by Trudi Jaye
She stretched her arms over her head, trying to work out the knots that had settled in her shoulders. It might feel familiar, and her body knew what it was supposed to do, but she definitely hadn’t done this in a while. Her muscles hurt.
“Clean up your station. We’re done for tonight.” Cal’s voice was cold as ever. Tilly shook her head. Didn’t he realize she was supposed to be the one angry with him?
“Hello?” A new voice called out from the door of the kitchen, and Tilly immediately turned around.
“Garth!” She grinned and launched herself at her old friend as he came into the kitchen. He hugged her, making her feel welcome for the first time all day.
“How’re you doing?” he said, pulling slightly back, a concerned look on his face.
“I’m good. Cal’s had me hard at work.” She scowled over at the culprit.
Garth laughed. “I’m sorry about that, but I hoped you wouldn’t mind?” he said, looking down at her quizzically.
Tilly saw something in the back of his eyes, concern or worry that was weighing him down. She wasn’t going to add to Garth’s problems. Much. “I’m fine. I just appreciate the roof over my head. Speaking of which, where might that be?”
“Cal didn’t mention anything? He’s agreed to have you stay at his place for a while. My house is full to the brim, or I’d ask you to stay with me. I figured Cal was the next best option.” Garth grinned.
Tilly tried not to grind her teeth. How was staying with Cal the next best option? Garth should have known better than to think they’d be catching up on old times.
“Isn’t there somewhere closer to…?” She couldn’t think where she might want to be closer to and stumbled to a stop.
“To the kitchen? Cal’s place is right next door. It’s perfect. You’ll be able to help them out in a bad situation, and Cal can pay you back by putting you up.” He squeezed her shoulders. “It’s so great to see you. You’ll have to come by and meet my fiancée Maddy. Perhaps you could make it for dinner this week?”
Tilly nodded. She’d heard Garth had found himself a girlfriend, but she hadn’t realized it was serious. Her dream of gathering information from Garth as they sat and talked in the evenings over a glass of wine was drying up in front of her.
Garth chatted for a few moments more and then, with a wave, he was gone.
Tilly stood watching where he’d exited, unable to process the mess she’d gotten herself into. She’d agreed to stay at Cal’s place, the one person she hated more than any other. It didn’t seem possible.
“Come on, let’s go.” Cal’s voice directly behind her made her jump. He strode past her, and she had to run to catch up to him, only stopping to grab her bag and then racing out into the freezing cold night. Tomorrow she’d figure out a way to get out of this sleeping arrangement.
CHAPTER FOUR
“This is your room.” Cal pointed to a door in the hallway of the small but comfortable house among the trees to which he’d led her. It was almost directly across from the kitchens, so she understood why he lived here.
“Where are your parents?” she asked.
“Where they’ve always been,” he replied. “I’m twenty-six years old, Tilly. I couldn’t live with my parents forever.”
“Some people do.” Tilly walked to the bedroom. It was light and bright, done in pale yellow and lime, and she would have loved it if it hadn’t been in Cal’s house.
“I’m going out. I’ll be gone for a couple hours,” said Cal abruptly.
Tilly nodded. She just wanted to go to sleep. What did it matter where Cal was?
“Make yourself comfortable. Food’s in the kitchen. Make yourself a sandwich if you’re hungry.”
She didn’t answer and he didn’t wait for one. Just as the front door slammed, her stomach rumbled, and she realized she hadn’t eaten in a very long time, at least not properly. She dumped her bag on the bed and wandered out to the kitchen, which, like the rest of the house, was small and compact but still managed to feel homey and welcoming. Opening the fridge, Tilly inspected the contents. It was a bit low on actual food, which was typical of all the chefs she’d known, but she pulled out some cheese and salad and found some bread in the cupboard, making a sandwich as he’d suggested. She munched on her food as she wandered around the house, poking her nose into the various rooms, and discovered another two bedrooms, a bathroom, a lounge with state-of-the-art stereo equipment, and a massive television.
