He wasn’t sure what he was feeling or what he should feel. He had apparently made peace with Jade, but he felt no sense of success. At best, there was a sensation of a sickness passing.
“Slate?” Garnet’s voice flitted in from the living room.
“I’m fine.” Slate half-lied.
Slate and his fiancee shared a small apartment, and it made avoiding someone extremely difficult. Right now he wanted desperately to avoid anyone. Right now, that was impossible.
“Slate, come on out, let’s talk.”
With Garnet, it was very impossible to avoid her. She managed to be commanding and assertive while remaining inoffensive and demure. He knew that her offer was more of a request or even an order.
Garnet was red furred fluff forged from steel. He was amazed some people thought that he was somehow “in control” of the relationship.
“Fine.”
Slate hulked out of the room to find Garnet pacing around the kitchen area. She was more worried than he’d expected, judging by her expression.
“I talked to Jade. Things are better. We’ll probably see each other soon.”
“Good.” Garnet stopped her course and looked at him, worry in her blue eyes. “Are you well?”
“I … don’t know.” Slate dropped onto the couch with a squeal of protesting springs. A part of his mind that wanted to be distracted made a note they’d probably need a new one in a year.
Garnet scowled. “Look, this isn’t totally about you and her, is it?”
“Probably not.” Slate’s gray-furred brow wrinkled in thought.
“I know what it is. I definitely know. Let’s talk about it.”
“Garnet …”
“I slept with HuanJen. I slept with Jade’s roommate and boss.” Garnet crossed her arms. “There. Now, let’s finish this once and for all.”
“I thought we did a few months ago.” Slate stared at a point six inches to the left of Garnets face. He wanted to look her in the eye, but couldn’t.
“Apparently it didn’t help, Slate.”
Slate said nothing. Garnet sagged, walked over to her boyfriend, and leaned against him. Her boyfriend sat stock-still for a moment, then put a muscular arm around her red-furred shoulders.
“I’m sorry,” Slate said. He was saying that a lot as of late. He didn’t like it because it meant he was doing many stupid things.
“He is my friend. I was alone, and he … helped me out. As a friend.” Garnet’s voice held layers of emotion, from shame to fondness. “It may not be what you’re used to but, after watching my life fall apart twice, it was damn well nice.”
Slate nodded mutely. One could see thoughts moving behind his eyes, flowing like lava.
“He did it for me, Slate. It was nice to be held, to feel good, be respected. The best thing really was when he wrapped himself around me in bed, like you do, and let me feel safe and warm. He made it very clear he made no … claim.”
“I understand.” Slate closed his eyes. “It was bad, wasn’t it? You don’t talk about it much.”
“My life on my Earth and then Xai was gone. Yes. It was bad.”
“I wish I had been there. I’d never have let you feel alone.”
Garnet put an arm around Slate’s waist, or at least tried. “I found you finally, that’s good enough. You’ve always been there ever since.”
“Thank you.” Slate opened his eyes and smiled at his lover. “You know when I first saw you I couldn’t stop looking at you. I think half the reason I did that second inspection was to see you.”
“I had my suspicions. I signed the papers, remember?. So, why’d you come back? My incredible looks? My charm?”
Slate almost laughed at Garnet’s wry expression. “Your eyes. There was so much going on behind them I had to know what it was.”
“Any second thoughts?” The question was surprisingly anxious.
“None. Not ever. Never.” Slate caressed Garnet’s arm, gray fur rubbing against crimson. “I think it is hard for me to deal with the two most important women in my life being involved with the same man, and a man I do not honestly understand.”
“She seems to understand him. Slate, I’ve sat by long enough, and now I’m going to say it - Jade is very happy and its time you accept that and that she does things her way. I’m surprised you hadn’t learned to do that before.”
A nod was the only response Slate managed. His thoughts were still moving, swirling around a center only he could see. For a fundamentally honest man, Slate was rarely as open as Garnet would expect; he was a great, mysterious fortress of a person.
