by Trudi Jaye
It seemed just as plausible.
As Jack talked to the deputy, Rilla looked wearily around the room. Her eye caught on the old suitcase shoved on the top of her wardrobe. The photos in her father’s suitcase and the people they hadn’t recognized—Lucietta was bound to be among them.
Standing up, Rilla went over and pulled down the case, placing it on the tabletop and opening the lid. The photos lay in the same disordered piles—black-and-white faces, faded seventies color, even some sepia tones from the really old photos.
She carefully went through the top layer, looking for the group shot they’d found last time. She pulled it out and studied the faces.
There she was, holding hands with Christoph but looking over at Abacus.
Lucietta was young, slim, and blonde. Rilla flicked the photo with one finger. Barbarina was so much more. More attractive, with more heart… kinder, braver.
“Fordham’s coming down. He wants to talk to Christoph.” Jack paused, looking down at Rilla, concern on his face. “The Carnival will probably throw him out by morning, if he hasn’t left already. He’ll wake up somewhere else, just like my father.”
Rilla flicked her eyes up to Jack. Of course that would be his fate. She couldn’t think of anything to say.
Jack sighed. “I need to find Viktor, make sure they have Lucietta.”
“Look at this photo of her,” said Rilla, gesturing with her hand, ignoring his words. “What is it about her that made him do it?”
Jack shook his head. “You can’t help who you love, Rilla. It just happens.” His dark eyes watched her closely.
“But not anymore. He was happy with Barb. Why did he throw his life away all these years later?”
Jack shrugged. “She seemed smart, and everyone said she was persuasive when she wanted to be. My dad can be the same. Christoph still felt he owed her, and she would have played on that. Like he said, it just escalated out of control.”
Rilla clenched her fingers around the photo. “And he just accidentally got my father killed? I’m supposed to just accept he didn’t mean to do it?”
Jack leaned forward and pried her fingers apart, rescuing the photo. “You don’t have to accept it, Rilla,” he said softly. “It’s just what happened. Your father would have wanted you to get on with your life, not dwell on his death.”
Rilla felt the burn of tears in her throat. “You didn’t know my father,” she said.
“Everyone tells stories about Abacus. I’ve heard so many of them, I feel like I know him a little bit. I know he loved you more than anything. He would have wanted you to move on.”
Rilla swallowed over the sob that wanted to break free from her chest. Of course her father would have wanted her to move on. She knew that. She thought she had been moving on. But right now, right here in this caravan, she was back to square one.
In fact, she felt worse than she ever had in the first days after her father’s death. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she covered her face with her hands.
Jack crouched down beside her and gathered her into his arms. She pressed her face into his shoulder and cried tears that just didn’t want to stop. All her hurt and fear and terror at being left alone came out. Her father had been all she had, her one constant in life. Despite all his flamboyance and craziness, he’d been a rock, a solid presence she’d counted on to keep her steady. The hole he’d left tipped her sideways, left her world uneven, her perspective unsteady.
Why had he left her? Why couldn’t he have kept his nose out of trouble and stayed safe?
Even as the questions came into her head, she knew they were unfair. Her father had only been doing what she would have done—trying to save the Carnival. Slowly, her tears subsided and she looked up. Jack’s face was close to hers. Tantalizingly close.
She put one hand to his cheek, softly caressing his skin. She knew instinctively Jack would never betray the Carnival like Christoph had. There was something weak in Christoph, something that had enabled him to forget about his duty to his family and his friends, to his wife and daughter. Jack would never do that. He had a rock-solid sense of what was right and wrong, and his loyalty to family came first. She’d learned that the hard way. She lifted her head and kissed his jaw. The skin was salty with sweat and slightly rough with a day’s growth of stubble.
“Rilla, you’re not thinking clearly.” Jack put one hand to her cheek. “You’re only doing this because you’re upset.”
“Maybe,” she whispered. “Is there anything wrong with that? Is there something wrong with wanting to feel good at a time like this?”
