“This shit isn’t what’s eating you, man. You’re upset about Jessica, and until you get that all worked out, you’re never going to be able to focus on anything else. You’re in love with her. Go to her before it gets any later. And come back here tomorrow, ready to fight the smart fight.”
I left the drink where I poured it and walked out of my office. I had my keys from my pocket before I stepped foot in the elevator, and I tried to think about where she’d be.
I checked the time and was surprised that it was already seven-thirty, and so, being a school night, she was probably at home. I wondered if she was still upset and hoped that I wasn’t worth enough to make her cry in front of her child.
With any luck, she’d be angry. Angry, I could handle. But seeing her in pain for something I’d done? I couldn’t fathom it.
I made it out to my car, and when I got inside, I wished I could back out of the parking lot and reverse time to restart my day. That was what I needed to design, the world’s first ever time machine. If I had one, the first moment I would change was when I snapped at Jessica. Instead, I would take her comfort and fall into her arms. I’d never had a mother who nurtured or comforted me, and the first time anyone tried to console me, to uplift me, I had lashed out like a snake, not caring what I struck as long it gave me my space.
I sped across town, driving along in a daze, with so much on my mind that I barely focused on the road. It was as if I’d gone on my own autopilot. But no matter what I did, I couldn’t stop wondering if she would turn me away just when I’d been blessed enough to have her trust me.
I wouldn’t blame her if she did. Who would want someone with that kind of temper in their son’s life?
As I pulled up at her house and parked, I looked up to the house and was both relieved and terrified that I saw lights on inside. Terrified because it had all come down to this, to seeing her for the first time after I’d been so cruel. I didn’t deserve her at all.
I took a deep breath as I knocked on the door, and a moment later, when I knocked on it again, I told myself that I would continue to knock. I wouldn’t stop until she talked to me.
But thankfully, she didn’t make me suffer, and when I heard her footsteps, the sound of the locks disengaging, the turn of the knob, my heart beat faster each time.
She met me with a blank expression, and that was much worse than any tears or furrowed brow could have been. “I’m sorry.” I knew it better be the first words out of my mouth because if she sent me away, at least I’d have said that much.
She stepped aside to let me in. “Be quiet. Cam’s sleeping.” She wore a long, white bathrobe and no makeup, and even though her hair was still damp, she looked like a goddess. I looked into her eyes and ached inside.
I reached out to touch her, but she pulled back, and I knew better. “Careful,” she said. “Someone might accuse you of slumming.”
“I didn’t say those things as a dig to you, Jessica. I was angry and terrified. My whole life had been invaded, my things taken, broken, treated like they were nothing. I’ve been nothing before. I promised myself that I would never go back to that.”
She fidgeted with her robe and glared up at me. “Because being poor is so beneath you?”
“No. Believe me, I’m way beneath you. I didn’t grow up in a neighborhood as good as this one. I didn’t have this nice of a house or drive a fancy car. I had a used Ford that I worked my ass off for. And I lived in it. For four years.”
My voice broke. “It was the hardest, scariest time of my life. And that’s saying a lot, since I came from an abusive home. You see, I didn’t think I deserved any better. Tanner used to get so pissed off that I worked so hard at school, yet I didn’t even know what I wanted to do with my life. I didn’t think I was worth much, especially not enough to truly have anything. And then one night, some punk ass who I grew up with, he came with his friends and tried to take what little I had.” I took a deep breath. “They beat me up so badly, that I barely made it to Tanner’s. Hell, I still don’t know how I drove out to his place. I had two broken ribs, a sprained wrist, and so many cuts and bruises that I couldn’t count them.
“I made up my mind that night that I wasn’t going to sit around and take that kind of shit anymore. That I wasn’t getting stuck there, and I wasn’t going to let them take anything from me.”
Her expression softened a bit. “You didn’t have to lash out at me.”
