by Cassie Rocca
What was so exciting about forcing her to give in to temptation?
While pondering all this, she inadvertently smelled the cake on her hand, and couldn’t help sighing. She stopped just outside the bedroom Zack had assigned them, where Justin had already been asleep for a while, and observed the yellow crumbs and cream on her hand.
Zack’s words echoed in her head.
“Try not to lick your fingers, if you can help it! You have no idea what you’re missing, though…”
She knew that she wanted to lick her fingers more than anything else, and the realisation made her desperate. Smashing his precious cake in his face had been so satisfying… but now all her pride seemed to have vanished.
“Try not to lick your fingers, if you can help it!”
Of course she could! She had managed to resist her cravings for sugar for over a decade!
“You have no idea what you’re missing, though…”
“Damn it!” she whispered, and raised her fingers to her lips.
That house was full of the same sweet perfumes she used to smell in Zack’s house when they were young. That, and all the talking about the old times had allowed old memories to resurface, and together with them she had started feeling the same sensations that she used to feel as a teenager.
She wanted to fully remember those moments, to feel the way she used to back then, even if only for a few seconds… And without anyone watching.
When she finally did taste the cream on her hand, she couldn’t help moaning with pleasure.
She had to admit that she’d felt the urge to eat all of that soft, gorgeous looking cake as soon as she saw it, because it looked fantastic. Now that she was actually tasting it though, she realized it was far better than she had imagined.
Zack wasn’t just a hard working and creative apprentice anymore – he had become a real master pastry chef.
Which was really scary.
She remembered how easily she could start becoming addicted to his food – and to him. He was dangerous company for a woman who needed to fight her addiction to calories and who didn’t want to have anything to do with complicated emotions. She was dedicated to refusing anything that could potentially hold power over her: it was the best way to avoid any eventual rejection. For years she had been able to keep focused, but a few hours with Zack had ruined everything.
She couldn’t dwell on those thoughts and doubts any longer. She went into the bedroom and tiptoed quickly to the bathroom, where she finally rinsed away the rest of the cake and washed her hands and teeth very thoroughly. Water and soap could take away the smell and the taste of Zack’s cake from at least four of her five senses.
She climbed into bed very quietly next to Justin, who apparently didn’t even notice, pulled the covers up to her chin and hoped to fall asleep as soon as possible.
But it was too hard… Zack’s words were still echoing in her mind.
“So you’ve changed completely. And are you happy with the result? I’m not completely convinced it’s an improvement, if I have to be honest.”
How dare he say something so rude? She had worked extremely hard on her body and on her personality in an attempt to make them more pleasing to other people… How dare he just wipe out all her efforts and destroy all her work in an instant?
She hadn’t changed to please him, of course, and her goal had certainly not been to become the most beautiful woman on earth. She didn’t even want to take any stupid revenge. She just wanted to finally be attractive, and now she knew that she was. If she had always looked the way she looked now, Zack’s friends would never have bullied her, and even he would probably have behaved quite differently towards her.
And now that men in the street actually stopped in their tracks and turned to look at her, Zack thought that she had gotten worse?
Was he joking!
Her headache reappeared, together with her hunger. She had hardly eaten anything since she had arrived in Cape May, and even though she didn’t usually eat much, she wasn’t used to fasting either.
Well it serves you right! You shouldn’t be so damn stubborn! said her conscience, which chose that moment to pop up again.
I am not giving him the satisfaction! her subconscious replied. Her stomach, in the meanwhile, complained and rumbled loudly.
She decided that the next day she would convince Justin to visit some restaurants. Her friends had planned a tour of the town anyway, so she could take advantage of not being in the house so she could get something to eat. Anywhere would do. It seemed like a good plan, and if everything went well, she would be able to get back to New York without tasting anything else prepared by Zack Sullivan.
That night she didn’t manage to sleep much, though, and in the morning the idea of hanging around the town with the rest of the gang, including Zack, was much less appealing than it had seemed the previous evening.
When she woke up, Justin was coming back into the room. He had probably been awake for a while already.
“You’re finally awake! I was just wondering how come you were still sleeping – that’s very unusual for you. Everybody is already downstairs for breakfast. Are you coming?”
Liberty tried to sit up in bed, but fell back down. “I’m feeling too weak to get up.”
“Are you not feeling okay?”
“My head is killing me,” she complained, trying to protect her eyes from the sun with a hand.
“You want me to tell your friends to put off the tour to this afternoon?”
“No, there’s no need. You should go, and I’ll stay here and rest. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
“Shall I stay here and keep you company?”
Being on her own in the house would be a great relief, she realized, so she forced herself to smile. “There’s no need, really. You should enjoy our last day here, otherwise you’ll never decide if you like the place and if you prefer it over Long Beach and Martha’s Vineyard!”
“Are you sure that you’re okay with being alone?”
