‘I think I used her as my example of what not to do and how not to behave. The thing is. I’ve got this huge void in my life, Lainey. I was sitting here feeling kind of numb. I hadn’t even reached the sobbing stage. It was the stare-at-my-own-shoe for half an hour phase . . .’
‘Yeah, I get you.’
‘When the answer came to me.’
‘You’re going on a world cruise?’ Lainey guessed.
‘No, I would like to be your surrogate mother. I’m offering my womb and eggs to grow a human for you and Matt.’
There was silence on the other end of the phone. Jules bit her lip.
‘Lainz?’
‘I . . . I don’t know what to say . . . I . . . Jules, would you really consider doing that for us?’
‘It fits, Lainz. You want another baby. Your lady parts are no longer available whereas mine are in full health with absolutely no potential for use. It’s the perfect solution. It feels right, doesn’t it?’
Jules heard Lainey’s sobbing down the line as she tried to take stock of what was being offered.
‘I know it’s going to need major discussion, with Matt and your family. But wouldn’t it be amazing? I’d be Auntie Jules, which I am anyway. But this way we’d all be a family.’
‘I’m blown away . . .’
‘I wouldn’t be there morning, noon and night telling you what to do either. Nor would I go around thinking it’s my baby. I don’t actually feel ready to be a full-on mother, but I’d love to be a special Auntie.’
They chatted for another hour as Lainey slowly came to terms with the fact that Jules meant every word she was saying. As usual, their conversation became louder and louder until Matt appeared.
‘Ooh ooh, Matt has just come downstairs to see who I’m talking to,’ Lainey said. ‘Will I put him on?’
‘Go for it,’ Jules said. She chatted to him and explained her offer, saying that she could think of nothing she’d love more. ‘Obviously we’d have to do all the legal stuff and it’s going to have to be done medically. You’re an attractive man, but it would be wrong on every level to try and . . .’
‘What, have a swingers night or invest in a turkey baster?’
‘Precisely,’ Jules said smiling.
They decided to sleep on it and talk again in the morning. But all three agreed that although the idea was embryonic, it had the potential to become something much bigger – like a baby.
Tired, but decidedly elated, Jules made up her bed with fresh sheets from the tiny airing cupboard and climbed in. She thought of her mother and how she’d react if this plan came to fruition. Once she started giggling, Jules couldn’t stop.
Early the following morning Lainey called.
‘Before you even say hello, this is me calling to let you know that you have a get-out clause. If you were pissed drunk last night and feeling emotionally charged after your mother’s attack and were purely looking for a way of getting back at her, you can back out now.’
‘I don’t want to back out. Do you?’
‘Noooooo,’ Lainey said screeching happily. ‘Jules, I was awake for most of the night thinking. Matt and I have just had a really great talk and we both think your offer is the kindest, most selfless and amazing gift imaginable. There’ll be lots of things to iron out and I’m sure it’s going to be a difficult process, but we’d love to accept.’
‘Oh Lainz, this is incredible! Can I come down now?’
‘I’ll put the kettle on.’
‘Will you bake scones? With glacé cherries in them?’
‘Oh Jesus, you’re going to be a diva, aren’t you?’ she giggled. ‘I’m already weighing up flour. Get your ass down here! This is the best Christmas present ever! See you soon.’
Jules jumped out of bed and grabbed the things she needed, remembering to take her outfit for tomorrow. Christmas Day at Huntersbrook was always amazing. Jules felt happier than she could ever remember feeling. A wonderful notion came to her. By proxy, she would now be part of the Craig family. Well, the baby would. But as the special Auntie, she would have a legitimate connection to this marvellous family. They had always made her feel welcome and she was ecstatic that she could now give them something that would add to their lineage.
One of the aspects of being gay that had always made Jules feel sad was the thought that it was highly unlikely that she’d ever have a child. This would tick that box. The idea needed to sit with them all and time would have to pass before the details were ironed out. But Jules knew in her heart of hearts that it was absolutely the right thing to do.
‘Happy Christmas, Auntie Jules,’ she said out loud and did a happy dance.
