“Jayden, meet Indie.” Ryder pointed at Indie, who was staring with a shy smile on her lips.
“Hi,” they both said at the same time and started laughing. Yeah, these two were going to get along great. They were already making eyes at each other. I looked at Ryder when Indie and Jayden started having their own conversation. He was leaning against the wall typing on his phone.
“Wanna dance?” I asked hopefully, gesturing towards the makeshift dance floor in the middle of the living room. I needed to get him to do something to talk me—or anything.
“No.”
“Wanna go for a walk?”
“No.”
“Sit outside? Skinny dip? Play strip poker? Anything?”
“No, I’m fine.” He rolled his eyes. “Just have fun with Indie.”
“Well, I would but she’s off having fun with Jayden on the dance floor,” I hissed at him. He was making me angry now. It was his idea to come to this stupid party where I only talked to him, Indie and Jayden and now he was ignoring me. Ryder’s eyes widened briefly as he looked up from his phone, scanning the room until he saw Indie and Jayden dancing together.
“Nice, Jayden,” he muttered with a small smile on his perfect lips before turning back to his phone.
“You know what? Fine. I’m going.” I threw my hands in the air dramatically as I turned and began pushing my way through the crowd of people. I could feel tears prickling at the back of my eyes and I hoped like hell I didn’t run into Chace or Christina right then. I finally made my way to the door and outside. The fresh air was welcome on my skin after being in the crowded house full of hot sweaty bodies.
I knew I shouldn’t be upset at Ryder for being like this. There was obviously something bothering him but it still hurt that he’d dragged me to this party and then practically ignored me since we left my house. I couldn’t figure out what I did wrong. Dammit! None of this would have bothered me a couple of weeks ago. I was blissfully ignorant of my feelings for him and now look what they had done to me. This was such a mess. I was finally starting to feel happy again but now I felt like crying—all because Ryder freaking Jones didn’t want to dance.
That was not good. A revenge relationship was such a bad idea.
“Bailey.” I heard his voice call out from the front yard realising that I’d begun walking down the street. “Bailey, wait,” he called again.
I didn’t want to wait. I just wanted to go home and be left alone with my misery. I needed to end it. I needed to finish it right then. If I didn’t, I knew I would be left heartbroken later down the track and it would be so much worse than Chace. I knew my feelings for Ryder were different from the feelings I’d had for Chace and this fake relationship could only end badly for me. Best to do it soon before it got any harder.
“Bailey, please stop. Where are you going?” I stopped and turned to face him. He reached out to touch me but hesitated. Instead, he ran his hands through his hair and put them back in his pockets.
“Home, Ryder. I’m going home.” I blinked back the tears that were threatening to escape. I couldn’t let him see me crying over him.
“Why? We just got here.” He had no idea. He didn’t know that I was afraid of losing him, that I was upset because he was acting weird, and that I liked him.
“Why don’t you go back inside and continue ignoring everyone while you text on your phone?[AL21] I’m not going back in there to stand around by myself.” I turned and kept walking down the street. Feelings suck.
“I don’t know what your damn problem is all of a sudden, Bailey, but snap out of it and get back inside the house. You can’t walk home alone and I’m not leaving yet.” His words were harsh but his voice was gentle and soothing. He was such a complicated person.
“You, Ryder. You’re my problem. You’ve barely said five words to me since we left home. You won’t look at me or come near me. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong and I don’t care now. This was a bad idea,” I shouted.
“What was a bad idea? Coming to the party? Fine. You want to go? Let’s go.” Ryder grabbed my arm, finally touching me, and turned me around dragging me back toward his car.
“Ryder, let me go.” I shrugged his hand off me. He stopped and kicked the fence in Chace’s front yard.
“What, Bailey? What do you want? Shit. I’m so confused right now.” What was he confused about? He was the one confusing one.
“You’re confused? What about how confused I am? I have no idea what I did to you to make you ignore me tonight.”
“I’m sorry, okay. I shouldn’t have been ignoring you but it was just easier than dealing with—” He stopped talking and looked away from me. “Please, Bailey, can we go inside?”