At the far end of the house, down a long hallway, she opened a door and found the most beautiful room she’d ever seen.
It was a large warehouse-style space with plants growing everywhere, on every surface—a warm and tropical paradise hidden in the mountains, like an out-of-place oasis. Overhead, there were large glass panels instead of a roof, and on the walls, long floor-to-ceiling windows let in the light and somehow not only kept out the brisk winter wind that was blowing outside, but kept it warm and tropical inside. She suspected the work of the Carnival’s Thrillmaster Viktor, or maybe one of his family—they’d always been able to create the impossible. Tilly walked over to the glass wall and touched it. Instead of the frigid cold she was expecting, the surface was warm.
Deciding to ask Cal about it later, she continued to wander around the room. It was dimly lit with floor lights along the paths, which glowed brighter as she neared and dimmed down again once she’d passed by. Every conceivable kind of plant seemed to be represented, from herbs and spices to large ginger plants, exotic-looking flowers, and even strawberry plants tucked to one side. There were so many different shapes and colors it was hard to take it all in.
After a few minutes of exploring, it dawned on Tilly that she knew most of the plants flourishing around her, and they had something in common: they could all be used in cooking. She walked down the aisle, touching and smelling various leaves and flowers, until she arrived at the end of the row.
She inhaled a quick breath at the fresh discovery that bubbled in front of her.
In a darkened corner of the room, hidden behind rocks and ferns, was a pool filled with gurgling hot water. She’d found a secret hot pool, perfect for easing muscles after a long day in the kitchen. It was designed to look like a natural formation, an uneven kidney shape, with rocks around the edge and inside the pool, while ferns curled over the edges. To one side was a backdrop of tropical plants, and on the other was a view stretching out over the forest beyond. Small fairy lights decorated the area, giving off a soft ethereal glow in the muted light. She crouched down and put one hand into the water; it was deliciously warm. Tilly rolled her sore shoulders. The desire to pull off her clothes and just sink into the water was overwhelming.
She glanced around. Cal had gone out and wouldn’t be back for hours. No one else would see her. Even if someone walked past right outside the window, it was so dimly lit they probably wouldn’t even notice her. And her body was sore all over. A hot pool was exactly what she needed to ease the aches.
Grinning, Tilly pulled her top over her head, undid her bra, and pulled her pants down, leaving a pile of clothes far enough away from the pool that they wouldn’t get wet. Climbing in, she let out a satisfied groan as the heat soaked into her bones and the swishing water massaged her skin. It felt so amazing; she couldn’t understand why Cal had gone out instead of using it himself.
She closed her eyes and leaned her head back on a rock at the edge, letting her body float under the soothing water. It was the first relaxing moment she’d had in months. First, she’d been on the run, watching over her shoulder all the time. And after Veronica’s lackeys had finally caught up with her again a few months ago—and she’d been dragged back to L.A. for a little “therapy” with Veronica—the demands for help had started again. She hadn’t noticed the pain blocks Veronica had put inside her straightaway, not until she’d experienced a pain-filled day trying to ignore Veronica’s requests for her to transport a locked box to one of the Casino owners in Vegas. It had eventually become clear she was now an
other lackey to be used whenever they needed her. Or else.
Just do this one little thing for us, and you’ll be able to see your sister. All you have to do is go here and pick up something from this guy, and Kitten will be able to come stay with you for a while. Don’t you want to see your sister, Tilly?
It was sometimes hard to decide which was worse—running or being used.
But in the end, she knew the answer to that one. While she’d been on the run, she’d learned not talking to her sister and worrying about how they were treating her was worse. She’d put up with it for five of the worst months of her life, and it wasn’t how she wanted to live.
Which was why she was here, about to betray the only people who’d been unselfishly good to her in her entire life. Well, everyone except Cal.
