CHAPTER NINE
CALLIE SIGHED AS she stared at the clock on her desk. It was almost eleven. She had been back at the hotel for almost an hour now, after taking a taxi, and she’d spent that hour clearing her office of the mess she’d made after hastily preparing for their unexpected double proposal.
She was waiting for Blake to arrive and return to his house, so that she didn’t bump into him when she popped into her brother’s office to give him an update. Connor had said that he’d wait for her to return, and though she knew it wasn’t nice of her to make him wait even longer she didn’t want to deal with Blake until she’d had a good night’s rest.
Or at least that was what she was telling herself.
She sighed and paged through the file she kept on the proposals. So many things had happened that day—that evening. And the evening’s events made her want to throw the file in her hand at the door. When Blake had swooped her up into his arms after they’d finished the proposal and taken her to celebrate on his boat—a boat—she’d almost laughed at how unbelievable it was. Now she thought that it wasn’t as unbelievable as Blake’s claim that he was just ‘rewarding an employee’ by taking her there.
After the things they had shared with one another, after the romance of the evening—and, yes, she acknowledged, to her the whole boat event had been heartbreakingly romantic—the fact that he could claim she was just an employee to him hurt. After she had bared her soul to him—and she gritted her teeth at that—how could he callously say such a thing? All because he didn’t want to talk about his stupid marriage.
It hurt her more than she wanted to admit that he wouldn’t talk to her. Sure, he had told her about his parents’ split, and he had been open—however reluctantly—to her conclusion about his subsequent relationship with his father. But then he’d completely shut down when she’d asked him about his ex-wife, going right back to being the stubborn boss she knew and intensely disliked. The one she would never have considered telling about her parents’ deaths and how it had broken her.
This was the reason she didn’t open up to people, she thought as she began to gather her things. People let you down. One day you had them around you, and you thought that you wouldn’t ever feel alone, and the next day they were gone. It didn’t matter why they left—those reasons always changed—the leaving was the one thing that was always consistent.
So she should be glad that this had happened. Blake was saving her so much heartache by pushing her away. And she would listen to herself in the future, not to Connor or any of her colleagues, who insisted that she should open up to people. That she should date.
It was just a waste of time, she thought, and locked her door. Especially if the person she opened up to wasn’t ready to do so themselves.
As she made her way to the exit of the hotel she saw that her brother’s office door was slightly ajar. Guilt crept in as she remembered that she was supposed to give him an update, and she sighed and detoured to his office. Subconsciously she was hoping that he had already gone home, and she could send him a message when she got home with a quick summary. But he never left his door open after he’d left for the day, so she resigned herself to having to tell him how the day had gone.
It was dark when she peered into the office, with only the city’s lights shining through an open window illuminating the room. When her eyes adjusted she saw the outline of a figure in Connor’s chair. Her heart thudded and she rushed to his side.
‘Connor, are you okay?’
Only when she knelt beside him did she realise that it was Blake, not Connor, sitting at her brother’s desk.
‘Oh, I’m sorry—I thought you were Connor.’ She rose awkwardly to her feet and wished she hadn’t let the guilt of responsibility lead her into the lion’s den.
‘I got that,’ he said dryly, and his voice was lined with something she couldn’t place her finger on. But she knew it was dangerous.
‘I just wanted to fill him in on today.’ She eyed the door she had shut when she’d thought something was wrong with her brother, desperately wishing she had left it open.
‘I did that. He left a few minutes ago.’
‘Oh, okay...’ Why was her voice so shaky? ‘I’ll go, then.’
‘No.’
She exhaled sharply. ‘What do you want, Blake?’
‘I want to apologise.’
‘For what?’
‘For being a jerk earlier.’
A part of her wanted to brush it off, to tell him that it didn’t matter. But she couldn’t because...it did. It mattered. Everything she had told herself earlier about it being for the best faded somewhere into the background of her mind as she realised this. But she didn’t respond to him.
With her eyes fully adjusted, she could see that he no longer had his tie on, and the first few buttons of his shirt were undone. She swallowed, all thought leaving her mind as she noticed that his neck was bare, ready to be kissed. She shook her head and shifted her eyes to his face. It was as gorgeous as it had been the first time she’d admired it, but the danger she had sensed from him earlier was clearly outlined there.
Somewhere at the back of her mind a voice was shouting that she should leave before she had the chance to find out what that danger meant for her. But she didn’t move, not until Blake stood, and then she took a step back, bumping into Connor’s bookcase. It shuddered, barely moving, but it knocked some of the breath from her.
‘I...I can’t do this with you, Blake.’
‘Do what?’
He was a few feet away from her now. She could smell him, and the sexy scent nearly sent her to her knees. She was suddenly incredibly grateful for the bookcase behind her that held her steady.
‘Whatever you have in—’
Her words were cut off as he walked slowly towards her. Her heart rate—which was never really normal around him—kicked up even higher.