Jack put his hands on either side of her face. He leaned in and kissed her softly, his breath warm against her skin. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel good.” He kissed her again, this time more deeply, and put his arms around her body, pulling her close.
After a while, he lifted his head. “I want to stay here with you all night and keep you warm. You know I do. But I have to go and check on Viktor. We need to make sure Lucietta has been found and locked up somewhere.”
Rilla sighed. He was right. “I’m going with you.”
Jack nodded and held out his hand, leading her back out into the night. “I’m not entirely certain where to search for them.”
Rilla chewed on her lip for a moment. “I think I know where Viktor would put someone like Lucietta… if Alfie agreed to it.”
Jack gestured with his free hand. “Lead the way.”
***
As they arrived at Alfie’s animal training area, they found Viktor and Alfie standing on the wooden ramp outside Martha’s massive stable truck.
“We have her,” said Viktor.
“She’s in the spare animal pen.” Alfie hitched his thumb behind him.
A scream of anger erupted from the cage, and Jack raised his eyebrows. Lucietta wasn’t taking this lying down. But then neither were they. She’d tried to kill another three people, and she wasn’t going to get away with it.
“She’s been objecting since we put her in there.” Alfie didn’t bother to hide his grin. “Martha don’t mind. Thinks it’s another of those screeching monkeys.”
As if to agree, Martha lifted her trunk and trumpeted a reply.
“Did she admit to anything?” Jack glanced at the pen.
“Nope. She tried to convince us to let her go, like she had some sort of charm talent. We told her we weren’t falling for her stories, not like poor old Christoph,” said Viktor.
Jack had to hide his smile. He really couldn’t imagine the pragmatic Thrillmaster falling for any woman’s wiles.
Rilla was staring into the darkness around the wooden pen. Was she wishing she could do something more permanent than simply giving Lucietta to the deputy?
“Do you want to go see her?” he asked softly.
Rilla jerked her attention back to his face. She paused, thinking. “Yes, I think I do,” she answered.
They walked toward the cage where Alfie and Viktor had tucked Lucietta away. As they got closer, Jack could see her pacing back and forth, her blonde hair swishing in time to her agitated movements. Their shoes crunched on gravel and Lucietta turned, her eyes sharp as she tried to see who’d come to visit.
“Oh, it’s you. My stupid blocker nephew and the useless Ringmaster’s daughter.”
Rilla hissed in an angry breath, and Jack wondered if he’d done the right thing encouraging her to visit with Lucietta.
“We’re not the ones in a cage. You might want to bear that in mind when insulting others,” said Rilla.
“I’m not the one you have to worry about,” Lucietta said slyly.
“Christoph wouldn’t hurt a fly,” said Rilla hotly. “Not without you to egg him on.”
Lucietta raised her eyebrows. “My, so protective of someone who helped me systematically destroy your precious Carnival. He’s been doing it for years, you know.”
“He felt sorry for you. You used his guilt and turned him into someone he’s not.” Rilla’s eyes f
lashed angrily in the dim light.
Jack cleared his throat. There was no point talking to Lucietta. She was only going to gloat about how she’d managed to control Christoph. “C’mon, Rilla. Leave her to stew. She’s got nothing to say that we don’t already know.”
Rilla stepped away from the cage, nodding shakily. She clearly knew Lucietta was just trying to upset her.
“We’re not alone, you know,” said Lucietta.
“What?” Rilla turned.
“You were right. We’re not alone. There are others like us, with similar powers. We’re not as special as we thought we were.”
“How do you know?” Jack’s eyes narrowed in on his aunt, trying to figure out if she was lying and what her angle might be.
“I met some of them. Worked for them. Helped them.”
“I thought you were a blocker. How come you didn’t block their skills?” Jack’s heart skipped a beat. He leaned in closer, suddenly anxious to hear her answer.
