He really had marvelous taste in shoes.
I hadn’t taken the time to do my hair properly, opting to pull it back into a tight, high ponytail. My bright yellow sleeveless O-neck sundress was the perfect compromise between dressy and casual, and it went well with my very minimal makeup. I wanted to look like I cared about meeting them, but not like I was trying to be flashy.
The Habitat Lounge was a little more like a nightclub than I’d expected it to be. It had the same clash-of-the-time-periods feel that the lobby had and was far busier than I’d expected it to be. I told the hostess we were meeting someone, all while looking over her shoulder, trying to see Susan. Luckily, the hostess knew exactly who we were supposed to meet and led the way.
With every step we took, my throat grew drier. What was I doing? These people didn’t want to meet me. They wanted my kidney. Why was I putting them through all of this, when we would probably never hear from each other again afterward?
“Here we are,” the hostess said as we reached a corner table set for six. The first face I saw was Susan’s, and I felt oddly relieved to see her. We’d already met, so she could be the intermediary between me and her sister and mom.
The other two women at the table turned to look up at us. Molly hadn’t yet lost the roundness of teendom; when she smiled, the apples of her cheeks were full and rosy. She shared the same tan skin as Susan, but her hair had a purple sheen to it. Square black-rimmed hipster glasses rested on her nose, and a glare partially hid her dark eyes. She bolted from her seat and threw her arms around me, crying, “Sophie!” as though we’d known each other all our lives. Her long, thin arms were banded with a mish-mash of bracelets that ranged from black cording with metal charms to braided string and metal bangles.
Caught off-guard, I hugged her back, trying not to notice the guarded expressions of Susan and her mother. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”
Neil extended his hand to their mother. “Neil Elwood. Pleasure to meet you.”
“Sasha Tangen.” The older woman took his hand briefly, her eyes flicking back to me as I stepped away from Molly. Sasha shook her head and looked down. “I’m sorry. I just wasn’t prepared… You look so much like him.”
A lump stuck in my throat.
“Susan,” Neil said, shaking her hand before pulling out a chair for me. But my feet were stuck to the ground.
“Did you see the pool?” Molly asked, either oblivious to or trying to ignore the tension. “It’s kidney-shaped.”
I laughed with her, but I wasn’t entirely sure I wouldn’t vomit on the table. Before I took my seat, I reached for Sasha’s hand. “Hi. I’m Sophie Scaife.”
“I appreciate you being here,” Sasha said, some of the shock on her face easing. “I know it’s a long trip.”
“This place is so cool,” Molly cut in. “The bathroom mirror has Bluetooth. You can hook it up to your phone. Like, so it can sing to you.”
“So, the accommodations are—” Neil began, only to have Susan cut him off.
“It’s too much. Really. You didn’t have to do this,” she said quietly.
“It’s our pleasure,” I said firmly. “I want you guys to be comfortable. And if you don’t like it here, we can pick somewhere else when we come for the actual…”
For the surgery. Which I didn’t want to think about. We still didn’t know if I was a suitable match. Our blood types were compatible, but there was so much more to it that I had no idea about going in. I’d had another blood test, urine tests to make sure my kidneys were functioning, something about cross-matching… The past few weeks had been nonstop, and it might have been all for nothing.
“Really, everything you’ve done and offered to do is…” Sasha shook her head. “We are very grateful.”
The last part was directed somewhat firmly at Susan.
“We haven’t checked in, yet,” Neil said, eager to keep the small talk going. “But I do look forward to the singing mirror.”
Molly’s eyes sparkled with admiration. Then, she said, “You’re like…way old.”
“Molly!” Sasha snapped.
“No, I meant, like, way older than Sophie.” Molly gestured to me. “I know you’re twenty-eight, so you’re way old, too—”
“Molly, stop talking,” Susan said through gritted teeth.
I laughed, relieved to be back in familiar territory. “It’s not a big deal. We get that all the time.”
“Well, I don’t get it all the time, because I’m not ‘way old’, as you put it,” Neil told Molly. “But, yes, I’m much older than your sister.”