“No. It was easier than dealing with what, Ryder? What don’t you want to deal with?” Can’t deal with me? He wanted to end it. I knew it.
“Nothing. Just forget it.” He shook his head and scuffed his shoes on the ground.
“Okay, well maybe we should just stop this, Ryder. End it. If you’re finding it too hard to deal with whatever you won’t tell me and I’m falli… I’m, I…Let’s just end it now. Fake break up and whatever.” I closed my eyes and turned away so he couldn’t see me crying because it felt so much like a real breakup, not a fake one.
“What? No, Bailey. Why would you even suggest that?” He grabbed my shoulders and turned me to face him. “I don’t want to fake break up with you.”
“See, Ryder. I’m so confused. I don’t know what you want? You can’t deal with me, so why bother continuing?” [AL22] I was trying to make a clean break and he was still trying to hold on. Why wouldn’t he let me go? He could go back to his normal life and I could go back to...well, I could go back to the bookstore.
“I heard you talking to your mother,” he murmured. “That’s why I’m…I don’t know...”
“What? Ryder, what you talking—”
“Fuck!” he shouted, pulling his hair before suddenly grabbing my face between his hands and slamming his mouth to mine.
***
When Ryder and I returned to Chace’s house after our fight, we went looking for Indie and Jayden and found them outside by the pool with a few other people from school. Indie was well on the way to trashed. I wasn’t sure how much she’d already had to drink but she needed to slow down. She seemed in good spirits, though, laughing with the group of friends we used to hang around with—Jayden by her side.
I hadn’t spoken to anyone since Chace and I broke up, and Indie had stopped talking to everyone once she became my friend again, so I didn’t know what to think as we approached the small group sitting with them.
“Hey, Bailey, Ryder. How’s it going?” Greg was the first to speak to us, followed by Tom, Lizzie, and Anna. It was strange. They just included Ryder and me in their conversation like the few months hadn’t happened and like Ryder was always part of their in group.
I was uncomfortable and didn’t know if it was a plan set up by Christina to do something to me. It wouldn’t have surprised me if it was. She had been glaring at me all night. But Ryder never left my side, always touching me in some way, keeping me calm like he always did. He even made Jayden go in and gets us drinks as we sat around talking and laughing.
Unfortunately for Indie, Jayden made his excuses and left early. Something about a family commitment in the morning. I could tell how disappointed she was that he had to leave but the look of excitement on her face when he asked for her number was priceless.
I finally started to relax when I realised that those guys were not going to bring up my breakup with Chace or mine and Ryder’s relationship. It was not something I wanted to discuss. However, the next thing I knew, a cold, sticky liquid was being poured down my back.
“Oops, sorry. Didn’t see you there.” I turned to see Christina standing behind me with her margarita glass tipped in her hand. She’d poured her drink over me. The stupid bitch.
“What is your problem?” I stood up and faced Christina, knocking her glass ou
t of her hand.
“Ooh, bitch fight.” I heard Indie giggle into her beer. And then, before I knew it, punches were thrown, nails were scratching, and hair was being pulled. We were rolling around on the ground trying to beat the crap out of each other until Ryder had the sense to pull me off her and drag me inside kicking and screaming. All the hurt and anger I had been feeling toward Christina had just exploded out of me.
“That stupid bitch. I’m going to kill her. Let me go, Ryder.” I screamed and struggled out of his arms until he finally got me into the bathroom.
“Calm down, love. It’ll be okay. Relax. Don’t worry about her. She’s not worth it.” Ryder’s voice was soft and slow while he attempted to calm me down. He brushed the hair out of my face and lifted me up so I was sitting on the counter.
“Okay, better?” he asked, while pulling out a washcloth and wetting it under the tap.
I nodded and looked in the mirror. “Look at me. I’m a mess. My top is ruined. That stupid fuc—” I stopped talking when Ryder threaded his fingers into my hair and pressed his lips to mine, stepping in between my legs.
