They didn’t speak again. At least not with words. He caressed her skin as though it were the most fragile silk, and finally lowered his mouth to suckle her breast as his hands explored her body.
Lindsey bit her lip to keep from crying out, but couldn’t suppress the guttural sounds that escaped her throat. She had never imagined it could be like this, never imagined the powerful response her body could have to the touch of a callused male hand. His mouth kept moving over her, up to her throat, then to her ear, inciting pleasure wherever it roamed. She felt a shiver of desire when his teeth nipped her shoulder, and sought out his skin with her mouth to return the pleasure.
“Your skin is so soft,” he mused. “And your hair.” His hand tightened around a fistful of the silky stuff and pulled her head back to expose her throat for his kisses.
Lindsey was overwhelmed with feelings. She responded with the desperation she felt, tunneling her hands into Burr’s hair and grasping hold to keep his mouth where it was as her body arched beneath his. She relished his groan of delight as she brushed against his shaft.
His invasion came swiftly and without warning. She stiffened and cried out.
Burr froze. He didn’t pull away, merely lifted himself on his palms to stare into Lindsey’s face. He caught the remnants of pain in her eyes. And the growing exhilaration.
“You should have told me,” he said in a harsh voice.
“Would you have done this if I had?”
“Hell, no!”
“Then I’m glad I didn’t say anything.”
Burr let out his breath in a sigh. “I hurt you.”
“The pain is gone now.” She still felt stretched, and her body ached, but that was bearable. And she knew the worst was over. “Please don’t stop.”
Burr snorted. “I’m not about—”
She put her fingertips across his mouth to silence him and let her eyes plead for what she wanted. She raised herself enough to replace her fingertips with her mouth. Her tongue traced the crease of his lips and when he parted them, slid inside. She moaned with delight as Burr’s tongue forced hers back into her mouth and claimed the honey to be found there.
His hands cupped her shoulders and pressed her back down as his body began to move in tandem with hers. His thrusts were slow and easy at first, but as she began to answer him, his body plunged deeper, seeking pleasure, giving it, until they were slick from sweat, until their bodies begged for air, until each cried out as he spent his seed within her.
CONSEQUENCES.
It was the first thought that popped into Lindsey’s head as she lay atop Burr, still gasping for air, totally enervated. They hadn’t used any kind of protection. She knew better, and he must certainly be aware of the dangers of unprotected sex.
“Do you…? Have you…?”
“It’s a little late for that, Blue Eyes, don’t you think?” Burr said in a quiet voice. “But, no, I don’t have anything you can catch. And I don’t expect, under the circumstances, that I’m going to catch anything from you. That leaves pregnancy. Is this the right—or wrong—time of the month?”
Lindsey’s face was beet red. She kept her eyes lowered. “I just got over…It’s the wrong time of month for me to get pregnant,” she blurted.
He pulled her close to his chest and held her there. “Thank goodness for that, anyway.” He was quiet for a long time before he said, “Why me?”
“It’s not what you’re thinking.”
“What am I thinking?”
“That this is just a fling.”
“Isn’t it?”
Lindsey was silent for a moment. Is that what Burr had thought? That she just wanted to have sex with him for the fun of it? That she didn’t care for him as a person? But, honestly, what else could he think? They barely knew each other. They were strangers. The likelihood of them continuing any kind of relationship once she returned to the governor’s mansion was small indeed. So why had she allowed—be honest, Lindsey—encouraged this to happen?
“I don’t know what it is,” Lindsey admitted. “I think I wanted to see if I could make you want me. I didn’t realize until…until you caught me that I wanted to be caught. And then…” She shrugged. “I’m not sorry it happened, though. I have feelings for you that are…” Stronger than I’m willing to admit even to myself, let alone to you. She didn’t dare speak of love. It was an absurdity under the circumstances.
“No regrets?”
She shook her head. “It had to happen sometime, and—”
Burr rolled her off him and was on his feet an instant later. “And I was convenient,” he finished in a hard voice. “Don’t fool yourself into thinking I’m something I’m not. I’ll always be a man more used to walking alleys than streets. There’s no getting rid of my past, like there’s no getting rid of the tattoo on my arm. And if it’s all the same to you, Blue Eyes, I’ve had enough of being a convenience.”
Burr was aware of a tightness in his chest. It had dawned on him that he would give anything to have a woman like Lindsey for his own, to hold and to love. He couldn’t stand the thought of another man touching her, loving her. Only, he had no right to those feelings. Their situation wasn’t real; it was contrived. How could he even think about proposing to the governor’s daughter?
