It worked almost instantly. All resistance seeped out of Seth. He seemed to forget what he was doing for a moment. Then he blinked and drew in a long, slow breath. “You’re right,” he said. “You’re right.”
“I’ll be here. I’m not going to leave you alone.” I drew Seth into a hug, meaning to comfort him.
Seth’s arms tightened around my back, and he buried his face in my hair. I could feel his breath against my neck. I pulled back quickly. Seth released me, but his eyes lingered on my face. The look he gave me was almost guilty. Awareness hit me in the stomach. Cassie had seen more than I’d been willing to acknowledge. Seth had feelings for me.
“Seth,” I started.
“I think I’ll put my tea in the microwave,” he interrupted. “Can I warm yours up, too?”
Seth wouldn’t meet my eyes. “Sure,” I said. Now was not the time to have this conversation. Seth pulled our cups off the table and retreated into the kitchen. I folded my arms around myself, thinking back over our time together. If I’d given him any reason to hope I might return his feelings, it was unintentional.
I heard the door open in the foyer.
“Braedyn?” Dad called.
“In here,” I said.
Dad and Lucas entered. Lucas looked haggard. He must have just returned from the hunt for the Thrall. He rubbed his hands together, blowing over them.
“Where’s Seth?” Dad asked.
We heard the microwave beep from the kitchen. A few seconds later, Seth returned with two steaming mugs of tea. He saw Dad and set the cups down, eager for any news.
“Let’s get comfortable,” Dad said. “I’ll fill everyone in, but I think it’s going to be a long night.” Dad led Seth into the living room. I picked my cup of tea up and handed it to Lucas. Our hands brushed.
“Your fingers are like ice,” I murmured. He took the tea gratefully, wrapping his hands around it. “You didn’t find her.” It wasn’t a question. I could see the truth in his face. In confirmation, he shook his head no.
“Hale called off the hunt,” he said quietly.
I nodded. “Finding Angela is more important right now.”
We headed into the living room to wait with Dad and Seth. Dad filled us in. The Guard had set out in teams to search for Seth’s mom anywhere it made sense for her to go. Once again, we were left waiting.
“You’re going to stay with us until we find her,” Dad told Seth. I glanced at Dad, surprised. He saw my look and inclined his head toward the guest room. “We’ve got space, and I’d rather have you somewhere safe until we know more.”
“What if we can’t find her?” Seth asked.
“Now’s not the time for those kinds of questions,” Dad said, offering Seth a smile full of confidence. “There are still plenty of explanations for her disappearance. With any luck, she’ll turn up tomorrow before sunrise.”
But the sun came up, and Angela Linwood was still nowhere to be found. After a full night of searching, Hale made the decision to call the Guard in. Half of the team were sent to bed to get what sleep they could while the other half continued the search. They’d take six hour shifts until Angela was found.
Dad left us to join the search a little after dawn.
Lucas and I stayed home from school with Seth that day. There was no way he’d be able to sit through a whole day of classes while his mom was missing, and we didn’t want to abandon him. As the sun climbed in the east, our thoughts turned to the possible reasons behind her disappearance.
“What do you think your mom discovered?” Lucas asked.
“It had to be something about the ritual,” Seth answered. “It’s the only thing she’s been able to talk about for weeks.”
“Something about the vessel?” I asked.
“I don’t think so.” Seth’s expression turned thoughtful. “I think she would have said.”
“Do you know what she was looking at before she left?”
“I don’t know,” Seth said, miserable. “Some book. She had it at home. But I don’t know if she took it with her when she left.” He looked up, stricken. “I didn’t think to check her office.”
“It wasn’t your responsibility,” Lucas said.
“I didn’t want to mess with her stuff,” Seth explained, as though we were judging him. “She hates it when people mess with her stuff.” His voice wavered, and I was afraid he was on the verge of losing it again. “But—if she doesn’t come back?”
I stood. The guys looked at me, startled by the sudden movement.
