‘I hear,’ Lainey said, holding back tears. ‘Soon, I promise.’
‘Love you,’ Pippa said. ‘Bye.’
They hung up, and she and Matt hugged each other in celebration.
‘I feel really guilty,’ Lainey said. ‘I was getting totally browned off with Pippa lately. I actually thought she was slipping back into her old ways. She said she was working, but quite honestly I’d thought she was pulling a fast one.’
‘Ah I don’t blame you for thinking that,’ Matt said mildly. ‘Pippa can be a bit of a messer and she’s never been particularly fond of hard labour! But she’s certainly come up trumps with this one.’
Lainey lay back against the pillows. ‘She was lovely to me when she came in here, though.’
‘That’s good to hear,’ Matt said.
‘I asked her to help out with Ely if I . . .’
‘Now, there’s none of that talk,’ Matt said firmly. They sat in silence, watching Ely arranging his bricks with dogged determination.
‘Can you imagine what Mum is going to be like?’ Lainey said suddenly. ‘Christmas and a wedding and a movie star! She’s going to be buzzed!’
Visiting time ended and Ely was becoming fractious, so Matt decided to pack up the bag.
‘Ely! It looks like a bomb went off in here,’ he said grinning. ‘Let’s go and find Grandma and the grandpas.’
As soon as Ely realised he was being taken away from Lainey, he began to cry, holding his arms out to her. Not able to hold him, she asked Matt to tuck him in beside her for a moment. She cuddled him and stroked his head tenderly.
‘Mummy will see you soon,’ she crooned. ‘You be a good boy, OK?’
Too young to understand anything other than the fact he was being taken away from his mummy, Ely sobbed and cried ‘mama’ repeatedly.
‘Best go,’ Matt said looking flushed and hassled. ‘Sorry folks,’ he said waving to the other patients.
Lainey smiled and tried not to cry along with her son. Not wanting to slip into depression mode, she lay back against the pillows once more, closed her eyes and tried to imagine what Jodi Ludlum was really like. She’d seen her in lots of movies over the years. Her trademark emerald green eyes and glossy black hair looked stunning on screen, but she was very interested in seeing her in the flesh.
Knowing this would be Jodi’s second marriage, she wondered if she would go for a bridal look. According to Pippa she’d been very normal when they’d met at the department store. Apparently she’d chatted away to Pippa as if she were a long lost friend. But Lainey couldn’t imagine how such a famous superstar could be anything but a diva.
Lainey was suddenly overcome with curiosity about her beau too. Who was this man she’d chosen instead of Darius Drew? Dialling Pippa’s number, she willed her to pick up. When the phone went to voice mail, Lainey felt ridiculously disappointed and left out. Trying Huntersbrook, she prayed someone would answer. When it was Holly, Lainey briefly considered hanging up. She couldn’t bring herself to do it.
‘Hi Mum, it’s me.’
‘Lainey! How are you feeling, love? I was going to call you a bit later. I wasn’t sure how long Matt would stay. I didn’t want to interrupt your precious time together.’
‘Yeah, he just left. Ely was bored and starting to make a noise so Matt took him away.’
‘So you heard Jodi was here?’ Holly asked.
‘Yeah, Pip rang, but she didn’t give much detail.’
‘You should’ve seen her young man,’ Holly said.
‘I’m dying to know about him,’ Lainey said, dropping her frosty tone.
‘He’s so . . . so normal,’ Holly said. ‘He’s a school teacher and he was wearing chinos and one of those Abercrombie sweat shirts Joey likes.’
‘What’s the beef with him? What makes him different from any other bloke? In other words, how is he engaged to Jodi Ludlum?’
Holly launched into a full explanation of why she figured Jodi was with him.
‘So you reckon he’s the polar opposite of what she deals with in work?’
‘Yes, I do. I think she adores her job but craves normality and that her biggest longing is the one thing money can’t buy – love.’
‘You could be right, Mum,’ Lainey mused. ‘So did you like her?’
‘Instantly,’ Holly admitted. ‘She’s a dote. Furthermore she loved our home and is so thrilled about getting married here.’
Lainey and Holly chatted for quite a while, going over the details for the party the following night, before Paddy’s voice in the background interrupted them.
