“When you have no life, pouring your emotional support toward someone far away and could use a friend from home is easy to do.”
Guilt coated his mouth. He’d never asked how things were going for her, not beyond typical platitudes. “I figured things were tough, but I had no idea they were that bad. I should have known.”
“No one knew.” She turned her face, shrugging off his touch. “You were off fighting a war and had other things to worry about than me. I never said a word because I didn’t want Grammy to overhear me complain. She took me in when I was four. It was my turn. But I should have let people know I needed support. I should have done a lot of things over the years. I can’t change the past, but I can do things differently from now on. Standing up for myself against my family is the first step.”
“I get it. I do, but—”
“No buts,” she interrupted. “I have this figured out.”
Her determination filled him with pride. She had gone further than becoming the old Addie again. The new show of strength, of resilience . . . Talk about a turn-on. “Tell me your plan.”
“I’m going to tape a statement and address my aunt’s accusation. Brad was going over what I would say when I got . . . emotional,” she explained. “I want this settled before we return to San Diego. That doesn’t give me much time. The producers are sending a film crew to the estate sale jeweler to confirm the ring was purchased then sold to a buyer. They will interview my aunt. The clips will be ‘leaked’ to the local media and police. And I pray this will be the last time my greedy family drums up phony charges.”
“A good plan. Yours?”
“Filming a statement and talking to the jeweler were my ideas. Brad thought of my aunt. He thinks this is great promo opportunity for the reality series.”
“Of course, he does. It’s great PR and your plan sounds solid.” But Nick had her six, an ace in his pocket, well, his overnight bag. “But I don’t like Brad touching you.”
“He was comforting me.”
“I’ll reserve judgment.”
She sighed. “Brad’s not a bad guy. A bit Hollywood, but he thinks the world of you.”
Nick rubbed the back of his neck. “I may have overreacted.”
“Because of Carrie.”
He nodded.
“I would never do what she did to you. Not ever.”
“I know that logically, but seeing the two of you together. I wasn’t thinking straight.”
“Obviously, but I don’t get the jealous husband act.” She leveled her gaze at him. “We’ve been having a great time playing make-believe for the camera. But our marriage is fake. You’ve been adamant about making sure our friendship doesn’t change, so why go all green-eyed on Brad?”
“Emotion got the best of me.” Not a good answer, but Nick didn’t know what else to say.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you cared about me.”
“I do. As a friend,” he clarified.
“Well, friend.” She emphasized the last word. “Remember our agreement about dating discreetly extends to both of us.”
Damn. Nick had been thinking of himself. He didn’t like the idea of Addie going out with other guys, but he couldn’t expect her to sit at home for the next five years. “I’m sorry for going cavemen on you. I hadn’t thought this out. Just acted. I want you to be happy.”
“We both deserve to be happy. That’s why . . .” She stared at the sand, then looked up, a steely resolve in her eyes. “I can’t continue to be part of a fake marriage. I want out.”
Air rushed from his lungs. “I don’t understand. Things have been going well.”
“That’s part of the problem.” Her gaze softened. “Being with you has shown me I don’t want a handsome guy to hang out with and be my meal ticket. I’m not willing to wait five years for more. I want the fairytale, complete with true love and a happily ever after. Now.”
Ah, hell. A storybook romance sounded nice, but he knew better than to think that was possible. “I’m not a white-picket-fence, commitment kind of guy. Not sure I ever was.”
“I know that.” She smiled. Not a forced wearing-my-big-girl-panties, but an I-understand-and-it’s-okay smile that proved how special she was. “I used to dream about us being together.”
His heart slammed against his chest. “When?”
“High school.”
Regret stabbed at him. He longed to go back and do everything over. He swore under his breath.
“Part of me wishes you were still that guy, but you’re not,” she added, not seeming to realize her words turned his world upside down. “You’re happy jetting around the globe and having adventures, and that’s okay. I’m not the same girl I was, either.
Addie was worth giving those things up for, except he wasn’t capable of giving her the kind of life she wanted. She deserved someone who wanted the same things she did—commitment, family, love. “How long have you felt this way?”
“A couple days, but I wasn’t certain until now.” She touched his arm. “You’re an amazing man, Nick. You’ve protected me and cared for me, but I want a man who doesn’t have to give up what he wants in order to build a life with me. I did that with Grammy. It’s not fair. Or fun.”
His well-crafted life avoided the things Addie longed for, but standing here, he wasn’t sure that was the life he still wanted. Part of him wanted to grab onto Addie and not let go, but he wanted her to be happy. “So what do you want to do?”
“Divorce after the show airs. We can use the pressure of being on reality TV as the excuse. That way you don’t get into trouble with your boss, and Emily doesn’t lose her job.”
Addie was looking out for others, but she was forgetting she had no money, no job, no place to stay except his place. “I get what you’re saying. Being married to someone else will make finding Mr. Right difficult, but where will you live? How will you eat? What will you do?”
“I have no idea, but I’ll figure it out.”
“What about nursing school?”
