by Ami Snow
“Well – I guess we'll find – oh,” whimpered Marissa, curling her fists as the quailing realization dawned on her, “Right. I don't know when I'm gonna see you again.”
Camden weaved his fingers through the spaces of her fingers, clutching tightly, beads of sweat from her clammy palms trickling down the cusp of his much larger hand. He reached into his pocket with his free hand, producing an untainted, spiked jewel-box seashell, about the size of a quarter, the pure, ivory white of the shell, magnificently reflecting against the stunning dahlia pinks of the sunset. Camden motioned for Marissa to open up her palms. She breathed gingerly through her lips, parted in soundless amazement as she zealously accepted it, holding up the rare seashell to her eye.
“It's beautiful. Thank you. Camden? I don't know how to ask so I'm just gonna go ahead –”
“I came so close to skipping out on this trip,” Camden cut her off, sensing her blossoming anxiety as her rouged cheeks flushed an even deeper red. He continued, sliding his thumbs over her hunched, terrified shoulders in soothing, spherical motions. “I think there's some cosmic, underlying reasoning for how everything played out, I don't know, I'm not really a man of science. I can't really explain it, I –”
“I know what you mean,” agreed Marissa softly, a lump thickening in her throat.
Camden flashed her a warm, encouraging smile, guiding her seashell-cupped hand to her ear, planting a kiss on her forehead. “I wanted you to have this – cause honestly, I can't tell you what's gonna happen, we're both mature, functioning adults and we both understand that. I don't know, at the very palpable risk of sounding like a complete dumb-ass, I wanted you to keep this, and I wanted you to remember something.”
“What?”
Camden sighed deeply, lifting up her chin. He tilted his head towards Marissa, his lips pressing against her quivering pair lightly. He whispered, “We're always gonna have this weekend – no matter what, and that's something that no one can ever take from us.” He raked his fingers through the feathery tips of her loose, inky locks, “We're gonna be okay, you and I. You just gotta keep faith, Marissa.”
Marissa nodded, squeezing her eyes shut, basking in the sweet warmth of the mollifying orchestra of billowing waves crashing inside her ear. She finally put the seashell down to her side, the blunt throngs of the shell faintly prodding at the flesh of her palms. Her lips curved in an expressive, meaningful smile, the warmth of a calming wave of understanding and acceptance washing over her.
Marissa repeated Camden's words, exhaling in relief. For the first time in her life, the words rang true – “We're gonna be okay. I'm gonna be okay.”
THE END
Enjoying My Dad’s Best Friend
TABOO ROMANCE
By: Amanda Bolton
Enjoying My Dad’s Best Friend
Alice could feel a pain ripping through her heart, as his words sank in. He didn’t want to be with her anymore, she wasn’t good enough for him and there was nothing she could do about it. She looked at him, he was still the man she loved, but there was something about him, something, which made Alice feel, as though, she was looking at a stranger. It was the look in his eyes, maybe, as they stared at her coldly. The ice from the stare sank into Alice’s skin and sent a shiver down her spine.
Her brain was filled with a mist of confusion, which seemed to distort her thoughts. She just couldn’t understand what had gone wrong. She couldn’t understand what had changed. “Rob, please don’t do this.” She said after a moment. She didn’t know what else to say. She wanted to fight, to hold onto the relationship, which she felt like she so desperately needed.
“Alice it’s over.” Rob said without a trace of emotion in his voice.
Alice nodded. There was nothing she could say or do to change his mind. She knew that and whilst she wanted to fight, she was a smart enough girl to know that sometimes, you have to admit defeat. “Okay, well, I’m going to go.” Alice said, as she tried to hide the tremble in her voice. She knew she was about to fall apart. She could feel hot, salty tears burning her eyes and she wasn’t going to let him see them fall. She wasn’t going to give him that satisfaction.
