by Trudi Jaye
Cal’s warm glow came closer, enveloping her in the goodness that was his presence in this place. Tilly wanted to reject him, to tell him to get away from her, that she didn’t need him, but she was so afraid, so scared of what was going to happen now that the red light was free. She clung to him, let him cradle her against his light.
Her breath came in gasps, and Tilly tried to think past the terrible noise holding her ransom. She knew now she’d heard it before, when she’d first realized what Veronica had done to her.
At first, she’d tried to fight the block, determined to never give in to it. But she’d very quickly discovered the parameters. If she didn’t do as they asked, her mind and body was filled with unrelenting pain. If she did as they said, it wasn’t. She’d raged at it, pulled and pushed and tried to move the block. Tried to ignore it and do what she wanted. But it was too powerful, too well constructed—and it caused too much pain.
Now it was back but ten times worse than anything she’d ever experienced before. Tilly convulsed as another raging wave of pain crashed over her. It felt like the red light was eating at her, gnawing on her very essence.
She shouldn’t have let them do it. She knew that now. Nothing could beat her mother and Veronica. She’d allowed hope to sneak its way into her heart, and she should have known better.
A sob fought its way out of her mouth.
Just as she was about to give in to her panic, she felt the warmth of honey and spices flood her senses and a hand clinging tightly to hers. Cal’s glowing light was mingling with hers. He was making the red light, the pain, and the noise more bearable.
As she calmed down, she noticed Indigo was walking around, gathering the red light to her. Her light was shining brighter, and as she clutched each blood-red section to her chest, it would glow angrily for a moment, then disappear. She was killing off the red light.
Convulsions again shuddered through Tilly’s body. Cal’s warm glow tightened around her, keeping her calm, but he couldn’t cut out the pain and noise completely. Tilly took small gasping breaths, leaning into Cal’s light. The pain pulsed through her, quieter and less insistent. Tilly still felt weak, her light a dull glow. Her eyes became heavy, and all she wanted was to be in a place where she didn’t hurt. She no longer cared where that was or who was controlling her.
Just somewhere far away and peaceful.
Another warm presence came to stand at her side. Viktor. This close, she could see his light was a metal-grey color, with the scent of oil and sawdust.
He covered her other side, and the pain receded even more. Tilly’s eyes widened. She was coated in protective light from Cal and Viktor, and it was the difference she needed.
It seemed to take forever, Tilly shivering inside her protective cocoon, trying not to think about what Indigo might be seeing out there, Cal and Viktor standing strong around her. Cal’s protective light clasped her closer and stronger than Viktor’s. Rather than simply shield her, he seemed to mingle with her light until she couldn’t quite tell where he ended and she began. That was a whole other issue to worry about, but Tilly didn’t have the energy to do it now.
And then it was done. All the red light was gone. Tilly blinked and peered around her, tensed for the return of the screeching pain. Nothing happened.
Indigo walked back to them and nodded, her glow steady but much brighter, like she’d grown since they’d been here. She reached out with her light and touched them all.
Everything went black, and then Tilly was falling, her whole body spiraling downward into a gaping sea of nothing. Before she could scream, she landed with a thump back in her body, the cool cotton hospital sheets against her skin and the whirring of the air-conditioning letting her know she was in the hospital.
Tilly opened her eyes on a gasp of breath, and a great spasm curled across her body, making her back arch. It felt like she’d just taken her first breath after almost drowning.
Inhaling deep into her belly, Tilly glanced around her. Cal was still to one side, holding her hand and watching her intently. As soon as he saw her open her eyes, he squeezed her hand. Tilly squeezed back, relief flowing through her body at the sight of his familiar face.
Indigo had let go of her hand and was standing next to Viktor, conferring in whispers.
“Did it work?” Tilly croaked out of a parched throat.
Indigo and Viktor looked at her, but it was Indigo who spoke. “I believe so. There was so much of it. The process took far longer than I expected.” She looked drained, her face pale and drawn.