“You’re thinking she may get involved with HuanJen?” Garnet asked, a bit confused. Romantically, HuanJen was a blank in her mind. Affectionate, yes, caring, yes, sexual, definitely, but romantic? Clairice had definitely thought not.
“He is not like the previous men she associated with,” Slate said carefully, each word selected precisely. “Her past loves tended to be rather loud, colorful, flamboyant. I didn’t like them. She could have done better.”
“Huan hardly sounds like her type anyway. I even heard she went out with one of Huan’s friends a few days ago, so who knows.” Garnet nuzzled Slate’s broad chest. “Relax, she probably knows what she’s doing.”
Slate shifted his companion into his lap, holding her tightly. Garnet responded by draping himself over his large frame, happily soaking up the affection.
“How do you put up with me?” Slate asked, almost, but not totally joking.
“I love you. You know that,” Garnet breathed. “I can’t resist you.”
“Really?” Slate gently shifted Garnet around, until she was facing away from him. One of his large, gentle hands slipped under her shirt and idly caressed her stomach.
“I … oh …” Garnet growled. “Definitely.”
“I see.” Slate’s hand drifted lower, starting to unbutton her pants. “I’m flattered.”
Garnet moaned as Slate pulled her close with his free arm, nipping her ears. His huge body seemed to surround her like a living blanket.
“Yes, I … oh, right there.” Garnet shuddered as Slate reached into her jeans and began stroking her womanhood. The delicacy and precision of the touches contrasted with his strength and bulk in an amusing, arousing picture. He was like a mountain being precise.
“I know what you like, dear.” Slate bit the back of Garnet’s neck, elicity a pleased squeal.
“Yes, I … I wish …” The female Vulpline’s sentence trailed off. Slate’s fingers were finding every sensitive spot within her sex. He’d always claimed he was sexually inexperienced, a statement Garnet figured was either testimony to his modesty or his ability to learn quickly.
“I know what you want, yes. I do too, so much. However, I told you, not until we’re married.”
“I really, sometimes …”
“Hush.” Slate continued his ministrations. “I’m going to give you a house and a life and everything you deserve. Everything. Then, only then, will I be worthy to … . know you so totally. You deserve the best. I will give it to you.”
“Gods.” Garnet’s eyes went wide. Slate was all around her, inside and out. Time was meaningless. “When you’re like this, I want …”
“Ah, good things are worth waiting for, love. Like you.”
“Like you, I … oh my.” Garnet felt herself loose control of her body as her climax tore up her spine in a lighnting bold of pleasure. She cried out happily, leaning back against Slate until the torrent of sensations had passed.
There was just his heat and scent and the feeling of her passions cooling delightfully.
“You seem better,” the red-furred Vulpine finally managed to say. It was a stark understatement, but at the moment she wasn’t going to worry about phrasing.
“I am. I wanted to remind you of … us.”
“And be reminded?”
“Yes.”
Garnet sighed contentedly. The sound of Slate’s breathing, the rise and fall of his ch
est against her back, made up her whole world for a moment. Everything seemed to exist as a blazing moment of perfection.
“I do trust you.” Slate said with finality. “Let’s … clean up and do something else, lets go out and enjoy ourselves.”
“Sure,” Garnet purred. “I’ll tell Clairice we can go shopping later. Say, was that an apology?”
“Of sorts.”
“Show me a full apology sometime, I’m intrigued …”
“All things in time, my love …”
INTERLUDE: JADE’S BEDROOM
October 16, 1999 AD - Xaian Standard Calendar
I’m lying in my bed. I can’t sleep.
I’m going to join Guild Esoteric tomorrow.
I’m going to become some kind of cleric.
About four months ago I was a mid-level information-shover in Colony. If someone had told me then that I’d be happily apprenticing myself to some guy whose name sounds like Chinese take-out to become a Magician-Priestess, I’d have laughed. I’d probably also had dad keep tabs on them in case we needed a hit called in. I was like that.