The word was out there. Oh, my god, it was out there, and there was no putting it back in. I thought of all the things Susan and I had talked about, how we weren’t sure how to go forward. I knew we couldn’t go backward. And Molly looked so pleased. What would happen if she wanted a relationship we just couldn’t have? Would I hurt her the way Joey Tangen had hurt me?
“You’re retired, I hear?” Sasha asked, and I wondered how much Susan had filled her in on. She hadn’t looked surprised to see a middle-aged husband accompanying me.
Neil reached for the glass of water sweating on the tablecloth. “Yes. Before Sophie and I married.”
“I didn’t think businessmen retired. I thought you just ran for president,” Sasha said, with a smile that indicated friendly teasing. It was immediately apparent that, of the three, Susan was the more reserved.
It may not have made her a particularly warm ambassador for her family, but it meant she was cautious, and I appreciated that.
Neil’s eyebrows rose. “Please, no comparisons there. That man is insufferable.”
“Mostly, Neil stays home with his granddaughter. We take care of her, since Neil’s daughter passed away.” I wondered if Sasha had read my book, the way Susan had. I wondered how much they all knew about me, already.
“I’m so sorry to hear that,” Sasha said, her forehead creasing in concern.
“Thank you,” Neil said. Then, after a sudden deep breath, he picked up the menu on the table and changed the subject. “I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m absolutely starving.”
“They have sushi!” Molly said, flapping her hands excitedly. “I have never had sushi before.”
“You’ll have to try some, then,” I told her. Unbidden, images of taking Molly to the best sushi restaurants in New York flooded my mind. I didn’t know why, but I wanted to impress her with the stuff I could give her—besides a kidney—and win her over the way I couldn’t win over Susan. My gaze dropped to the Hamilton T-shirt Molly wore. “Susan said you like Broadway?”
“Oh, my god, yes!” Molly drew the word out, long and impassioned. “My school got to go see Guys and Dolls in Toronto last year. But I’ve never been to New York. Maybe after the surgery, I could come visit you!”
“Don’t invite yourself,” Susan said, a little too sharp.
“She’s always welcome,” Neil said smoothly. “Even if you end up not liking the sushi.”
Maybe I should have been upset that he’d contradicted Susan’s admonishment, but I wasn’t. Susan probably didn’t want Molly to become too attached, and that was fine. But if there was one sister who wanted to know me, even if it was just because I was a living link to theater tickets, I would take it.
We placed our orders, and Molly did order one of the two sushi rolls on the limited menu. While we waited for our food, we chatted more with Sasha and Molly. Like my mom, Sasha worked at a hospital, but she was a nurse, not a monitor tech. Her other daughter, Renee, worked for Habitat for Humanity and lived in Oregon. We probably wouldn’t meet her, Molly had told us with a little bit of a bitter sigh, because she never came back for visits.
“Renee is kind of a snob,” Susan said stiffly.
Sasha gave her daughter a look. “She doesn’t mean to be a snob. She’s just got a different life than we do.”
If Renee was a snob because she had a different life, what did that make us to Susan? We already knew what her husband thought of us. D
id whatever feelings she had toward Renee bleed over onto us, as well?
“Sophie has a different life than we do,” Molly observed, taking a sip from her Coke. “And she’s not a snob.”
“I can be, sometimes,” I admitted. “But I was like that way, way before my life was different.”
“Sophie was a snob out of the womb, to hear her mother tell it,” Neil said with an uncomfortable laugh.
Conversation lapsed for a moment, and Sasha broke the silence with, “I suppose we should talk about the transplant.”
“Mom, the food isn’t even here, yet,” Susan said quietly. “We didn’t even get past soup the last time.”
“Well, nobody ordered soup. So, that’s solved,” Sasha said brightly.
“And Travis isn’t here,” Molly added. Her mother and sister gave her such quick looks, she meekly added, “What? He isn’t.”
