Solomon shook his head. “I need his way with people. Thank you for trying to help me, Miss Shalesdaughter.”
Jade gritted her teeth for a few heartbeats, telling herself his politeness was not of the sleazy salesman variety she’d encountered the first time they’d met. She told herself he was human. She told herself that if HuanJen was … well associated with him, there was a reason.
Then she caught Dell’s eyes.
“I …”
‘Haunted’ wasn’t the proper word for what was Dell’s eyes. There was something there mutilated and screaming for help.
For a hideous moment she knew how HuanJen felt when he looked into people, that strange way he seemed to look out of your head through your own eyes. It made you feel very, very small.
“Let me help you.” Jade said simply. She felt she was almost begging. The anger in her head was falling away like chunks of red-hot diamond.
Dell slumped, seeming to shrink. He gestured for Jade and headed toward a Trolley stop, one of the small roofed waiting areas around Metris. Fortunately there was no one in it, and he tossed himself onto the bench.
Jade looked down at her … well, client was the most appropriate term. He was taking off his hood, his braids and ponytail hanging limply. He wasn’t looking at her.
“Now, what …” Jade began.
“Earth 2-124 went nuclear.” Dell said.
Jade felt her mind start and stop several times. Then she realized what he’d meant - one of the earths had suffered a nuclear war.
Then, Jade realized what that truly meant. She wasn’t an expert on portals or the ways between the worlds, but you learned certain things very quickly when you lived on Xai.
“Oh, gods …” Jade said.
“We got the word the missiles were flying from people coming through, I gave the order. Everyone shut down the generator pylons,” Solomon continued, “No generators, no pliability to the fabric of the world. Very hard for even the most talented Navigators to get through.”
“You sure …”
“We’ve kept watch on the situation. The Navigators manning the Portals on their world were Guild. We knew. We had immigrants coming through now and then, and then a huge push. Then … it began. And I shut the doors and threw away the key. You … know what a nuclear impact does to a Portal that’s open?”
The Vulpine nodded. She clutched herself against cold real and imagined. “It disrupts the portals. It can drive Navigators insane from feedback. On some worlds, where the portals open easy … you can even get radiation and some of the shockwave.”
“Yes. So. I stopped it. So we’re safe. I ordered the pylons down. And I left gods know how many people on the other side hoping to come through dead. The situation was … total. War. We won’t even allow passage from this side for some time in case.”
“Yeah.” Jade felt completely unqualified to help the Rancelman.
Dell stared at the rain. He rubbed his eyes. “I never had to do anything like this. I desperately needed to talk to HuanJen. He’s the only one I can talk to.”
“He … gets a lot of that.”
Solomon leaned back against the bench, closing his eyes. His mouth twitched oddly.
“I closed the door on … how many people. Left them there. Left those who had just escaped wondering why no one came after them. Don’t say it’s my job, that doesn’t help. I heard a lot of that. Everyone said that. Everyone.”
“Yeah.” Jade sat next to Dell. She ignored the water on the bench, though she didn’t relish the thought of dealing with wet jeans on fur. “What … can I do?”
“I honestly don’t know,” Dell replied painfully. “I … know I did the right thing, but … I feel like hell, I …”
“Want someone to listen.”
The Head Rancelman replied with a nod. “It’s a huge thing, a terribly large thing, so hard to discuss. Part of me wants to ask for forgiveness, for an absolution of sins, and I don’t even believe in that.”
Jade shrugged. “HuanJen doesn’t do that either. He’s more of the serious-moral-rethinking kind of guy. HuanJen leaves you to face yourself. There’s no outside to forgive you.”
“Not very comforting, at times,” Dell retorted.
“No. Life’s not very comforting. I … wish I could provide some.”
“Oh, you are, you are,” the Rancelman replied. “Someone, just someone to talk to that’s not going to go ‘sir, it’s in the bylaws’ and make me want to punch them in the face. Just …”
Jade gathered what little wisdom she felt she had - and discarded it. It was time to talk from he heart.
