“Yeah, and that was stupid. He even admitted that himself when we saw him after Christmas. He only did it because he had to pick up Frank at the hospital.”
“I want to see them, Garret. I want to see Frank and Ryan. That’s all this is about. If Carson wanted to try something, he could’ve done it by now. I’ve been alone with him plenty of times.”
“Not alone in his car for 22 hours! This is exactly what he wants, Jade. To get you alone so he can convince you to stop seeing me. He’ll be saying shit about me the entire time while he tries to move in and take my place.”
“Nobody is taking your place. Would you just come over here so I don’t have to yell this across the room?” I wait for him to sit next to me. “You know how you always say I’m stuck with you?”
He doesn’t answer. His mind is still on Carson.
“Hey, you. Over here.” I laugh as I push on his shoulder to get his attention.
He finally looks at me. “Yes, I heard you. I always say you’re stuck with me.”
“Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me, too. Carson can say whatever he wants about you, but it won’t change anything. I’ll still want to be with you. I don’t want to be with anyone else. And I don’t mean just now. I mean not ever.”
His expression softens as I continue to say the things I should’ve said months ago.
“I know sometimes I say or do things that make you think I won’t stick around, but it’s not how I feel. I want to stick around. I want this—us—to be my future. I don’t want this to ever end.”
It takes a few seconds for my words to register with him and when they do, the corners of his mouth tick up a little. “You’ve never said that before. How long have you felt this way?”
“For a while. I was just afraid to say it.”
We’re both quiet for a moment and then he says, “So I’m stuck with you, huh?” He says it like he’s not sure that’s a good thing.
I punch his arm. “Hey, you’re supposed to be happy about this.”
He lays me down on my back and props himself up beside me. “I am.” He gives me a kiss, then runs his hand up and down my arm. “But I’m still not sure about this trip. It’s your decision, but can you just think about what I said before you decide?”
“Yes, but I want you to think about what I said, too. You have nothing to worry about.”
“I’ll always worry about you. You know that. And I’m not just worried about Carson hitting on you. I’m worried because I hardly know anything about this guy, and it really does concern me that he’ll be driving the whole time without a break. It’s dangerous and it’s still winter so you might hit bad weather.”
“Okay, I got it. So can we make up now?” I ask with an anxious tone.
He looks confused. “Why? Did we have a fight?”
“Well, yeah. Where were you?”
“That was more of a disagreement, not a fight. Hang out with my dad and Katherine for an hour or two and you’ll hear a real fight.”
“I don’t want us to fight like that. To me, what we just had was a fight.”
His sexy smile appears. “Then let’s make up.” He takes his t-shirt off, then kisses me softly and trails more kisses down my neck to the opening of my shirt. He undoes each button until he’s at the end, leaving kisses all the way down to my stomach. The area just below it is scorching hot and begging for attention. He undoes my jeans and slides his hand down them. Then he kisses his way back up to my mouth as his hand does whatever the hell he does down there that is pure magic.
“Garret,” I say breathlessly.
“What?” he says against my lips.
“You’re so damn good at this.”
I feel his brief smile on my lips before he kisses me again. My body is on fire with sensations, the tension building under the direction of his hand until it finally releases.
Garret strips the rest of my clothes off, then quickly takes off his. My body is still reeling with sensation as he enters me. His slow, deep thrusts cause another wave of tension to build. His hand slips under me, pulling us closer as his hips move faster until the tension releases yet again with him following shortly after.
He stays there for a moment, his body covering mine, laying soft kisses along my shoulder. “I love you, Jade.”
“I love you, too.”
He shifts onto his back and holds me close against his chest. I feel him kiss my forehead before I drift off to sleep.
We wake up a few hours later. Garret stretches his arms out, then relaxes them around me again. “I’m starving. How about you?”
“I’m pretty hungry, but the dining halls are closed.”
“I wasn’t going to eat there anyway.” He gets up and starts dressing. “You want pizza?”
“I always want pizza.”
He picks my clothes off the floor and tosses them on the bed. “When we get our own place we’ll be able to cook something instead of always getting takeout.”
“I like takeout. I never got it growing up, so to me it’s like a special treat.”
“Did your mom cook much?”
I laugh at the thought of my mom cooking. “If you call making a vodka tonic cooking.”
“So I take it you did all the cooking?”
“If we had stuff, then yeah.” I laugh again as I wiggle into my jeans while lying on the bed. “It’ll be nice when I can stand up to put my pants on again.”
“You didn’t have stuff? You mean like food?”
“What?” I almost forgot what we were talking about. “Oh. Yeah. We didn’t have money. You need money to buy food.”
After our earlier conversation, I’m finding it easier to talk about my past. Telling him the story about the day my mom died was a big deal. Now that it’s out there, I’m not so worried about telling him other stuff.
“What about food stamps?”
I sit up and put my shirt on. “Sometimes they run out before the end of the month.” I smile. “And they don’t call them food stamps anymore. They give you a card to use at the store.”
“Couldn’t you go to a food pantry when you ran out of food?”
