I manage to make it to Temple Street without much incident; I’ve about got the city figured out after nearly two months. Once you realize Metris doesn’t have much of a zoning commission it’s much easier to get around.
The Guildhall is easy to find since it’s the most ornate structure on Temple Street, mainly because no one in Guild Esoteric settled on one method of decoration. Statues, pictures, runes symbols - if anyone ever tried to deface it with graffiti, no one would notice; the poor graffiti wouldn’t stand a chance and would die alone and afraid. It’s not as big as the University or Shard Tower, but you can’t top it for design.
My ID card gets me inside easy, but it’s a formality - they know me by now; Huan had me inducted into the Guild as an “assistant/apprentice” two days after I signed on with him. People wave at me or say “hi” as I walk through the ornate halls to the auditorium. I really like that, being part of something, it’s like Colony without the disadvantages of being an exploitative bitch.
It seems like most of the apprentices and assistants are here instead of their mentors and employers. HuanJen warned me about this; the monthly meetings get dodged a lot, most of the big shots attend the quarterlies. I suppose it makes sense - how much can a bunch of shamans, ministers, mages, and their ilk talk about before they get bored, confused, start to argue, or so something that invokes ancient and occult forces?
“Jade?”
Someone in the colorful crowd calls my name. I can just see … ah, hell, uh … Kevin what’s-his-name. Old Man Green’s apprentice. You can always find him easily, he looks like a dandelion that happens to wear the motley robes and talismans of Xaian shamans.
“Hey … Kevin.” I make my way over to him. He doesn’t look that happy, but I think that’s normal for Kevin. He’s a non-native in training by a rather prominent native Holy Man, I think the pressure gets to him. Besides, he’s kind of got a natural “forlorn artist” attitude.
“Hello, Jade, may I talk to you, in private?”
I look at the milling crowd, and check the strange sculpture-clock over the auditorium. We have maybe ten minutes until the big meeting, but … hell, it’s nice to be wanted. It’s part of the job. Besides, I have to wonder what Kevin wants.
“Sure. I …” What would Huan say? “What can I do for you?”
Kevin doesn’t say anything, which is really annoying, and leads me to some small meeting room and locks the door. I feel myself tense, and then I realize how silly I’m being. Kevin is not going to attack me - its not in his nature, no one in their right mind would try something like that in Guild Esoteric, and I’d rip his nuts off if he did.
“Kevin,” I try to be friendly, “what’s up, I …”
“Green’s dying, Jade. I have to make sure you know. Heh, you know how things go.”
OK. That was unexpected.
Then I realize what he said.
Green is dying. Old Man Green, the shaman, one of the fixtures of Guild Esoteric. Kevin’s mentor. The poor bastard, he’s barely nineteen, and he’s known Green all his life, and …
“I just heard for sure. He told me yesterday. I figure since you and HuanJen have been helping out while he’s been ill, you should know. I …”
Suddenly, I’m not just worried for Kevin. I feel pieces falling together in my mind. Kevin is just one in a long string of people Old Man Green has trained and mentiored …
“Oh, gods …” I manage to mutter, as suddenly the past two months become simple.
“Jade?”
“He’s been ill on and off for awhile, hasn’t he?”
Kevin nods sadly. “Yes. Six, maybe eight months.”
Of course. It makes sense. I suddenly understand a lot. I missed it. Rake, Lorne, someone as ornery and alive as Green clumsily breaking his leg …
I realize I have a lot to do today, not just the meeting. But first …
I hug Kevin. It’s all I can do. I have to do something.
HUAN-JEN: THE HOUSE
I navigate to the southern edge of my territory. Old Man Green’s house is there, a mysterious structure perhaps a century old. Mr. Alexander has tried to buy it a number of times, to preserve it or open a miniature museum, but Green would have none of that. I don’t know his plans, but I rather imagine Mr. Alexander, and perhaps others will be very disappointed.
