Jade imagined her skull looking at some startled visitor. Thighbones built into an arch, ribs in a light fixture, fingerbones used to make runes. Dead and rotted, her core spread across the Ossuary, another link in the chain of bones. Time swirled around her in an embrace that never went away.
… and the calligraphic cat-scratch of a busy pen turning lives into prose …
Heartbeat thudding in time to unknown songs. Skin stretched into infinity. Thoughts falling away like molting feathers. A vast emptiness of coherence you couldn’t describe because it made too much sense. Her previous thoughts seemed so damn small.
Jade sat on the floor, head in her hands. It was huge, it was all so huge, and she wanted to give a name to it. It was why she shouldn’t worry, it was why she cared for HuanJen. It was something bigger than words, screaming at the back of her mind, and she wasn’t sure what it was.
And nothing was wrong. It never had been. It couldn’t be.
Jade’s breathing slowed. She felt the terror and confusion and anger drain away into the bony decorations of the Ossuary. Not exactly sure as to what she was doing, Jade nodded and laughed to herself. Something made sense but she couldn’t express it. Laughter was the only thing that came.
The Ossuary wasn’t so bad. Nothing was that bad really, unless you let it be. Things died and went on, and nothing ended. Skulls into decorations, life into death, the sun traveling through the sky. Everything was fine.
She was fine. She was more than fine, and life went on as always.
Clairice Bell walked through the Ossuary.
She knew most of the rooms by the entrance well. She’d come here every year since she’d heard of it and the observations people made there. Her trip to Xai had been involuntary, and so to say goodbye to those on her Earth and those that had died on her journey, she came here.
She always cried, and she always felt better. It was a good tradeoff.
“Jade?” Clairice’s addressed the dark-furred vulpine when she passed by her. Jade looked dazed, almost disoriented or drunk.
“Hello, Clairice.” Jade smiled. “Ready?”
“Yes. Are you well? I know this place can be strange.”
“I’m fine.”
There was a serene air around Jade that was unexpected, though Clairice had to admit she found it a nice contrast to the apprentice cleric’s usual, slightly agitated energy.
“You don’t look too good.”
Jade finally looked right at Clairice. “I’m … I’m thinking.”
“This place will do that to you.” The nurse laughed in a vague attempt to inject some understandable emotion into the conversation. It failed.
“Let’s find HuanJen,” Jade said, heading off in what appeared to be a random direction. Clairice felt she had no choice but to follow.
HuanJen waited in the entrance to the Ossuary, hands folded, apparently lost in thought. His cap was tucked under one elbow, his fingers locked over his belly. To those passing by, he looked more alive that the decorations only by contrast.
The magician-priests eyes flew open. He seemed to emerge out of the background as if coming into focus. Jade’s voice echoed in his ears from a distant corridor.
Some nervousness dripped into his thoughts, igniting flares of self-doubt. He knew these rituals were important, knew Jade had to be exposed to them. She was his apprentice.
She was his friend.
She was slowly becoming more.
She was also possessed of an impressive temper. Jade didn’t have a problem with anger; she was very good at it. He was having a few second thoughts as to his plans.
Voices closer. She and Clairice, definitely. HuanJen strode forward as Jade came into view. She was beautiful, she was …
Jade pulled HuanJen to her and kissed him with unrestrained passion. The mystic reciprocated without hesitation, holding his Vulpine companion tightly. A few of the visitors to the Ossuary stopped to watch, including dark-skinned man with a skull painted on his face, who laughed and clapped happily.
“I see there’s no hard feelings,” HuanJen said finally, catching his breath.
“Why should there be?”
The magician-priest smiled, looking into Jade’s green-starfire eyes.
“I … I am just glad there are not.”
Time passed …
Jade remembered the bus ride. She talked to HuanJen about a few things. Life and death, cycles. She mainly thought a lot, his hand in hers, the scenery of the Xaian countryside passing by in a countryside green and night-sky-blue blur.