“We didn’t have a car so there were no trips to the food pantry.”
“So you just didn’t eat?” Garret stands next to the bed as I button up my shirt.
“I ate the free lunch at school.”
“Are you saying that was the only food you ate all day?”
“If we didn’t have anything at home, then yeah.”
“What about weekends?”
He looks so sad and concerned. I reach for his hand.
“Garret, just forget it.”
“You went all weekend without eating?”
“Sometimes. But it’s not just me. A lot of people live that way.” I pull him back down on the bed and kiss him. “So what are we getting? Pepperoni?”
“What?” He’s in a daze.
“The pizza. Are we getting pepperoni?” I laugh. “Are you still asleep or something?”
“No. I was just thinking.”
“About what?”
“I didn’t realize how bad things were for you growing up. I mean, I know living with your mom was bad, but I didn’t think about things like not having food.”
“It doesn’t matter. It was a long time ago.”
As I start to make the bed, he stops me. “Jade, you’ll never go without anything ever again. I promise.”
I kiss him again, then push on him to get up. “Well, you already broke your promise because I’m going without pizza and I’m starving.”
“I’m calling right now.” He gets his phone out to call in the order. “Shit! How did this get out so fast?” He’s swiping through messages on his phone.
“What are you talking about?”
“My phone number. My email. I just changed all that and now I have over 800 new text messages and almost 300 emails.”
“More naked pictures?”
He swipes the screen. “Yep.” He stops and looks.
I grab the phone. “Garret! You’re supposed to delete those, not look at them.”
“I’m a guy. Of course I’m going to look. Then I’ll delete them.” He gets his wallet from the desk as I flip through some of the emails.
“You got another marriage proposal. Actually you’ve got one, two—at least five marriage proposals. And lots of girls asking you to take them to prom. You probably have 100 of those.”
“Come on, let’s just order the food. I’ll delete those later.”
When the pizza guy arrives, Garret meets him outside, then comes back shaking his head. “The delivery guy asked for my autograph. Can you believe that?”
“So now you have male fans, too?”
“The autograph was for his little sister. Apparently, she has pictures of me all over her bedroom wall.” He sets the pizza on his desk and gets some sodas from the fridge.
“Did you give him the autograph?”
“No. If I did, his sister would tell her friends and then they’d start following me around town asking for one.”
I don’t mention it to Garret, but I’m starting to get a little worried about his fans. A few preteen girls is one thing, but some of the girls who emailed him sounded more like stalkers than fans.
This reality show can’t get over fast enough. Only three more weeks and everything will go back to normal.
Later that night I consider Carson’s offer to drive me home and decide to accept it. I know Garret won’t like it but I don’t always like his decisions either.
Wednesday morning I call Frank and tell him about my change in plans. He insists that Ryan drive to Carson’s house in Illinois to pick me up instead of making Carson drive another four hours, and I agree.
I call Carson and tell him the plan. He’s really excited. Almost too excited, which makes me think Garret’s right and Carson wants to be more than just friends, which could make this an awkward trip. But Carson knows I’m committed to Garret and I’ll remind him of that if necessary.
At dinner I tell Garret the news. “So I’ve decided to let Carson give me a ride home.”
Garret stops eating and looks up from his plate. “Um, okay. And you’re not worried about him driving for 22 hours straight?”
“He’ll only have to drive for 18 hours, which is still a lot, but it’s better than 22. We’ll drive straight to Carson’s house and Ryan will pick me up there.”
“Maybe Ryan has to work.”
“I already checked and Frank said Ryan’s off those days so he’ll be able to pick me up and drop me off.”
“You already told Frank this? So you told him before me?” Garret drops his fork on his plate, making a loud ding sound. “Did you purposely tell him first so you couldn’t change your mind?”
“What? No. I just wanted to let him know what was going on.”
“What about Carson? Did you tell him yet?”
I focus on my plate and use my spoon to pile up the corn I never ate. “Um, yeah. I told him.”
I feel Garret’s anger without even seeing his face. “What the hell? You didn’t even consider anything I said, did you?”
“I considered all of it but you’re making a big deal out of nothing. I’m not interested in Carson. And if he starts saying things about you, I’ll tell him to stop. We won’t even talk about you.”
Garret takes his tray and gets up to leave.
“Where are you going? I need help with my tray.” He comes back and takes my tray and drops both of them off at the conveyor belt.
I follow him as he walks out of the dining hall. He doesn’t wait for me as I take forever on the crutches. I meet up with him in his room.
“Why are you getting all mad about this? You said it was my decision.”
“Jade. I just need a few minutes, okay?” He’s standing by his desk not looking at me.
“A few minutes to what?”
“To calm down so I don’t say something I’ll regret later.”
“Just go ahead and say it. You think I’m stupid or naïve for thinking Carson won’t try something on this trip. Is that it?”
He walks to the door and holds it open. “Why don’t you come back in an hour? I really need to calm down before we talk.”
“I’m sorry, Garret. I just want to see Frank and Ryan. That’s the only reason I’m doing this. I wasn’t trying to piss you off.”