‘What are you doing?’ she asked breathily when there was barely any space between them.
‘I’m apologising,’ he said, and placed his hands on either side of her.
‘It’s okay. It’s fine.’
She didn’t care that she hadn’t been ready to accept his apology a few minutes ago.
‘Good. But now I’m saying sorry in advance...for doing this.’
And he kissed her.
His lips were soft on hers, and she could barely breathe from the electricity that the contact sparked. She was aware of every part of him—of his hands that were no longer braced beside her but had moved to her waist. Heat seeped through her clothing where he touched her, but it was nothing compared to the inferno of their kiss. He had deepened it, and as though she was outside of her body she heard herself moan.
Her hands slid through his hair and she loved the feel of it through her fingers. Before she knew it he’d pressed her against the bookcase, so that her body was aligned with his. She shuddered at the feel of him against her, and moaned again when he trailed kisses down her neck. She pulled at his shirt and then, with frustration, when she couldn’t find his skin fumbled with his buttons. Just as she’d thought, muscles rippled across his chest when the shirt was finally opened and she greedily took them in.
And then froze when his hand slid up her thigh and settled at the base of her underwear.
‘Blake...’ she rasped, her breath still caught by their passion, ‘Blake, we can’t.’
His lips stilled at her collarbone, and she could hear that he was just as affected by what was happening between them. He lifted his head and looked at her, and something on her face had him nodding and moving back. She stayed where she was, afraid that her legs wouldn’t work if she tried to move.
In the shadowed light from the window he looked amazing, his shirt undone and his abs ripped, just as she’d felt them a few moments before. She wished she coul
d do this, she thought as she took him in. She wished that she hadn’t stopped and that they could let their desires control them. But that would only get her more of the hurt she already felt when she was with him.
‘I forgive you. For this,’ she said breathlessly. ‘But I can’t do this with you.’
She straightened her dress, picked up the handbag and jacket that she had thrown across the room in her haste to get to her brother. And then she took the minute she needed to organise her thoughts.
‘You may have convinced yourself that taking me out on your father’s boat was an employee benefit for a job well done, but you can’t claim that this—’ she gestured between them ‘—is how employees and their employers behave with one another.’
‘You’re right, it isn’t.’
She hadn’t noticed that he’d fastened his buttons again. A faint wave a disappointment threaded through her.
‘Callie, I meant it when I said I was sorry about earlier.’ He braced himself against Connor’s desk. ‘You didn’t deserve that.’
‘No, I did,’ she said, and ignored the surprise on his face. ‘I deserved it for believing that letting someone in would do me any good.’
He looked up at her, and something had him moving towards her.
‘No—stop.’ She held up a hand. ‘We’ve already let this go too far.’ She sighed, wishing she could pull her hair out. Anything that would make her feel better about what she was going to say. ‘Blake, your ex-wife clearly hurt you. And you’ll never really let me in because of that. So, for both of our sakes, I think we should just pretend this never happened.’
‘The kiss?’ he asked, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
‘Everything. Every single thing that’s happened between us that shouldn’t have happened between a boss and an employee.’
He didn’t say anything, and she took that as agreement.
But as she left the office her heart ached at the thought of forgetting what they’d shared.
CHAPTER TEN
‘I THINK WE should just pretend this never happened.’
Blake welcomed the cold water on his heated and fatigued body. He knew that at some point hot water would be needed to soothe his screaming muscles, but for now the cold took away the pain his two-hour gym session had yielded.
‘I think we should just pretend this never happened.’
What it failed to do was wash away the memories of the previous evening. The memories of him acting completely out of character.
Completely out of control.
He’d tossed and turned the entire night, so despite the incredibly long day he’d had, and despite how tired he’d been, he hadn’t been able to get a wink of sleep. Which was why he had instead, at four in the morning, made use of his home gym.
He adjusted the water when he felt the cold down to his bones, and closed his eyes as heat pounded against his body. He had probably pushed himself too far, he thought. And he knew he would pay for it the entire day. Hell, probably for the entire week. But it had kept his thoughts off the mess he had made. For a few hours, at least, he thought, when his mind yet again looped back to the single thing he couldn’t stop thinking about.
‘I think we should just pretend this never happened.’
He wished he could. He wished he could pretend he hadn’t spent the day watching her work. He wished he hadn’t noticed how well she had done—how she had taken an unimaginable scenario and turned it into what he was almost certain would be a victory for Elegance. More than anything, he wished he hadn’t given in to the impulse of taking her onto his boat.
Yet that wasn’t the reason why her words had haunted him from the moment she’d said them. Because, as much as he wished he could pretend everything that had happened between them hadn’t happened, he couldn’t—for one simple reason:
He didn’t want to.
He turned the water off and towelled himself dry. He knew the moment Callie had started asking him about his mother that her line of questioning wouldn’t be easy for him. He didn’t talk about his mother to anyone—he hadn’t even mentioned her to Julia—and yet he’d told Callie about her the day they’d had supper after their tour. When he had barely known her.