The feelings fell apart when she tried to grasp them. They fled when she reached for them. But something was there, something there since she first saw an exorcism, since Huan had once showed her how he saw the world. It felt whole, different.
It was driving her crazy. It tormented her until Clairice went to bed and HuanJen made his usual evening appearance in her bed room. She’d grabbed him and held him to her, saying nothing for a few minutes.
“So, what happened?” Jade finally asked.
HuanJen idly stroked the hair on Jade’s belly, his head resting in the crook of her arm. “What do you mean?”
“I … I felt something. A flash a moment where everything made sense. I was walking around, I was creeped out, and then … bang. Everything was fine, everything was. Like what you showed me when Old Man Green died. I’ve been thinking about it since we got back. You can tell, I know. You just didn’t say anything, you little shit.”
“Yes?” HuanJen smiled slightly in the dark. “I understand.”
“Was it real?”
“Did it happen? Did you feel something?”
Jade scowled. Huan was turning into a fortune cookie again. “Well I felt something. Yes.”
“Then it is real. It is an experience.”
“Thanks.” Jade’s answer was sarcastic, but it wasn’t her usual level of sarcasm. HuanJen for all he was in her life was her mentor, and deserved some respect. Or, in her case, less disrespect.
HuanJen cautiously rolled over to face his lover. “Don’t think inside and out, don’t expect an experience to have a separate existence. Nothing does.”
“Fundamental Unity. I read that in the library. I think I got it for a bit” The Vulpine’s green eyes stared into the darkness. “I’ve got a lot to learn.”
“You will. I know you. I will keep … being there when you need to learn.”
“What was it? What would you call it?”
HuanJen thought for a moment. “An understanding. There are moments when we stop dividing things and mapping things and live. Life is not a word, but a process. Death sometimes reminds us of that.”
“That’s deep.”
“That’s what I get paid the big money for.”
Jade laughed. “Huan?”
“Yes?” HuanJen ran his fingers over Jade’s lips.
Jade smiled, closing her eyes. “I’m glad we’re together. I … I think it can work out. Even after a few incidents.”
“After that kiss, I’m inclined to agree. I usually don’t think of the Ossuary as a place to become rampantly aroused.”
“… and you should get to your own bed. Tomorrow, more lessons. A lot more. I want to learn.”
“And more kisses?” The Magician-Priest asked with a curious, playful tone to his voice.
“We’ll see. I’ve got some studying to start on.”
“I know, but … I do hope you’ll take a break in a few weeks.”
Jade tried judging the strange, happy tone in HuanJen’s voice, and couldn’t. “Why?”
“I got us tickets to the costume party before Thanksgiving. The big Guild ball. I got them this morning.”
“What?” It didn’t seem HuanJen’s style, even if he had one. The vulpine smiled curiously.
“Well, it’s date-like. Rake wasn’t using them … and don’t ask, I don’t know how he got them. We can still do something tomorrow, but I figured this would be special.”
“I’ll be darned. I
didn’t know you had it in you. What will we go as?”
“How about two people in love, but you pick the costumes …”
Special thanks to Patrick Harpur, Lao-Tzu, Ken Wilber, and Robert Anton Wilson.
INTERLUDE: ODDS
November 7th, 1999 AD - Xaian Standard Calendar
Temple Street was Xai’s center of religious commerce and activity, a colorful, eclectic matrix of spirituality and trade. From the north where the Guildhall of Guild Esoteric sat to the south where it ran into Broad Street, it was where you went to pray, to talk religion or to purchase strange and wonderful items likely rare or illegal on several Earths. Visitors wondered how it always looked so modern, yet so quaint, a timeless and ever-timely place to visit.
The explanation was that Guild Esoteric appreciated history, organization, and the ability to change at the opening of a Portal. Clerics and philosophers had to move with the times before the times got ahead of them. Besides, spiritual or not, everyone had to make a living somehow.
Rake, minister of the Church of Christ the Worker (or Works of Christ if you went with the more fashionable name), looked over the Northern Food Court of Temple Street with satisfaction. The stocky, black-robed man radiated a kind of spastic enthusiasm.