“I’m tired of waiting,” I said. It was true. The fear of the night had been tamped down by exhaustion.
“What choice do we have?” Lucas asked.
“I’m going to find her myself,” I said.
“You can’t leave,” Seth grabbed my hand. Lucas saw the movement and raised an eyebrow, but didn’t offer comment.
“Don’t worry,” I said, lowering myself to the rug. “I don’t have to go anywhere.”
If there was one thing exhaustion was good for, it was this. I slipped into the dream without any effort at all. My rose garden was exactly as I’d left it, the wall as solid and impenetrable as ever.
I knelt on the ground and placed my hand into dirt that felt pleasantly warm against my skin.
This time I had to will a hole down deeper, through the fortress surrounding my mind, before I could draw a pool of the infinite dream up into the dirt. Star-like dreams dusted across the inky expanse. When I concentrated on them, they began to move.
“Angela Linwood,” I called. I’d found Lucas once when he’d been awake. His dream had flickered dimly—his spirit had been more present in the physical world than the dream world—but I’d still been able to find him. As long as we breathe, we are tied to the shared dream. And so when I summoned Angela’s dream, I knew something was wrong.
Where her dream should have been, there was only a faint haze.
Confused, I closed my hand around it, willing myself into her mind.
Strong arms caught me from behind. I dropped the books I’d been carrying out of the college library. They fell, falling open like great, multi-winged butterflies. I felt a pang of horror. Some of these books had been printed before my grandparents had been born. But as I struggled to reach for them I felt a ripping sensation at my throat. The next breath came, wet and heavy. And suddenly I was stumbling to the ground. I stared at the dark red spots growing on the pages of my books. It took more than a second to realize it was my blood. More spots had fallen on the creased skin of my hands, and as I studied them I was surprised by how old they looked—
Old hands. Not my hands. Angela’s hands. I jerked back out of the haze, stumbling away from the pool of stars at my feet. No. No. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I needed answers.
“Karayan,” I said, willing her to hear me. I sensed her attention turn toward me, then felt her choose to ignore me. “Please.” I pulled slightly on the thread of her awareness. The resistance grew. So I pulled harder.
Karayan appeared, gasping. She spun on me, eyes crackling with fury. “So that’s how it’s going to be? You shove me out when you don’t like what I have to say, then yank me back when you need something—no matter whether or not I want to come?”
“Karayan.” My voice was faint.
“No,” she said. “I’m not your little Barbie doll, Braedyn. And I don’t want to be involved. One of the Three is coming back, hunting the incubus. You don’t want to be anywhere near this thing when it happens, trust me.”
Shock still coursed through my body, but her words penetrated into my mind, shedding a ray of hope. “Sansenoy?” I asked. What if he was coming back because we were close? What if he anticipated our success, knew we’d be able to lock the seal, and he was preparing to grant the promise he’d made to me last year?
Karayan shook her head. “It’s sick that you find this so comforting,” she said. “You do realize they are our sworn enemies, and I mean that literally. As in, they swore an actual, literal o
ath to stamp us out.”
I turned back to the faint haze that should have been Angela Linwood’s dream.
“So that’s it? Now I get the silent treatment?” Karayan crossed her arms, still irked. Then she saw the haze, still hovering above the pool of stars. “Oh.”
I looked at her, but I already knew what she was going to say. “She’s gone, isn’t she?”
Karayan nodded. “Dream energy takes a while to dissipate after—” she touched the haze, then winced, pulling her hand back. “A hard death.” She glanced at me. “Who was she?”
“A friend.” I looked down at my hands, summoning the strength to tell Seth his mother was dead.
I opened my eyes. Lucas and Seth were watching my face, hungry for news.
I sat up, then turned toward them with a heavy heart. They saw the truth in my eyes before I gathered the courage to speak.
“No...” Seth whispered.
“Seth.” I ached for him. “I’m so sorry.”
Seth fled to the back room.
