Running his fingers through her hair, he pictured how blissful their wedding night would be.
It was going to be magic, and it would start as soon as they got back to his place.
Tonight was the night.
When he pulled into the driveway, he continued talking to her. “I’m sure you’ve heard about the other women in my past. I’ll be honest. I really liked my ex. She was pretty spectacular, but I couldn’t keep her. She was too wild. I tried to break that streak, but I couldn’t do it, so instead, I had to break her. I know you won’t be like that, Magdalene. After all, you’re perfect and sent from heaven above to be my angel.”
He parked the vehicle and hustled over to her side. Yanking the door open, he pulled her to her feet. Immediately, her eyes popped open, and she began mumbling.
“Going…to…be...”
He bent her over as she sicked up the booze and drugs still swimming in her body. “After our wedding night, I’ll get you some food. Do you like pizza, Magdalene?” he asked, holding her hair as she continued to retch in his grass.
His heart ached as she purged. He didn't want to see his new wife sick.
“Poor baby,” he muttered, leaving her kisses on the back of her neck. “I’ll take really good care of you,” he promised.
When she was finished, he lifted her into his arms.
“Who are you?” she asked, barely able to keep her head up. It lolled back, dropping against his shoulder.
He grinned wickedly as he held her close. “I’m your husband. I’m the man who will be taking care of you for the rest of your life.”
If the words registered, she didn't make any move to escape. It pleased him. “See? I knew you’d be the one,” he stated, taking her inside his home. “I had a feeling that you’d stay and not fight me like the others.”
Once inside, he carried her around, showing his new bride the place. Granted, it wasn’t as big as hers, but it would do—at least for now—until they could build their life together. His father raised his family here, and now he would too.
“Here we are,” he sang, placing her body on the mattress in his spare room. Immediately, he began taking off her clothes.
“While you’re my wife, you can’t dress like this, Magdalene. It’s not appropriate, especially when you’re pregnant. I don’t want the mother of my children looking like a common whore. While seeing you in these clothes turns me on, our babies should have a good, wholesome woman to call mom. So, I prohibit you to wear anymore slutty things. ”
Then, he paused, thinking about what he just said. With a lecherous laugh, he continued, “Unless it’s going to be in our bedroom. Then you can dress like this for me all you want. In fact, I insist.”
She didn't say a word as he stripped her. Magdalene remained motionless and as still as death.
This was all he wanted in life.
It was what his father strived for and never found.
But he had!
Yes!
She was finally here. He’d found his wife.
When she was naked and her wrists and ankles were bound to the bed, he stripped too.
“Normally, I’d wait until you were more eager to please me, but I want to get a baby in that body of yours. It’s time to be lush and have a child for me, honey.”
Climbing onto the bed, he couldn’t help but run his hands across her alluring flesh.
He couldn’t wait any longer. This was the happiest night of his life. With bringing her home, his life was about to begin. They were going to have a bright future together.
He was sure of it.
After admiring what was now his, he didn't hesitate to continue the evening’s plan. Needing no invitation, he forced his way into her body, claiming his bride.
It was heavenly.
While tonight she was hiding in unconsciousness, tomorrow, he wouldn’t allow it. The training would begin.
The next twenty years would be amazing, and he knew it. As he pounded into her body, he was focused on one thing.
He couldn’t wait to be a daddy.
Now that he was a married man, the fun was about to begin...
* * *
After arriving back at the hotel, they got their keys and Ethan made sure that each and every one of their team was tucked in for the night. He wasn’t taking any chances with the people who relied on them. The last thing he needed was to pile on a mess.
While they all ordered their dinners, staying locked in their rooms, Ethan Blackhawk did what he did best—worked.
Sitting at the table, he scrolled through his tablet, auto signing all the paperwork that his administrative assistant had sent to him. Ginny must have been in the mood to take it easy on him. There was less than normal.
Maybe it was his lucky day.
After that, he got into his black pajama bottoms and slid into one of the king size beds. Callen was on the other, staring at the ceiling. He’d been that way for the last twenty minutes.
Blackhawk wondered if he should intervene.
Whenever he was stressed, Ethan enjoyed silence. It gave him the opportunity to work through it in his own time. Ethan was well aware that Callen was the opposite. He was a talker. Although burdened himself, Ethan had the overwhelming need to help the man he loved get through this.
Hitting the light switch to flood the room with darkness, he could still see his brother in the moonlight.
“What are you thinking about?” Ethan asked.
“Her.”
He assumed that he meant their wife. “Lyzee?”
“Yes.”
“Want to talk about it?” Ethan offered. Their woman was on his mind too. In fact, he had just sent out a silent wish to their grandfather to make her appear. When he opened his eyes, she wasn’t there, so that took care of that little fantasy.
“Today something happened.”
Ethan rolled to his side to listen. “Go on. I’m here for you, Callen.”
Without skipping any details, Callen shared the tale of the horny anthropology student.
“Were you tempted?” Ethan asked. “You are only human, Callen. We went from daily sex to nothing, so I can understand.”