“It’s, ah, going to be wonderful,” Rake said cheerily.
Next to the minister, HuanJen stroked his chin thoughtfully. He was the virtual opposite of his companion; tall and thin instead of short and thickly-built, dark-haired instead of blond, serene instead of enthusiastic. It was a contrast that made the clerical companions stand out even among their colorful brethren.
“You think everyone can get it done?” the young sage asked thoughtfully.
“Ah, of, ah course.” Rake produced a picture from the folds of his robe and presented it proudly. “Look at it, ah, that’ll give my parishioners something to do! Everyone who can is pitching in.”
HuanJen examined the picture, apparently a copy of an artist’s conception. “This is the new one, isn’t it. That looks more practical. Larger as well.”
“Immigration.” Rake put his hands on his hips, looking over the restaurants, stalls, and seats that would soon face the force of his church and others helping with the rebuilding. “We need to, ah, be ready for more, ah, business from what the University says. I’d say, seventy, ah, eighty percent chance we get it done on time.”
“Good.” HuanJen nodded. “I hope you can get Clairice involved. And Joe, he’s really not himself lately from what I hear.”
“Perhaps.” Rake began pacing around the food court, slowly, his mathematician’s mind calculating needs and times for his congregation’s contribution to the project. The Church of Christ the Worker firmly believed that works and faith were intermingled, and Rake ensured that congregation had plenty of both.
“Rake, a question, I …” HuanJen began as he followed the minister around.
“We’re, ah, still not sure about you and, ah Jade.”
The Magician-Priest raised an eyebrow. “I see. I rather felt that it was obvious.”
“Ah, quite so, ah, brother.” Rake’s thick face shifted into a grin. “Current estimates … oh, ah, I’d say, sixty, ah, seventy, percent chance of success.”
“Really?” HuanJen stopped, crossing his arms thoughtfully. “Of course, you once thought I could be homosexual.”
“Ah, you were at the bar during, ah, men’s night, danced with Lorne …” Rake turned on his heel, looking up at HuanJen knowingly.
“He was lonely and I didn’t know what ‘Men’s Night’ meant there. Actually, I was surprised to find out what ‘Ladies Night’ meant there.”
“Ah, and that song, ah …”
“I had never heard those song that were covered, Rake, I thought they were from a local band, like Cinnabar Storm. Dance music of Nexial Earth seventies is foreign to me.”
“Well, ah, trust me, folks are generally positive on you and, ah, Jade. I ,ah , really like her.”
“Yes.” HuanJen nodded, eyes focused elsewhere.
“And, ah, I think rather, ah, serious about her job as apprentice. Very, ah, commonly so. That, ah, lowers the odds, ah, HuanJen.”
The young Fang-Shih looked at his older companion seriously. Rake was usually seen as a likable, practical, occasionally naive older man by people. Once you got to know him however, you became aware of a mind that clicked away like an abacus working with a heart as warm as summer. His opinions were to be given the proper weight.
“She had an experience and has focused more on our work. It happens as you’ve noted, Rake, commonly. We are fine.”
“I see.” Rake clasped his hands behind his back. “Youthful enthusiasm. You are still, ah, courting?”
“Dating. Yes. Admittedly, with us, the difference between a lesson, the job, and relaxing is nebulous to some, but we are. And, yes, my friend, it seems well. She is just adjusting.”
“You are, ah, waiting, then. To, ah, see what happens.”
“She’s finding herself, Rake. I can wait and be sure to be there when she returns. Give her something that is a hundred percent guaranteed. Me, there when needed. As always. She’s worth it.”
Rake nodded, letting out a soft laguh. “Always, ah, with words, despite, ah, your upbringing. Well, I’ll adjust the odds, ah, higher if anyone asks.”
“Just tell them that I and she are fine.” HuanJen said childingly. “Playing with the odds too much can create self-fulfilling prophecies. Let us stick with the regular kind, such as they are.”
The minister nodded at the cleric’s comments. “I suppose you don’t try and predict Jade, do you?”