“How do you feel?”
“Like I did something to protect us and that thanks to my orders a lot of people are dead. And many are alive and the portals aren’t a radioactive ruin. And that I’ll never know if I did the right thing because in this kind of thing, you only know what you did wrong.” Dell exhaled forcefully.
Jade sensed something else. “And?”
“I feel terrible.”
The apprentice mystic lay a hand on one of Dell’s own. The armor on his gauntlet felt like something around his mind as well as his body.
The Head Rancelman looked down at Jade’s furred hand, and then at her face. He smiled.
Then he burst into tears.
Jade found she could only hold him.
October 11, 2000 AD, Xaian Standard Calendar
Jade stared at her morning coffee. Coffee. HuanJen had gone out and bought her some despite the price, bless his heart. She reflected it was odd that she was enjoying coffee after a night talking to the man that made imports so difficult.
“Dearest?”
Jade looked over to see her lover gently sliding breakfast towards her. Muselix. Juice. Some fruit. Always there for her.
Always there.
“I’m thinking, love.” Jade said fondly.
“You did well. I am proud of you, Jade.” HuanJen kissed her on her furred forehead. Jade took a moment to caress his face.
Proud. Yes, it was nice to hear that. He …
“Dear?”
“I was a selfish bitch, love.” Jade answered properly.
“I see. Could you … at all clarify when this was?” HuanJen asked politely, though expectantly. He probably knew the answer.
“You know, you may not be a liar, but your not-telling-the-whole-truth really needs a lot of work.”
The Taoist mystic regarded his apprentice seriously. Then he nodded gravely and took a seat at the kitchen table.
“Dell. Yes. An unexpected test, wasn’t it.”
“Go on,” Jade urged, “you know. I know you know just like you know I know so say it. Go on.”
“You’re tested every day, Jade. You don’t need to prove anything to other people. Worrying about that traps you, you loose your essence, your Way. Dell tested you.”
“Yeah,” Jade nodded, “yeah. It scared the fuck out of me, HuanJen. You know why some of those comments by the apprentices scared me? They hit home. We’re hip-deep in this stuff, and I ask, am I ready? Can I handle it? Am I just dependent on you?”
“I have … ” HuanJen began, then paused. “No, saying I have faith in you can only do so much. I can treat you as an equal, but we know you are not an equal in skill nor will you be for many years. There are things I cannot do for you.”
“I know.” Jade moved her chair around, and lay her head on her lover’s shoulder. She knew part of him wished he could do everything for her, but that was only a part - the larger, wiser part of him was all to aware of limitations.
“Let us arrange some initiation, some experience for you to begin, then. Something completely on your own, but with some safety. A challenge, completely yours. Just as you planned, but for yourself, not others.”
“Yeah. Jade nodded. “Hey, good call there. Didn’t even have to do that little scan-thingy.”
“I understand.” HuanJen gave her a loving kiss, “You need to fly on your own a bit, something more than holding
hands and delivering potions. You’ll have it. I have an idea. I just need to talk to a few people …”
October 13, 200 AD, Xaian Standard Calendar
HuanJen and Solomon Dell slipped into Metris General.
Solomon Dell, dressed in some simple, colorful native clothes, felt he stood out far more than he would have without his Rancelman armor. Though HuanJen was taking him through the complex, ever-expanding hospital through back ways and side halls, he still felt terribly conspicuous.
“Why did you bring me here?” Dell asked carefully, dodging patients and personnel. Among the white-suited members of Guild Medical, he now felt even more obvious - on duty, even natives dressed in Guild-approved uniforms.
“To see something. To help.” HuanJen smiled in a friendly manner. It was honest friendliness, which promptly set off Dells more paranoid side. This was a very large side of Solomon Dell.
“You have to be mysterious,” Dell snarled with some concern. He did have to consider HuanJen a friend - since he didn’t fit any other category. Their relationship had ceased to be professional some time ago.
“Someone in my Zone had a baby girl.” HuanJen guided Dell into an elevator.