Lucas stood. “I’ll go tell Hale.”
“Tell him to have the Guard search the college campus for her body,” I said.
Lucas gave me a solemn, searching look. Then he walked to the foyer, opened the front door, and left. He returned a few minutes later. We sat together on the couch, afraid to touch, listening to the harsh, wracking grief that poured from Seth in the back room.
30 minutes later, at 10:45 in the morning, Dad called with news. I’d been right. They’d found her body. Angela Linwood had been murdered.
They didn’t return until close to nine o’clock that night. The police had questions. The coroner needed to make an identification. There were forms upon forms that needed to be filled out. Rather than put Seth through the pain of seeing his mother’s body, Dad and Gretchen had identified it.
When they walked through the front door that night, I could see the toll the day had taken on them both. Wordlessly, Gretchen held her arms out to Lucas. He walked to her and they held each other fiercely. I turned away, giving them their privacy.
Dad pulled me into a hug and I gripped him tight.
“I would die if anything happened to you,” I said.
“No, you wouldn’t,” he said sharply. I pulled back to look into his face, startled by the vehemence behind his words. Dad brushed a loose strand of my hair back behind one ear. “I love you. I know how strong you are. If anything ever happened to me, I know you’d do the right thing.”
“Dad?”
“Angela died fighting for a worthwhile cause,” he said softly. “That’s more than most people can say. The best way to honor her—to honor any of our fallen—is to carry on the fight.”
I let him draw me back into another hug, but the room seemed to spin around me. He didn’t have to say it for me to know.
Dad believed this war would kill him.
Chapter 11
The day dawned bright and clear. Sunlight betrayed the grief that filled our house, reminding us that the world outside marched on cheerfully, untouched by our suffering.
I found Seth sitting on the living room couch, wrapped in the blanket from the guest bed. Dark bags circled his eyes, which were swollen from crying. The exhaustion of the night had finally caught him in its clutches. Seth sat still, numb.
He didn’t look up when I entered. Something sizzled in the kitchen, and a moment later I caught the faint whiff of butter and eggs. Instead of joining Dad while he made breakfast, I sat on the couch next to Seth.
There was nothing to say. Nothing that would make this easier for him. But I could sit here and offer whatever comfort my company might bring him.
“I can’t believe she’s gone,” Seth said. He didn’t move, didn’t look at me. But the words unleashed another flood of grief. Seth tipped his head forward, fighting to contain the raw emotion coursing through his body. Tentatively, I reached out and clasped his hand.
Seth threaded his fingers around mine in response. His hand was warm and strong. His shoulders shook. I couldn’t just sit there, watching. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around him. I held him helplessly, knowing nothing I could do would change the fact that his mom wasn’t coming back. He straightened, turning to face me. The look he gave me was so piercing, so intimate, that I froze. Being this close to him, feeling his warmth, seeing his vulnerability—something stirred within me. The Lilitu storm.
Seth’s eyes tracked me, waiting. I found myself staring at him, noticing really for the first time the powerful lines of his jaw, the perfect symmetry of his face. The storm within me gathered strength, and I found myself wondering what it would feel like to kiss him.
“Braedyn,” Seth started. He brushed the fingers of his free hand along my arm. I jerked back, breathless.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. Guilt tore through me. Seth was in unimaginable pain—but I couldn’t be what he needed. Not the way he needed. “I—I should call Lucas.”
“Lucas.” Bitterness edged into Seth’s voice. “Lucas tried to kill you when he found out what you were.”
I stared, stung. “How did you—?”
“But when I found out—” Seth struggled to keep his voice steady. His blue eyes held mine, full of conviction. “I knew you were still you.”
“I—I know, Seth.” I studied my hands.
“He doesn’t appreciate you. Not the way I could. Not the way I do.”
“Things with Lucas—they’re complicated.” I met Seth’s eyes, trying to make him understand. “But what we have—”
Seth stood, turning away. But I saw the expression of pain that crossed his face. “Okay. I get it.”