He had convinced himself that it had just been to comfort Callie, after he’d figured out that her parents had died—especially since she hadn’t offered the information freely. But it hadn’t taken him long to realise that it had also been because he’d felt comfortable with her. And, if he was honest with himself, that was part of the reason he had insisted on maintaining a professional relationship with her.
If he was comfortable enough to share his most hidden memory with her, it wouldn’t take long before she lodged herself in his heart. And then she would be able to hurt him. And if his instincts weren’t wrong—as they’d been before—and she’d fallen for him, he’d be able to hurt her, too.
As he began dressing for work he thought about his mother for the first time in years. She had disappointed him.
He had watched her pack her bags into the car, and then she’d knelt in front of him and said, ‘I’m sorry, Blake. I hope one day you can understand that I couldn’t do this. This life was never for me.’
She’d kissed him on the forehead and driven away, and he had watched the car fade into the distance.
He couldn’t remember feeling more helpless—or more heartbroken—than at that moment when he was eleven and his mother had left. He didn’t know if it mattered to him now that it had been the last time he had seen her or the last time he had known some semblance of a normal family life. But what he did know was that he had vowed he would never feel that way again. He didn’t ever want to feel as if he didn’t have control or to feel heartbroken again. Most of all, he had assured himself that if he were ever a father he would never let his child feel the way he had. He would make sure that his child had the family he’d never had.
Something clicked in his head and he realised that Julia had made him feel all those things—had forced him to break all those promises he had made to himself such a long time ago. And the worst thing was that now he was terrified Brent would be feeling the same way he had—helpless and disappointed.
The mess of his mother, Julia and Callie swirled through his head, and he began to think about his relationship with Julia in a way he’d never considered before. To think of why he’d reacted the way he’d reacted to her, why their relationship had broken down so completely. And though there were many layers to it—most of which seemed hazy to him at the moment—one layer suddenly became incredibly clear.
Blake closed his eyes and resisted knocking his head against the wall. And he thought one thing repeatedly—that he was a fool.
* * *
Callie got into work early that morning, not bothering with breakfast at home because she knew she could sneak into the hotel kitchen and grab some of the food that would be warm and ready for the breakfast buffet in half an hour.
After doing just that, she unlocked her office and thanked the office angels who had helped her clear her desk the previous night. Because now she could set her breakfast and her coffee on a desk that she could actually see, instead of on a pile of papers she hoped weren’t important.
She sighed as she bit into a warm slice of toast, and moaned when it was accompanied by the coffee boost she so desperately needed. She hadn’t slept very well, her mind muddled with thoughts, and at about three in the morning she’d forced herself to stop thinking about the events that had caused the ache in her heart and instead focused on business. She knew the proposal the previous day had gone well, but she wanted to kick it up a notch. At five a.m. she’d had a fully drafted email about what she thought would do just that. Now she just had to find the courage to hit ‘send’.
She took her time eating her breakfast, and then read through the email
a couple more times. When she couldn’t procrastinate any longer she sent the email to Blake, and copied Connor in just in case. She hadn’t spoken to him about the proposal, but he’d sent her a message congratulating her. Which she’d only read after midnight, since she had been too busy kissing her boss and dealing with the resulting anguish to switch on her phone before then.
It was barely ten minutes later when she received a response, and she held her breath as she opened it.
Come and see me.
That was it? Nothing about the perfectly outlined event she had just sent him the plan for?
She bit back her disappointment and pulled out her compact mirror to make sure she didn’t have breakfast crumbs on her face. She gave herself a pep talk on her way to the conference room and told herself she was as prepared as she would ever be before seeing her boss, with whom she had so hungrily made out the night before. An image of him with an open shirt standing in the moonlight flashed through her mind, but she forced it away.
She was a professional. She could do this.
But her resolve nearly faltered when she saw him. He looked nothing like the dishevelled man she’d left in her brother’s office the night before. His hair was slicked back and his suit was pressed. Worst of all, his face was expressionless when he looked up at her.
‘Morning, Callie. I just got your email.’
‘Yes, I know.’ She forced herself to match his demeanour. She was the one who had wanted him to be like this. Except now it didn’t seem to be what she wanted at all.
‘So...what do you think?’
He ran a hand through his hair and just like that the neat style collapsed as a piece fell over his forehead. He didn’t seem to notice, but she did, and she wanted to walk over and fix it for him. And then she could sit on his lap...and then they could continue where they’d left off last night...
She shook her head. Where had that come from? She had been so sure that she had made herself immune to him. She’d forced herself to replay every moment of the previous evening and repeated all those words that had hurt her so that she could strengthen her resolve. And then she had forced herself to forget the way his hands had felt on her body, the way he’d kissed like Cupid himself.
The Tycoon's Reluctant Cinderella Page 9