He looked horrified that his brother thought that little of him to assume he would even contemplate it.
“Never mind,” he muttered, rolling over. There was his past, once more, staring him in the face. It hurt that his own brother would believe he’d break the vows he made to Elizabeth.
“You can tell me anything. You’re my blood, Cal,” Ethan offered. “If I upset you, I’m sorry.”
Callen let the anger swamp him. “I wouldn’t ever cheat on Elizabeth. I would die first. I’m more upset that I can’t function. I feel off balance, and anymore I’m scared all the time. I thought that by facing my past, seeing Doctor Gaines, and fighting those demons, it would heal me. Instead, I feel a million times worse.”
Now Ethan got it.
“I’m sorry I jumped to the wrong assumption, Cal. I can only tell you from my experience that it does get better. When you dig down into the festering wounds, they bleed more. You’re ripping off that protective scab and getting down to the damage again. They never really healed before. They were still infected, but you didn't know it. Now, they’ll heal the right way, but in their own time.”
“I miss her. I miss Elizabeth so damn much that I want to weep over it. I couldn’t imagine losing her. How would I face each day? I look at my son and see her. There’s that mischievous twinkle in his eyes. It’s the same one she gets when she’s ready to hurt someone for being a jackwagon.”
Ethan laughed. “Yeah, CJ gets it too, right before he clocks his brother. It’s a thing of beauty.”
“I want to hold her, tell her I love her, and wash away all these feelings that are brewing in me. I feel lost, defiled, and so broken. She left before I could heal. I needed her to get through this, and now she’s gone.”
“You’re angry.”
He was.
“She abandoned
me when I needed her. She promised me she never would, Ethan. Now, she’s gone. I can’t do this alone. I’m not strong enough.”
There was guilt. After all, he sent her. He should have said no. Ethan made a huge mistake, and now they were all suffering because of it. Work came first, and his family was paying for it.
“I’m so afraid.” Callen wanted to cry in the worst way.
Blackhawk knew what would help his brother.
“I was afraid today too.”
Callen rolled to his side so they were staring at each other across the open chasm of the two separate beds. “Why?”
“I worked so hard before Elizabeth to forget who and what I was. I built this veneer to make me look, act, and behave differently. I didn't want to be the ‘Indian’ in the room. I wanted to be Ethan Blackhawk, the man who worked damn hard for the FBI.”
“You are that.”
He released a pent up breath. “I wasn’t. I was lying to myself. You can’t change who you are, Cal. I was failing, and then I met her. Elizabeth charged into my life and knocked me on my ass. She hated the black and chrome, despised how I didn't ever let myself dress down, and she made me into the man I am now. This is who I am, and without her, I’m afraid I’ll go back. I’m scared I’ll become some work obsessed man who lets love and life slip away. I don’t want to become that cold shell of a human being again.”
Callen listened.
“When she finally comes home, what if she doesn’t love the man I am anymore? What if the time away makes her see that there are so many people out there who deserve her more? What makes this lowly man so worthy of her heart?”
There was the truth behind it all.
“I worry too. I wonder if this month will make her fall out of love with me. We both know you’re her husband on paper. I sometimes feel like the spare.”
Ethan was glad that he wasn’t alone, but he would have borne this by himself to save his brother’s heart. “Why us, Cal?”
“I have to believe that we’re just lucky. It’s all I have to hold on to at this point. I’ve asked myself that a million times, and there’s never an answer that’s good enough. Why did she fall for me, even after she had you? Will the love run out one day? Will she see that I’m so broken and damaged that it’s not worth it anymore?”
His heart ached for his brother.
“Yeah, I often wonder what I’ll do if that happens,” Ethan admitted. Funny, this talk wasn’t making him feel any better. In fact, he felt a million times worse.
Well hell…
Callen had to have faith in their missing partner. She’d never let him down. He had to think back to all the good things, like when she was defending him when other women hurt him, to keeping his heart safe in her hands. Elizabeth didn't falter.
They had to put their faith in that.
“I’m scared too.”
Callen knew his brother was carrying everything on his shoulders. After Ethan’s abduction, he had tried to do the man’s job, and it was overwhelming. Whitefox wanted to offer him peace.
“It’s going to be fine. I know it.”
Ethan wanted to believe him in the worst way. It was funny how this started out about making Callen feel better, and the man was now trying to do the same thing.
“Our wife makes everything better,” he stated. “The reason she does is because Lyzee was always meant to be ours. If she wasn’t, we wouldn’t fit. I would have cheated today, you would be obsessed with work, and our family wouldn’t be solid.”
A laugh slipped out as he scrubbed his hands over his face. “Yeah, you’re absolutely right. I can’t wait to smell her perfume, feel her skin, and know she’s safe.”
“I wish I could call her.”
He did too.
“We need to get some sleep, Cal. Tomorrow is going to suck. I’m missing half of the sleuthing team, so you’re going to have to play Lyzee.”
Callen snorted and without missing a beat, continued, “Yee haw, Cowboy.”
“That was terrible,” Ethan admitted, but it did make him smile. For that, he was grateful.