“I know I said it before,” Sasha began, with a warning side-eye to her youngest. “But I can’t tell you enough how grateful I am that you would help us out. Even if the kidney falls through—”
“God forbid,” Neil put in.
She nodded. “But even so…we got your check. It’s too generous, really.”
“It will barely cover the costs you’ll incur in the first year,” Susan said, and I wondered if they’d fought about keeping the money. She quickly added, “Not that it wasn’t generous, or I think you should do more. I just want my mother to understand how much you’re helping her out, and that she doesn’t need to turn down that help.”
“Please, think nothing of it,” Neil said. “Medicine, surgery, all of that is so expensive here. There’s no reason it should be a hardship for you when we can help.”
Sasha looked doubtful. “I don’t want you to think that we can’t make it on our own. I have very good benefits. And Joey had life insurance—”
My heart clenched at the mention of his name. I thought back to her earlier comment, about how much I looked like him, and I felt sick. I didn’t want to talk about him in the past tense. I didn’t want to talk about him at all, and definitely not with the people he’d chosen over me.
My internal reaction must have shown on my face, because Sasha stopped herself. “Sophie…I know this must be very hard for you. Because of the circumstances.”
“Because my father abandoned me?” The words shot out before I could consider the effect they might have on the women. “Yeah, that makes this kind of hard.”
Molly looked down at the table. Susan avoided my eyes. But Sasha’s gaze remained fixed on me in motherly understanding. “Sophie, I want you to know that what Joey did… He regretted it until the day he died.”
I’m sure it was meant to comfort me, but it didn’t. “There was a lot of time where he could have corrected his mistake.” I took a deep breath. “Look, he was your husband, and he was Molly and Susan’s dad. I’m not asking you to not love him, or to change the way you feel about him. But I’m pretty messed up. I probably always will be. And knowing that he regretted messing me up, but not enough to do anything about it… That doesn’t make me feel any better. It actually makes it kind of worse.”
“I’m sorry,” Sasha said. Her eyes filled with tears. “I wish he could have been a better father to you.”
You and me both, I thought, but resisted the temptation to say it. “You’re not responsible for what he did or didn’t do. Neither is Susan or Molly. That’s why I’m here. I’m not here for him. I’m here for you guys.”
The words lifted a weight off my chest, one I hadn’t been aware of until it was gone. I’d been carrying it with me since the night of the reunion, and now, it eased. I couldn’t win my father over by helping his daughter. He was dead, and that chance had passed. Giving Molly my kidney was my choice, and while I’d been afraid that it was influenced by my desperation to prove my worth, those feelings evaporated in an instant. I wanted this. I wanted to give someone something to improve their life. I wanted Molly to have a future. And that want had to do with the girl sitting in front of me, and nothing to do with Joey Tangen.
The server arrived, providing me with a blessed respite from the conversation. We all smiled and pretended to be normal as we received our plates. Once the waitress was gone, though, we had no choice but to go back.
“You’re going to give your kidney to a stranger just because?” Molly asked quietly. It was the first time she hadn’t sounded confident and bubbly since we’d sat down. “Even though Dad—”
“It’s not just because,” I stated firmly. “I think you and I have a lot in common, from what Susan tells me. More than just blood. And I remember what it was like to want a future that seemed out of reach. I want you to be able to have yours.”
“I don’t just want your body parts,” she said, a bit of her spark returning. “You’re my sister, even if I didn’t know it.”
“Are you sure?” I asked. “You already have two sisters. You don’t think three is too many?”
“Heck, no! Plus, we look like we’re the same size. I want to borrow some rich, expensive clothes.”
Neil and Sasha both chuckled. Susan even cracked a smile.
“You know what?” I asked. And though every part of me was fully aware that I was putting Sasha and Susan in an uncomfortable position by not asking their permission first, I blurted, “Twelve Oaks Mall is, like, forty-five minutes away. If you want rich, expensive clothes, let’s go. Right now. Anything you want.”
“Oh, Sophie, no,” Sasha began. “That’s too much.”
“Mom, can I go? Please?” Molly pleaded, and I gave Sasha my very best puppy dog eyes, too. It was unfair. I would apologize later.