Jodi
HOLLY WAS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS IN Huntersbrook sweeping up the last of the debris from the night before, when Jodi and Harry appeared.
‘Oh, hold it there for one second!’ Holly said as she rushed to find her digital camera.
‘It’s a family tradition! There’s a photo of my mother, then me and most recently Lainey a couple of years ago making this very descent.’
Jodi gazed at the intricately decorated banisters.
‘Your attention to detail is incredible,’ Jodi said, as she and Harry stood and posed. ‘Holly by name and holly by nature.’
‘I was well named, wasn’t I?’ she grinned.
As she reached the bottom of the stairs, Holly held her arms out to Jodi.
‘Well done, lovie. I’m sure your mother is looking down on you ever so proudly today. You’re a super girl, a fantastic Mum, and I hope you’ll be very happy.’
Jodi hugged Holly and didn’t say a word. As she stood back, she hesitated before speaking.
‘. . . I never had a relationship with my mother. She was poisoned by drink and drugs. Sadly I was nothing but an inconvenience in her life. If I could’ve been born as one of your daughters, God only knows where I might have ended up,’ she said sadly. ‘For you to take my photo with the view of including me in your family album means more than you will ever know. I should’ve been sad yesterday, getting married without either of my parents by my side. But I had my Tommy and all of you to keep me smiling.’
‘Eh what about me?’ Harry said dryly nudging her.
‘We all know you’re my knight in shining armour,’ she grinned and kissed him. ‘I used to dread Christmas. As a small child it was the most lonely and awful time. Ma would go on three day-long benders and I’d be left on my own for hours on end.’
‘You poor child,’ Holly said shaking her head sadly.
‘Things improved when I had Saul. Darius and I cherish and adore him. But the demons were still in the shadows whispering and taunting me.’ She put her hand out and touched the mossy-based swag that Holly had carefully entwined around the staircase.
‘I lifted myself out of the life I was born into. I know the cycle has been stopped too. Our Tommy is happy as a pup with two tails. I’ve carved a whole new niche in this world. The name Ludlum will hopefully be associated with the little actress from the Emerald Isle rather than the drunk from Dublin city.’ She shuddered and forced a brave smile. ‘Thank you for helping me to put the final piece of the jigsaw puzzle in place.’
‘You’re more than welcome, darling girl,’ Holly said as she hugged her. ‘Now, let’s seal the deal and send you on your way with one of Sadie’s hot breakfasts.’
By midday the members of the wedding party had all said grateful goodbyes as the Craigs waved them off. The snow hadn’t stuck but it was still extremely cold.
‘It’s very pretty when the place is covered in a blanket of white, but it plays havoc with the roads,’ Holly said. ‘At least you know your flights won’t be delayed.’
Jodi and her family were going straight to the airport to catch their flight. They’d arrive on the island in time for dinner on Christmas night.
‘I know a lot of people wouldn’t like to fly on Christmas Eve,’ she said. ‘But we wanted to make the most of Harry’s holiday time.’
‘The door is always open,
Jodi. Don’t be a stranger,’ Paddy said loudly.
Pippa hugged her and wished her well.
‘Don’t worry about us either. We’ll wrap up warmly. I’m sure if we wear ski gear we won’t end up with chilblains on our fingers and toes.’
Jodi laughed.
What none of them knew was that Jodi had already conducted an over-the-phone interview giving excusive details of her private wedding to Society magazine. They’d already confirmed Jodi for their front cover. She’d insisted they use the image of her and Harry on the front steps of Huntersbrook House. It was her tiny way of thanking the Craigs for the incredible kindness they’d shown her.
One by one the Craig family arrived into the kitchen where they sat around the table and congratulated one another on a fantastic event. The atmosphere was one of relaxed cheer.
They’d all cleaned as they went the day before, but there were still chairs to be moved back out to the marquee and Holly wanted to put up the family stockings on the mantelpiece.
‘I didn’t want the guests to feel we were only biding our time before they went away,’ Holly said. ‘There’s a fine line between being made to feel welcome and thinking you’re intruding on someone’s home.’
