by Ami Snow
He pulled back gasping and stared at her as if he’d never seen her before. She was beautiful. So far from the type of women he was normally attracted to. She was real and he didn’t want to fuck her. He wanted her—period. The thought froze him and he let go of her so swift she nearly fell to the floor. He was quick to balance her, but she looked at him with an expression he couldn’t decipher.
“What’s wrong?” she asked and shifted nervously.
Maybe she wasn’t experienced. “Have you ever been with a man before?”
“No,” she said. Her tone was nervous, but she stood tall and held her head up high eyeing him as if she dared him to laugh.
He eyes widened and he coughed. “You’re a virgin?” Nothing could have surprised him more, and the shock wasn’t hidden.
“Yes,” she hissed and planted her hand on her hip. “Why is everyone surprised by that?”
He coughed again and smirked. “Most people don’t wait anymore. Is it for religious purposes?”
“Nope, my own choice, no man has been worth it.”
Ouch. He felt bad for any man she’d ever dated. “Have you had many relationships?”
“No, I always focused on my education, and now I’m building my career.”
It all made sense. Why he wanted her so badly. She was innocent and part of him must have sensed it, but she was off limits. Now that he knew she’d never been touched by a man, it would be easy to keep his hands to himself. “Good for you,” he mumbled, not feeling very confident about staying away from her.
Virgin or not she was temptation that would take every ounce of control he had to ignore. Normally it wouldn’t have mattered how tempting she was. He didn’t do virgins. He liked to fuck and didn’t care to take the time needed to ease into a virgin body.
“I know,” she replied dead tone. “Now, what do you think of what I’ve done?”
He nodded not taking his eyes from her. She was an enigma and right now he wished he’d stayed away. His erection hadn’t gone away since the word virgin left those beautiful lips. He shook his head. “It’s great. I’m going to go—to bed.” He spun around leaving her standing in the living room looking confused and hot as hell. The alcohol from the shots was gone, and he needed to get away from her before he did something stupid, like offer to take her innocence.
Chapter 5
The next morning I woke up and went to get breakfast. I didn’t feel like eating at the hotel, and I really wanted to be alone. It had been a long and sleepless night as I fought my inner thoughts. I’d never been more attracted to a man than I was to Lucas, and he obviously wanted me. A part of me wondered why I’d always held my virginity so close. I was beginning to think it was from fear that I’d never find someone worthy of my love, and I really did want to be with only one man, but what if that wasn’t possible? What if the person I was meant to give myself over to wasn’t the man I was going to marry? What if I would be like my mother—alone for the rest of my life?
It was something I had contemplated a lot since I began working for Lucas and those very thoughts filled my head all night. The feel of Lucas’ lips on mine didn’t help matters any. He was a temptation I found myself caving into. He made me want things—things I never really cared about. Now I couldn’t get the images of him out of my mind.
I knew he would be able to pleasure me. The kiss alone showed me he had plenty of experience. I wanted him, but would it be worth losing my job over? That would be crossing a line that couldn’t be uncrossed. The money was great, but was it worth losing out on an experience I’d never have the opportunity to experience again? I didn’t think so, not really. My life was already filled with regrets. I didn’t want this to be another one.
I opened the door quietly and set the breakfast on the table but picked up his coffee before I went to his door. Taking a deep breath I knocked waiting for his response.
He grumbled something and I opened the door assuming he’d told me to come in, but then I froze. Lucas lay on the bed with nothing but the light sheet covering his erection. His eyes were shut and his hands gripped the sheet. He looked stressed even in sleep.
Setting the coffee down on the small table I slipped my shoes off and tiptoed to his bed. I had no idea what I was doing, but at the moment I didn’t care. I’d never followed any of my desires. Everything I did was always for other people. This time I was doing something for me.
I sat on the edge of the bed and ran my finger down his bare chest. He had a small amount of hair and I found it didn’t bother me like I always thought it would. There was a tattoo of a black and white rose I itched to trace. I ran my finger over it and felt his heart jump at my touch.
His eyes shot open and he struggled to focus on me, but when he realized I was in his room he shot up with wide eyes.
“Is something wrong?” he asked.
I shook my head scooting closer. I’d never done this before and I was nervous as hell. How was I supposed to seduce a man when I’d never been with one before?
He watched me leery. I ran my finger down his chest and watched it disappear beneath the sheet covering him. He gasped when I wrapped my small hand around him. He jerked and opened his mouth as if he was going to say something only to shut it and his eyes when I slid my hand up and squeezed his erection.
“What are you doing?” he asked and licked his lips before putting his hand over mine stopping the movement.
I didn’t know how to explain it, but sometime between his kiss and this morning I threw caution to the wind. “I don’t know,” I whispered.
He gazed at me and sighed pulling my hand from him. “I didn’t ask you on this trip for this. I hope you know that.”
“I know you don’t even like me.”
He laughed. “I wish you wouldn’t say that.”
“Why, it’s true.”
He shook his head. “Actually it’s not.”
Something in his eyes told me that he was struggling with his own inner malfunctions.
“But you want me?”