“That fight was so freaking hot,” he mumbled against my mouth.
“Yeah?”
“You got in some good hits.” He stepped back and began rubbing the washcloth over my face and kissing me again. His lips followed the trail of the fabric, kissing every inch of skin on my neck and shoulders as he washed away all traces of dirt and margarita. And that was when things got a little out of control.
My legs were wrapped around Ryder’s waist. I made him groan as I brought my lips down to his again. I slid my tongue into his mouth. My hands were roaming everywhere—pulling on his hair, cupping his face, tracing his chest, unbuttoning his shirt—I couldn’t get enough of him and it seemed he felt the same way. I just wanted him as close as possible. My shirt ended up on the floor in a sticky pile as Ryder wet the cloth again and continued washing my skin, my back, my chest and my stomach, never once breaking our kiss unless it was to pepper kisses along my chest or down my stomach.
It was the hottest sponge bath I could have ever imagined. So hot, in fact, that neither of us noticed when the bathroom door opened.
“What the hell?” Chace’s voice interrupted us and we pulled away breathing heavily. I closed my eyes and wished for Chace to leave. But he didn’t. Instead, he stepped into the bathroom with us and started calling me names and demanding to know what we were doing.
A crowd of people began to gather outside the door ready to see another fight while I tried to cover the fact I was only wearing a bra and skirt and had my legs wrapped around a shirtless Ryder. Not an image I wanted half the senior class to see.
Ryder reached over for a towel and handed it to me so I could wrap it around myself while Chace continued his tirade, calling me a slut, a whore, easy, desperate, pathetic—and those were just the nice ones. Ryder turned and told him to shut his mouth or he’d regret it but Chace continued and that was how that fight started.
Ryder shoved Chace out the bathroom door and pushed him into the spectating crowd of students, who shoved him back at Ryder. Punches were thrown again. Chace tackled Ryder and knocked him down to the ground but somehow, I couldn’t quite see from where I was in the bathroom, Ryder managed to get out from Chace’s grip and pin him to the ground. Not wanting to put a sticky margarita-soaked top back on, I hurriedly threw Ryder’s shirt on over my bra and pushed my way through the crowd until I got to the fight. I watched Ryder throw a couple of punches before kneeling down beside Chace’s head.
“Jones, baby, calm down, that’s enough. He’s had enough.” Ryder stopped throwing punches instantly and looked up at me.
“You sure?” he asked.
“Yeah.” I laughed and stood up, pulling him with me.
We made our way back downstairs and into the backyard where Indie was chugging a beer.
“Hey, we’re heading off. You coming?” I asked her. She shook her head.
“Nah, I’m going to hang here a bit longer.” I didn’t like the idea of leaving her at the party alone when she was so drunk but no matter how much I tried to convince her to come with us, she wouldn’t. The only thing stopping me from full-on panicking was that she was at least with Greg and Lizzie and I couldn’t imagine them letting her get into too much trouble.
XVII.
Chace’s party was the turning point. It changed everything. It set in motion a series of events creating some sort of butterfly effect that I never imagined would occur and it all started with that fight. The fight that led to that kiss, which resulted in another fight, that led to that crazy hot make-out session, which led to yet another fight, that caused a shift in the social structure of our school. Ultimately leading me to where I was a week and a half later—sitting under the tree outside the cafeteria like we always did. Only it was still just Indie and me as Ryder was away.
“When’s he back?” Indie asked, kicking off her shoes and laying back in the sun.
“Uhmmm, I don’t know. After Easter some time.” I shook my head. It was two weeks until Easter break. I started pulling out blades of grass and watched them blow away in the breeze as I thought about Ryder
Ryder had taken off the day after Chace’s party. After our fight. After our kiss. He’d told me it was a family emergency and that he had to leave town for a few days but he’d be back as soon as he could. He’d texted a couple of times to see how things were and to make sure I hadn’t changed my mind about our fake breakup. I just kept telling him we’d discuss it when he got back, to which he would always apologise for not being there and not being back before Easter.