“I don’t block anyone outside this rotten Carnival where I was born and raised.” She shrugged. “The magic outside the Carnival is better, stronger, but I was never bonded to it. It didn’t hate me the way the magic did here.” For once, she sounded real, like she was telling the truth and not her own warped version of it. Jack shivered. At least if his blocking got too bad, he knew it wouldn’t work away from the Carnival. He could save them all that hurt.
“Why aren’t you blocking us now?” asked Rilla suddenly.
Lucietta shrugged. “My bond to the Carnival is long gone. It was severed when we were thrown out. I suppose if I came back and lived here again, joined in with the Gift, I’d get it back.” Lucietta sneered at Jack. “You’ll be gone from here soon enough, Jack. Don’t get too attached. Once Christoph has gone, they’ll need someone else to blame for their problems.”
Rilla abruptly turned, grabbing Jack’s arm. “Come on, let’s go. She’s not saying anything useful.” She dragged him back toward Viktor and Alfie. Her strides were long and sure, but she didn’t say another word until she reached the old show hands.
“She’s a psycho,” she said.
Both men nodded.
“Always been a little off the scale,” agreed Alfie. “Maybe we shoulda known she’d be back to cause us trouble one day.”
Jack nodded as well, although a tiny part of him still wondered how much of her personality was due to the rejection she’d received because she was a blocker. Perhaps he would feel betrayed and bitter if he’d grown up here and knew more of what it meant. “Just keep her in here until Deputy Fordham comes to take her away,” he said aloud. “He’ll be here soon.” She’d still tried to kill Kara, Barb, and Rilla. Had actually killed Abba. He could pity her, but he didn’t have to forgive her.
“Soon enough for us to say our good-byes to Christoph?” asked Viktor.
Rilla’s eyes snapped to Viktor’s face, but she stayed silent.
“When will they have to leave?” Jack said.
“Don’t know, but Barb is talking about going with him.”
“What about Missy?” asked Rilla. “Is she going, too?” Her voice was sharp.
Viktor shrugged. “I don’t know.”
Jack put one hand on Rilla’s shoulder. “We don’t know for sure what’s happening. We could go visit them…?”
Rilla shook her head violently. “I don’t want to see Christoph. Not yet.”
“You might regret it later,” said Viktor.
“I can’t just forget what he’s done. He was my father’s best friend.” Rilla’s voice was low and angry, tears lurking in her throat. “I don’t know how you can forgive him so easily.”
Viktor sighed. “I’m angry, Rilla, don’t worry about that. But I’m old, and Christoph’s been in my life since I was in short pants. After tonight, I’ll never see him again. I can’t let him go without a goodbye.”
Rilla shook her head. “His actions were directly responsible for my father being killed. He took away the years he might have had with all of us. I will never forgive him for that. Never.”
Jack wanted to smooth away the pain on Rilla’s face. He could distract her, if nothing else. “Then we’re going to check on Garth. That we can do.”
Rilla sighed and nodded.
The two older men waved them away, content to wait for the deputy.
Rilla walked beside him to Garth’s trailer, her face still blotchy from crying. “Have you seen Garth since he first woke?” she asked.
Jack shook his head. “No. They tell me he’s doing better.”
“Have you been able to control your absorbing?”
Jack smiled down at Rilla at her use of the word absorbing. “To some extent. I practiced some more, before the accident. Enough to stop affecting everyone’s magic as much as I was.”
Rilla eyed him thoughtfully. “I’ve been thinking about it,” she said.
Jack raised his eyebrows. It was hard to know when she’d had the time to think about it, given everything that had been swirling about in their day. “Have you come to any conclusions?”
“The Carnival flows in patterns. Everything is balanced, like the Chinese yin and yang, even the power we create through the Gift. If something happens, there’s a reaction or an opposite.
“When you absorbed all that energy, you pulled Garth to you and when you touched him, Garth collapsed. What if that’s a consequence of you absorbing too much power at one time? Maybe you accidentally pushed some of the magic you’d gathered into Garth, and that’s why he collapsed? It could be like Frankie being our barometer of the power levels. Garth is a measure of the amount of power you’ve absorbed. Too much and it knocks him out. Maybe it’s to let you know you have to expend or give back the energy?”
