Lizzie’s head lifted. Her focus narrowed in on Jules. A long moment of silence passed, and then Lizzie smiled. “You know, you scared me. Don’t do that. For a moment, I thought that you were serious.”
Jules’s palms grew moist. “You make it sound like grad school is the only worthwhile option.”
“It is.” Lizzie leaned forward, her elbows resting on her knees. “I don’t understand. I thought this is what you wanted—what we’ve been working toward.”
“But what if I changed my mind?” She prayed Lizzie would understand. “What if I don’t have what it takes to get through the program?”
“So that’s what this is all about.” Lizzie leaned back and sighed. “Jules, you don’t have to worry. You’re going to do great. You’re the smartest person I know.”
“I’m not that smart.” Still it felt good knowing that her sister thought that highly of her.
“Smart enough to get honors in college and get accepted to your first-choice school. To me that’s very impressive. Just don’t stress yourself out. You can do anything you set your mind on.”
“But what if—”
“Lizzie, are you ready to go?” Dante strolled into the room, rubbing his hands together as though he was ready to hit the road.
“Yeah, I’m ready.” Lizzie put her supplies in a nearby box. “Did you remember to pack the recipes your aunt gave me?”
Dante nodded. “I got them.”
“And the photos your father gave me of when you were little.”
“I got those, too. Mind telling me what you plan to do with all of that stuff?”
Lizzie smiled up at him, and he just shook his head. “Well, you better get moving. We have to get ready for tomorrow’s filming, and I want to do some prep work tonight on the menu.”
Lizzie turned to Jules. “I’m sorry I can’t stay longer and help more.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve got this.”
“And make sure you ask my brother for help,” Dante told her as he offered Lizzie a hand to help her off the floor.
When Lizzie got to her feet, she leaned forward just as natural as could be and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. The look that passed between them spoke of their boundless love. Jules smiled. This just confirmed that all her hard work for the wedding was so worth it. This truly was her sister’s happily-ever-after.
Lizzie turned back to her. “I’m taking the rest of the fans with me to finish. And I have the heavy paper for the place cards. I’ll run them off on the printer in the office once we have a finalized guest list.”
Jules placed the rest of the programs in the box and closed the lid. “I don’t think you have to worry about that. My guess is everyone will attend. No one wants to miss the celebration.”
“You don’t think they’re all coming because it’s supposed to be filmed for television, do you?”
Dante wrapped an arm over his future wife’s shoulders. “My family is all about the celebrating and it has nothing to do with television.”
Lizzie gazed into Dante’s eyes. “I hope you’re right.”
“Trust me. They’re happy for us.”
Lizzie reached up and squeezed his hand.
“I wouldn’t trust him.” Stefano stepped into the room. “If there’s one thing I learned growing up with him, it is to be wary when he says ‘trust me,’ especially if it involves the last of the gelato.”
Dante smiled and turned to his brother. “Hey, I can’t help that you were so gullible.”
“What did you expect me to do when you said Papa was looking for me and to trust you that there’d be some gelato left when I returned?”
“See? You learned a valuable lesson—eat your gelato first.” Dante smiled broadly over the memory of outsmarting his older brother. “We’ve got to go.”
“Don’t worry.” Lizzie turned back to Jules. “Everything will work out.”
And with that Lizzie and Dante carried the wedding supplies out the door, leaving her alone with Stefano. He turned a puzzled face her way.
“What did she mean about everything working out?”
Jules shook her head and got to her feet. “It’s nothing.”
She turned her back to him and bent over, picking up her supplies. She wasn’t going to get into another discussion about her education. He’d probably side with Lizzie anyhow, and she didn’t need people ganging up on her. When were people going to trust her to make her own decisions?
He stepped forward and wrapped his hands around her shoulders, and turned her around to face him. “I know that something is bothering you. Did you tell her? You know, about us?”
“No. Why would you think that?”
“I don’t know. Women like to confide in each other, and I thought that you might have said something.”
“I wouldn’t know what to say.” Her frustration and insecurities came bubbling to the surface. “You and I never talked about what it meant. You’ve made yourself scarce since then.”
He arched a brow. “You make it sound like I’ve been hiding from you—”
“Haven’t you?” She dropped down on the couch, and he joined her.
“I’ve been busy. You know that.”
“Uh-huh.” He surely didn’t think she was going to buy that he didn’t have one spare moment to speak to her, did he?
“It’s the truth. There’s a wine-tasting event this weekend, and I’ve been helping my father nail down the details. But don’t change the subject. We were talking about what your sister said. What’s going to work out?”
Jules sighed. “I was trying to tell my sister that I’m not so sure that I still want to go to grad school.”
“And...”
“And she thinks I have cold feet. She’s certain I’ll get over it and things will go according to plan.”
“Is that how you feel?”
“No.” It was the truth, and she was tired of holding it all inside.