‘I’d better let you go,’ Lainey said, not wanting to end her connection to Huntersbrook. ‘It was great to talk to you, Mum. Thanks for filling me in. I feel so useless lying in here when I should be there, helping.’
‘We miss you terribly, Lainey. I know you’re being incredibly brave and putting other people first and I admire you so much for that. I don’t think I could. Your husband and son are very lucky to have you, the way you put them first all the time.’
Lainey was speechless. She couldn’t believe her ears. Her mother was finally saying things in a soft voice with no irritation or reprisal.
‘Wow, thanks, Mum, I don’t really know what to say.’
‘Darling, I know you don’t want me there as you deal with all this, but I feel terribly for you and I . . . well, I do love you, Lainey.’
Silent tears began to course down Lainey’s cheeks and she struggled to keep her voice even.
‘Thank you so much for saying that,’ she whispered. She cleared her throat. ‘Good luck with all the last minute plans for tomorrow night. I’m so sorry to be missing the inaugural event.’
‘I know you are. But tell you what – I’ll text you during the night. Keep you posted on the happenings.’
‘Thanks, Mum, I’d like that.’
When the nurse came to check on Lainey a few moments later, she understandably thought she was in pain or having a blue moment.
‘Don’t cry, love,’ she said. ‘It’s perfectly normal to feel down post-surgery.’
‘I’m actually really happy,’ Lainey sniffed. ‘I just had the best chat I’ve ever had with my mum. Normally we bite each other’s heads off or spend our time being fractious. Maybe it’s because we’re apart, but I actually needed someone to talk to, and I can’t imagine anyone who could’ve done a better job.’
‘That’s good, dear. Often, difficult circumstances like you’re experiencing have a positive effect. Hospitals tend to put things in perspective for everyone.’
Lainey took her painkiller and allowed her mind to drift. Until her test results came back, she had no idea what lay ahead. But one thing was for certain. She was going to make a concerted effort to continue with this newfound relationship with Holly.
Skye
SKYE DIDN’T WANT TO COMPLAIN, ESPECIALLY IN light of Lainey’s situation, but she was still feeling dreadful.
She desperately wanted to help out as much as she could but she was struggling.
‘Poor you,’ Holly sighed as she saw Skye stooping over. ‘You’re really suffering, aren’t you? Did you go to the doctor at all?’
‘I haven’t had time. But I will,’ Skye said as she forced a smile and tried to make out she was fine.
‘I was on to Lainey a while ago,’ Holly said. ‘I think she’s feeling very left out. Why don’t you spin down and see her for an hour. I reckon everything is under control here. It’d be great to include her.’
Finding Joey and Matt up a ladder stringing white fairy lights around the roof of the marquee along with Missy’s dreaded pink bulbs, she pitched Holly’s suggestion.
‘Good idea, love,’ Joey said. ‘We were only saying it was a shame for poor Lainey to be left out of the loop. You’re still feeling crook, we all understand. You head on over to the hospital. Sadie had a flask of soup for Lainey, could you deliver that while you’re at it?’
‘I’ll take a quick video on my phone to show her the lo
ok of the place too,’ she said. She scanned around the marquee while chatting like a news reader. Pippa flew in the door and threw her arms up to block her eyes.
‘Ugh those lights are hideous. It’s like descending inside a Turkish delight in here.’
‘Watch it. I’ll swing over on these fairy lights and kick you,’ Joey retorted. ‘My arms are starting to ache. So less of the snide remarks thanks, Pippa.’
‘Woo!’ Pippa chimed. ‘Who’s being touchy up there!’ Skye laughed behind the camera, delighted with the snap shot of insanity for Lainey.
‘It’s a wrap! See you guys in a while,’ she said, moving off to the car.
Skye offered to take Ely along but he was having a snooze and they all felt he’d spent enough time at the hospital for one day.
‘He’s grand here with us,’ Sadie said handing over the soup. ‘She was fretting about who will babysit this evening, so please tell her I’ll stay over at the farmhouse and mind Master Ely.’
‘Oh brilliant plan,’ Skye said. ‘I’ll be sure to let her know. That’ll put her mind at ease.’
As Skye walked into the hospital ward a short time later she was genuinely shocked by how bad Lainey looked. Jules was parked beside the bed in a hard plastic chair.