“That was my dream when I was in high school. I’m not sure that’s the dream after taking care of my grandmother.”
“This is so . . .”
“Easy?”
“Civilized,” he said. “No screaming and yelling.”
“We’re friends.”
He and Carrie had never been friends. He’d gone home with her the first night they met at a bar. “We’ve been friends a long time.”
Addie nodded. “You’re the best.”
“Ditto.” She was something special. The thought of her giving her heart out to some guy to step on made Nick want to puke. But he couldn’t give her the life or be the kind of man she wanted. The urge to kiss her was strong, but he extended his hand instead. “Let’s find the crew so you can make your statement and the file can be uploaded today.”
She clasped her fingers with his. “We still have to play honeymooners.”
“One more day.”
Addie stared off at the horizon. “As much of a pain as this has been, I’ll miss Starfish Island.”
“Me, too.” Nick squeezed her hand. But he would miss spending time with Addie like this the most.
After Addie filmed her statement, she sat on the hammock, swinging, nine years of regret lifting away. She’d taken back her life and was moving forward, not stuck in a waiting pattern again. She had Nick’s full support. That was all she needed.
So what if she craved his kisses whether the cameras were on or off? Hot kisses didn’t make a relationship. Being friends had been and would continue to be their best and only option.
“Great job.” Nick sat on the hammock, sending her careening into him. He handed her a water bottle. “I can’t wait to see your aunt’s clip. She’s going to look like greedy inheritance chaser.”
“I hope people see the truth.” Addie unscrewed the lid, satisfied she’d done what she could. “I want this settled before we get back.”
“Nothing like being met by the police
when you step off a plane,” he teased.
She remembered a story he’d told her about a trip to Florida where things got out of hand. “You would know.”
He laughed. “I forgot about that.”
“I didn’t.”
“Obviously.”
Looking around, she took a sip of water. The crew milled about on the back patio. Conrad sat on the queen-sized lounge readying his equipment for their next sequence. Dylan sat at the table, listening to something with his headphones on. Wes was filming on the beach.
Brad whistled. The shrill sound sent the birds in the trees replying in unison. “Let’s do a quick interview before going horseback riding.”
She downed more water. The couple interviews were her favorite part of filming. Brad would ask them a question. She and Nick would answer, playing off what the other said. Easy and fun.
The crew surrounded them. The equipment pointed in her direction was no longer intimidating.
“Where do you want us?” Nick asked.
Brad moved closer. “The hammock is fine.”
“I’ll say.” Nick slid his arm around her. “Cozy.”
For now. Soon this would be over. The honeymoon. The filming. Their fake marriage. At least they’d always be friends.
A wide smile settled into place on her face, one she’d perfected with Grammy on bad days. “We’ll have to get a hammock to remind of our honeymoon.”
“Unless you take home a more permanent reminder,” Brad said, standing out of the view of the camera, his role as off-stage interviewer.
Her brows drew together. “T-shirts?”
Brad hummed a song, one she recognized, but couldn’t place.
A vein throbbed at Nick’s jaw. “We just got married. Give us some time before you start talking kids.”
Oh, no. Brad was talking about a baby. Her and Nick’s baby.
Addie’s ovaries’ alarm clock blared so loudly she was surprised no one else heard the sound. If she could pick the father of her children, she knew who was top at the list. Better hit the snooze button because without having sex, a baby was not on the horizon. No matter what a beaming Brad might be hoping for, biology was clear on this point.
“But if you go home with a bundle of joy in the oven,” Brad pressed.
Nick stared at her stomach. Not totally flat, but no baby bump. That was for sure.
“I’d be thrilled,” he said finally.
She knew he was telling the truth. He’d been so excited when Carrie had told him he was going to be a dad. He wanted to be a better father than his had been to him. Addie had no doubt Nick would be.
“Me, too.” The two words were all she could manage with visions of a happily ever after running through her head. He was acting for the camera, but the thought of having his baby filled her with a contentment she’d never felt before, and the thought of being a wife and mother with husband and father Nick by her side and in her bed was the most amazing daydream ever. Way better than the ones she’d had in high school.
“That’s all you’ve got to say, Addie?” Brad asked.
She hesitated, trying to compose her thoughts. “I’m sure we’d have a cute baby if he took after Nick.”
“Or if she took after Addie,” Nick added.
Fantasy. Not real. For television only.
Except somehow her palm now rested on Nick’s thigh. His thumb stroked her side. The temperature had risen ten degrees. Today was going to be a scorcher.
Maybe she should become a teacher. She’d be surrounded by kids at school and get over this unexpected want-to-have-Nick’s-baby feeling. Divorcing would help, too. She didn’t want to think about this. “Guess we’ll have to wait and see, but I wouldn’t get your hopes up.”
She said the words for the television audience’s benefit as well as the film crew’s. No one knew this was the least passionate honeymoon that ever happened on Starfish Island. “As Nick said, we’re newlyweds. Time together would be nice before we have a family.”
“But you’ve been friends forever,” Brad said. “Engaged for what? Twenty-one years?”
