by Trudi Jaye
Simon was looking at the doorway, his face considering. “He’s worried ‘cause we saw his eyes,” he said.
Maddy blinked. “You noticed it too?”
Simon nodded. “It’s something to do with the Carnival. Some kind of magic he doesn’t want us to see. I think he forgot about it for a while.”
Maddy didn’t know how Garth could have forgotten his eyes were all one color. It had really been quite startling. “Magic?” she said. She cleared her throat. It was one thing to secretly suspect something outside of her experience; it was another to have the words said out loud.
Simon nodded. “My dad knows about that kind of stuff too. He didn’t like to talk about it, but I knew. He’s left me with these guys, and it’s because they know about the magic as well.”
Maddy’s heart dropped into her stomach. She wanted to put her arms around Simon and protect him from the world. It was going to be a terrible shock to him when he remembered what his father had actually done.
“What do you know about magic?” she asked cautiously.
“I have some. I can feel it inside me.” Simon’s voice was soft.
Maddy held her breath for a moment. She didn’t know what to say. She put up one hand and smoothed it over his hair. “We all have a little magic in us.”
Simon shook his head. “I think this is something more. I don’t think other people feel like this. And I can feel the magic in you as well.”
Her heart jumped. She shook her head. “No, Simon. You might have magic. I don’t know about that. But I definitely don’t have any.”
“I think that’s part of what I can do. I can sense it in others. Yours is different from mine, softer, more subtle. Garth’s is hard and sharp. Bright.”
“What kind of magic can he do?” Maddy found herself asking despite trying to dampen down the discussion.
“I don’t know. But I think he’s very powerful. And it’s changed in the last couple of days. Something has clicked into place. Something’s happening.”
“What do you think is happening?” Maddy thought back to the changes in Garth. Could his change in personality be something to do with his eyes?
“I think it’s to do with the show they’re putting on. Alathea won’t tell me much. I’m still an outsider.”
“They’re protective,” Maddy said soothingly.
“It’s not a problem. I understand. Dad used to keep the magic hidden too. Ordinary people don’t understand.”
“It’s hard to believe,” said Maddy cautiously.
“But it’s real. Maddy, you have to believe in it. Garth needs you to believe.”
Maddy paused, wondering where a boy this age came up with this kind of thing. He was too young to be talking like this. “Garth doesn’t need me to believe. He’s a grown man. He can take care of himself.”
“But he really likes you.”
Maddy shook her head. “It’s complicated, Simon. Adults aren’t always as simple as they seem.”
Simon snorted. “Adults make everything too complicated.”
“I guess we do. Life’s complicated, though. It’s not black and white—there’s lots of grey.”
The small fish in Simon’s hand crumpled suddenly, his fist crushing it.
Maddy’s gaze flicked to his face, startled. “Simon? Are you okay?”
Simon’s gaze had gone flat, distant, and for a moment it seemed as if he wasn’t going to answer. “That’s what my dad said. That last night. I remember,” he said softly.
“That life is complicated?” Maddy held her breath for a moment.
“That it’s not black and white. That there are things that people do, even though they know it’s wrong, because they want something bigger and better to happen.” Simon’s eyes were wide as he remembered his father’s words.
“What do you think he was talking about?”
“He was talking to Lucietta. They were talking about a plan they had. Dad wanted revenge and he wanted Luci to help him. They didn’t know I was there.”
“How did it make you feel?” Maddy spoke in a low, even voice, trying not to startle Simon out of his memories.
“It scared me. I’d never heard Dad talking like that. He sounded… mean.”
“Did he say anything else?”
Simon scrunched up his eyes and then shook his head. “He just sounded kind of desperate. Angry. I think Luci might have been a little scared of him too.”
“What makes you say that?”
“She was crying at one point. And Dad…” Simon swallowed.
“What did he do?”
“Dad hit her. He slapped her face and she stopped crying.”
“Did you ever let your father know you’d overheard him?”
Simon shook his head. “I don’t know. I don’t think so.” Tears formed in his eyes. “Why was my dad acting like that, Maddy? I’d never seen him like that before.”
Maddy shook her head. “I don’t know, Simon. Sometimes people do strange things that we can’t understand. But it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you.”
“He said something else. He said I was the key to his revenge. That he needed me to make it all work.” Simon’s voice was a whisper, his large tear-stained eyes watching Maddy, waiting to hear what she would say.
Maddy took a breath. She had to keep him calm, let him remember in his own time. “What you heard was out of context, Simon. Neither of us can possibly know what it means. But you know what? Even though you’ve only known us a short while, Garth and I care about you. You’ve got people on your side, helping you out. Whatever happens, whether you get your memory back or not, you’ve got people who care about you, and that’s the most important thing.” She took a breath and watched his face, hoping what she was saying would give him comfort.
“You really think it’s going to be okay?”
“Of course it is.” Maddy leaned over and hugged him, hoping she was right.
***
“We need to start working on the Gift.” Missy’s voice was impatient, aggravated. She glared at Garth.