A knock on the dark wood door of the foreboding home brings an unexpected response; Sister Cynthia’s rather dour presence. I had expected Kevin, or perhaps Magus, but not her. Then again Kevin is probably representing Green at the meeting - if he didn’t, people would get suspicious.
“HuanJen.” Her voice is made of words chiseled from ice-cold marble. “He’s expecting you. Come in and mind the carpet. I’m trying to keep everything clean with people tromping through here at all hours.”
I follow her, noting her gait and poise, sensing the flow of her vital energies; it’s obvious she’s tired. Her usual black not-quite-nun’s outfit is rumpled. Cynthia has a remarkable ability to stay awake for two days at a stretch with little apparent ill effect, an ability she has been indulging as of late. The situation is worse than I had thought.
My clerical companion leads me upstairs, past the strange objects that compose Green’s idea of decor, and up to the shaman’s room. “Now don’t keep him up, he needs his sleep. Understand?”
“I won’t strain him, Cynthia.” I try to be polite, though Cynthia always seems to annoy me, something that I am ashamed of. There’s few among Guild Esoteric more organized or a better teacher than she, but I can’t shake the impression she dislikes me, though she rather dislikes anyone over twelve years of age.
She gives me a look that may have been a smile had it not come from such a pinched expression, and I enter the room.
And feel death.
Old Man Green lies on his bed in the knickknack-packed room, smiling up at me. He doesn’t look like he’s dying, he doesn’t even look his age of ninety-odd. He even looks younger than when I’d met him years ago, a walking archetype of everyone’s spry grandfather, still sporting the muscles of his adventurous youth. His hair only has a few beads in it, though - he’s obviously not been keeping up appearances.
To most he would look healthy, but I can feel he’s not. For some people, life just runs out, the vital energies decline, and that long, inevitable slide towards death begins. For him, it began some time ago, and by now his energies have all but drained away.
“Well, HuanJen. You look like shit.” He grins, displaying most of his original teeth. He always seemed indestructible to everyone, even me.
“What do you expect?” I find a chair, one of the endlessly mismatched pieces of strange furniture he keeps, and sit. “I’m worried.”
“Ah, working hard again, I know.” Green sits up a bit, trying to deal with the cast about his left leg. No one has asked about it, but his apprentice and I know - well, Green’s girlfriend knows too, but that’s another story completely.
“Quite busy. All is well?”
Green grabs a glass of something thick and green off of his nightstand and takes a sip. “Hanging in there. Damn leg is still a problem. Kevin is being a good apprentice and covering what he can. Cynthia insists on being her all the time, probably figures she can annoy me back to health.”
“That is an interesting way to recover.” I want to say more, but I can’t. I don’t know what to say. I realize it may be the last time I see him. But you can’t make words you don’t have. It’d make the moment dishonest.
Words … fine tools, but they have their limits.
“Heh. Cynthia’s a bitch, but she’s good. Good woman. Lots of help here. Kinda like your Jade.”
“She’s not my Jade. She’s not anyone’s Jade, Green.” I feel the need to say that. With Jade, you have to say that, at least as a warning.
Green smiles merrily as he sets the glass down. “Heh, yeah. I like Jade. I think she’s been great for you. Solid, dependable, strong. Nice ass.”
I scowl a bit, not wit
hout humor, as I agree with the statement. Still, a bit gratuitously crude. “Yes, she still …”
“It really was an accident. It was just an unexpectedly enjoyable way to steady myself.” He tries not to smile, and fails. I knew he was honest on both statements.
“I expect she will forgive you in time.”
Green looks down for a moment, and he seems to shrink. “I don’t have time, HuanJen.”
“I know, I …”
His interruption is unexpectedly harsh. “I don’t know how long, but Kevin knows and you know I don’t have much time. I want to make sure everything’s clear with you, my boy. So you listen to Old Man Green.”
I nod. I still have no words.
“I’m leaving the house to the Guild, I’d have my apprentice administer it, but he’s going to have enough to deal with, so I’m having Madhi do it. I want you to take care of the people you were helping me with from now on. You up to that?”