She didn’t wait for Rob to say goodbye, she just quickly turned around and walked out of the café, which they had been sat in. When she pulled open the door and walked outside, the cool summer’s wind caressed her skin and she took in a deep breath. She wasn’t going to fall apart here, she told herself, as she pushed her legs into action and started to walk down the street. She would wait until she was alone, at home, where it was safe and private.
It didn’t take Alice long to walk the few blocks to the apartment, which she lived in with her dad. Alice’s dad was a good man, he had his own building company and he had always made sure that Alice never went without. Well, as much, as he could. Alice’s mom had passed away when she was only a toddler and that was the one thing her dad knew, he could never replace.
Alice looked at her watch, as she walked into the building. It was still only early afternoon and that meant the apartment would be empty. Alice felt a sense of relief wash over her, as she realized she would be able to deal with what had just happened, without her dad trying to ask her about everything. She knew she would need to tell her dad and that when she did, he would go mental and threaten to kill Rob, just like any dad whose daughter had been hurt, but she couldn’t face that yet.
As Alice walked into the apartment though, her heart sunk. She could hear voices coming from the kitchen, which meant her dad, must have finished early. Alice walked slowly through the small hallway, which ran right through the centre of the apartment. She wondered briefly whether she might be able to sneak into her room, without her dad realizing that she was home, but, as she walked passed the kitchen door, she heard him calling her name.
“Alice, can you come here a minute?” Her dad called cheerfully.
“Sure.” Alice said, as she changed her direction and walked into the kitchen. She tried to put a smile on her face, in the attempts to hide how she was really feeling. “What’s up?” Alice asked, as she looked between her dad and Tom.
Tom was one of her dad’s best friends, even though he was closer to her age than her dad’s. He had started to work for her dad straight out of high school and they had got on right away. Alice had always liked Tom; he had always been friendly towards her and always made an effort to turn the conversation towards something, which she could take part of when she was around. Sometimes Alice’s dad forgot that Alice was girl. He was so used to talking to her like she was one of the boys and Alice appreciated the fact that at least Tom understood that talking about bricks and building materials just wasn’t in her interests.
He was devilishly handsome too. Alice had seen that the first time her eyes had fell on him. He was tall and well built, from the work that he did. His skin was tanned, but weathered from being outside all of the time and he had crystal green eyes, which seemed to be filled with life, like a jungle. Alice had noticed that his smile had a slight edge of crookedness to it, which only enhanced his looks even further. If Alice had been any other girl, then she might have considered asking him out, but she knew he would never look at her like that. He was far too good looking and Alice, well, all she could see, was the monster who stared back at her in the mirror.
Alice was actually a very pretty girl from every perspective but her own. She had gorgeous brown hair, which fell in loose curls to the bottom of her back. She had plump, cherry red lips and a small sloped nose, which gave her a feminine grace. Her eyes were coloured in an ocean spray of electric blue and small white flecks. That wasn’t what Alice hated about herself though. It was her body. Alice was a slightly bigger than average girl. She was a size 16 and even though, she ate healthy and exercised every day, she couldn’t seem to shift, any of her extra weight. The thing was though, that she couldn’t see just how much her body suited her. It was curvy in all the right places and finished off her look perfectly. She might never be a bikini model, but th
at didn’t mean that she wasn’t beautiful, even if she couldn’t see it herself.
*****
Alice let out a sigh of relief, as she walked out of the kitchen and towards her bedroom. She had managed to keep the sadness out of her voice and her dad hadn’t picked up on anything being wrong. She walked quickly to her bedroom and closed the door behind her, by leaning on it. As she felt the click of the door in its frame, she let herself slide down the hard wood, until she was sitting on the floor.
The tears, which she had managed to keep in since the breakup, started to fall down her cheeks. She wasn’t even sure when they had started, she only knew that they were leaving trails of fire down her face, as they dashed to escape her. Alice almost laughed at that thought; even her tears didn’t want to stay with her, ironic really.