“Yeah, absolutely. You tell the others I’m staying in bed, and apologize to them for me. And please make sure our host is okay about leaving me alone in his house.”
Justin said nothing else, just kissed her on her forehead and went away. Liberty went back to sleep.
She was sure that spending some time on her own in that wonderful house would do her good. And without Zack she would find it easier to relax. She was already planning to go work on the beach – she was certain that the sea would inspire some good ideas for Sandra Geller’s story.
Before doing anything, though, she needed a couple of aspirins to deal with her throbbing headache.
After about half an hour, she could no longer hear anybody talking downstairs. The only noise in the house came from the sea.
She sighed, stretched out her arms and legs under the linen, and then stood up to look at the beach. She was sorry that she wouldn’t be enjoying her friends’ company during that weekend, but seeing Zack had just been too upsetting. She was always very careful not to dwell too much on her past, and hadn’t been at all prepared to face such an unexpected shock.
Wearing a pair of pyjama bottoms and a t-shirt, she went downstairs, gripping the bannister firmly and walking very slowly. Her legs were feeling a bit shaky, which really annoyed her: she didn’t want to have to admit that Zack might be right, but apparently giving up food completely hadn’t been a particularly wise decision.
She headed towards the kitchen, her aspirins in her hand. The whole house was silent and illuminated by the sun, which made the furnishings look even more beautiful. She felt like she sort of belonged to the place, now that the real owner wasn’t there… If she had a house like that, she would probably have spent almost every weekend far away from the city, she thought. She never took a vacation, but being there was a reminder of how good it was to dedicate some time exclusively to herself occasionally.
The kitchen still smelled of pancakes and Liberty’s stomach starte
d rumbling loudly. She grunted and opened the fridge in search of some orange juice. She wanted to get out of that place as soon as possible. Zack wasn’t there, but his presence was palpable, and visible: there were delicious smells and mysterious covered dishes everywhere.
She wondered if he was still able to make those fabulous pancakes… She had a vivid memory of the day he had learned how to make them, and if she closed her eyes she could almost taste them in her mouth…
You only need to hold out for another few hours, she repeated to herself inside her mind like a mantra. Soon you’re going to be far away from here. She really needed to get back to her busy life and to her bland, sugar free meals as soon as possible.
She found a beaker and poured some juice into it with trembling hands, then swallowed her pills and pressed the cool glass to her forehead for a moment, hoping to get some relief from the pain.
You overthink things, said her conscience accusingly.
If I didn’t think so much, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself acting on my stupid instincts, her reason replied.
“Are you feeling OK?”
Zack’s deep voice took her by surprise and the glass slipped out of her hand. She turned towards the door abruptly and suddenly she couldn’t see anything at all. Her legs turned to jelly beneath her and she felt as if she was falling into darkness.
No, she wasn’t feeling OK at all.
5
She remained unconscious for three long minutes. Zack had realized that she was about to faint and managed to rush over and grab her just in time. Thanks to his promptness, she hadn’t ended up on the floor – which was now covered in broken glass – but in his arms, her head on his chest. He had made sure that she was breathing normally and then had taken her to one of the airiest rooms in the house to let her rest.
He had laid her down on a violet colored sofa and had propped her legs up on a pile of cushions to make things easier for her circulation. Not long afterwards, Liberty’s face had started to regain some color: the sea breeze refreshed her velvety skin while Zack stroked her cheeks. Without realising it, he unconsciously held his breath until he saw her thick lashes trembling and realized that she was about to come round.
Zack took a deep breath, and at that moment she opened her eyes and looked around in confusion. Liberty realized where she was and tried to sit up, but Zack put a hand on her shoulder to stop her.
“Don’t make any more sudden movements, please,” he said to her with a smile. “The last one you made was pretty alarming.”
Liberty looked around but didn’t recognize the room where she found herself. “Where am I? What happened?”
“You passed out, and I have no idea why,” he said, moving some hair off her forehead. “Justin only said that you had a bad headache.”
“Yeah, and my legs feel like jelly.” Liberty lifted herself up on her elbows. “I guess I’m just overtired.”
“Or weak,” said Zack seriously. “When did you last have a real meal, Liberty?”
“Oh, come on, really? Can’t you think about anything else except food?” she snorted, turning her eyes away from his. Zack took her by the chin and leaned over her.
“You told me you hadn’t been well recently, and that probably knocked the wind out of you. Fasting won’t help you to get better, or allow you to get your strength back, you know? You should stop eating like a bird!”
“Well, in fact I was just about to prepare myself something to eat,” she protested.
Zack’s expression made it quite clear that he didn’t believe a word of it. He stood up from the sofa. “Okay, fine,” he said. “I’ll make something for you then. You stay here and rest.”
“No, Zack, I can do it myself,” she said, trying to stand up.
“Damn it, Liberty, stop behaving like a stubborn little kid!” He glared at her the way an angry father might at his spoiled daughter, and she reciprocated with a look so furious that Zack couldn’t help finding it funny. He chuckled.