He doesn’t say anything so I leave. I don’t go back up there later and he doesn’t come downstairs. At 10 I call him.
“Aren’t you sleeping down here tonight?”
“Do you need me to?” He still sounds mad. “You haven’t been having any dizziness or headaches today, right?”
“No.”
“Then I’ll probably just stay up here.”
“But we only have two nights left before I leave and then we’ll be apart for a week.”
“Do you need me to sleep down there or not? Just tell me what you want.”
“Forget it. I’ll sleep alone.”
He hangs up without saying goodbye or goodnight or that he loves me. I know he said he needs some time to calm down, but I wish he’d find another way to manage his anger. When he pushes me away like this and refuses to talk to me I start to lose faith in our future. All my fears about committing to him come flooding back into my mind. I revert back to the old Jade. The Jade who doesn’t want or need anyone in her life because people just let you down.
Whenever I feel like this, I have to keep reminding myself that I’m not the old Jade. I can’t think like her anymore. I can’t let her doubts and anger and fears taint my judgment. Doing so will just turn me back into the person I don’t want to be.
It’s almost midnight and I can’t sleep. I’m so used to having Garret beside me that the tiny twin bed feels big and empty without him. As I reposition my pillow for the hundredth time trying to get comfortable, I hear a soft knock on the door. I grab my crutches and get up to answer it.
“Hey.” It’s Garret, dressed in the navy shorts and white t-shirt he often wears to bed. The anger in his eyes is gone and he seems more relaxed. “Am I still invited?”
“Yeah. Of course.”
He comes in and shuts the door. “I’m sorry about how I reacted earlier. I shouldn’t have shut you out like that. It’s just that the thought of you with him for all that time—” He stops and takes a deep breath. “Never mind. I’m sorry. That’s what I came down here to say. I love you and I don’t want to fight about this.”
“I don’t want to fight either.”
Garret sets my crutches down on the floor and picks me up and carries me back to the bed. He lies beside me, wrapping me in his arms. “Sorry if I woke you up. I should’ve come down earlier.”
“You didn’t wake me up. I couldn’t sleep.”
“Me either. I’m so used to sleeping next to you that now I can’t sleep unless you’re beside me. I’m really going to miss you next week. I wish I was going with you. If it weren’t for this fucking reality show. I’m so sick of this.”
I feel him tensing up.
“It’ll be over soon.” I tug his arm closer around me and feel him relax again.
I shut my eyes, but part of me still feels anxious about our fight. In the past I would’ve said nothing and just gone to sleep, but that just makes things worse. If I want this relationship to work, I need to just say what I need to say.
“Garret?”
“Yeah.”
“I know you were mad at me tonight, but I can’t have you telling me to go away like that. It makes me feel like you don’t want this anymore. And then I get mad at myself for getting involved with you in the first place. I know I can’t react like that every time we fight, but until I get over it could you maybe not throw me out of your room when I piss you off?”
“I’m sorry, but I just didn’t want to yell at you and say something I didn’t mean. And you didn’t piss me off. I was pissed off at Carson and I needed some time to calm down.”
“Well, maybe
next time we could just sit together and not talk.”
“We could do that.” He sits up on his side and I turn to face him. “But Jade, you need to understand that we’re going to fight. It’s normal and it’s okay. We won’t always agree on stuff. Sometimes I’ll be mad at you and sometimes you’ll be mad at me. But that doesn’t mean we’ll break up.”
“I know we’ll fight, but I still don’t like it.”
“I don’t either, but it’s part of being in a relationship.” He runs his hand down the side of my face. “Even if we fight, don’t you ever think I don’t want this. I want this more than I’ve wanted anything. I want you more than anything.”
I nod.
He kisses me. “So are we okay now?”
“Yes.” I yawn as my eyelids get heavy and close.
“Hey.” I feel him nudge my side.
“Yeah.” I open my eyes again.
“Don’t be afraid to tell me when I’m being an ass. I do stupid shit all the time, especially when I’m pissed, so feel free to call me on it. I won’t get mad at you for it.”
“I know. I just don’t like yelling at you.”
“You don’t have to yell. Just tell me. I can handle it. I know this may come as a shock, Jade, but I’m not perfect.” He can’t even say it without laughing. “And neither are you.”
I sit up, trying not to laugh. “Hey, I’m totally perfect!”
“You’re not.” He lays me back down and drops a kiss on my lips. “Neither one of us is. But together we’re kind of perfect. So it works.”
“Yeah, it does.”
He lies behind me again. I flip on my side and scoot my back into his chest.
It’s exactly where I belong. Not just tonight, but forever.
8
When I go to class on Thursday, I hear people talking about The Prep School Girls’ Reunion. The first episode starts tonight and it sounds like everyone on campus plans to watch.
During chem lab even Carson says he plans to watch the show. “Are you and Garret watching tonight?”
“I don’t know. Maybe we will just to see what they say about him.”
“Has he talked to Ava since all this started?”
Promising You (The Jade Series #4) Page 7