As the tears kept falling, Alice could feel sobs fighting to leave her chest. She knew she couldn’t though, she knew that if she cried out loud, then her dad would hear her. She could feel the pressure of them building up though and eventually she let her mouth fall open and she silently screamed into the emptiness of her room. She could feel her world crashing around her, her heart throbbed with a sharp ache, which could only come from breaking. She could feel her body trembling under the weight of the tears and sadness, but she couldn’t bring herself to be still.
Alice wasn’t sure how long she had been sat by the door, when a knock came from the other side. Her face stung with fallen tears and she stood up quickly, wiping her face with the sleeve of her hoody. She knew that wouldn’t hide the fact that she had been crying, but without any water, it was the best she could do. She took a deep breath, as she prepared herself to open the door and when she did, she was surprised by who was stood on the other side.
“Tom?” Alice said in a way, which was half a greeting and half a question.
“Everything okay?” Tom asked in a gentle tone, which almost sent Alice back into floods of tears.
“Everything’s fine.” Alice said, as she tried her best to put a smile on her face.
“Can I come in?” Tom asked, as he watched Alice plaster a fake smile to her lips. He had always liked Alice, she was a lovely girl who seemed to be always smiling and laughing. He didn’t know any other girl, who was just so easy to be around and the fake smile he could see, was affecting him more than he would have liked to admit.
“Sure, I guess.” Alice said, as she shrugged and stepped back, to let him walk through. She watched, as he walked into her room, the sight of him among her private things felt strange to her. It was almost, as though, she was letting him into her own private world and she wasn’t sure how comfortable she was with that.
“So are you going to tell me the truth?” Tom asked, as he sat down on the edge of her bed and tried to make eye contact.
“About what?” Alice said, as she tried to play dumb. She knew that Tom wanted to know what had made her so sad. She wasn’t the type of girl who got down very often and Tom cared about her dad a lot, and so she supposed in turn he probably cared about her a bit too.
“About why you look so sad?” Tom said, as he patted the space next to him on the bed. He had seen the look in her eyes the moment she had walked into the kitchen. He would never admit it, but he had spent a lot of time looking at Alice. He couldn’t help it, it was, as though, when she was in the room she radiated a glow, which drew his eyes attention away from everything, but her. So when she had walked into the kitchen with that look in his eyes, he had known straight away that something was wrong.
“Rob broke up with me.” Alice said slowly, as she tried to keep control of her tone. The sound of her voice admitting the truth was painful for Alice to hear. It was, as though, her saying it had made it all properly real and that cut into her like a knife. She could feel more tears rushing to her eyes, as the pain and the emotion took over her body.
“Aw Alice.” Tom said, as he put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her in. Her head rested on his chest and he lightly placed his chin on the top of her head. He was instantly hit with the smell of strawberries and cream, which must have been coming from Alice’s hair. “Do you want to talk about?” He asked after a moment.
“Not really.” Alice said, as she felt the warmth from his chest burn into her skin. She noticed that even though Tom had been working all day, he still smelt great, a mixture of sweat and musk, which seemed to complement each other and set Alice’s mind racing. She could feel her cheeks start to blush, but she wasn’t sure whether that was from the heat radiating off Tom, or the thoughts of him, which were currently playing out in her head.
“Do you want cheering up instead?” Tom asked, as he gave her a gentle squeeze with his arm.
Alice nodded into his chest, but didn’t say anything. She wanted to feel happy again more than anything, but she really didn’t believe that anything right now would have the ability to cheer her up.
*****
Alice woke up the next morning feeling groggy. She wasn’t sure when she had managed to fall asleep, but she knew that she hadn’t been asleep long. The bright morning light was filtering through the slightly open curtains and Alice could feel her eyes sting, as they tried to get used to the brightness. It was quite clearly going to be a lovely day and Alice was glad that she had agreed to Tom’s plan the night before.