“How would we be able to tell?” Was he going to have to learn to keep his absorbing power at bay the whole time? He’d ended the last writing session exhausted, and he couldn’t imagine having to do that all day long. He hadn’t noticed it affecting anything else since this morning. Maybe there was a limit.
“You were concentrating on the Ringmaster routine just before it happened, so maybe you accidentally started absorbing the power around you to help. Or perhaps it was the routine that finally cemented your connection to the Carnival, and the absorbing power kicked in.”
Jack thought about it for a moment. “I can feel it inside me. Some kind of connection that wasn’t there before.”
Rilla nodded. “You’ve bonded to the Carnival. We should talk to Garth, see what he thinks. Maybe do some tests. You could try to absorb an increasing amount of power and see what happens. In a controlled environment.”
“Will Garth agree to it?”
“He’ll want to know and understand it as much as we do. I don’t think he’d be happy to know you can knock him senseless whenever you feel like it.”
“It’s not like I hurt him on purpose.”
“No, but not everyone will have the best interests of the Carnival at heart. What if another absorber comes along? Someone like Lucietta would destroy the Carnival if she understood her capabilities properly.”
Jack sighed. She was right, but he couldn’t help thinking Lucietta hadn’t had someone like Rilla trying to help her when she came into her powers. “Maybe she would have been able to control her spiking and wouldn’t have felt like everyone hated her,” he said. “Maybe her story would have ended differently if she’d known this.” Jack felt he understood his aunt now, even if he didn’t agree with what she’d done.
Rilla shrugged. “The more we know, the better.” She paused, an angry glitter in her eyes. “But don’t expect me to feel sorry for Lucietta, Jack.”
They’d reached Garth’s caravan, and his weak reply to Rilla’s knock made Jack glance at her in concern. Was he really better?
They climbed the steps and found Garth sitting with a coffee and his laptop in front of him at the main table. His eyes were full black and Jack let out the breath he’d been holding. He remembered the first time he�
��d seen Garth’s eyes go black and how creepy he’d found it. Now, it was a relief.
“How are you feeling?” asked Rilla. She went over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
“Much better. Almost back to normal.” Garth smiled. He waved a hand to the seats beside him. “Sit. Would you like anything to drink?”
“I’ll get myself a tea. What would you two like?” Rilla started bustling around the small kitchen area. She seemed to know exactly where everything was kept.
“Coffee. Strong and black,” said Jack. “It’s been a long day.”
Garth looked up at him. “Tell me about it.”
Jack cleared his throat, suddenly feeling awkward. “I’m sorry about… everything,” he said. “I didn’t intend to…”
“I know that. I don’t blame you.” Garth waved away his apology.
“We wanted to ask you what happened,” said Rilla, handing Garth his tea.
“I collapsed. What else is there to know?”
“Rilla has a theory,” said Jack slowly.
“A theory?” Garth glanced at Rilla thoughtfully. “Well, she usually deciphers things pretty well.”
“We want to hear things from your perspective. What happened for you?” said Jack.
“You knocked me out like a light.” Garth raised his eyebrows at Jack.
Jack felt heat rise up over his face, but he shook his head. “But was there anything strange before that? Did you feel anything before you collapsed?”
Garth paused, thinking it through. “I was coming to see you. I’m not sure why, but I really wanted to talk to you about something.” He frowned. “You know what? I don’t think I actually had anything specific to talk to you about. I was just being drawn toward you, as fast as I could go.”
“Do you remember anything from when you saw me? Before you collapsed?”
“It felt like a lightning bolt. Or maybe hitting an invisible shield. It just slammed into me. I don’t remember anything until I woke up here.”
“Did you get back your connection to the Carnival straightaway?” Rilla’s voice was soft, as if she didn’t want to know the answer.