His tone softened. “Then talk to me. Tell me what’s on your mind.”
Maybe Lizzie wasn’t ready to hear what she was feeling, but Stefano genuinely seemed interested. And she felt as though she could confide in him. Maybe he’d surprise her and be in her corner.
“The truth is I no longer want to go to grad school.”
“That’s a big decision. What changed your mind?”
“Are you really interested?” She didn’t want to go on and on if he was only being polite.
His tone held a definite note of sincerity. “I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t interested.”
She leaned back on the couch and folded her hands in her lap. “I just finished a session as an intern with social services before I flew here.”
Then again, maybe she didn’t want to get into it all. Stefano was the picture of success. His winery was thriving. She’d been awed by all the awards he’d won. They were displayed in the wine-tasting room. His wine had worldwide recognition. He’d never understand failure. And she didn’t want him to think less of her.
“Jules, are you going to make me drag it out of you a little at a time?”
“No. Never mind. It’s not important.” She attempted to get up, but Stefano reached out to her.
“It is important.” His tone was filled with concern. “If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t be trying to tell your sister about it with the wedding so close. Since you can’t talk to her, talk to me. Maybe I can help.”
She glanced up at him and wanted to believe that he could actually understand. That he wouldn’t think less of her. Jules’s heart told her one thing, but her mind said the opposite. She decided to follow her heart.
Unable to look him in the eyes, she ducked her head. “I got fired from my position. Well, I don’t know if you can get fired from an internship, but I was asked not to re
turn.”
There. It was out there. The embarrassing truth. She was a failure.
When Stefano didn’t say anything, she glanced up. In his eyes, she didn’t see any signs of judgment—just compassion.
“I’m sure there has to be more to the story than that. What aren’t you telling me?”
“I...I couldn’t do things the way they wanted. The kids...they needed someone in their corner. And I couldn’t stand by and say nothing. When I spoke up one too many times, the supervisor determined I wasn’t suited for the position.”
“Sounds to me like you were just following your heart.”
“But don’t you see, I can’t do that type of work. I can’t follow their rules and regulations blindly when they just don’t make sense in every case. I know the rules are there for a reason, but sometimes exceptions need to be made.”
“Did you ever think that you’re letting your injured ego override everything else? You could help so many kids. I agree with your sister. You need to keep going and get your degree. Maybe you can bring about change to the system.”
Why did she ever think that opening up to him would be a good idea? He wasn’t any different from her sister. Sure, it hurt getting fired. No matter how nicely the woman at the office stated it, a firing was a firing. She was certain there were other occupations that she could be just as good at or better.
But switching her focus made her feel as though she were copping out somehow. And she didn’t want to turn her back on those kids who didn’t have a voice. She wanted to do her part, but how could she do that without compromising who she was and what she believed in? She’d never be a yes-girl.
Guilt chewed at her as she considered doing something other than being a social worker. Why the guilt? Was it projected on her from her sister and now Stefano? She didn’t know, but she sure wanted to figure it out. And she’d do it on her own, without his input or her sister’s. This was a choice only she could make.
“Maybe you’re right,” she said. When he smiled broadly as though he’d just solved the world’s economic crisis, she added, “But maybe you’re not. That’s why I haven’t pressed the subject with Lizzie. I want to be sure before I get into it with her.”
“And that’s why what happened between us can’t happen again.”
Jules forced her mouth closed as a hundred thoughts struck her all at the same time. “You think me changing my mind about grad school is somehow related to us making love?”
“I think that you don’t know what you want in life, and I don’t want to confuse matters. It isn’t like I can offer you anything serious. I’ve done that, and it didn’t work out. You’re still young. You have your whole future ahead of you.”
A future without him. The thought tore through her, making the backs of her eyes sting. She blinked. He was right. They didn’t have a future, but it had nothing to do with her being young or his first marriage ending. It had to do with her not being wife and mother material. Maybe he realized that, too, but didn’t want to point it out.
Jules sucked in a steadying breath. “You’re right. I have my whole future ahead of me. And right now that consists of creating the most amazing wedding for my sister.”
She got to her feet and started for the door. No matter his reason for rejecting her and their lovemaking, it still hurt. She didn’t want him to see how much it bothered her.
“This isn’t how I meant for things to go between us.” His voice was gentle and thick as honey. “Don’t go away mad.”
“Just go away,” she mumbled.
She fled from the room as quickly as her legs would carry her. Her heart was heavy. He regretted their lovemaking, while she’d been replaying it over and over in her mind. She’d been such a fool to think that it’d been special for the both of them.
She wouldn’t make that mistake again. And she didn’t have time to dwell on her foolish mistake. The wedding was getting close—a wedding to top all others. It’d be so romantic that it’d have couples falling in love all over again.
Except for her and Stefano.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
HE’D MADE A mess of everything.