He nodded tiredly. She was right. He stood on the balcony of her tree house, looking down over the canopy below them. The lake was a distant feature, the ice sparkling in the winter sun. Her family home was built high in the trees, using the thick redwood trunks as the support network around the built structure. Now that her parents had left the Carnival, she had it all to herself.
“So what do you see? What can we use to help her wish come true?”
Garth sat on the handmade wooden chair. He knew Christoph, Missy’s father, had made it himself one winter when they were young. He leaned back and closed his eyes, focusing on the connection to Maddy.
The Mark.
“She’s private. She has strong feelings of hurt toward her parents, particularly her father.” Garth had to force himself to say these things out loud. He’d already known some of it; they’d talked enough for him to understand that her father had used her as a research project.
“So she’s a secret keeper who has daddy issues? How does that help us? What else?”
Garth flicked his eyes open and glared at Missy, gripping the arms of the chair. She took a step back, holding up her hands. “Okay, okay. I’m just worried. We need this Gift, even if it was unexpected. I don’t know how we’re going to get through this winter. We need to finish this show, pay off the bank, and then go straight back on the road.” She sounded tired just at the thought of it all.
Garth nodded and closed his eyes again. She was right. This wasn’t the time to become sensitive. “She’s into origami. Paper folding. Maybe that could help us?”
Missy paced along the edge of the room, past the tall windows letting in the natural sunlight from the bright winter’s day outside. She stopped. “What about that guy…? He was in my year at school, and now he owns that little bookstore in town. Justin? He sells handmade paper.” Missy looked triumphant.
Garth frowned. “Didn’t he have a unibrow? And zits?” Wha
t was Missy thinking?
Missy rolled her eyes. “He lost the zits when he passed puberty, and someone must have taught him how to pluck his eyebrows because he looks a lot better these days.”
“He doesn’t sound very smart. I think Maddy needs someone intelligent.”
“He’s perfectly intelligent. I’m going to check him out. But you need to keep searching. It’s better if it’s someone she already knows, right? Rilla always says that.”
Garth nodded tiredly. “Yes, it’s better if it’s someone she already knows.” He felt brittle inside, like chunks of safety glass were slowly shattering, holding their position, but only just.
“Okay, then we need to set one of the boys onto looking around, finding some of the guys in her life.” Missy carried on, oblivious to Garth’s turmoil. “I’ll ask Joey if he can take some time away from the online work Frankie dumped on him. He’s good at that kind of thing.”
Garth nodded, trying not to concentrate too hard on what they were talking about. Inside his head, he could feel the calm emotions inside Maddy’s bubbling away. It was good. She wasn’t upset or feeling extremes of emotion. Perhaps she wasn’t feeling the same way he was right now. Perhaps the connection that had seemed so strong to him had only been tenuous for her, and now that he’d ignored her for a couple of days, she’d forgotten about him.
He closed his eyes and leaned back in the chair. Or maybe he was being hysterical and needed to calm down. He needed to think, to find someone who would make Maddy happy.
His eyes flicked open. He would go to the rest home and visit his father, do some recon on Maddy at the same time. Maybe there was another doctor who could fill the position. A little piece of the safety glass inside him broke off, drawing blood as it fell.
***
The motel was a disgusting fleapit, but it was close to where they needed to be. Hugo carried his bag into the room and looked around again. Two beds, a sink in one corner, and a dirty bathroom were all that made up their room. Luci was sitting on the bed, looking sourly over at the television, which was set on Spanish cartoons. Blago sat silently in the corner, occupying the one chair in the room. His face was pensive, almost fearful. He was probably worried about what he’d done. After all, he’d led them directly to Madison, the town next to the Compound, without even blinking an eye.
“We’re almost there, Blago. How does that make you feel?” He felt the need to taunt the old man a little.
Blago blinked and then looked over at Hugo. He regarded him blankly for a moment. Then the expression cleared. His usual animation was marred by the disparaging look he threw at his captors. “They’ll be ready for you, Hugo,” he said.
Hugo grinned. “My tactics have changed. I won’t be going straight in this time. They’ll never know what hit them.” He’d thought he had them last time, but this… this was actually better. The first plan had been like killing off a few measly ants instead of going to the source and killing the entire colony, including the queen. They were all there, living out the winter in style, hiding from the outside world, smug in their safety.
But not for long.
***
Garth sat in the parking lot outside his father’s rest home, looking at Maddy’s motorbike. He knew she was inside—he could feel it—but the motorbike was confirmation. It made it real.
It was a grey winter’s afternoon. He wasn’t entirely sure why he was here, but he kept telling himself it was to help move along the Gift. He would visit his father, look around for any doctors who seemed presentable, and then leave. Just because Maddy was here didn’t mean he would see her. He checked in the rearview mirror to make sure the glasses he wore around outsiders hid his eyes properly. They were dark and cloudy and made it look like he was a damned vampire or something, but at least it hid the full extent of his change from prying eyes.
With a grimace, he shoved open the car door and climbed out. He slammed the door a little too hard and winced when a nurse entering the building glared at him.
He stalked to the door and, almost running past the offices, found his father sitting inside next to the fire. He had a blanket over his knees and a plate of cookies to one side.