“You’re right. I shouldn’t have, and I’m sorry I did. There’s no excuse, and all I can do is promise that I’ll never do anything like that again. If you’ll give me another chance.” I looked at her with pleading eyes and hoped that she understood me enough now to see that I was sincere.
When she didn’t say a word, I knew I had to tell her how I truly felt. I was terrified that she would push me away, that she wouldn’t want us to be together again after seeing the worst side of me. “I love you, Jessica. Please forgive me.”
Her eyes grew wide, and she stepped closer, throwing her arms around me. I kissed her hard and deep, my chest burning as my eyes welled up, and suddenly, it didn’t matter about my things. It didn’t matter that they had come and destroyed my plane. All that mattered was her.
Soon, our bodies came together, and then she undid my buttons on my shirt and peeled the fabric away from my shoulders. Her hands slipped down, and her cool fingers traced the lines of my abs before going lower.
“We have to be quiet,” she said as she took my hand and led me to her bedroom. By the time she shut the door and locked it and we made it to the bed, I had my pants unbuttoned and she had untied her robe.
She turned and dropped her robe to reveal her glorious body. Her nipples tightened in the cool air, and my eyes lingered down as I pulled my shirt the rest of the way off and then dropped my pants.
She moved closer, and while one hand caressed my cheek, the other found its way down to stroke the length of my erection. “I’ve missed you.” Her eyes squeezed tight, and a single tear fell to her cheek.
I wiped it away and sank inside, knowing I’d truly hurt her. Never again. “I’ve missed you too, beautiful.”
Though her cheeks had flushed and her eyes were glassy with tears, she looked radiant. I didn’t know how I’d gotten so lucky to have her as part of my life. She moved against me, and I walked us both back against the bed.
She hadn’t told me she loved me back, and even though I wanted to hear it more than anything, I understood I needed to give her time. Besides, it would mean so much more to me when and if she did, and for the moment, all I wanted to hear was my name on her lips. I laid her down and positioned myself over her. Then I kissed her, letting my hands and lips explore her body as she moaned and ran her fingers through my hair.
How I’d ever refused her gentle touch only proved how angry I’d been, and I vowed then and there that she would never see me that way again.
I licked around her tight nipple, then pinched it in my lips and gave it a hard tug, which made her back arch up from the bed. I made sure to give the other the same treatment and then kissed my way down to her navel before biting her hipbones. She had amazing hips, and I loved the soft curves and the gentle sway of them when she walked. I slid my hands down, and she hitched up her legs and brought them around my shoulders as I kissed her inner thighs.
“Please,” she said, already begging. And I knew exactly what she wanted. I kissed my way to her center and dragged my tongue across her clit, which caused her to whimper with pleasure so loudly that she covered her mouth.
“Shh,” I reminded. “Be a good girl, and try not to make a sound.” I looked deep into her eyes. “I’ve hurt you today, and now I want to make it all better.”
Chapter 30
Jessica
When I left work upset that morning, I had no idea if I’d ever get to hold him again. The feeling was empty and terrifying. And while I hoped that we could at least come out as friends in the end, to hear him tell me he loved me was more than I ever expe
cted.
If the pleasure he’d given me just in the past five minutes was any indication of how sorry he was, then I had no choice but to forgive him.
His fingers were deep inside of me, his tongue doing a magic dance across my most sensitive parts. It had me writhing beneath him and panting loudly. Not being able to make noise was strangely intensifying, and it only heightened my pleasure.
I hadn’t brought anyone into my life in such a way that it could impact Cam so greatly, but I finally felt confident that Cole was there to stay. It made me want to give into him even more, to experience things I hadn’t in so long.
He hitched me forward, bringing me closer to his feast as he tilted me upward to rim my tight ass. It was certainly something that I hadn’t experienced in a while, but I trusted him completely.
His tongue moved back to my folds, and then suddenly, the pleasure was so intense from his ministrations that I felt my release overcoming me.