She sighed and sank a little lower into the water, letting the bubbles flow over her body and feeling the soothing brush of liquid against her skin.
“Making yourself comfortable, I see.”
Tilly jumped and squealed at the same time. She looked up to see Cal watching her from the far side of the pool area, his swimming trunks clinging to his hips and a towel draped over one bare shoulder. She couldn’t read his expression in the muted light, but his voice was hard.
She pushed herself even farther under the bubbles and tried to hide behind one of the rocks poking out over the pool. “I… uh… I thought you were going out?”
“I changed my mind.” He was clearly annoyed with her.
Trying to calm her panicked breathing, Tilly reminded herself he’d said she could make herself comfortable. She glanced at where her clothes were scattered. She’d just made herself a little more comfortable than he’d expected.
Her mind went blank, and she could only watch as he walked toward the pool, dropped his towel, and stepped into the water. He sat as far away from her as possible. Frowning, he rubbed his hand over his face, then leaned his head back on a rock behind him and closed his eyes. If he’d noticed she was completely starkers, he didn’t say a word.
Tilly felt a small flicker of hope. Maybe he wouldn’t notice she was naked. Maybe he would get out soon. She sighed. And maybe some cute little pigs would fly past the window and wave at her.
She wondered how long she had before he opened his eyes and really looked at her. The bubbles were moving frantically, hiding her body for now, and she slid over slightly so she was next to a jet pumping out a patch of particularly dense foam, hoping that would help. There was also a fern in just the right place.
“I should have known you’d just make yourself at home,” Cal said softly, his eyes still closed. “That’s what you always did, wasn’t it? Made yourself at home in other people’s houses.” His posture looked relaxed, but his words weren’t.
Stung, Tilly forgot about the bubbles and sat up a little higher. “I spent time at other people’s houses because I thought I was welcome there. My mother…” Suddenly, she didn’t want to go on.
Cal knew exactly why she’d shadowed him when they’d been younger. Daphne Shaw wasn’t exactly what you’d call a good person. She’d always been more worried about herself and how she was going to make the Carnival work for her than her daughter Tilly. The little flashes of pain Tilly had experienced throughout her childhood—sometimes psychological, sometimes literal—gave her mother a buzz she couldn’t get anywhere else. Using curse magic had been almost inevitable, because Tilly’s mother wasn’t afraid to use those she was supposed to love for her own ends. She’d never been worried about Tilly or anyone else, including Kitten.
Tilly felt suddenly sick to her stomach. She needed to get Kitten away from her mother before she started using her little sister like she’d used Tilly.
“What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?”
Tilly clenched her fists under the water and tried to count to ten. It was an old trick she used to calm her temper. She gave up at about five. “You know very well what it was like for me, Cal. You can stop your badgering. Nothing has changed.”
“Why are you here, Tilly?”
“I needed somewhere to stay. That’s all.”
Cal lifted his head from the rock and narrowed his eyes at her. “No, that’s not it. There’s something else going on here. You’re hiding something. I could always tell. You’re a terrible liar.”
Tilly held her breath for a moment, wishing she could burst into tears. “I’m not lying. I’m just tired. It’s been a difficult couple weeks.” She took a deep breath and remembered something. “Anyway, you could never tell when I was lying. Remember the chicken incident?”
Cal blinked and then shook his head. “I knew something was off the whole time. It was only because you’d convinced Garth to go along with you that it worked out.”
Tilly laughed. “I knew how to convince you back then, no worries. There was the time Abba tried to make us all take elocution lessons…”
There was a moment of silence. Then Cal laughed as well. “I’d forgotten about that. He won in the end, though. He always did.” Cal’s eyes darkened. “You know what happened to him?”
Tilly nodded painfully. She knew. It still hurt to think of Abba dying like that in his truck. He should still be alive, should still be leading the Carnival around the circuit every summer. “He was a great man. I wish…” Tilly didn’t know what she wished. Probably, she would wish she didn’t know the people who were responsible and that her sister wasn’t still with them. But that would be a futile hope. They would always find her, and they would always know how to make her do what they wanted.