“Hey, Dad. How are you?” he said.
His father looked up at him and blinked slowly.
“I bought you some barley sugars like you asked for.” Garth held out the small glass jar that he’d bought on the way.
Milton frowned. “I don’t like barley sugar, son. I’ve always liked aniseed.” His voice sounded a little hurt, and Garth’s heart lurched.
“Dad, do you know who I am?”
Milton pulled at the blanket tetchily. “Of course I do, Garth. You’re my son.” His face was screwed up like a child on the verge of a tantrum.
Garth came forward, a small smile lurking in the corners of his mouth. “It’s good to talk to you.”
“I wish I could say the same for you. Where have you been? Why am I locked up with all these old people?”
Sinking into the chair opposite, Garth stared at his father. This was the most coherent he’d seen him in years. “You remember me?”
Milton rolled his eyes. “Of course I do, idiot. Stop sitting there like a gobstopper and get me out of here.”
Garth leaned forward. “I don’t think I can, Dad. You’ve got Alzheimer’s. You’ve been here for five years, living in this home.”
“Five goddamned years?” Milton put one hand to his head, staring at Garth like he was an alien. “You locked me up here for five years? I knew we didn’t always see eye to eye, son, but I didn’t realize you hated me that much.”
Rocking back in his chair, Garth felt as if his world were shifting out from under him. “Dad, you haven’t known who I was for the last five years. You almost burned down the house. You’ve barely been able to look after yourself. I put you here because I couldn’t take care of you, not because I didn’t love you.”
His father looked at him, shock on his face. “I’ve lost five years? I’ve been here that long?”
Garth nodded, not trusting himself to speak.
Milton rubbed one hand over his eyes as if trying to wipe away the words he was hearing. “I don’t remember much, not for a long time. I… I remember your mother dying. Then it gets kind of hazy.”
“It’s been twelve years since Mom died,” said Garth softly.
Milton’s face paled. “Twelve years? How can it be twelve years?”
“Dad, I don’t know what’s happening. Do you feel okay physically?” Garth struggled to keep the panic out of his voice. His father suddenly seemed to be back again, and it didn’t seem real. He looked around. He needed Maddy. She would know what to do. “Dad, I’m going to go get one of the doctors. A friend of mine. She’ll be able to help.” Garth stood, his legs shaky at first. But long strides soon took him to Maddy’s office. He banged on the door.
A muffled voice from inside said, “Just a minute,” and he struggled not to just break down the door.
Maddy opened the door and did a small double take when she saw Garth. “What are you doing here?” she said.
“I need your help. Dad’s come out of it. He knows who he is, but he doesn’t remember anything since Mom died.”
Maddy frowned. “Garth, that’s just not possible. I’m sorry, but he must be just confused.”
Garth shook his head. “Come with me and see. He knows me. He’s the same as he used to be. It’s as if it never happened.” Garth grabbed her arm, and Maddy allowed him to lead her down the hallway and into the communal lounge.
He stopped in front of Milton, who was now looking around the room at the other patients with a mix of fear and hostility.
“I can’t believe you left me here with all these old people, Garth. Look at that fellow over there. He can barely get his spoon to his mouth.” Milton shuddered and glared up at his son.
Garth turned to Maddy. “See?”
She stepped forward, her eyes large in her face. “Milton, do you know who I am?” she
asked in a quiet voice.
Milton glared up at her and then shook his head. “No idea. Sorry, honey. You look like a nice gal, but I’ve never seen you before.”
Maddy glanced over at Garth and then back at Milton. “What do you remember?”
“I…” He glanced around the room. “It’s a little hazy. I don’t remember this place. Last I recall, I was at home.” He looked over at Garth accusingly. “And I was preparing for the season. We were just about to leave for the tour. Abba was driving us hard. He kept saying the clowns were letting everyone else down.” Milton paused. “Which maybe we were.”
Garth swallowed. He was pretty certain he knew what year his father was talking about. Milton hadn’t made it on the tour. He’d collapsed in a drunken stupor outside the training ring three days before they were due to leave and had been ordered by Abba to stay behind. The Ringmaster had been furious. But Garth had proved himself that season and had taken over as Giftmaster. When he returned, he learned that his father had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. “That was a long time ago, Dad.”
His father’s eyes focused on him, straight and direct like they used to. “How long ago, Garth?”
“Almost eight years.”
Milton’s face crumpled, and he put his head in his hands. Garth looked over at Maddy, who was watching Milton with a strange expression on her face.
“This isn’t Alzheimer’s,” she said in a low voice. “People with Alzheimer’s don’t suddenly remember everything like this.”
Garth took a step closer to her. “Are you sure? This isn’t going to last for a few minutes and then he goes back to how he was?”
Maddy looked up at him, her eyes huge. “I don’t know, Garth. I really don’t. But this isn’t normal behavior for an Alzheimer’s patient. He’s too lucid. Or at least he seems to be. Maybe you could ask him some questions about what happened around that time? See if he remembers it properly.”
Nodding, Garth took a seat opposite his father. “Dad, I just need to ask you some questions.”