Holly always boiled the ham on Christmas Eve, so she fetched the huge pot that had rested in the larder for two generations and stood it on the Aga. Pulling the ham out of the large fridge in the shed, she hoofed it into the great pot and scored the skin with a sharp knife. She found it incredibly therapeutic as she studded each diamond shape with a clove. The warm, pungent, spicy scent filled the air. Roughly chopping several onions, she tossed them in too. Maggie’s favourite way of cooking it was by glugging cola over the top, which she duly did. It brought back another flood of memories as she’d stood on a chair and watched in awe as a little girl.
‘It’ll give the meat a lovely sweet flavour,’ Maggie used to say.
They rarely had fizzy drinks in the house and for many years Holly only associated cola with the Christmas ham.
Paddy and Jacob took it upon themselves to stack logs and briquettes as well as a bucket of coal by each of the fires in the hall, living room and dining room.
Lainey put the custard layer on top of her homemade trifle.
‘That looks delicious,’ Sadie said with interest. ‘What did you make the jelly from?’
‘It’s our own rhubarb that I’d boiled in sugar, strained and frozen.’
‘I’m impressed,’ Sadie said nodding with approval. A couple of years previously, Sadie would’ve done the lion’s share of the cooking. That responsibility had been removed from her shoulders organically as Lainey gravitated toward the kitchen. Lainey was very aware that she was being passed the baton and made certain to ask Sadie for her precious advice regularly.
‘Would you have used any special flavouring in the custard?’ she asked.
‘No, the vanilla pods are my favourite, too. Maggie was a dreadful woman for lashing brandy into things. But the taste isn’t appealing to the little ones.’
‘I think Ely is a little young for being sozzled,’ Lainey agreed.
Skye’s cousin Echo’s arrival from Dublin was the signal that it was officially Christmas.
‘Nicely timed,’ Joey said clapping him on the back. ‘We’ve just finished all the cleaning up!’
‘Aw shucks, and you know how much I love vacuuming.’
When Jules arrived, everyone stood to greet her as usual and they all grinned as she and Lainey hugged as if her life depended on it.
‘Is everything OK?’ Holly asked suspiciously.
‘Yeah,’ Jules said. ‘I’d a bust-up with Mum last night. I’m back in the flat and she’s pretty much cut me off. But it’s probably for the best.’
‘Well I don’t like to speak out of turn about others,’ Paddy said gruffly. ‘But that woman needs her head examined. If she’s too caught up in her own doings to realise what a super girl you are, it’s her loss and our gain. We’re honoured to have you as part of our family.’
They were all mildly surprised when both Lainey and Jules burst into tears and hugged one another again.
The rest of the afternoon was spent playing Scrabble. Skye slept in the big armchair and wasn’t even roused by the loud yells as Paddy tried relentlessly to cheat.
‘Dad,’ Pippa laughed. ‘We’ve told you a million times that you can’t invent words, even if you have a very convincing meaning made up!’
‘I think I’m on to something,’ he said. ‘I might go and manufacture my own mousecream. I think it’d be a hit. Cats apparently love mice and they drink milk. What’s the problem?’
‘For a start, you can’t put the tiles there as it’s interfering with the letters above and that word still doesn’t exist!’
‘And you’re sitting on two “x’s” and a “z”,’ Holly said, swiping at him with a cushion.
‘But it’s such a cute word,’ Jules said. ‘I think it should be allowed.’
‘Thank you, Jules,’ Paddy said winking across at her.
The roads were icy and slightly sludgy from the wintry showers all afternoon, so Paddy got his way when he suggested travelling to Christmas Eve mass on the tractor with the trailer.
Skye looked very doubtful however.
‘I don’t think I’d survive being bumped about.’
‘You’d be fine, my girl,’ Paddy said, not wanting anything to jeopardise his drive in the hay-loaded vehicle.
‘We don’t need her falling off or going into early labour while you trundle down the road oblivious,’ Holly said.
Paddy looked so crestfallen that Joey, Jacob, Lainey, Matt and Jules said they’d pile in with Ely and Echo. Pippa wanted to drive, which was met with a chorus of negative comments.