“What do you wish?”
Tilly swallowed. “I wish I’d been able to see him again,” she said. “He was always cool with us kids. Didn’t mind a bit of a laugh.”
Cal snorted. “I think it’s because he was pretty much the same as us when he was young. He wasn’t a hypocrite.”
“No, I guess not.” She cleared her throat. “How is everything with Rilla in charge?” She’d never been that close to Rilla, but she’d known her when they were kids.
“Rilla and Jack. And it’s good, better than it’s been in a while.”
Tilly frowned and asked the question she’d been wondering about all day. “How come you’re doing outside catering? We never used to do that in the old days.”
Cal sighed and leaned his head back against his rock again, closing his eyes and exposing the long line of his neck. “We need the money, so we’re all chipping in and helping. We can make a decent profit on catering, especially for weddings. People are prepared to pay an extortionate amount for the perfect day.”
“The Carnival never used to need money. Not like that.” Tilly tried not to watch the muscles on his shoulders rippling as he moved his hands gently around in the water. She failed.
“Times change, Tilly. Like you. You’re different from the girl I used to hang out with. You can cut onions like a pro and you don’t argue as much as you used to.” His voice softened. “You look like the world has beaten you down some.”
Old anger flashed through her. “What do you care?”
Cal’s eyes flicked open and he focused his intense gaze on her. “I used to care about you an awful lot. And then you left without even saying good-bye.” His voice hardened again.
“I didn’t have a chance to say good-bye. You were too busy bragging to Jago and Scar how you’d had sex with me in the forest.” It felt good to finally say the words out loud after carrying them around all these years. Tilly sucked in a shaky breath and watched his reaction.
Cal’s eyes widened. “What are you talking about?” He seemed authentically shocked.
“Did you think I wouldn’t find out? That you could talk about me all you wanted and it wouldn’t matter? If my mother hadn’t decided to leave that night, how do you think those boys would have treated me? Not with respect after the way you gabbed to them about us.” The pain was overwhelming, and tears pushed up her throat, demanding to be let out.
“Tilly… I don’t…” His expres
sion was confused, his eyes large on his face.
He didn’t even remember it. He’d broken her heart and it was all such a distant memory that he’d forgotten about it, while Tilly could remember the smells of the forest, the sounds of the birds in the trees, the exact clothes they’d been wearing.
Suddenly, she wished she hadn’t said anything. She realized she wasn’t strong enough to go through this as well as everything else. It felt like her heart was breaking all over again. “Forget it. Don’t worry about it.” She sank back into the pool, the hot water curling comfortingly around her body.
“No, you tell me right now, Tillemina Shaw.”
Tilly winced at the use of her full name. “That doesn’t work anymore, Cal.”
His voice softened. “Just tell me. What did you hear?”
It was his change in tone that did it. She couldn’t resist. “I heard you talking with them. They were asking you about us, how far we’d gone, what it was like. And you told them.”
“I don’t think…” Cal frowned.
His reply made her raise her eyebrows. “I heard you, Cal. I arrived early to the old stump, and you were already there with them. You were bragging about us. You told them you’d had me bare-assed in the forest, like you were talking about a goal you’d scored in basketball. It was only a few hours after our first time, and you were telling a couple of guys who weren’t even your good friends about us.”
Cal closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, she could see by the bleakness there he knew what she was talking about. “I’d forgotten. Your leaving was such a shock; it made me forget everything else.” He held out a hand as if to touch her, then pulled it back when he saw the look in her eyes. “I was just a kid, Tilly. I didn’t mean to tell them, but they kept asking. I knew it was wrong and I regretted it straightaway. I was going to tell you. I even went to your house first thing the next morning, but you’d already gone.”
Tilly just sat there watching him, not sure what to say.