His hurt turned to anger when he realized the situation Lindsey had put him in. He was furious she hadn’t told him that he would be the first man to make love to her. He sure as hell hadn’t been thinking in terms of forever, as any woman who had saved her virginity as long as Lindsey had must have been. He knew, even if she didn’t, that the governor’s daughter wasn’t going to marry a former Houston gang member, a man with a snake tattoo on his arm and an earring in his ear, even if he was a Texas Ranger.
“You should have waited for the right man to come along, Blue Eyes, instead of wasting your innocence on me.”
She had hurt him, Lindsey realized, and he had snapped back with something equally hurtful. She sought some way to make amends. “I didn’t mean—”
“I know what I am, Miss Major, and what I’m not. The question is, do you?”
“Now wait just a minute, Burr Covington,” Lindsey said. “You can’t use that snake tattoo or your broken nose to scare me off! You aren’t so tough.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah!” She poked him in the chest with her forefinger. “There’s a fellow inside there somewhere who makes my heart beat fast, a guy who leaves me breathless. So there!”
Burr was tempted by her speech to take her back in his arms. But he already had his wet jeans on, which helped immensely to dampen his ardor and keep him from doing something that foolish. “Get dressed.”
“I won’t let you ignore me.” Lindsey reached out and stopped him from buttoning his jeans. “I wanted you to make love to me, Burr. You.”
Burr grabbed her wrists to keep her from touching him. His body was on fire, and he knew if he let her arguments sway him, he would be the one who got burned. If he let himself believe her, he would start thinking about a future together, and he knew better than that. “Get dressed,” he repeated. “I can’t leave you out here alone.”
He glared at her while she tugged on her cut-offs and pulled her soggy T-shirt over her head. The flimsy cotton did nothing to hide her lush body, and he felt his loins tighten at the sight of her nipples through the thin cloth. The minute she was dressed, he grabbed her wrist. “Let’s go.”
“How can I make you believe that I mean what I’m saying?” Lindsey said as he dragged her along beside him.
“I should have known better than to let myself lose control like that,” he muttered.
“I do care about you. I—”
He jerked her to a stop. “Don’t you dare use words like that when you don’t mean them! You have no idea what it means to care about anyone but yourself. You’re exactly what the papers call you—a pretty pair of blue eyes without any substance behind them!”
“How do you know what I feel?” she cried. “Why a
re you acting like an insensitive, uncaring brute?”
“So now I’m a brute? You’re the one who came after me, so what does that make you, lady? You asked for it, and I gave it to you!”
“Oh, you…you…” Lindsey was so furious and hurt, nearly blinded by the tears she was furiously blinking back, that she couldn’t find an epithet bad enough to use on him.
“Who are you to be judging me,” Burr demanded with a sneer, “when you don’t have a life of your own? You’re a substitute wife for your father, a substitute mother for your siblings. You wouldn’t know how to be yourself, because there’s nothing more to Lindsey Major than a pair of pretty blue eyes.”
Lindsey was appalled at how close Burr had come to describing her life and enraged that he had rejected her because of it. “And you’ll never outgrow your roots,” she taunted back. “You’ll always be a street hood at heart.”
They stood glaring at each other. Each wanting desperately to be the kind of person the other wanted and sure they fell far short of the other’s expectations.
Burr wondered what would have happened if they had met under different circumstances, when labels could have been dispensed with, when they could just have been a man and a woman meeting for the first time without the concealing masks they had both worn for so many years.
“Hey, you two, what’s the problem?”
Lindsey and Burr turned to stare openmouthed at the man dressed in a ranger uniform who stood on the porch of the cabin.
Burr cleared his throat. “Captain Rogers? What are you doing here?”
“Hector fooled us. He didn’t get on that plane to South America, after all. One of our informants saw him and tipped us off. We picked him up a couple of hours ago. You can go home now, Miss Major.”
Lindsey turned stricken eyes toward Burr. “I can go home.”
“Yes, ma’am,” the captain continued, oblivious to the powerful undercurrents between Burr and Lindsey. “Your father’s waiting for you at the mansion. I’ll give you a lift there.”
“I’ll give her a ride,” Burr said. Unspoken was the knowledge that they would finish their conversation on the way. Only, what was there left to say?
Lindsey shoved a fist against her mouth to keep a sob from escaping and raced into the cabin.
“What the hell did you do to that woman?” Captain Rogers asked.
Loved her. Burr thought. I just loved her.
Chapter 6
IN THE FACE OF THE ACCUSATIONS each had made against the other, both Lindsey and Burr remained silent during the first part of the drive back to Austin.
It’s over too soon, Lindsey thought.
I never had an even chance with her, Burr thought.
I’m not what he thinks I am.
There’s more to me than she knows.
Maybe I need to look more closely at who I am, Lindsey thought.
Maybe I ought to look at myself and see what’s really there, Burr thought.