Lucas licked his lips and groaned. Clearly his little assistant decided she wanted him. He should be happy. She was willing, and he could get her out of his system and be done with his little obsession with her. She never left his thoughts, and it was annoying as hell. She knew good and well he wanted her. Hell, she felt it when she wrapped her tiny hand around his cock.
“Can’t you tell?” he asked and grabbed her hand and bringing it back to his hard on.
She blushed pulling back. “Don’t men always wake up hard?” She smiled. “I’m a virgin not stupid.”
He chuckled and leaned forward. If she was serious he was going to go with it. He’d deal with the consequences later—much later. His heart galloped in his chest and for the first time he wanted to take his time with a woman. He wouldn’t rush with her. He didn’t want to take the chance that it was the only time he’d touch her, and waste it. There was so much he imagined doing to her body. That was also something to think about later. For the life of him he didn’t understand what was so different about her.
She closed the distance and pressed her lips against his. Then she froze. He felt her body shake and he knew she was nervous as hell.
Pulling back he cupped her jaw. “Relax.” Brushing his lips across her he slid his hand behind her head and pulled her closer and pressed his lips harder over her mouth until she relaxed. She sighed and her lips parted allowing him access. He delved into her mouth kissing with a sensuality he hadn’t felt before. She moaned and moved closer to him. He wrapped his free arm around her waist and pulled her onto his lap.
She laughed and stopped their kiss. “I have no idea what I’m doing.” Smiling she said, “But I want to do it with you.”
Her admission stunned him. She’d already admitted to being a virgin because she hadn’t found anyone she thought was worthy of it, but now she was telling him she wanted him. It shouldn’t have thrilled him as much as it did, but he found himself really smiling for the first time an
d months.
“I’ll make it good for you, I promise Neva.” And he would. No matter what, she wouldn’t regret giving him her innocence.
Chapter 6
I blushed because talking about it only made me more nervous, but when he told me he’d make it good I had no doubt he would, at least the best a first time could be. “I trust you.” And I found I did. For whatever reason my heart sang for him, and even knowing he wasn’t mine to keep, I’d have to enjoy him for now. I had three weeks with him before we returned to normal life—and then I’d give him up.
I stood from the bed and took my clothes off standing before him completely bare. He stared at me as if he’d never seen a woman before, and the heat in his eyes let me know that he liked what he saw.
“Dammit, you’re gorgeous.”
I didn’t know what to say so I stood waiting for him. I shook and my body was slick with sweat. There was a flutter in my stomach and I my inner muscles clenched in need. I’d never be sexually intimate with anyone, and I had never taken care of myself either, but I understood the jest of it all. I’d kissed one guy and the second he groped me I was done. So now I stood before this man and felt insignificant in his eyes.
I lowered my eyes to the floor and nibbled my lip. He seemed to sense my nerves and stood up from the bed in front of me. The sheet fell to the floor and his erection stood proud before me. It was big, or so it looked to me.
“Don’t worry sweetheart. It will be okay. Please trust me.”
I looked at him then and nodded. “I guess I’m scared after all,” I said and laughed.
“Come here.” He pulled against him and the feel of his naked body on mine was amazing. The feel of his skin against my own brought my body to life. Each move sent an electrifying sensation all the way down.
He kissed me and spun me around. The backs of my legs bumped the bed, and I fell back on the bed breaking our kiss.
“Lay down,” he said.
I moved on the bed further and lay back against the pillows. He watched every move I made with glazed over eyes. His lust was palpable. I shivered out of excitement. My heart raced.
Lucas watched me for a few seconds before crawling on the bed lying next to me. His erection rubbed against my thigh and I shuddered. I didn’t want to take my time or wait too long. This was long over do, but he seemed to have other plans.
Kissing my shoulder he cupped my breast and rubbed his thumb over my nipple. It hardened and goosebumps covered my body. He moved to the other breast giving it the same attention, and I gasped when his lips covered my nipple as he sucked it into his mouth. His free hand slid down my body until his fingers glided over my most intimate area. He pulled back from my nipple and smiled.
“Spread your legs Neva,” he said and the way he said my name booked no argument.
I spread them and his finger slid down into my heat. I moaned and tensed.
“Relax.”
I closed my eyes as he rubbed a finger over me in circles. My hips bucked and his other hand flattened over my abdomen holding my lower body down. Before I knew what was happening he slid a finger inside of me. I cried out from both pleasure and pain, but he wasn’t done He worked my opening and added another finger. He was preparing me. I loosened my muscles when his touch no longer hurt. In fact it triggered something. My body shook and I tried to lift my hips reaching for something. I was so close to the edge I could taste it, but he backed off as soon as he realized.
“Not yet, sweetheart.”
I opened my eyes and went to glare but then I saw his face. It was full of concentration and his licked his lips. I kissed him and spread my legs further. He rubbed over my clit harder and faster. My body jerked and I trembled. He licked inside my mouth and devoured me. The kiss was deep and I pulled away breathing heavily. My eyes clouded over in lust, and for the first time I was going to find out what it was like to have an orgasm. He flicked me and I shattered. I cried out and he slammed his mouth over mine swallowing my sobs as I climaxed. My body shook but he didn’t stop. He kept rubbing his finger over me. I couldn’t take it anymore I was too sensitive.