“That’s my girl. It feels good, doesn’t it? When I touch this spot?” He pushed his finger in just the right place, and it felt as if my entire body was alert with pleasure.
“Yes, please, don’t ever stop.” I closed my eyes and let the ecstasy consume me, and once my orgasm reached its peak, I stilled, my toes curling as I pinched my eyes shut tight.
“You’re so wet. That felt good, didn’t it?” He smiled up at me, and I couldn’t stand it any longer. As good as the pleasure was, so was my longing to hold him while he lay inside me. I reached down and grabbed him by the shoulders to coax him forward.
“I want you closer.”
He rested over me, leaning on one elbow as his hand roamed my body. “There’s only one way to get closer,” he said, brushing his damp fingers across my clit.
“Then be inside of me.” I whispered the words into his ear, and his eyes lit with a devilish grin as he moved his hand to his cock, which he positioned against me. His thick, broad head ran up between my folds, and he parted me, pushing forward to tease its entrance.
“Is this what you want?” he asked with a low, husky voice.
“Yes, please.” I closed my eyes and nudged my hips forward, wanting him deeper.
He moved forward, his cock finally beginning to spread me, inching so slowly that the anticipation was killing me. I tried to nudge closer still, and when my voice gave a soft grunt, he chuckled.
“Greedy little lady,” he said in a playfully scolding voice. “I like it. I should just roll over and let you have your way with me. Let you use me until your heart’s content. Would you like that?” He laughed when I gave him my best sly smile.
Before I could say a word, he pushed forward, his hips spreading mine farther as he thrust. He worked his hips up and down, slowly fucking me deeper and deeper until he was completely a part of me. Then he suddenly brought his arm around my waist, and before I knew it, he had rolled us over and my legs were falling astride him, his base stretching me even wider.
“Now you can be as greedy as you want.” He sat up and gripped my ass, then lifted me up and down on his cock. “Ride me, baby. Do whatever you want with me. And don’t bother being gentle.”
I bounced in his lap, riding him steadily until the pleasure intensified so much that I gripped his shoulders and ground against him. I felt my walls clench, and soon, another release dawned, taking all control.
I moved faster, milking his cock with each bounce as our bodies slapped wildly against one another. His fingers gripped into my ass, holding me down as I felt his cock erupt inside of me. The thick ropes of heat soaked me to my core.
It was that kind of reckless abandon that had gotten us into this mess, and I realized that our make-up sex might not have happened if I’d told him about the baby first.
His lips were on mine before I could find my words, and it gave me time to think about what I should say. He needed to know.
I was just so scared, though. So scared that when his lips left mine, and he looked up at me with his handsome grin, that I couldn’t find the words.
But he could find his. “I love you.”
“Do you? I mean, like real, unconditional love?” I needed to know that he would love me no matter what, no matter the situation. I needed to know that when I told him about the baby, he wasn’t going to blow up and leave me.
He met my eyes directly. “Of course, I do. No matter what.” He took my hand and put it to his lips. “I want us to see where this goes, Jessica. We’re more alike than you’ve ever known. I really feel like you were made for me. You are everything I’ve ever wanted.”
I searched his eyes as mine filled with tears. “I really hope you continue to feel that way.” Everything was so perfect that it couldn’t be real. And if it was, it couldn’t last, could it?
He rose up and settled me into his lap. “Why would you say that? Of course, I will. What’s wrong?”
I placed my hand on his cheek. “Don’t be mad.”
His eyes narrowed. “Why would I be? Have you done something to make me mad?”
“Maybe. Not that I did it on purpose. It’s nothing like that.”
He continued to look at me as if trying to decide if I was worth the trouble. “I think you better tell me before my imagination is much worse than the news. If you’ve been with someone else—”
“No!” I shook my head. “That’s not it. I’ve only been with you.”
“Good,” he said as he breathed a sigh of relief. “Then what could it be that would make me angry?”