It’s months later and I’m living in an apartment as large as my old place, sharing it with a man who is sort of my boss, definitely my partner, definitely my friend, and soon to be my mentor. I do things like console people and set up marriages and exorcisms. Its not so much a one-eighty degree change from my own life as a five-hundred forty.
I like it.
I’m afraid.
Because when I do it, when I take the oath, its all over. My little old life traded in for something bigger. Part of me says that if I don’t like it I can quit. But I know I can’t, I just can’t.
Clerics and shamans and their kind on Xai aren’t the usual money-hoarding types Colony scammed or watched or manipulated. It’s the frontier of Earths here. There’s no room for bullshit because bullshit gets you killed at worst, and at best folks know you’re bullshitting. Here, the Beyond is a lot closer.
I want it so badly. I see HuanJen, see my partner, my friend, standing like a mountain with foundations in infinity. He’s at home in this world, at home in the universe. I want that so much, so much I can taste it.
I hope I’m up to it because I can’t turn back. I don’t know why, hell I ran away from my old life. But here, I just cant, just won’t.
Part of me wonders if it is HuanJen. I’m kinda attached to him. I wonder at times, maybe if we’ve got something going on. He looks at me I know; I’ve joked about it and made him blush. I wonder. I get curious.
Sometimes, I’m not sure. My love life never made much sense.
But what I like about him, what I know means something, is that he’s part of life, part of this world and the next, part of the buzzing vastness of Xai. That I’m sure of. He’s my foundation and my gate, my dear friend.
More, well, I don’t know. I try not to worry.
With a friend like him, maybe I can reach out and touch the Otherworld. Forget it all, leave behind the Colony and the conspiracies and the plotting. I never bought Rake’s born-again stuff, but I sort of understand it now.
Tomorrow … tomorrow I step into something bigger.
At least I’m not alone.
A WEEK IN THE CRUCIBLE
October 23, 1999 - Xaian AD Standard
Jade looked at the alchemical equipment she’d gathered, at HuanJen’s scrawled directions, and the pile of herbs and other reagents on his workbench. Somehow, according to her mentor/partner, they would produce the sleeping powder that was one of his stocks-in-trade as a Zone Cleric. However, without the presence of the magician-priest, she doubted they would do so without some trial and error on her part. Mainly error.
She shook her head violently, trying to clear her mind, her dark hair flying about. No. She could do this. She wasn’t just HuanJen’s secretary and assistant anymore, she was his apprentice. Inheritor of his mantle. Wielder of the Lakkom. Student in the mystic secrets of the Order of the world of Sanctum, member of Guild Esoteric …
The workbench and its contents sat there, unimpressed with her mental recitation. The study loomed around her, as if the bookshelves HuanJen had so carefully stocked over the years were staring at her, waiting for her to actually do something.
Reluctantly, Jade began the onerous task of mixing, crushing, blending, boiling, and everything else that she’d have to get used to in her new career, one that had only really started last Sunday …
“I stand between the known and the unknown.”
“I walk where there is no path, I speak without words, I see the form without form.”
“I join Guild Esoteric, under the tutelage of HuanJen.”
“I pledge to abide by the rules and guidelines of the Guild.”
“I, Jade Shalesdaughter, make this claim. These are my words.”
Ritual had never been Jade’s strong point; most of her experience with it had had been watching others engage in what seemed to be pointless activities. The swearing in was different. Standing there in the vast main hall of Guild Esoteric, it meant something more than meaningless activity; the ritual felt like a manifestation of something else.
“Congratulations.” HuanJen had hugged her when she was done, obviously delighted. He’d been smiling at her throughout the ceremony, while she’d felt herself all but trembling. Cardinal Byrd, who’d overseen her swearing in, was an imposing figure during the ceremony, even if he’d suddenly turned warm and friendly when he gave her the appropriate papers and membership card.
“Thanks.” Jade couldn’t believe it had happened. About four months ago she’d been another child of Colony, another cog in the conspiracy machine. Now she was Jade, future Magician-Priestess and full member of Guild Esoteric. She wasn’t sure if it felt like she was awaking from a dream or starting one.