Solomon Dell’s high brow furrowed as he regarded his clerical companion. “And?”
The elevator door closed.
“You lost your daughter Dell.” HuanJen said simply. “You and I talked after you unloaded on Jade. You need to see life. Someone in my zone just had a daughter. I’m visiting. I believe the term is ‘you do the math.’”
The Head Rancelman nodded, looking at his feet.
“She did good, HuanJen. Jade did good despite … uh …”
“Being a bitch?” The word held no malice in the mouth of the Magician-Priest.
Dell’s mouth twisted, locking away other words until the right ones showed up in his mind. “I didn’t want to put it that way.”
“You were close,” the cleric acknowledged. Dell finally had to nod in response.
“She’s more than she seems. Many people are …”
“So, when were you going to tell me?”
Slate was not in a mood to talk with his sister, so of course, she showed up on his doorstep just as he was getting home from work. He was glad Garnet was out shopping - she was quite predictable.
“Tell you what?” Slate asked, unlocking the apartment door. “And no, ‘hello brother, how are you?’”
“Just … wanting to figure things out.” Jade answered, more civilly than Slate would expect. “It took me long enough to get the courage to ask you.”
The hulking Vulpine ushered his sister into the small apartment and closed the door. No use having a row in front of the neighbors - and he was worried that the civility that had reigned over his relationship with his sister the last few months was only temporary.
“It is my business and Garnet’s.” Slate answered, taking off his jacket. “Sister, you noted you can run your own life, and I believed you - and my faith, what little I could muster, was more than justified. Give me this.”
Jade squinted, as if seeing everything in an unexpected light. “I … yeah, I trust you. I just want to know. I mean … hell, you want to be a cop.”
“Gendarme.” Slate raised a finger. “And yes. I assume you’ve talked to Garnet. I’m going to do it. So, ask questions.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jade asked.
“It is my life and my choice. It’s neither a case of telling or not telling. We have our leeways in life. We give each other space. So I was private.”
The female vulpine nodded. “Yeah. OK. Fine.”
“The next question?” Slate asked, facing his sister. He oddly felt like it was supposed to be high noon.
“What?”
“You have another question,” Slate said simply, eliciting a few heartbeats of confusion from Jade, until she nodded. Slate chose the oddest moments to be intuitive.
“Why?”
“You know, I can tell.” Slate sighed. “I will tell you. To do more, to be part of it. Rake, HuanJen, all of our … I suppose family, for all the negative meaning that has for us, is involved. Garnet is even involved in my life. I am not. So, this is my home, I am getting married and getting a house. I will be part of it … and you’re smiling.”
Jade laughed. “Yes. I ‘m smiling. I’m …”
“You understand.” Slate’s answer was simple. His eyes glimmered strangely.
“Yes. A lot. Moreso now than ever.”
“And … you will not tell me why?” The question held its own answer.
“It may disturb you.”
“Then … I guess I shall trust you. It will be easier for us all around.”
October 18, 2000 AD, Xaian Standard Calendar
Dealer Zero was in his bathroom, being insulted.
Technically, he was combing his long, brown hair and quickly brushing his mustache because he had early morning visitors to his establishment. However, listening to his visitors, in the outer area of his apartment/shop, he was being insulted.
“HuanJen hated this guy, Jade.” That was Garnet, the short, red-furred one. Zero didn’t know her that well - she was part of HuanJen’s odd extended family.
“He’s changed, he just … well, look, he helped us with The Historian, he’s an OK guy. Trust me? You’re the one who mentioned …” Jade. Yes, Jade. Zero would have probably given his libido a chance to work up a mild crush on her except that, to be respectful, at times she scared the hell out of him, though in a good way.
Well, that and … she had fur. Just kind of off-putting to his tastes.
“Fine, fine …” Garnet surrendered. Zero took that as his cue to begin his business day.