Even Viktor looked like he’d stayed too long on a fast-moving carousel. His face was white and his grizzled lines were more prominent.
“Was it bad?” she asked softly.
“It explains a few things about your actions,” replied Indigo.
Tilly’s heart skipped inside her chest. They knew everything now. She closed her eyes, leaned back into the pillow, and waited for the axe to fall.
“That thing was massive. There was no way you’d have been able to work against it on your own.”
Tilly blinked open her eyes. That wasn’t what she’d been expecting Indigo to say.
“We can talk ‘bout it later, when you’ve recovered some,” said Viktor, patting her hand. “Get some rest. You’ll need it.” He ushered Indigo out the door and, with one last glance in her direction, left the room.
Tilly watched them go, her heart thundering in her chest. What did that mean? What were they going to do with her?
“What now?” she whispered, not really expecting an answer. She jumped when Cal’s voice came from beside her.
“You’re going to stay with us. We’re going to keep you safe from your mother.”
Tilly’s eyes whipped over to Cal’s. “You don’t understand—”
“I do understand,” interrupted Cal. “You’ve got a sister you’ve been trying to protect, and they took advantage of that. The block was about trying to rein you in even more, to control you so you’d do their bidding. But you don’t have to do what they say anymore.” His voice was intense, passionate. He held her hand tightly, and Tilly realized he’d never let go, not since they’d been in the Carnival otherworld inside her head.
“But I have to go back… They’ll hurt her.”
Cal shook his head. “No, they won’t, not if they know what’s good for them. And we’ll get her out. I promise.”
Tilly wanted to believe him. She looked into his eyes and saw his determination. “They’re too strong. I’ve been trying for a long time to figure out a way to escape, and I couldn’t do it.”
“But now you’ve got us to help. We’re strong too.”
“Not as strong as the Carnival used to be. I can feel it,” whispered Tilly.
“We’re getting stronger every day. Hugo Blue managed to derail us, but he’s not a problem now. We’ll figure this out.”
“You don’t understand, Cal. Hugo Blue isn’t the person you need to be afraid of. He’s the small fish in their big pond, and they manipulated him into doing their dirty work. It’s my mother and her friends you need to worry about.”
Cal frowned. “What are you talking about?”
Tilly closed her eyes for a moment and thought about what she was considering doing. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes again, looking right at Cal’s familiar face, his warm skin, his beautiful eyes. She couldn’t do anything that would hurt him or the Carnival. She knew that now. She would tell them everything, even if it meant losing Cal. “You should call Viktor, Garth, and Indigo in here. Whoever else is here. There are a few things I need to tell you all.”
He paled. “You don’t have to do that. Just tell me and I’ll make sure the right people find out about it.” His hand gripped hers even tighter.
“I can’t hide from it, Cal. And they need to know this right away.” She thought of Kitten and vowed she would use every means at her disposal to get her sister away from them. Because by telling the Carnival folk, she was taking sides.
&
nbsp; CHAPTER NINE
“She did what?” Garth’s voice croaked. He and the others had crowded into the small hospital room, their faces solemn. She’d been surprised to see Cal’s mom there as well.
Tilly had to remind herself to breathe and clung to Cal’s hand. “My mother is the root of the problems the Carnival has now. Right from the start, from when we were here originally. I didn’t know it at the time… It was the best place ever to me. But in the years since we left, she’s told me things and I’ve overheard others. We left because Abba found out she was doing curse magic. She would have been thrown out if we hadn’t left when we did.”
“Your mother is responsible for everything?” Viktor was incredulous.
“She’s not in charge. It’s a woman called Veronica Snow. But my mother does whatever Veronica asks her to do. Including coming here and disrupting the balance of the Carnival when I was a kid.” Tears filled Tilly’s eyes. It was as bad as she’d thought it would be to tell them the truth.
“Why? What does this woman Veronica have to gain?”
“The weaker the blessings, the stronger the curses.”
There was silence as everyone absorbed that information.
“There’s something else. It’s big, and it’s part of the reason we left.” Tilly swallowed and looked at Garth. “I think… I think she killed Garth’s mom.”