‘Hi Skye, how are you?’ she asked standing to kiss her.
‘Hi Jules. You’re risking being admitted at this rate. Have you even been home? The others said you were here yesterday and the day before.’
‘I’ve taken some time off work. I can’t concentrate so it’s better if I’m here. Lainz and I are sorting the problems of the world between us, aren’t we, babes?’
Lainey nodded and smiled gratefully at her friend.
‘Hi,’ Skye said bending to kiss her cheek. ‘How are you?’
‘Judging from the look on your face, I’m not as good as I thought!’ Lainey smiled.
‘Sorry, I didn’t expect you to look so washed out, which is completely ridiculous considering what you’ve been through.’
They chatted about the past few days and avoided the subject of what could possibly unfold.
‘I’m disgusted with myself,’ Lainey said as she grabbed a tissue from her bedside locker.
Skye took her hand gently and stroked it. ‘Why?’
‘I feel as if I’ve ruined Matt and Ely’s life,’ Lainey said diverting her eyes and taking a large gulping breath. ‘I was terribly arrogant. I assumed we’d have one and possibly two more children,’ she forced a smile. ‘I guess we never know what’s around the corner, right?’
Skye shook her head.
‘We never know our destiny, that’s for sure,’ Jules agreed.
‘This doesn’t only affect me,’ she said. ‘What if he leaves me, Skye?’
‘He’s not going to do that,’ she said softly. ‘We’re all going to be here for you.’
Lainey gritted her teeth and closed her eyes for a moment.
‘Skye and Jules, can I ask you to consider something?’
They nodded.
‘If this turns out to be cancer . . . If I don’t make it . . . Would you promise to do the motherly things with Ely? I know Matt and Jacob will do all the man stuff. But he’ll still need to be softened around the edges. Would you show him how to bake scones? Would you teach him that brown corduroys are only for old men? Would you let him know it’s not cool to make girls cry?’
The girls nodded.
‘Of course we will,’ Jules said looking to Skye.
‘Totally,’ Skye added.
‘I’ve asked Pippa to do the same and in fairness to her, she was brilliant. But Pippa is . . . Pippa. I think I’ve more hope of having you two around in Wicklow than my sister . . .’
‘We’ll all be there no matter what,’ Skye assured her.
‘I don’t want to die, Skye. I don’t feel ready. But I guess all cancer patients think that, don’t they? But I mightn’t have a choice. You know? I mightn’t be able to fight.’
‘But you’re gonna try,’ Jules said forcefully. ‘And we’re all going to help you. It’s not always a death sentence nowadays. Medicine and treatments are advancing all the time. So many women battle and win. You could be one of those.’
‘Pippa gets bored easily,’ Lainey continued looking dazed. ‘She’ll probably only connect with Ely when he starts drinking. Don’t let her buy him cigarettes or drugs, sure you won’t?’
‘I doubt if Pippa’s into drugs,’ Skye said reasonably. ‘And I’ve never seen her smoking . . .’
‘No. You’re quite right. I’m totally wronging her. Sorry, Skye, you must think I’m a cow. I’m so panicked, that’s all.’
‘I understand. It’s hard to be rational at times like these. But try to keep in the forefront of your mind that we’re all here for you, OK?’
They group hugged and Skye sat back on the chair beside the bed.
‘Hey, want to see a funny snippet of what’s going on over at the marquee?’
Lainey and Jules leaned in and watched Pippa and Joey.
Giggling Lainey shook her head.
‘My family are totally bats really. God, I don’t know how you two are always so eager to hang out with us. And you’re even willing to become one of us!’ she said to Skye.
‘Ah now listen. If there’s a crazy family competition – mine wins hands down,’ Skye said.
‘Well I can’t enter the family competition so can we make it a mad mother one instead?’ Jules suggested.
‘OK,’ Skye giggled. ‘You go first, Lainey.’
‘Well I nominate my mother because she gets more excited than any toddler at Christmas time.’
‘Yeah, not bad,’ said Jules, looking unconvinced.
‘Although, now we’re on the subject. She’s been quite amazing over the past few days. I was telling Jules earlier, Skye. Mum and I had the best conversation of our lives yesterday. It was relaxed and fun and I was totally on a high afterwards.’