I yanked my mouth from his. “Please stop, it’s too much.”
He nodded and sat up. He picked up his wallet and pulled out a condom. I was glad he thought of it, because I didn’t surprisingly. He tore the package opened with his teeth and rolled it over his erection. I reached out to touch him and he grabbed my hand and shook his head.
“No, this is about you.” He tugged my hand and I moved in the center of the bed before he rolled on top of me, hovering over my body. “Are you sure you want this. We can stop anytime you want.”
I could tell he meant it, but it looked like it killed him to say it. I cupped his jaw and brought his mouth to mine and kissed him softly. “Thank you,” I whispered.
He kissed me again, and then I felt him. He pushed the tip inside and I gasped. Slow and steady he took his time and didn’t complain when my body squeezed around him. He kept his mouth on my and kissed me. His tongue explored every inch of my mouth and when he sucked my tongue in his mouth he also thrust the rest of the way in. I screamed into his mouth. Pain like I’d never felt before laced through me. I pulled my mouth from his gasping.
“Oh god, that fucking hurt.”
His eyes widened at my choice of words. “You okay now though?”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “I will be. Give me a minute.”
He kissed my nose. “Take as much time as you need.”
But I could see the pain in his eyes. He needed to move. I lifted my hips experimentally. It wasn’t back so I nodded.
“Slow.”
With a nod he did just that. Lucas made love to me until tears filled my eyes. I hoped I hadn’t made a horrible mistake and wondered if I would ever be able to look at him the same again. The big bad boss made love to me like I was his queen.
Chapter 7
My eyes cracked open and the groaned. My phone buzzed on the nightstand but I didn’t have the energy to reach for it. Being with Lucas was amazing. He was sweet and very attentive. I could still feel his touch and shivered, but I knew it was only a onetime thing.
After he fell asleep I slipped from his room and went to my own. Giving into my desires was one thing, but sleeping next to him made it too personal—intimate, and I was already struggling to separate my feelings for him. I sighed rolled to the side. It was still early, but I knew I was up for the day. His presentations didn’t begin until much later so there was time to relax.
My phone buzzed again, and this time I answered.
“Hello,” I said.
I listened to the speaker on the phone and gasped. Tears filled my eyes and spilled in rapid release.
“No,” I said and wiped at my eyes. “I’ll be there as soon as possible.”
I hung up and I strode across the room and shoved all my clothes in my bag. I called the airport and scheduled a flight home. I was being punished, that was all there was to it. For caving into my desires I’d lost something more important than my innocence.
She’d always told me to wait, and finding the one man was more important than anything in the world. She didn’t wait and though she always promised she didn’t regret me, she regretted how easily she gave into her lust.
I could barely see through my tears and I wiped them away, but still I tasted salt from the drops as they slid down my cheeks. I lifted my bag and without a backward glance tiptoed out of the suite. I couldn’t talk to him right now, not when he was the reason why my whole world fell apart in one call. In reality I knew it wasn’t his fault, but at that moment I needed someone to blame other than myself. I already knew it was my fault.
I knew I shouldn’t have left, but she told me she was fine. My boss needed me, and she’d be all right. While I’d been breaking all of my rules she was dying. I couldn’t come back from that.
* * * *
Lucas slid his hand across the mattress feeling for Neva, but she wasn’t there. He ope
ned his eyes and looked at the clock. It was after two and he needed to get ready for his first presentation. Sitting up he yawned feeling more relaxed than he had in a long time.
He threw the sheet from his body and grinned as he got out of bed. She was perfect. He didn’t care that she wasn’t experienced, and if he really thought about it, the fact that he was the first to ever touch her made it all so much sweeter. She was smart and beautiful, and her body wrapped around him perfectly. He was already hard thinking about her beneath him again. “Work first, Neva later,” he mumbled.
He slipped on a pair of sweats and walked out of the room. The suite was quiet and he wondered what she was up to. He shook his head and opted to leave her be. She was probably sleeping.
He went into the living area and looked at her displays. They were amazing and yet simple; exactly what he wanted. He realized Helen hired her for a reason. She was perfect for him in every way. Not just as an assistant. Seemed his surrogate mother was taking it in her hands to get him to settle down.
He and Neva had a lot of things in common, but enough differences that things wouldn’t get dull. Lucas’ heart thudded in his chest and he scrubbed his hand down his face. “She’s perfect,” he whispered to the empty room.
There was no way he’d let her go now, not when he’d finally found a woman he was willing to change for. He wanted to be better for her. The thought of never touching her again made him growl. No Neva was his, and Lucas always got what he wanted.
He went to her closed door and knocked, but there was no answer. He opened the door and looked at her unmade bed. Stepping inside his body froze. Neva’s bags were gone. Other than the bed there was no sign that she had even been here at all. She’d left him and she didn’t even tell him. He glared at the empty room and stormed out slamming the door. He’d finally found the woman he wanted—and apparently she didn’t want him.