Garth sat down abruptly, his face pale.
Tilly gripped Cal’s hand, and he squeezed back, trying to reassure her. But what could he do? She was telling them the terrible secrets she’d been hiding all this time. She was as culpable as her mother. She may as well have been the one to do it. They were going to hate her.
“But you didn’t leave until well after she died.” Viktor’s voice was sharp.
Tilly nodded. “My mother was working on Garth’s dad, Milton, trying to tip him over the edge. She was trying to convince him to give her the power of the Gift. I don’t know how, but she almost succeeded. Then something happened, and she got into a fight with Milton and Abba. That was the night we left.”
Tilly swallowed, glancing at Cal. “They have my little sister Kitten. And they’ve been making me do things for them ever since I came into my full powers when I was eighteen, not long after we left the Carnival. I tried everything to get away, but after Kitten was born and I realized I couldn’t leave her to be used by my mother, I went back to them for a while.” Tears leaked down Tilly’s face, and she used her free hand to wipe them away. “A few months ago, I got desperate again, and I ran, trying to find somewhere safe from them. But they just found me again and put in the block so I couldn’t hide, and I couldn’t say no. And Veronica took away my cooking ability out of spite.”
Tilly wiped one hand over her eyes. “And then two weeks ago, my mother rang and told me to quit my job and come here. To the Carnival.”
There was a burst of noise as everyone talked at once, trying to be heard. Tilly glanced over at Cal, and he squeezed her hand, solely focused on her. “I’m sorry, Cal,” she whispered.
He nodded. “I know, Tilly. It’s going to be okay.”
Tilly smiled weakly, but she didn’t believe him. It wasn’t going to be okay at all. She’d betrayed them, and she deserved everything she got.
CHAPTER TEN
Cal’s truck stopped outside his house, and Tilly frowned. “Are you sure you’re allowed to bring me back here?” She’d told them everything, and she’d half expected to land on her butt at the edge of town.
Cal nodded. “Garth said Rilla and Jack would be over this evening to tell us their decision.”
“But…” There were so many reasons they shouldn’t trust her, number one being Kitten. She’d still do anything for her sister.
“Just go with it, Tilly. For now, you’re safe here.”
Tilly sighed and climbed out of the truck. She followed him into the house and sat down at the kitchen table. Cal put a fresh cup of coffee in front of her, and she took a sip. The warmth of the beverage spread through her body, and she leaned back in her chair.
“What now?” she asked, tapping one finger on the tabletop.
“We wait.”
Tilly inhaled the smell of the coffee and gazed around the kitchen, taking in all the implements Cal had on the counters and hanging on the walls.
Her fingers twitched. “I’ve never been good at waiting. We need to cook.”
The churning inside her chest eased. She’d been waiting to say that for the entire day she’d been hanging around in the hospital since the block had been removed. She wanted to cook properly. To feel the magic flood through her veins as she mixed and stirred.
Cal grinned. “I thought you’d never ask. What do you feel like making?”
“Everything.” Tilly laughed.
They started simply. Tilly scoured the fridge and cupboard for ingredients and found enough to make a creamy fettuccine pasta dish, piling the ingredients on the bench top.
“What do you want me to do?” asked Cal.
Tilly flicked him a laughing glance. “You can do the onions.”
For the first time since they’d blocked her, Tilly could feel the hum of creativity inside her body. It was how she’d always felt as she put together ingredients, knowing without thinking what would taste good together and how to mix components the right way.
They chopped the vegetables side by side, and Tilly sighed. It felt so good to cook again. It felt even better to do it beside Cal.
“How long has it been since you actually cooked using magic?”
Tilly shrugged. “A few months. It feels like forever.” She let her talent go then, and it whirred into life, spreading out over the food and pushing feelings of well-being and happiness into the dish.
Cal finished up with the onions and leaned his hip against the bench top, just watching her as she worked.