“So, what would you like to eat? I have the feeling that you’ll say no to anything too elaborate so… how about a fruit salad?”
“Fine – but without any sugar please.”
“Ok, whatever you say. It’ll be ready soon, so in the meantime you stay here with your feet up – you’re looking better already,” said Zack, then walked out of the room before she could reply.
He saw the pieces of glass on the floor and thought with horror at what might have happened if she had been alone in the kitchen. She would have surely fallen on the floor and cut herself on the glass, and there would have been nobody around to help her.
Zack had decided to stay at home when Justin had told everyone that Liberty was in bed with a headache. He thought that Candice would be happy to just play on the beach, and he would have time to take care of his most important guest properly.
He didn’t like the idea of leaving an ill woman alone either, especially when the girl in question was ‘his’ Miss Liberty. Regardless of who she was, though, he thought that he would never have been able to enjoy a day out knowing that his fiancée was unwell… On the other hand, chances were that Liberty would think that behaving like that was suffocating, seeing as she rejected even his kindest gestures.
And it had been her stubbornness that had made her faint too. How could any reasonable person think they could fast for two days without any ill effects?
Now, after seeing her pass out, he was even more determined to make her eat at any cost, even if that meant having to tie her to the sofa and force feed her.
After cleaning up the floor where the glass had fallen, he prepared a very colorful fruit salad: he chopped some strawberries and a banana, then added a handful of blueberries and mixed everything with some orange juice. Liberty had told him not to add any sugar, but he did use some honey for decoration. He thought about adding some yogurt and cereal too, but decided he shouldn’t push his luck too much: having her eat some fruit would already be a victory.
He returned to the little sitting room at the back of the house where she was resting and, before entering the room, he stopped in the doorway to observe her for a few moments.
She was sitting up on the sofa, her head leaning against the backrest, and looking out at the sea through the open French window. She looked so tired and melancholy that he couldn’t avoid feeling somewhat sad too.
He remembered that look very well – it was the same one she had back when she was a young girl sitting in his garden for hours on her own, knowing – and hoping – that nobody would even notice her.
He realized that the old Liberty was still there – hiding inside a completely changed body, but still there. And the realisation was comforting.
As he observed her, he thought about how truly gorgeous she had become. Her appearance was perfect, nobody could deny that, but a beautiful slim body was nothing without a great personality – a personality like the one that Liberty Allen used to have. Even though she was twice as pretty as she used to be nowadays, he thought, she was only half as interesting.
When he eventually walked back into the room, Liberty stiffened, and he noticed her reaction with annoyance. He just couldn’t understand her: he was totally unable to frighten anyone – not even his employees were afraid of him and nobody ever obeyed his orders, especially his daughter, so why did that woman look so worried every time she saw him?
“Ooooh, the evil monster is back!” he said sarcastically as he sat down next to her. Liberty crossed her legs in front of her to put some distance between them, and Zack resisted the temptation to move closer to her because he knew that she would do anything to keep her distance, even if it meant falling off the sofa.
He gave her the colored glass bowl full of fruit he had prepared for her. “There you go. I would have made some other stuff too but a bit of fruit is a good start. And I don’t want to see anything left in that bowl, okay?”
“I would hate to be Candy,” Liberty mumbled as she stared at her fruit salad. “I’m su
re you’re a real pain in the neck as a father.”
“Maybe I am, but my daughter is never going to be so hungry that she passes out, that’s for certain.”
“Let’s just hope that she doesn’t become a whale, then. It would be a shame, because she’s very pretty,” she replied. She took a mouthful of fruit and then asked suspiciously, “What did you put in this salad?”
“There’s fruit, orange juice and a little bit of honey,” explained Zack with a raised eyebrow. “But there’s no sugar, as per your request.”
“Couldn’t you just have peeled some fruit and put it in a bowl?”
“Hey, don’t insult me – I’m a gourmet chef and a food stylist, I could never just throw some banana slices on a plate. The way I present my food is very important to me.”
“It’s just a pointless waste of time.”
Zack leaned backwards against the backrest and stretched his arm behind Liberty’s shoulders, only an inch or so away from touching her. “Well, imagine that there are two plates. On the first one there are pieces of fruit covered with glittering honey and looking juicy thanks to the orange juice, and it’s all decorated with fresh mint leaves and whipped cream. All the second plate contains is some peeled fruit. Which of the two plates looks more appetising, do you think?”
“Adding those decorative ingredients means that you’re also adding more calories to the fruit, so I’d choose the second plate. It might not be as pretty to look at, but it’s healthier. I’d go for the substance, regardless of the presentation.”
“So what you’re basically saying is that appearances don’t matter, right?”
“Right.”
“So why did you waste so much energy on losing weight, then?” he asked, staring at her.
She stiffened again and put the spoon back in the bowl. “What does that have to do with anything?”
