by A. M. Myers
“What else is going on, Travis? I can tell that something is bothering you.”
“We, uh…” he whispers, laying his head back against the bed. “We have a lot to talk about, baby.”
I remember telling him I love him before I passed out and my stomach drops as I nod. “Right.”
This is it.
This is the moment that he ends things and I’m trapped in a hospital bed.
“Um… about what I said… we can just pretend I didn’t… I mean, I know this… between us… is casual and…”
He sits up, cutting off my words, and leans over me, pressing a soft, adoring kiss against my lips. I sigh, my eyes closing as I cup his cheek and lose myself in it. If this is going to be the last time, I want to savor every second of it. When he pulls back, he flashes me a smile but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“I love you, too, Rowan… even though I shouldn’t.”
I balk. “What do you mean you shouldn’t?”
“Listen,” he sighs, lying back in the bed as his body tenses and he cups my cheek like it brings him some level of comfort. “I haven’t been completely honest with you… about me… and I’m not good for you, Row. You deserve so much better than what I can give you.”
“What in the hell are you talking about?”
He sighs. “It’s kind of a long story…”
“Then start at the beginning,” I snap as my mind races and my heart thunders in my chest.
What is happening right now?
Is he breaking up with me?
Does he really love me?
“Okay… the beginning… I guess the beginning is when I was born.”
My eyes widen but I don’t dare say a word, silently encouraging him to keep talking. His hand shakes against my face and I grip it with my hand, holding him steady. He takes another deep breath.
“My dad… he was never what you would call warm and honestly, he never really even gave me the time of day but I never knew any different so it wasn’t that big of a deal.”
I open my mouth but he looks down at me and shakes his head.
“Just let me get this out before you ask anything, okay?”
“Okay,” I whisper.
“When I was fifteen, my mom picked me up from school one day and all of our shit was in the back seat. She said we were leaving my dad and I didn’t ask any questions, you know? I guess I didn’t really care because he and I never really had a relationship. Anyway, we got a little apartment in the next town over and we went on living our lives. When I turned eighteen, I wanted answers from my dad about why he was the way he was so I drove over to the house. He wasn’t there but I was determined to have it out with him so I sat in my car for hours, waiting for him to return but when he did…” His voice breaks and I glance up at him, my chest aching at the pain all over his face.
“What, Travis?”
He shudders. “When he came back, I watched him pull a woman’s body out of the trunk of his car. I was so fucking horrified that I couldn’t move and I just sat there, watching him, as he took her into the garage and closed the door.”
My chest feels tight as his story plays out in my mind and I look up at him, the man I love with every single cell in my body and a tear streaks down my cheek. He glances down at me and his face crumples as he wipes it away and presses his lips to my forehead.
“I was already pretty good at all of the computer stuff back then,” he says, holding me tighter as he continues. “So I started a full-blown investigation into my father and the things I saw… the things he has done… they still haunt me to this day, baby.”
I tip my head back and press my hand to his cheek, pulling his gaze down to me. “Tell me.”
“I… can’t. I’ve never fucking told anyone about this except the police and you… you are my shelter from all of this shit. I can’t put this in your head.”
I nod in understanding. “Then tell me what happened next.”
“It was all an incredibly slow process but over the next year, I managed to collect enough evidence of his crimes to go to the police. I showed them everything I had, everything that proved my father had started killing women who looked just like my mother two months after she left him, and then I waited for them to make their move and arrest him.”
“And did they?” I ask, my stomach churning and he nods.
“Yeah, they did… but not before he came after his true target – my mother.”
I gasp, more tears falling down my cheeks. “He killed your mom?”
“Yes,” he whispers, his voice barely audible as he nods his head before burying it in my hair again and my heart cracks wide open, breaking for him as I cling to his body, wishing I could provide him with something more.
“Oh, baby… I’m so sorry.” I try to move but the stupid arm cast gets in my way and I cry out as pain shoots through my shoulder. Travis’s head jerks up, his red rimmed eyes meeting mine and he leans down, claiming my lips in a kiss that screams of his pain. When he pulls back and presses our foreheads together, I close my eyes and release a breath.
“What does all of this have to do with us, though? Why do you think you shouldn’t love me?”
He rolls his forehead across mine and tension fills the air as I hold my breath, waiting for him to answer me. I honestly can’t see any reason why this would change anything between us but I know this is his issue.