“No. I recommend, brother, that you do not do the same …”
FRUSTRATIONS
November 7, 1999, Xaian Standard Calendar: Kevin Anderson
The shamans of Xai wear our special motley; the seven colors of the rainbow, black, and white in all of our clothing. If you’re a real traditionalist, those are the only shades you wear to the grave.
We weave talismans into our hair, symbols of our gods and spirits, tokens of jewel and metal and bone. Some shamans, most of them my age, have taken to the fad of using clip-ons. I’m tempted to go that route, but it seems so disrespectful.
I look in my bedroom mirror. Many colors, symbols woven into my hair (which needs another wash, its not as blond as it should be). I am dressed as a shaman, I have all the accouterments.
Do I feel like one that talks to the gods and spirits of Xai? No. I just look it. It’s getting harder to my job every day. The spirits are quieter (and I hear the chitters in my ears and sadly smile at their protest). I am tired, and despite all my efforts I am not him. I am not even me anymore.
Kevin Anderson. Apprentice to the late Old Man Green. Shaman of sorts.
“Time to face the day.”
There’s a knock at the door downstairs. I almost call for Mhadi to get it, but he’s not here very often. Green’s possessions are just about distributed, the house is in the Guild’s name with me as caretaker, he has no reason to stay over. I suppose I should be enthused, but I’m not. I don’t know him that well but at least he was company.
A few leaps down the stairs (my legs are not what they used to be, and I’m not even nineteen), and I’m at the door. Hopefully, its my breakfast; Mrs. LeBeau has been very helpful as of late, and she can certainly cook.
“Hello Kevin, thought I’d drop by.” A pair of green eyes stare at me from a black-furred face.
Well, it’s not breakfast, it’s Jade. HuanJen’s Vulpine assistant. Not anyone I was particularly ready to see, and I feel terribly guilty about that. Lately, the last week or two, she’s been nosy, worse than her mentor can be, and certainly less subtle and more verbal. I don’t need nosy right now, I need space.
“Hello Jade.” I can’t believe I had nine hours of sleep last night, and I still sound dead.
“Hey, figured I’d see how you were doing …”
Here it comes. I don’t know what it is exactly, but
it’ll involve me and my life. Jade has all the subtlety of a kick in the groin, and often the same result.
” … wondered if you’d heard about Magus’ apprentice. Figure’d I’d drop by.”
That was unexpected. I know part of the reason is to see if I’m OK, but the rest of the news intrigues me. Shelby? What happened with him and Magus this time?
“Come on in.” I lead her into the living room and she takes a seat on one of the remaining chairs, making herself at home. I decide not to sit, hoping she won’t be here long and that she’ll get the message.
“Well, get this. Dell got him. Yeah, he’s working for the Rancelmen. Seriously.”
I feel cold. Shelby with the Rancelmen? “You’re kidding.”
Jade shakes her head. She’s got that deadly serious attitude that usually means something is really wrong. “No, I’m not. Dell finally got an esotericist on his side. Shelby may not be the best, but he’s got a lot of background, and you know Magus insisted he take classes at the University.”
“Wonderful.” I decide to sit on the coffee table. I’m feeling light-headed. “Shelby just lost some friends, hasn’t he?”
“I don’t know.” Jade leans over conspiratorially, the top half of the Lakkom peeking over her shoulder, reminding me of a dragon’s tail. “Lets face it, it won’t go over well with some people.”
“Eh.” I shake my head. Enough problems. I’m not really an apprentice anyway. “Look, Dell’s just another in a long line of people who will be on the job a few years then be gone along with half his staff, just like the last time and the time before that all the way back to the Guildwar. It’s not my concern.”
“I just figured you should know.” Jade seems annoyed. “He was prowling around here before.”
“And I sent him away like you and HuanJen did. Look, I’ve got breakfast coming and I have my usual duties. Anything else?”
Jade nearly leaps out of her chair. “No. Just seeing how you were doing.”
Crossworld of Xai Page 23