“I’m sorry. If things were different—”
“I’ve got bigger problems right now,” Seth snapped. But then he glanced at me, vulnerable and scared. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to—” He swallowed. “That came out wrong.”
“It’s okay.” I stood, folding my arms around myself. “No offense taken.”
“I just can’t get it out of my mind that Mom was killed for something she found out.” He turned to me, pleading for understanding. “I have to know what it was.”
“It won’t change anything,” I said softly.
“If she died discovering something important?” Seth’s eyes shone with tears.
“She wouldn’t want you to put yourself in danger.”
“You didn’t know my mom.” Seth’s hands balled into fists. “If she found something important, she wouldn’t want it to be lost just because she died.”
“You can’t know what—” I started. But he glanced at me with such pain I stopped.
“Please,” he whispered. “Please help me.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but instead I sighed. “How?”
Seth’s eyes lit with hope. “All her research should be at home. Maybe, if we could just sit down with it for a few hours.”
“Breakfast is ready, kids.” Dad entered from the foyer. He looked surprised when he saw me. “You’re dressed for school? I thought you’d want to stay home.” His eyes drifted toward Seth, sitting on the couch next to me.
“Oh.” I glanced at Seth, feeling like an idiot. “I’m so sorry. Of course. If you want me to stay home with you—”
“No,” Seth said. “You go. I’d rather be alone right now.”
Dad didn’t look happy about this. “You’re sure about that?”
“I’m sure.” Seth rubbed at his eyes, as though he were on the verge of tears again. Dad looked away, giving Seth his privacy.
“Okay. But if you need anything, you call one of us, deal?”
“Yeah, okay.”
When Dad vanished back into the kitchen I turned to Seth.
“It has to be today,” Seth whispered. “Please. Sneak out after first period and come get me.” When I didn’t respond right away, he grabbed my arm. “Braedyn, I’m begging you. Help me.”
“Okay.”
“Thank you.” Seth let out a long breath, then stood and headed into the k
itchen. I followed him, and we sat at the kitchen island. Dad had laid out two plates of eggs, toast, and bacon. My stomach growled as soon as I saw the food, but Seth only stared at his plate.
Dad noticed, and put a hand on Seth’s shoulder. “You’ll always have a place with the Guard,” he said. “Don’t forget that.”
Seth nodded.
Dad pulled me aside. “Be there for Seth today?”
I nodded. If Dad sensed my unease, he must have chalked it up to the events of the previous night. If he’d known what we planned, he’d never have let us out of his sight.
Lucas was waiting by my car when I emerged into the bright morning. He straightened when he saw me, shifting his weight uncomfortably.
“Hey,” he offered.
“Hey.”
“I didn’t know if you guys were going to school today or not.”
“Seth wants to be alone, and as for me,” I said, glancing at the house behind us, “I need a change of scenery.”
“Yeah. Right.” Lucas’s eyes fell to the dark stain on my front porch. I knew he was reliving the last 24 hours in his mind. “I think we both do.”
I unlocked the car. Lucas opened the front passenger door, but didn’t get in right away.
“How’s he doing?” Lucas asked me.
“About how you probably expect. His mother’s dead. He’s sad. And angry.”
Lucas nodded. “I wish I didn’t know how that felt—but I get it.” I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I stopped myself. I could see his thoughts turning inward, back to the night of Eric’s death.
“He wants to know why she died.”
“Yeah.”
“He wants,” I glanced back at my house before continuing, “he wants to go back to his house. To see what he can find in Angela’s research.”
Lucas shook his head. “He’s upset. He’s not thinking clearly.”
“But—” I took a deep breath. “What if there is something there?”
“Hale would never let him go back there,” Lucas said. “It’d be so stupid. If the incubus did kill Angela for her research, Seth would just be painting a target on his back.”
Incubus (The Daughters Of Lilith) Page 16
