn’t going to leave here without talking to you. Brock, are you telling me it isn’t true?”
Brock sighed, relief replacing the hurt. “Nothing’s been decided. Nothing permanent, anyway. Will was talking so fast I could hardly keep up with him.”
“But they want you, right?”
His lips tilted to a grin, but it was bittersweet, as if he was holding back the excitement of that for the prospect of losing his band.
They want something. I’m just not sure it’s me.”
She smiled, wanted so much to reach out to him out of joy for his success, yet the troubled look on his face made her reach out for another reason.
“Of course they want you,” she said, slipping her arms around his waist. “Who else would they want?”
“I don’t know.”
Brock waved his hands around in frustration. He should be on top of the world tonight and yet he acted like a man who was about to come unglued, though not in panic, as earlier in the evening. His expression was troubled, like he’d been waging war with himself and lost.
“Will started talking about bringing in some record company techs to do sound at the Wild Horse. Before I knew it, they were talking like it was all a done deal. They wouldn’t listen to a word I said after that. I just got a bunch of ‘Don’t worry, kid. We’ve got you covered.’ replies and a slap on the back.”
Josie eased out of his grip, stifling a sigh. “Will didn’t listen to you at all?”
“Who do you think was slapping me on the back?”
“Well, then you heard the man yourself, Brock. The news is fabulous for you. They want you. And that’s great. They just don’t want me.”
She picked the duffle up off the bed with one hand and started to zip it shut, but stopped when Brock pulled it from her hands.
“I want you, Josie. I don’t happen to agree with Will’s ideas or Rick Beckley’s for that matter. When I caught up with Will, I told him I didn’t want anything they were offering.”
She dropped the duffle on the bed and a few balls of rolled socks fell out along with her toothbrush and makeup bag. She left them there and held onto Brock’s hand.
“Are you out of your mind?” she said, taking a step toward him.
“Last time I checked, no.”
“You said no? You actually told this record company exec you didn’t want a record contract?”
“I said no to the deal he was offering. As far as I’m concerned, we’re still negotiating.”
Her hands flew to her face. She couldn’t believe it. What on earth was he doing? “You said no. Just like that.”
Brock pushed his hand over his head, fatigue pulling at his face and clouding his beautiful blue eyes. “I told him I’d think about it and get back to him.”
The cockiness in his voice infuriated Josie.
“Brock, you need to get on the phone and call Beckley back. Kiss his feet if you have to, but you don’t walk away from a recording contract. That’s insanity!”
“What’s insane is letting go of my band … and you.”
“You just don’t get it. There are a thousand guys just like you standing outside Rick Beckley’s office door just hoping to get a smile from the man. They’d stoop as low as shining his fancy patent leather shoes just to get a moment of his time. And you just said no?”
“Yes.” Brock remained calm and that made Josie all the more agitated. Beads of sweat appeared on her forehead and her breathing became as shallow as Brock’
s had earlier when he’d had his panic attack backstage before the show.
“Brock, he offered you a contract.”
“I know.”
“You’re sabotaging yourself. If you’re still in a panic-
“It has nothing to do with panic.” He smiled for the first time since coming into her room. “Thank God you were with me tonight, Josie. I don’t think I would have made it on stage at all if you hadn’t been here.”
“This isn’t an offer you can just walk away from that easily. You’ve got to think about what you’re doing. You’re good at what you do, but chances like this don’t come along as often as the seasons. Most people never get a chance to realize their dreams. You can’t make a decision like this without thinking.”
“That’s what Beckley said, but I have thought about it.”
“Yeah, for all of two seconds. Why are you doing this?”
Something jumped in his jaw. “I told you. I don’t want to lose you. I love you, Josie.”
Her heart melted with his words. She’d wanted so badly to hear them. But for the first time, she realized she didn’t need Brock to say it. Even in his tired eyes, his love for her shined brightly.
She shook her head and began to pace around the room. “This isn’t about me, Brock. This has never been about me.”
“How about us then?”
“I love the idea of us. I really do. I just can’t be in the middle of a decision you make about your career. I can’t be a reason you would say no.”
“Part of what Rick Beckley and his people love, or claim to love, about my music is what you helped me make of it, Josie. What you brought to me. They want to wipe all that clean away and I’m not going for it.”
“No regrets. Remember? We said that.”
“I remember.”
“I can’t help but think we made a mistake if you’re willing to throw away the chance of a lifetime. And that’s what this is, one chance in a lifetime, Brock. You may never get another chance like this.”
“I didn’t say no. Said I’d think about the offer and gave Rick my terms. Whether you like it or not, you and the band are part of that.”
Gypsy Hearts Page 12