Stefano’s hands balled up and pounded the desktop, rattling the mug of pens as well as the computer keyboard. A few days had passed since he’d ended things with Jules. She still spoke to him, but it was at a bare minimum. And now that the wine-tasting event was over, he had far too much time on his hands.
What had gotten into him to let things get so out of control?
How could he have forgotten that his solitary life was one of his own making? His penance. If Jules had a clue he was to blame for his wife’s death, she’d hate him. And that’s how it should be. He didn’t deserve another chance at love. And he certainly didn’t deserve it at the expense of Jules’s education. He couldn’t stand to be responsible for the demise of her dreams. He’d done enough damage for one lifetime.
If only he’d kept his hands to himself. His thoughts strayed back to the amazing time he’d spent with her wrapped in his arms. The strawberry scent of her hair. The velvety smoothness of her skin. He drew his tormenting thoughts up short. How could their lovemaking be so wrong when it felt so right?
It had to be all the talk about the wedding. It was messing with his mind, reminding him that he was all alone. Any other time that wouldn’t have bothered him, but right now it sounded so grim and miserable. He was going to end up like his father. Old and alone.
But the memory of his father and Maria squeezed into his mind. Something told him that his father was starting to live again, step-by-step. He was happy for him, but that wasn’t possible for Stefano. It was different.
Stefano had driven his wife from the house in the middle of the night with his unwillingness to compromise—his unwillingness to see that his wife was not the same woman he thought he’d married. Or that he’d only seen what he’d wanted to see when they’d said their vows. Either way, they’d both become disillusioned.
Her last words to him ran through his mind. The man I thought I loved doesn’t exist. He was a man I made up in my mind. We don’t belong together. We never did.
“Are you busy?”
The sound of Jules’s voice had him turning to find her standing in the doorway of the winery office. “What are you doing here?”
Her eyes widened at his unintentionally brusque tone. “I wanted to know if you’d have time to run into the city tomorrow. But don’t worry about it. I’ll find another ride.”
“Don’t be silly. It’s my responsibility to get you around.” He hadn’t meant to be so rough with her. He was frustrated with himself, not with her.
“I don’t want to put you out. With you being busy, I can get there on the train.”
In truth, he didn’t have that much to do. This wasn’t their busy time, and his father was moving around the vineyard like a man half his age. If it was because of Maria, he would be the first to admit that love suited his father. “I said I’d take you.”
“Fine.” She turned to walk away.
Guilt gnawed at him. He couldn’t let her leave with things so tense between them. He couldn’t stand the thought of her hating him. After all, they were going to be family.
He jumped to his feet and took off after her. “Hey, I’m sorry. I just have a lot on my mind right now.”
She shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. I know I’ve been a bother. Always getting in the way—”
“No, you haven’t. You haven’t done a thing wrong.” He didn’t want this cold indifference to drag on. “I know I’ve been tough to live with lately. Let me make it up to you.”
“You don’t have to bother.”
“But I want to.”
“I don’t know.” She wrung her hands together. “What do you have in mind?”
He thought back to wh
at she’d said about wanting a family and a menagerie of animals. He couldn’t help her with the family, but there were animals at the vineyard. “How would you feel about a horseback ride around the grounds?”
She worried her bottom lip. “But I’ve never been on a horse before.”
“I’ll teach you.”
Her eyes lit up. “Are you serious?”
He nodded. “Does this mean you agree?”
“I suppose.”
Was that a hint of a smile pulling at her very tempting lips? He sure hoped so.
He suddenly found himself anxious to show her the ropes. Jules could be a lot of fun—when she wasn’t upset with him. She had a way of making him smile, and it’d been a long time since he’d done that. The guy he used to be—the one who used to talk smoothly with the women and make them smile—now seemed like a stranger to him. Maybe it was time he brushed up on his skills. After all, there was no reason to make Jules miserable. She hadn’t done anything wrong except get involved with him.
And how could things go astray while taking a horseback ride? After all, they’d be on separate horses. It wasn’t like he would have a chance to wrap his arms around her and pull her close. Her lips wouldn’t be right there in front of him, ripe for the picking.
He squelched the titillating thoughts. He had to see Jules like he saw other women. He couldn’t keep lusting after her. Her future was in New York.
* * *
Jules was proud of herself.
After some coaching from Stefano and the patience of a mild-mannered horse, she was feeling at ease as Stefano guided her around the vineyard. The place was even bigger than she’d imagined. Acres and acres of vines stretched out in every direction. Stefano regaled her with stories of his family’s history on the land and how they’d been able to expand onto neighboring lands.
She really enjoyed listening to him talk. She wasn’t so sure if it was the honeyed tones of his voice or the entertaining twist he put on the tales—each story bigger and more outrageous than the last. He got her to laugh, and it felt good. It was as if a dark cloud had rolled away, letting the warm sunshine rain down on them.
Harlequin Romance April 2015 Box Set Page 49