He entered into the visitors room in what he hoped was a dramatic entrance; him all in dark clothes, long hair perfectly groomed, generally appearing mysterious and such. He got two gazes from the Vulpines sitting at the table he did his card readings; one emerald-bright, the other sapphire-gleaming, neither particularly impressed.
These people had lived with the man who had been a sort of nemesis, monitor, and advisor. Little would impress them. Either way, he had a job.
“All prepped up, now, what can I do for you ladies?” He was going to be civil if it killed him. He’d just gotten his reputation as a diviner, and he wasn’t going to backslide.
“Go on.” Jade nudged Garnet. Zero maintained his smile.
“I’m not sure,” Garnet demurred, “I …”
“Hey, I’m paying for it.”
“Yeah, but … I mean, look, I don’t always go for this.”
Jade shook her head. “You lived with HuanJen, come on, this is tame stuff …”
“Yes, but …”
Zero at that point decided that they were, yes, customers. But Jade was something of a friend and Garnet was at least an acquaintance. They could damn well make up their minds.
“Look you two, I’ve got someone coming in thirty minutes. Now, tarot reading and consultation or not? Because your future right now is me getting annoyed.”
“Slate’s joining the Gendarmes, and Garnet’s just worried about his future,” Jade said casually. Garnet gave her a glare that was anything but casual.
“Oh, really? Great, someone else to be on my ass,” Zero joked, “what’s the big deal? If he can get in …”
“He can,” Garnet answered, voice echoing with mirror-reflections of many emotions, “it’s practically done. I just … want to know.”
“Worried?” Zero sat.
“Yeah, of course she is,” Jade answered. “Hey’ she’s not used to the weirdness I am …”
“I can answer for myself, Jade,” Garnet answered coldly, though she was smiling. “Jade thinks this’ll make me feel better. Too much weirdness sometime. She knows.”
“Oh, um … yeah, Jade, she …” Zero asked awkwardly.
“She knows.” Jade put an arm around Garnet’s shoulder for a quick hug. “I have to go through some kind of initiation myself. It�
��s those things we do.”
“Yeah. You know, I can see Slate as Gendarme material,” Zero said thoughtfully. “Hey, he’ll be good. He’s a kind of homebody I figure, I think he’d like working beat and stuff.”
“Beat and some specialist work,” Garnet said wearily, “I’m not sure which I prefer. But … well people do what they are. That’s him.”
“Pretty mystical sounding, Jade, you’ve been such an influence.” Zero winked.
“Eh, I try. Hey, she needs our support. And you get fifty Guilders out of the deal.”
“Well, I was … yeah, fifty. Thanks.” Zero brought out the deck of cards from a pouch at his side. He always kept the cards close to him since the day he’d found them. It just felt appropriate.
Garnet looked at the cards as if they’d attack her. “You really aren’t bullshitting?”
“He’s not,” Jade interrupted Zero’s response, “Trust me, I saw him track the Historian and fuck himself up in the process.”
Garnet nodded. “I feel like I’m …”
“Cheating on Slate,” Zero said comfortingly, “Look, I get that a lot. You feel like you’re prying. Going behind his back.”
“Well, I am, in a way.”
The diviner found he couldn’t argue with that logic. “OK, you are. Look … are you doing it for him or you?”
“Me.” Garnet didn’t even pause. “I just want some stability, you know? After the last few months, you understand.”
“Yeah.” Zero looked at his cards.
There was fifty Guilders in this. Fifty Guilders was very nice money. Three or four readings like that a weekday kept him happy, meant he had his own shop, and set his own hours.
But …
“Nah.” Zero lovingly placed the cards back in their pouch. “You don’t want it.”
Garnet looked at Jade, who looked at Zero, then shrugged and looked away. Part of her brain that dealt with Dealer Zero had just shut down due to a lack of information.
“Look, you feel bad, you don’t want to do it. Know what? You’ll feel like shit if I pry. Yeah, my readings are general stuff, but you’ll feel like crap.”
The red-pelted woman thought, then nodded. “Might as well trust him. I have on everything else. This is just a way to try to …trust him without trusting him.”
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