“I am.” I’d been Zone Cleric for an extra hundred people for weeks now with no trouble, and another hundred for months. He couldn’t rely on guesswork, though. He never had. He wanted confirmation.
“Good. OK. Also, now this is the personal stuff, watch the damn politics. There’s talk about making the Communications Guild public and we know how damn messy it was when that happened to the Travelers’ Guild. Speaking of them, keep goddsdamn Solomon Dell and his people away from Kevin and anything else, Magus says he’s been poking around his apprentice lately. Got that?”
All I can do is nod. He seems to be weakening as we speak. I notice the strange fluid he drank and catch a bitter scent. Beekeeper’s root and more. He’s been using some of his herbal brews to keep himself going. He is closer than I realize.
Old Man Green slides back down into his bed. “You’re a good boy, HuanJen, I’m proud of you. Damn proud. I want you to know that. You settled in good.”
“Thank you for your help.” Sadness is choking me. I extend a hand, taking his gnarled fingers into my grip. “Thank you, Shaman, for everything.”
He laughs a bit. “I need to sleep, Huan, I’m so tired. Will you be well?”
“No. I’m worried, I’m …”
“My time is up. You’ll be fine. Go try and cheer up, I need to sleep. Hey, maybe we’ll talk later.”
I stand, releasing my grip. I still have nothing to say, but he knows how I feel. I walk out of the room, and already he’s snoring.
JADE: METRIS:
I can’t pay attention at the meeting. OK, I’m not missing much - budget blah blah blah, etc. Still …
Part of me wants to rip Huan’s head off of his shoulders, but I know that’s just me, that’s … I hate not knowing things. And no, he probably shouldn’t have told me until he knew. But …
Old Man Green. I didn’t put it together, damn it.
Huan told me that he was his mentor when he came here, not like with Kevin, but he helped him settle in, get organized. As long as I’ve known Huan, he’s been helping Old Man Green out. Green was sick, green broke his leg, green wasn’t well …
And Huan’s friends wanted me to get the cleric to lighten up a little. They didn’t know, they didn’t ask him. HuanJen is always there, always reliable, sure he’s a bit busy, but he’d tell you if something was wrong, right?
I live with the guy. I know better. He’s the kind of person who takes an interest in what goes on with other people, and expects others do to the same, just like where he grew up. Metris is like that in a way, but not in the way he’s used too.
He asked for an assistant months ago, according to Rake. Green’s been on and off for awhile. It fits.
Damn it, I want to be angry, I want to yell at him, but …
What am I going to do? Kevin’s right, you don’t broadcast something like this. Huan probably didn’t even think about telling me or, knowing him, didn’t want to worry me. If he even knew in the first place - and Green hates rumors, innuendo, and so on. He won’t say anything unless he’s sure.
And now for the first time since HuanJen, that irritatingly, annoyingly … likable … man took me in, I’m worried about him. Its not because his friends are worried - its real worry.
HUAN-JEN: METRIS
How do I describe Old Man Green? He too is beyond words.
Walking out of his house, I give Sister Cynthia a civil goodbye, one that is returned with what could be taken as concern. Exhaustion and perhaps compassion are weakening her prim and proper manner, I expect Kevin will find her hard to deal with when he returns. I’ve heard rumors that she gets very emotional when overtired.
How can …
I could take a trolley back to the apartment, they’re easier in many cases than walking, but I need the fresh air. I need to be among people. I need the reminder.
Many know Old Man Green helped me settle in to Metris, like he had many others, but no experience like that can be summed up easily. He knew and disliked my predecessor, who applied herself little, but was glad to have me. He was a native shaman, an eclectic, something I understood - the Order had always been open to new knowledge and had little patience for theological acrobatics over practical needs. I suppose he was not so much a second father to me, but a third, after the Celestial Master who had taken me in.
For a moment, I have the urge to return to the ancient house. It will do no good - shall I wake him to say “I just want to talk because you may die?” He needs his rest. He doesn’t need me guiding his death or his life.