She thought back to the little blue-eyed boy with a shy smile who’d helped her when she tripped walking into the kindergarten classroom on the first day of school. If love at first sight existed when you were five, she’d experienced it. Three months later, Nick had proposed to her during recess, right before Christmas break. “Twenty-two.”
“Call the Guinness Book of World Records,” Brad shouted.
Nick didn’t say anything.
Addie didn’t blame him. She had no doubt he would agree this was awkward. “But we weren’t attached at the hip like some kids. Remember when you decided being best friends with a girl wasn’t cool?”
“I was what ten or eleven? The teasing from the guys was so bad,” he said. “But I was there when your grandfather died.”
“I appreciated that. Of course, when we got to high school, you went out with my friends.”
“But you were the prettiest one.”
“I was the only one you didn’t date. Or kiss.”
He kissed her forehead, as if to apologize. “You were going off to college and I was joining the army. Why start something when we were going to be apart?”
“We stayed in contact. Though I could have done without the butt dialing in the middle of the night.”
He winked. “That only happened . . .”
“A dozen or so times. Less than the drunk calls.”
His cheeks reddened. “Shows you who was my last call.”
“True.” Except, she wasn’t always his last call. Not when he was seeing some other woman, however temporary. Their friendship ebbed and flowed like the tides. They’d fallen into a pattern—when one of them needed something, the other was always there. Nick was helping her now. But they hadn’t been there for each other day-to-day, and they hadn’t taken care of each other at the same time for over sixteen years ago.
Nick raised her hand and pressed his lips against her skin. “Now you’re my first kiss of the day and my last.”
She kept her smile frozen in place when a part of her wanted to hold him tight and cry for what they would never have together. How many times had she fallen for him only to forget about those feelings in the name of friendship? “And you’re mine.”
He lowered his mouth to hers. No stage direction needed. They had the kissing down, like the hand holding, intimate touches, and glances.
But this time felt . . . different. Maybe she was imagining things after an emotional morning, but Nick’s kiss was more . . . tender.
The way his lips moved over hers made her feel cherished. Warmth flowed through her veins. The heat had nothing to do with the tropical temperatures and everything to do with the man holding her. The kiss was nothing more than another display for the camera, but she wanted to pretend the words he’d said and these kisses were real.
This time she would.
Her left hand splayed his bare back feeling the ridges of his muscles beneath her palm. She touched his hair with her left hand, letting the strands sift through her fingers. He drew her closer, sending the hammock swinging.
Love you.
Addie knew without a doubt she’d fallen in love with Nick once again. As long as he was part of her life, she would keep falling in love with him. Like taking her next breath of air and her heart continuing to beat, she couldn’t help herself.
Forget finding Prince Charming. No man would stand a chance against Nick. He wasn’t perfect. Far from it, but as long as he and she were friends, her heart would belong to him. Worse, she feared she would find herself waiting for him to return to town to spend time with him. She’d put her life on hold for too long to do that again.
So much for winning the grand prize. She’d lost. Big time.
Shoving aside her feelings so they remained friends wasn’t going to work this time. Not after their “honeymoon.” And now realizing what she’d been doing these years.
Continuing to b
e Nick’s friend would be like living in quicksand, never knowing when she would start sinking, and the descent would be quick and painful.
That left her one choice. One painful, heartbreaking choice.
Addie couldn’t afford to keep falling in love with Nick Cahill and pretending she hadn’t. She needed to be true to herself, to her feelings, even if she couldn’t imagine life with Nick.
But what else could she do?
Nothing else.
She needed to say goodbye. No contact. No anything once they returned to San Diego.
Chapter 9
After horseback riding, the film crew gathered their gear and headed back to their bures. About time. Nick ground his toe into the sand.
He didn’t know what was going on with Addie, but she had been the definition of hot and cold this afternoon, kissing him with reckless abandon, which he appreciated, then not saying much, which he hated. He needed to speak with her alone to find out what was going on. “Want to take a walk along the beach?”
“Sure.” Addie shook off the sand from their beach towels and placed them in a bag. “A walk will be nice.”
Not much enthusiasm in her response. Maybe everything she’d had to deal with today had worn her out. “We don’t have to go far if you’re tired.”
“I’m not.” Addie placed her wide-brimmed straw hat on her head. When they were in high school, she was the one who reminded people to put on sunscreen and wear hats when they were at the beach. Might explain why she had such pretty, clear skin and no wrinkles or laugh lines.
Note to self, Nick thought. Make sure Addie laughs more.
She walked along the beach in ankle deep clear water.
He caught up to her in five steps, then shortened his stride to match hers.
She stared off into the horizon, where the water seemed to go on forever. “This place is a slice of heaven on earth.”
He laced his fingers with hers. “Paradise.”
Addie raised their link hands. “We’re not on camera.”
“We’re honeymooning. You don’t want Mama Lani to think we had an argument and want us to have makeup sex.” He expected Addie to smile. She didn’t. “Worried about what’s happening with your aunt?”
The Honeymoon Prize Page 11