There had been several more congratulations. Only Guild members were allowed at swearing-in ceremonies, but that still meant Rake, Kevin, Magnus, and even Sister Cynthia had come by to witness the ceremony as a small clot of clerical goodwill.
“Ah, I am so proud, ah, Jade.” Rake shook her hand enthusiastically. “I’m glad you’re, ah, with us.”
“Glad to be there.” Jade had felt herself misting up. She belonged, and not because of family or conspiracy, but by choice. Her choice. It felt different.
She was going to be someone instead of being forced to be someone else, and she had people to be someone with.
Jade quietly blended the various exotic ingredients from Chin’s, measuring and re-measuring each proportion. HuanJen’s sleeping powder didn’t contain anything that seemed potentially deadly, explosive, or otherwise dangerous, but he had mentioned common errors and their embarrassing side effects. He hadn’t said if her concoction would be delivered to clients - and knowing him, it was deliberate, to make sure she stayed focused.
Clients. She had clients now, sharing HuanJen’s Zone of Keeping instead of just being an assistant. She had to go see them, talk to them, and not necessarily with her mentor there. Huan appeared to be fully confident in her ability to handle the job.
She had her doubts.
She knew she wanted this, wanted it more than anything. Something that had awakened when she’d seen that exorcism in the Nax had grown over time, or perhaps it had always been there. She had to reach out, touch the big picture.
However, the big picture was, in the end, disturbingly large.
“You’ll do well, I think,” Sister Cynthia had said.
The Xaian Nun had met her at Brenner’s Funeral hall. Brenner was one of HuanJen’s constant clients, always seeming to need some last rites, a family’s reassurance of a lack of hauntings, and the occasional pharmaceutical assistance for a steady mind and body. Brenner and Family Funeral Home was in a business with a guaranteed if unsteady income, but the strangeness of a hundred Earths made for some terrible stresses at time.
“I’m hope so,” Jade said as she and her older companion walked out of the foyer of the Funeral Home. “I’m glad Brenner was in
a good mood. Of course, he probably knows I was just making a delivery …”
“Perhaps.” Cynthia adjusted her habit as the October winds struck the two. “Mr. Brenner has much to deal with - but he will always be polite.”
“Good - er, don’t you have to get back to your classes?”
Cynthia shook her head. “It’s the lunch hour, dear, I’m only ten minutes away anyway. I just wanted to see how you were doing.”
“Thanks. Well, I’m heading north anyway.” Jade tried to figure out what to say as the two of them walked down Granger Street. Cynthia was a polite, if not overly social woman - her current mood was unexpected. She was usually quite businesslike and even cold, especially when busy.
“Just keeping in touch. I always thought HuanJen had chosen an excellent assistant, and I was glad to see you as his apprentice.”
“That means a lot.” Jade felt a slight blush under her fur. “So, how long did it take you to get used to having a Zone?”
“I’m not sure I did. Oh, don’t look at me like that.”
Jade suddenly felt a cold rush in her heart. So far today she hadn’t had to see any clients with major problems, but suddenly realizes she’d walked directly into one of Cynthia’s.
“Still thinking about teaching full time?” Jade asked cautiously. A few old rumors swam around in her head. Cynthia had been unsure of her dual roles as a Zone Cleric and a teacher of the Magedlinic Order.
“I am. You know we have more people coming here all the time, and my Zone is small. I do have the children to consider.” Cynthia favored Jade with a rare smile. “With you around …”
“Oh no.” Jade stopped. Cynthia stepped to one side to get out of the way of the omnipresent pedestrians any Xaian sidewalk boasted. Jade clutched her coat around her like armor. Things were moving too damn fast.
“Jade, I didn’t mean you taking over. With you and HuanJen as a team it’s a little more stability for the area, a little more chance to weather any changes, distribute the labor, bring in someone new. Please, I have faith in you but we all have our limits, dear.”
“Whew.” Jade sagged and began walking again. “I’m sorry, it’s just … I think it’s settling in what I’m doing. The Zone Clerics …”
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