She grinned, unable to hide the pure pleasure she felt at not having to hold back. Her fear was gone, replaced by euphoria that was spilling over into the food she cooked.
Tilly placed a frying pan on the stovetop and began the delicate process of creating the perfect creamy sauce. As she pinched and poured, stirred and tasted, she was aware of Cal’s gaze, the heat in his eyes as he watched her. Desire washed over her body, and she flushed from more than the heat of the stovetop. When he moved closer, placing his large body behind hers and putting one hand around her waist, she held her breath, then exhaled in a rush.
She gathered a spoonful of the sauce and leaned to one side to hold it up to his mouth. “You can be my taster,” she said softly.
He put his lips to the metal spoon and sipped the mixture, his eyes closing for a moment. “Hmmmm. That is the best sauce I’ve ever tasted,” he said.
His eyes met hers, and she turned in his arms. Their lips met, and she tasted the peppery cheese of the pasta sauce on his tongue. It felt like happiness and desire and heated her body even more. Somehow, she was weaving her need for Cal into the sauce she was making. She leaned into the kiss, deepening it, pushing her body closer to his.
He was the one who eventually pulled back. “We should finish the food. You went to all that trouble,” he said, laughing softly, his forehead pressed against hers.
Tilly nodded silently, turning to stir the sauce. After putting the thick strips of pasta she’d found in Cal’s fridge into boiling water, she added oil and salt and then turned back to the sauce.
She pulled it all together in minutes, the perfect al dente pasta with a delicate creamy sauce. She plated two servings and then sat next to Cal at the table.
“Wine?” he asked.
Tilly shook her head. “I already feel a little giddy. I don’t think I need anything else.”
Cal wrapped the fettuccine around his fork, and instead of putting it in his mouth, he held it out to Tilly’s. She paused in the process of twirling her own pasta and opened her mouth to the sample on his fork.
Taste burst across her tongue, and her eyes widened. Emotion washed over her, a
mix of desire, yearning, and delight. She rode the wave for a moment before holding her fork up to Cal’s mouth. His eyes met hers as he closed his lips around her fork.
She watched the emotions playing over his face as he sampled the food, and she saw the same sense of wonder she’d felt. She twisted another small serving around her fork and held it up to his mouth. He took it without comment, watching her as he savored the pasta, the heat in his eyes making her burn.
“Hmmmm,” he said. “That tastes amazing. Like you.” He leaned forward and kissed her softly, his lips teasing hers. Then he gathered her to him, pulling her onto his lap. She tasted the sauce on his lips and shivered as sensation flowed through her body.
He picked out a single sauce-covered strand of fettuccine and held it over her mouth. Tilly tilted back her head, and he slowly wound the small pasta string down into her mouth until she was licking the remaining sauce off his thumb, her tongue curling around his finger hungrily. He put his hand to her face and pulled her in to kiss her fiercely. Tilly could barely think.
Cal pulled back slightly, and his hands went to the buttons on her shirt. He released them one by one, pulling aside the material. His large hands touched the sides of her breasts, lightly brushing against the lacy material of her bra.
Tilly shrugged out of her shirt and then pulled at the bottom of his T-shirt, pulling it over his head. He found the clip at the back of her bra, and soon that was on the floor with their shirts and his hands were on her breasts, his thumbs flicking over her nipples as they hardened under his touch.
Cal pulled her to her feet and lifted her to sit on the table. He found another string of fettuccine and sauce and laid it across her chest, then followed the line of the pasta with his tongue, eating it as he licked the sauce from her body and sampled her breasts. Tilly moaned and leaned back her head, giving in to the heady sensations coursing through her body.
When he eased away, she opened her eyes, intending to protest, but Cal was just putting their half-empty plates on the counter. He came straight back and pulled off her jeans as well as her lacy panties. His gaze roved hungrily over her body like it was a dessert he was dying to sample. Then he leaned down to take her erect nipple into his mouth. She shuddered as a wave of desire hit her hard, ending with a fierce heat between her legs. She wanted him inside her. No, she needed him inside her; she’d always needed him.