‘That’s wonderful,’ Skye said happily. ‘So, I’m sorry. Holly is out of the running. We all love her and she’s not a crazy lady . . .’ They all laughed. ‘But my mother on the other hand has crazy lady written all over her. She’s stoned all the time, calls herself Heaven and has been known to knit sleeveless cardigans for hamsters.’
The girls pealed with laughter.
‘Oh and I could be dead for ten years and she wouldn’t notice or care.’
Before the mood could become maudlin again, Jules stepped in.
‘Sorry, girls. But I am the hands-down winner. My mother blames my existence for her sad screwed up life. She told me last night that there is a man in the south of Ireland who performs rituals on people to “drive away the gay”. She handed me a bill for the four pieces of bread I’ve eaten at home this week and concluded by saying she always wanted a son.’
Although the words were utterly shocking, Jules stood and bowed dramatically. Skye looked at Lainey and in spite of the awfulness, they burst out laughing.
‘Oh Jesus, Jules,’ Lainey said. ‘I’m sorry for laughing, but your mother is a witch. You win. Gold medal. Large trophy. It’s all yours.’
‘Thank you!’ she said bowing more and pretending to wave to the imaginary adoring crowd.
‘I take it all back,’ Skye said. ‘My mother is amazing. I’m never complaining about her again.’
Skye remembered to tell Lainey that Sadie would stay at the farmhouse with Ely.
‘She’s so good,’ Lainey said. ‘Ely is lucky to have her influence. But she’s getting old. He’ll need the next generation of women to step up . . .’
Skye wanted to grab Lainey’s shoulders and shake her and yell in her face that she wasn’t going to die. That she wasn’t allowed to die. That they all needed her and she was to stop acting as if she were on a countdown to the next life.
‘What if this is terminal?’
‘We’re all terminal,’ Skye said dryly. ‘But you can’t give up, Lainey. You’ve got to fight and fight hard.’
The ensuing
silence let her know she’d said the wrong thing, Skye could feel the walls closing in. Her mouth began to fill with saliva as she had an overwhelming urge to stand up and run out. Jules was looking at the floor and the frivolous mood was all gone.
‘I’m sorry, I’d better go now,’ she managed. ‘I love you and I’ll call you tomorrow. I’ll let you know how the party went.’
She pecked Lainey on the cheek and hugged Jules before hurrying out.
As Skye bolted through the main hospital doors the cold damp air was almost medicinal in comparison to the thick stale warmth inside. She’d begun to feel as if she were choking.
The image of Lainey in the hospital bed, looking as if she were waiting on death row caused deep heaving sobs to escape her lips. Skye found her car and drove back toward Huntersbrook as fast as she could manage. Knowing this was most certainly not a good time to have an accident, she slowed down and opened the window, hoping the country air would blow away the fug of sickness she felt was clawing at her clothes after the hospital.
Half way down the drive to Huntersbrook, she stopped the car and abandoned it. It was pitch dark out but Skye gained comfort from the smudgy evening air. Marching with her arms swinging purposefully she stopped at the side of a majestic oak tree. She slid to the ground and clunked her head against the trunk. She wasn’t given to praying in public on the whole. But she had an unbending belief in God and Skye could sense the greater goodness that was in force in the world. She was certain that positivity was a palpable energy that pushed people in a better direction in life.
‘If you’re listening, please don’t take Lainey away. Ely needs her. If she dies nothing will be the same again,’ she said looking above. ‘Huntersbrook will be steeped in sadness and regret. The corridors will sigh with sorrow. Mists of misery will roll off the land and this magnificent place will be drenched in tragedy for the next generation. Please don’t let that happen. Don’t ruin the magic.’
Skye stared at the ground and tried with all her might to will Lainey well.
Pippa
MISSY ARRIVED IN A FLURRY OF HAND GESTURES and air-kisses. Pippa knew she needed to be on hand to disperse any potential disasters. She had no doubt in her mind that Missy was going to be totally off her face by two o’clock in the morning. She’d already told Pippa that she was planning on keeping it all above board until her parents and their friends vacated the premises and then, ‘all hell will break loose’.
The Heart of Winter Page 29