When Alice got out of bed, she took a look in her wardrobe and tried to work out what to wear. It wasn’t that she didn’t have many clothes, she had a lot of clothes, she probably had more clothes than she would ever get chance to wear, but that didn’t mean that she wanted to wear any of them. Finally she decided on a pair of lose fitting jeans and a vest top. The weather was nice enough to wear shorts, but Alice knew that would be a decision she would regret, once they got into the countryside.
Once she was dressed, she tied her hair up in a quick ponytail and headed towards the kitchen. She had told her dad the night before about Rob and he had acted in just the way, which she had expected him to. When she walked into the kitchen, she smiled, as her dad lifted his head from his paper. It was the weekend and her dad never worked on weekends, instead he liked to spend the days in complete leisure. He didn’t get much time off though and Alice didn’t begrudge him so time to relax.
“Going anywhere nice today?” Her dad asked, as she grabbed the coffee pot from the unit and poured herself a cup. Alice loved her morning cup of coffee, it didn’t what day of the week it was, she would always sit down with her dad and have at least one cup, before they both had to get to their daily schedules.
“I’m going hiking.” Alice said, as she sat down at the table opposite her dad. A fleeting thought crossed her mind about whether she should tell him who she was going with, but there was something, which told her not to.
“You’ve picked the right day for it.” Her dad said approvingly, as he looked out of the kitchen window, at the blue sky, which seemed endless from the angle they were sat at.
“I know it’s lovely out there.” Alice agreed, whilst she nodded.
“Are you going alone?” Her dad asked, as a look of concern washed over his face. He had always been protective of Alice; she was his only child and she was the only thing left of his wife who had passed away. He never told Alice, but he could see more and more of her mom in her every day and it was something, which made him feel exceptionally proud.
“No I’m going with a friend.” Alice said, as she tried to avoid the question.
“Anyone I know?” Her dad asked. He hadn’t picked up on Alice’s evasiveness, perhaps because she was normally so open about everything with him. They had always been close, ever since her mom had passed.
“Tom.” Alice said, as she glanced at her dad’s face. She wasn’t sure about he would react. It was only a hike, but Alice knew that her dad could be protective of her.
“Oh that’s good.” Her dad said, as he nodded his head in approval. “He’ll look after you.” He finished, as he smiled and looked down at his cup, which was empty. “Better get a top
up.” He said, as he stood up and walked over to the coffee jug.
“Yeah, it should be good.” Alice said, as she watched him move around the room. She was trying to sound cool and reserved, but really her stomach was full of butterflies. She had never spent any time alone with Tom before, he had always been around when her dad was in.
Alice had always liked Tom, but she had never made any real efforts to be his friend. She fancied him too much for that and she always found herself blushing, whenever she noticed he was looking at her. She tried to push her nerves back, as she thought about what the day would bring.
It was whilst Alice was trying to calm her nerves, that there was a knock on the door. Her dad went to answer it and within seconds, Tom was standing in the kitchen. “Hey.” Alice said, as she stood up and walked over to put her cup in the sink.
“You all ready?” Tom asked, as he grinned at Alice. He had been pumped about the hike, ever since Alice had agreed to it. He had always wanted to spend more time with Alice and get to know her properly, but it seemed like it was never the right time. So he was really happy that he had managed to finally get some time alone with her.
“Sure am.” Alice replied, as she smiled. She walked towards the kitchen door and headed down the hallway, to where she had taken off her shoes the night before. She wasn’t exactly sure where they were going, but she figured that a pair of trainers would be suitable enough footwear. “Are we going?” Alice called down the hallway, after her shoes were secured to her feet.
“Coming.” Tom shouted from the kitchen.
Alice could hear Tom and her dad muttering, but she couldn’t quite make out what they were saying. She wondered what they might be saying, but just as the urge to move forward and listen, became too strong to fight, Tom walked out into the hallway and headed towards her.