The emptiness is gnawing at me. He was my friend. He was my mentor in the area of life. I had a head full of ideas and I had cultivated my Virtue and my skills, but as many had warned, those mean nothing if you are separate from people.
He took me into Metris, helped me get my Zone, he reminded me sometimes you have to be open to accomplish things. He reminded me of what I kept forgetting in my naivet��, in my fragments of youthful arrogance when I sought power and not wisdom.
“Xai,” he said, “Is as one should be, open, the where-we-all-go. Yeah, it sounds like corny crap, but you know its real. You got a lot in your head but most of it just means you have to learn what it really means. Open up, cause you’re already where you should be, boy. Welcome to the Center.”
The Holy Man is open. He’s already where he belongs. He’s open to everything, everyone, because that’s where he comes from.
So I listened, and learned. I had my own territory, people within my sphere of keeping. I … became.
He did other things, things I am grateful for. He helped me learn about native plants. He got me my first assignment for Metris, as an arbiter, an opening to my freelance work for the city and the Gendarmes. But mostly - he was just himself, and I learned. He was just himself.
He was.
A pause at a local restaurant for some herbal tea refreshes me. All I can do is carry on as I am, honor his wishes and his memory. His memory - in my mind he is essentially dead. There is nothing more to do.
I am not always good at doing nothing. But all I can do is head home. Nothing to say, nothing more to do. Just be myself.
If I don’t see you again, goodbye my mentor and friend. Thank you. I am here - and nothing ever ends.
JADE: APARTMENT
I have no idea what to do. He’s not home, and … well damn, I have to say something.
I end up grabbing a glass of Spectral (which I know is just a fruit juice, but is addictive enough that I think of it as liquid crack), get one of the books I’ve been reading from Huan’s library, and head for the porch.
Maybe a little reading will help. A nice, relaxing hour in the sun reading the Tao Te Ching and trying to figure out how to talk to my partner about his friend and mentor dying.
Sure. Yeah, that’ll be easy. Great. It’s easier when HuanJen handles the sensitive crap. I was already sensitive today with Kevin, for the gods’ sake. I may have run out for all I know.
Destiny’s more of a bitch than I am.
HUAN-JEN: BALCONY
Once I am
near my apartment, I cross up to my balcony. Jade practically falls out of her chair at my unexpected appearance. The book she is reading falls to the floor.
“Huan!” her exclamation doesn’t sound happy. Actually, she looks a bit exhausted. She probably still is angry - my transportation seems to disturb her.
“Sorry.” she’s glaring at me. “I didn’t think you’d be here. I thought …”
“Ah, sorry.” She manages to relax back into her seat. “The zappy thing always gets me. Gods, I’m being a bitch. It was a real mess today.”
“Let me guess … everyone sent their assistance and apprentices?”
“Bingo. Like you said. Walking as a pain.”
She’s tired, I can feel it. The exhaustion fills the air like a chill. More than I’d expect actually.
“Here, let me rub your feet.” I offer, smiling. She looks at me strangely, aglow with confusion, and then nods. She still has discordant attitudes about physical contact, but she loves my massages. Go figure.
“Hey, sure.” Jade relaxes as I kneel next to her and remove her boots. “I never asked how you learned to do that, and those backrubs …”
“I have extensive training, Jade. Twenty years is time to learn much.” I take her left foot in my hand. Her fur always feels strange to me - very short, but very thick. Not like anything I’ve encountered before. I quickly begin massaging the proper points on the bare sole of her foot.
JADE: BALCONY
Gods that feels good.
Huan knows a lot about the human body, including some things I’m sure I shouldn’t ever ask about. He really likes giving massages as well - I’ve seen him climb on top of Lorne and give him the backrub of his life. Again, sometimes it’s like having a butler.
I …
… am now successfully avoiding the issue.
He’s there rubbing my feet, making me feel better, and I’m just letting him do it. I can’t stand this.
“So … how’s Old Man Green?”
HuanJen’s hands stop for a moment. He knows, I can tell - he always knows things. It’d be downright scary if he wasn’t who he was.
Crossworld of Xai Page 8