Although I couldn’t help but think that something had changed between us at the party when he kissed me during our fight, I knew that I needed to distance myself from him because I would only end up getting hurt in the end. That kiss was a total contradiction, just like Ryder was. It was rough and intense and passionate. I could feel his anger and frustration. But at the [AL23] same time, it was sweet and gentle and caring. His tongue had swirled around my mouth hungrily while his fingertips had lightly danced along my shoulders and down my spine before pulling my body as close to his as possible. My knees had buckled and I nearly collapsed but his strong arms held me up as he laughed against my lips, pulling away slightly.
I’d become so lost in him at that moment and I’d forgotten all about our fight and needing to end things and could only think about kissing him again and again. I had let myself imagine what it would be like if things were real between us, which wasn’t hard since he hadn’t let me out of his sight or his reach for the rest of the night.
“Well, I hope for Ryder’s sake Chace has calmed down by the time he gets back. He’s out for Ryder’s blood,” Indie said. I had to suppress a chuckle.
“I don’t think that will be a problem, In.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. I don’t know what I was thinking. Chace is a douche and won’t do jack to get back at him.” She started laughing.
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that but Ryder can handle himself pretty well. Christina, on the other hand, who knows what she’s capable of?”
“I know. I can’t believe he broke Chace’s nose. He’s been whining like a little bitch since the party. And Christina will definitely have something planned.”
“So how are things going with Jayden and what’s Linc been like?” I needed to change the subject to something other than Ryder. Talking about everything just made me miss him even more.
“Jayden’s great. We’ve been texting. And Linc…well, he’s Linc.” Indie shrugged with a smile but I didn’t miss the sadness in her eyes.
After Ryder and I had left the party and Indie had decided to stay, she drank way too much and got to the point that she couldn’t stand. Somehow she’d managed to lock herself safely in a bedroom and call Linc. Like always, Linc had gone running to her rescue. He was like her big brother.
“He’s acting all weird because he let me stay the night.” He’
s worried that my brother or my parents will find out I slept at his house. But really, where else could I have gone? He couldn’t have taken me home in the condition I was in. He stayed to look after me and let me stay in his bed, Bailey. His bed. With him!” she squealed. It was like a dream come true for her. Her knight in shining armour coming to her rescue and letting her stay the night.
“Well, I understand why he might be worried about them finding out,” I said. She looked at me all confused. “Do you think your parents or your brother would be okay with you sleeping in a bed with a twenty-year-old?”
“But it’s Linc. Not a random.”
“Still.”
“Hey guys, mind if we sit?” I looked up and saw Greg and Lizzie standing beside the tree smiling nervously as they interrupted our conversation. I was never going to get through to her. No matter how hard she tried, she was always going to be off limits to Linc. He valued hers and her brother’s friendship more than anything.
“Uhmmm.” I turned to look at Indie, who just shrugged in confusion. “I guess.”
“Great, thanks.” Lizzie smiled and sat next to me.
“So what are you sitting with us for and not with the robots inside?” Indie asked, sitting up and staring at Greg and Lizzie. Straight to the point, Indie. Well done.
“If I have to listen to Chace or Christina go on one more time about how you and Ryder will regret it, I will punch them both myself,” Greg said.
“They are driving us crazy. All they can talk about is you and Ryder. Whether it’s about the fights or just you guys being in a relationship in general. It’s draining. Christina is such a bitch. I can’t believe I didn’t see it before. And Chace. Don’t even get me started.” Lizzie complained about them, making both Indie and I laugh.
“Look, we just want to apologise to you, Bailey, for the way we’ve behaved. We knew what Chace and Christina did to you was wrong and we wish that we’d never picked a side. We really do regret ignoring you and we hope you can forgive us and maybe we can be friends again.” Greg apologised. I was tempted to say: No, go screw yourselves. You all ditched me for them. But I had forgiven Indie and I understood how hard it could be to go against the hierarchy in a school where social status meant everything. It would have been social suicide had anyone picked me.
Need You (Unrequited #1) Page 13