“Indians shouldn’t play cowboy. It’s confusing as hell,” Callen stated.
Ethan laughed, and then rolled onto his stomach to get comfortable. He hated this position, but without his wife, the bed felt foreign to him.
Silence befell the room.
“Ethan?” his brother whispered.
“Yeah, Cal?” he asked. This reminded him of when they were young boys at his grandfather’s cabin.
“Can I sleep with you? This feels wrong to me. It just reminds me of what we’re missing.”
Ethan grinned, his blue-black eyes sparkling when the light from the moon hit them. “You absolutely can.”
Immediately, Callen grabbed his pillows and hopped into the other king bed. Expertly, he placed the extra pillows between them, not to act as a barrier, but to be the stand in for the woman who held their lives together.
She was the cream in their cookie.
The glue that fixed all the cracks.
Immediately, both men moved toward the center, pressing their bodies against the ‘faux Lyzee’. It wasn’t perfect, but it allowed them to relax a little.
“Goodnight, Ethan,” Whitefox said.
“Goodnight, Cal,” he replied.
Sometime in the night, their legs tangled, their hands found each other, and they held onto the mass of pillows between them.
Peace was momentarily found, giving both men more strength to face the next day.
Without the woman they loved.
* * *
He waited for her to leave the bathroom after her shower. It was one of the best times of the day for him. Jaxon would be warm and flushed pink from the steam.
She would also be naked.
Just the way he liked her.
Since agreeing to marry him, Tony had opted to throw down some rules.
Every night, they talked about their day.
At some point, they wouldn’t be working together, and he wanted her to always know he was there to listen.
The next rule was that they wouldn’t go to bed angry. That was one he stole from his best buddy, Chris Leonard. He told him that it worked for him and Cyra.
Lastly, he liked his fiancée to sleep naked. From her reaction to the rule, and the way she threw in that he needed to do that, too, Tony could tell it was a hit.
They both won on that one.
When she exited the bathroom, towel wrapped around her body, he waited in bed. Slung across his lower body were the hotel sheets. Behind his head, his hands remained clasped.
Tony had Jaxon’s full attention. To be completely honest, he didn't mind her gaze sliding down his body, since it did exactly what it always did.
That one look turned him on.
Wildly.
“Tony,” she said, enjoying him watching her. In fact, everything he did was sexy and hot. There was something about knowing a more experienced, older man wanted her.
It made the butterflies flutter in her stomach.
“Come to bed, Jaxy,” he replied, his voice already thick with the tell-tale signs of lust and need.
She moved toward him.
“Lose the towel. You know the rule.”
Jaxon did as he asked, knowing that his bossiness in bed, his control, and his delicious masculinity made her even more wild. In the dirty, death-filled hole, she was generally the boss. Here, he was the king of their union.
She was perfectly fine with that.
Putting her trust in him was the ultimate sign of faith. While he was in charge, she knew there would be so much pleasure. Never would she have to worry that he’d let her fall. Tony would keep her wrapped up and safe until the end of time.
That was one amazing feeling.
She was blessed.
When she reached for his outstretched hand, he tugged, pulling her toward him. Jaxon tumbled, landing in his lap.
“Other rules first,” he mumbled, finding her throa
t with his mouth.
“The day sucked, I’m not mad at you, so let’s have sex,” she declared, covering all three rules at once.
He laughed as she sucked in a breath when his hands wandered across her flesh.
“Mine was pretty shitty too,” he offered. “Are you sure you’re not mad at me?” Tony asked. He knew that once the FBI began their investigation tomorrow, he wouldn’t be able to focus as much on her.
She giggled and squirmed in his lap. “Not at all, but if you don’t make love to me, I will be. I’m getting pretty pissed that your mouth isn't on me already.”
“Well then,” he stated, rolling until she was beneath his body and tangled in the sheets. Her arms were wrapped up and pinned beneath her.
When his mouth found her breast, she gasped in a mix of pleasure and want. “Tony!”
“Hush, Jaxy. This is what you asked for.”
He lit her body on fire with heated kisses. They ignited that spark of need into a full-blown burn, starting in her gut and moving outward.
There was only him.
It was only this man who could do this to her every day for the rest of her life.
Tony could so easily pull every emotion from her.
“I love you, Jaxon. I’ll love you until the day I die,” he vowed, moving down her body.
As she struggled to get free of the sheets, the tangle of them only made her more excited. She was his prisoner, and he was doing whatever he wanted to her body.
In true Tony fashion, he feasted on her.
Slow.
Torturous.
Licks.
He knew what made her wild, and as her body jerked beneath his oral assault, Tony was forever aware that he would never get enough of his fiancée.
“Fall for me, Jaxon,” he stated, nipping the most sensitive part of her body to shove her off the edge.
When she tumbled, he watched the red flush sweep up her pale Irish skin that he loved so very much.
“Oh God!” she shouted as the pleasure wracked her body, making the orgasm that much more powerful.
Dead Shall Speak (An FBI/Romance Thriller Book 10) Page 11