To my surprise, Susan backed me up. “Sophie is willing to give up a kidney. We can spare Molly for a few hours.”
“And you’re welcome to go with them, I’m sure,” Neil added. Probably because he was a parent and knew exactly how reluctant parents could be about letting their children run off with strangers.
Sasha considered only for a blink of an eye. “It would be a nice chance for them to connect. As long as you don’t spoil her.”
“I can’t promise that,” I said, because I had every intention of spoiling her.
“Yeah,” Molly said. “Let her spoil me. I’m a dying urchin.”
“You are not allowed to use your condition as an excuse,” Sasha said sternly. With a heavy sigh, she said, “Fine. You can go.”
Molly sped through her lunch in record time then hopped up and declared, “I’m going to the room to get changed!”
“You’ve changed twice today,” Susan reminded her.
Sasha waved a hand. “She brought enough clothes for a month, let alone a week.”
When Molly practically skipped away, Sasha fixed me with an intense stare. It was the first time she seemed…not unfriendly, but not friendly either. “I don’t know what your intentions are. I believe in my heart that they’re honest. But my heart has been wrong before. If you come into Molly’s life like this, you can’t disappoint her. Not after what she went through, losing her father.”
Did she forget who she’s talking to?
I didn’t want to make her feel bad. And I didn’t want to create strain between us. Not now that I’d met Molly. But I couldn’t let it pass without comment.
“Believe me,” I said firmly. “I know what it’s like to have someone let you down.”
****
After we finished our meal, I told Sasha to have Molly meet me in the lobby in an hour. That gave Neil and me time to check in and go to our room, where I could quickly rinse the travel sweat off my body.
“You shouldn’t have done that, you know,” Neil said, raising his voice over the sound of the rainfall shower. “It wasn’t very fair to Sasha.”
“It wasn’t very fair for my dad to abandon me, but here we are.” I hummed to myself, trying not to think bad thoughts about the woman who’d been so nice to me. But she was his wife. She had to have known that I existed, right? Why hadn’t she done
something about it?
“Sasha is not your father,” Neil said, my view of him slightly blurred by the fog on the shower door.
I hit the taps and stepped out, shaking water off my flimsy plastic shower cap. Neil flinched from it. I pulled it off and flicked it at him. “What, are you going to melt? And no, Sasha isn’t my father. But she was married to him. Call me naive, but I happen to think that spouses have some measure of influence over each other.”
“We don’t know the whole situation,” Neil reminded me, dropping the shower cap in the sink and grimacing at the wet spots on his shirt. “You could refrain from antagonizing her in the meantime.”
I wrapped a towel around my waist and sauntered out of the bathroom. “You think I’m taking Molly shopping to antagonize Sasha?”
Neil followed me and kept his eyes trained on the floor. “Sophie, stop trying to derail a serious conversation with…brazen toplessness. I am not going to be comfortable with any of this until you promise me that you’re not trying to get under Sasha’s skin. Or Susan’s.”
“Give me a little more credit than that, please.” I rolled my eyes. And remained brazenly topless. “I want to take Molly out to have a good time. She’s dealing with some deeply unpleasant shit. There’s nothing wrong with giving her a little escape. Plus, of the sisters I have that I have met, she seems like she’s going to be the easiest one to get along with at the moment.”
Neil pinched the bridge of his nose and squinched up his face. “There are so many possible pitfalls here, and I’m concerned that you’re not seeing any of them. Or, if you do see them, you’re choosing to ignore them.”
“I’m not going to fall into any pits.” How could I make him understand that everything he was saying had already been run as a scenario in my mind, over and over again, since before I’d even met Molly? “I haven’t ignored anything. Trust me, with my past? I have a much clearer perspective on all of this than you do.”
He looked up, his gaze halting on my tits for only a split-second. “And you’re not trying to buy Molly’s affection?”
I shrugged. “I’m already giving her a kidney. Is buying her affection really avoidable?”
The Sister (The Boss Book 6) Page 25