‘I’m not that bad,’ she said, pretending to be hurt.
‘Pippa, you drive like a maniac while putting on make-up and talking on your phone,’ Joey said. ‘You are not going on a road, even if it’s a private one through our own land, with innocent lives at stake.’
Each year Paddy parked at their back gate, which was only a stone’s throw from the village church.
‘I’ll come down in the car with Skye. I think we’ll use the public thoroughfare and avoid large potholes, deep rivets and other potentially dangerous obstacles,’ Holly said. ‘We can take the food from the chippers back with us too. It’ll work out nicely.’
Each year the Craigs went to the family mass. It was wonderful to see all the eager and excited little ones who were almost bursting with anticipation. The carols, readings and poems were always organised by the school, so it was poignant and heartwarming and the most lovely way of celebrating Christmas Eve. Afterwards they collected food from the takeaway, which they brought home to eat out of the packets in front of a roaring fire. This was traditionally washed down with either wine or beer from paper cups.
‘It’s illegal to do washing up on Christmas Eve,’ Paddy always said.
The live crib along with the small children always proved to be as touching as it was entertaining. This year one of the goats helped herself to a pile of missalettes which she proceeded to chew noisily as the final prayer was being said.
‘Were there actually goats in the manger way back when?’ Pippa whispered to Joey.
‘I can’t be certain, sis, cause I wasn’t there myself. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen a pretend manger with a goat included.’
‘It belongs to Mr O’Malley,’ Holly said authoritatively. ‘He donates the straw every year. Apparently he got a present of the goat from a niece soon after his Nuala passed away. He’s very attached to it and lets it into the kitchen to sleep in front of the Aga with the dog. He asked if it could be included in the crib and Father Tom hadn’t the heart to say no.’
The mass ended just as the goat was attempting to gnaw its way out of the crib.
The chipper was crammed with like-minded hungry folks, but Paddy managed to get served fairly swiftly. Mario handed over the enormous bulging ba
g of food and wished them all a happy Christmas. Matt ushered them all back onto the trailer and drove home. The loud screeching rendition of Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer was more of an exercise in spleen-venting than melodious singing as they pulled up at the front door.
Paddy and Holly had brought their bedclothes and moved back into their old room for the few days.
‘It’s lovely to be back here as a family once more,’ Holly said. ‘I love our gate lodge now. It feels like home when we’re there, but nowhere will ever replace Huntersbrook at Christmas time.’
Paddy pulled out the bellows and blew air onto the freshly stoked fire, getting a blaze going.
‘I vote we start with a bottle of bubbly,’ he said. ‘After the year we’ve had, I reckon we deserve it.’
Matt found some paper cups, knowing that no matter what happened they couldn’t break the golden rule and create a pile of washing-up. Even Skye said she’d have a mouthful.
Jacob, Lainey, Matt and Ely were staying Christmas Eve and Christmas night at Huntersbrook, too, so they decided to head off to bed. Pippa and Jules were sharing a twin room and Echo was sleeping on a fold-out bed in the front room and said he was ready to turn in for the night too. Joey offered Skye a piggy-back, which she declined.
‘I can’t see my bump fitting on your back, Joey!’
‘Oh yeah! I forgot that,’ he grinned.
‘I’ll follow you in a minute,’ Lainey said. ‘Matt, don’t wake Ely. He was out for the count earlier. We don’t need him waking in a strange room and deciding two hours is enough sleep to last him until morning!’
He was still a tiny bit young to understand the ins and outs of Christmas, so Lainey had managed to get him to sleep without too many problems when they’d finished eating.
‘I’ll give you a quick hand with the stockings,’ Lainey said to Holly.
‘Indeed you will not,’ she said indignantly. ‘Santa Claus won’t come if you’re still up. No matter how old you are, if you don’t believe . . .’
‘You won’t receive . . .’ Lainey finished with a grin.
‘I just need to do Ely’s stocking,’ she said, rummaging in the cardboard box she’d brought from next door. ‘I hope he’ll like his things.’
The Heart of Winter Page 38