“I used to think I was in danger of becoming just like my dad, you know? Like one day I would just snap and start hurting people but my dad, he enjoyed what he did, and if the way I feel now after killing Evan is any indication, I’m not the same as him.”
I jerk back, meeting his gaze as I narrow my eyes. “Of course you’re not like him, Travis…”
“I agree but that doesn’t mean I’m not still damaged goods, baby. I’ve seen truly awful shit that would send most people into a corner to rock back and forth and I’m a moody fucking bastard sometimes and I lash out. I’m not the kind of man you deserve.”
“I don’t give a shit,” I seethe, shaking my head as I smack my hand over his heart. “I love you, Travis. All of you, every single piece – moody bastard or not. You’ve stolen my heart completely and I don’t want anyone else. Just you.”
His brow furrows. “How can you say that? Knowing who I am, where I come from?”
“Who you are? Travis, that’s what made me fall in love with you. You try to hide it but you’re so incredibly kind and sweet, you stand up for what is right and people who cannot stand on their own, you make me laugh every single day and you’re the one person I want to see when I’m happy, sad, angry, scared, annoyed… how can you think that what you’ve just told me changes any of that? If anything, I love you more now.”
“What?” he whispers, searching my eyes for any dishonesty but he won’t find it. This man lying in bed next to me is everything I want and more and there is no way his past is ever going to change any of that. The wariness flashing through his gaze kills me and I press my hand to his cheek again, dragging him down to me until his lips press to mine. He sighs and pulls me closer while being careful not to hurt me as the tension slowly seeps out of his body. When he pulls back, he beams at me, his eyes brighter and clear for the first time in weeks. “You really love me, huh?”
I nod as I laugh. “I really do.”
“Fuck me.” His voice is full of wonder as he falls back onto the bed and I laugh again, cuddling into his side. He presses a kiss against the top of my head and I close my eyes, reveling in the feeling of peace surrounding us. “So… what now?”
“Huh?”
He props himself up on his elbow and meets my gaze, wiggling his eyebrows. “Well, you love me and I love you so based on my vast experience in this area and what I’ve witnessed around the clubhouse, I suppose we have to get married now.”
“Uh, hold up.” I giggle, shaking my head at his playful expression. “I think we start with a nice, normal date. Remember, like we talked about?”
Nod
ding, he leans down and steals a quick kiss. “Yeah, I remember, Princess, and it sounds like the best fucking thing I’ve ever heard.”
Note from the author:
Hey! I ran into a bit of a time crunch with this book and didn’t have time to finish the epilogue before the book had to be uploaded to the ‘Zon but you can click the link below to download your copy!
Thank you and I hope you loved Travis and Rowan’s story.
https://dl.bookfunnel.com/92cozqdr81
Also, if you are head over heels in love with the Devils
and you need to know what happens next for the club,
you can pre-order book one of the Bayou Devils MC: Second Generation series by clicking the link below!
readerlinks.com/l/1051740
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Other Books by A.M. Myers
The Hidden Scars Series
Hidden Scars:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B014B6KFJE
Collateral Damage:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01G9FOS20
Evading Fate:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01L0GKMU0
Bayou Devils MC Series
Hopelessly Devoted:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MY5XQFW
Addicted To Love:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07B6RPPPV
Every Breath You Take:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07DPNTV2G
It Ends Tonight:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07JL4FJ18
Little Do You Know:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07M812N1T
Never Let Me Go:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07NWWN2VJ
Every Little Thing:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07XFGC82J
Wicked Games:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07YL8NFQR
About the Author
A.M. Myers lives in Cody, Wyoming – a little town about an hour away from Yellowstone National Park – with her husband and their two boys. She has been writing for most of her life and even had a poem nationally published in the sixth grade but the idea of writing an entire book always seemed so daunting until a certain story got stuck in her head and wouldn’t leave her alone until she started typing. Now, she can’t imagine a time when she won’t be letting all of the stories in her head spill out onto paper.
A.M. Myers writes emotional, gripping romantic suspense novels that will leave you swooning and hanging off the edge of your seat from start until finish. When she is not writing, you can usually find her up in the mountains with her boys, camping, fishing and taking photos of the beautiful landscape she is lucky enough to call home.