“I’m pregnant.” I hadn’t expected the words to fall so flat from my lips, and I truly hadn’t expected him to stare at me so blankly.
It was awkwardly silent for a moment. “What?”
“I’m pregnant, Cole. I found out Saturday.”
He kept that damned blank expression and bit his lip. “That’s what I thought you said. Pregnant.” He seemed to be trying the word on for size, so I thought it best to give him a little time for it to sink in. That word was a lot heavier than most; it took a lot longer to swallow.
“I wanted to tell you right away, but I was freaking out, so I needed a little time. I’m sorry. I should have called you right away. I just didn’t know how you’d feel about it.” I tried to read his expression that hadn’t changed. Was he in shock? “I still can’t tell how you feel, by the way.”
“I’m sorry.” A smile finally dawned on his face. “I guess I was just so shocked by it all. I mean, it’s not something I ever thought I’d hear.”
“I know it’s not the right time, and I know you probably don’t want children right now with all that’s going wrong, but I didn’t plan for this to happen. I am on the pill, but I got things messed up a few weeks ago, but I thought I got them back on track.”
He brought his lips down on mine and held me a little tighter. Then he pulled away and looked into my eyes. “It’s okay. I’m not disappointed, and as for the timing, it’s nice to know something good can still happen to me.”
“Something good?” I wanted to make sure that I had heard him right. It all seemed too good to be true.
“Something wonderful. We get to have a baby. That’s more than I ever thought I’d have in life.”
“How is that possible? You can have the whole world if you want it.” His money assured that.
“Money comes and goes, but a baby, our baby? That’s a miracle.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “I was so scared you’d be angry with me. That you wouldn’t want to be a father.”
“I’m already a father, I suppose.” He reached down and rested his hand on my tummy. “Wait, you haven’t told Cam, have you?”
“No, of course not. I thought that we’d tell him together.” I had hoped that he would want to be with me when I told him.
“I think that’s a good idea. I want to do this right, baby. I want to make sure you and the baby have anything and everything you need, and that goes for Cam too.”
“Thank you.”
“No need to thank me. You’re my g
irl, and we’re going to have a family.”
I had wondered how he’d feel about being a father figure to Cam. He wasn’t obligated to love him or take care of him, but if he wanted to be in my life, he’d be expected to treat my son no differently from his own. “So, you want to be a father to both of my children?”
He searched my eyes and almost looked offended. “Of course. I already care about him. He’s a great kid, and I will be honored to be in his life.” Tears sprung to my eyes as he continued. “Hey, no more crying. I think I’ve made you cry enough already.”
“I’m just so happy,” I said, wiping my eyes. “I want us all to be together.”
He pulled me closer, and I rested my head on his shoulder as he gave my forehead a kiss. “Hey, we will be, okay? I’m not going anywhere, Jessica. We don’t have to figure everything out right now, but I promise you, we will be a family.”
I brought my hand behind his neck and pulled him to me for a nice, long kiss. This was the man I loved. Even though I didn’t think I’d ever love again, that my heart had been too broken by death to ever be mended again, he’d come along and proven me wrong. “I love you.”
A smile spread across his cheeks and lit his eyes, and soon, we were kissing again, our bodies moving together until I shifted in his lap to straddle him again. His eyes burned on mine with such intensity that it didn’t take me long to orgasm. And when I did, he held me close and whispered in my ear, “My sweet girl.”
Then in one swift motion, he lifted me up, and before I knew it, I landed on my back, my thighs spread wider as he thrust inside of me harder than before. It was amazing.
I lay back and closed my eyes, my hips rolling forward as we moved in a sensual rhythm of passion like never before.
And when my release was about to take me over the edge, a breathy voice escaped me. “I’m so close.”
“Come with me, Jessica.” He angled my hips upward and pounded, and when I cried out in ecstasy, I had no regard for quiet.
He thrust deep, his cock swelling inside of me as he filled me up.
Made for Me Page 19