“I never realized before how thoroughly I took my mother’s place after she died,” Lindsey murmured, her voice barely audible. “At first, after my mother’s death, my father was so desolate he couldn’t function. I saw a void, and I filled it. I suppose I should have stepped back sooner, but the role was comfortable for me. I felt needed. I was needed. Now…I don’t know. Carl and Stella are old enough to resent it when I try to parent them. And my father…I think he wouldn’t have the heart to tell me he didn’t need my help anymore.”
“But you think he could survive now without you?”
Lindsey made a face. “He hired a new secretary last year. She’s quite good at what she does.”
“I see.”
Lindsey was afraid Burr saw too much. “At least I’m willing to admit I need to make a change. What about you? How well do your stepfather’s shoes fit, Burr?”
Burr kept his eyes on the road, refusing to meet her gaze. “You don’t pull any punches, do you, Blue Eyes?” And of course she was right. It was time he figured out whether he was in this line of work for his stepfather’s sake…or his own.
Burr had spent so many years giving mental lip service to the idea he was a cop to repay his stepfather, that he hadn’t thought about how much he enjoyed his work. He liked being a Texas Ranger; he was good at it. And it was a satisfying job, giving him the independence his soul craved along with the opportunity to serve a noble purpose.
But was the role of Texas Ranger sufficient for the husband of a woman like Lindsey Major? He would never be rich, and his first devotion was to duty. Although he would cherish Lindsey if she were his, there would necessarily be times when his job would take him away from her. It might even kill him. He didn’t want to think about how she would feel if that happened.
Lindsey snuck a peek at Burr and wondered what traits he wanted in a wife. She was beautiful, but what else did she have to offer a husband? She had a great deal of experience as an organizer and a hostess, but somehow she didn’t think the wife of a Texas Ranger needed those skills. She was frightened of the danger he lived with day in and day out. Her heart caught in her throat when she admitted the perilous danger of his chosen profession.
Life with a man like Burr would never be easy. But she understood now why her mother had endured the trials and tribulations of life as a politician’s wife. Loving, caring, left no choices.
Lindsey stared straight ahead as the interstate flew by, unwilling to speak again because she was afraid all the things she was feeling would pour out of her mouth. Her relationship—if you could call it that—with Burr was over before it had started. She was going back to her world. He was going back to his. Their paths wouldn’t cross again, not without some effort on one or both of their parts. She was leaving it up to him to make the first move. That might be old-fashioned, but she wasn’t willing to lay her heart on the line without some indication from him that he was willing to do the same.
The governor’s mansion was in sight before she finally asked the question that was foremost in her mind. “Will I ever see you again?”
“What would be the point?”
Lindsey looked down at her hands, which were knotted in her lap. “I thought we started something by the river.”
“If there are consequences, by all means call me.” Lindsey shot an angry look at Burr. “You know that wasn’t what I meant. And I wouldn’t call you now even if I were expecting triplets!”
“It wouldn’t work,” Burr said in a quiet voice. He glanced at her for an instant, then focused on the road in front of him. “You and me, I mean. I think in our case appearances aren’t at all deceiving. You’re a princess living in an ivory tower, and I’m—”
“Prince Charming. Or you could be.”
Burr shook his head and laughed. “Whoever heard of Prince Charming with a snake tattooed on his arm? Can you imagine what your father would say if he saw the two of us together?”
“He wouldn’t care.”
Burr raised a skeptical brow, and Lindsey conceded, “At least, not after he got to know you.”
“Both of us know appearances count, Blue Eyes. Think of the heyday the press would have if the two of us showed up in public together.”
“What’s printed in newspapers doesn’t have to affect us.”
“What about your friends? What will they say?”
“If they can’t—or won’t—accept you as you are, they won’t be my friends for long.”
Burr sighed. “It won’t work, Blue Eyes. We’re too different.”
“We both want the same thing,” Lindsey argued. “Someone to love…someone who’ll love us back. We could have that together, Burr. Nothing else matters.”
“Now I know you’ve been living in an ivory tower. We wouldn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of surviving the rebuke that would be leveled against us from all directions. Me for stepping out of my place, and you for stooping down from yours. Think of the headlines—Bluest Eyes In Texas To Wed Former Gang Thug, or Texas Ranger Nabs Bluest Eyes In Te
xas.”
“If you don’t want me, just say so.”
“Wanting you has nothing to do with it! I want you like hell. I’m just trying to be realistic about the situation.”
“If your mind’s made up, I don’t suppose I can change it,” Lindsey said. “But I’m stating here and now for the record that I think you’re wrong. If you decide you want me bad enough to fight for me, you know where to find me.”
She was out of the car and running inside the mansion before he had a chance to stop her. Not that he would have known what to say to her if he had. She was wrong. There was no way they could have a life together. He wasn’t Prince Charming. He was an ordinary man with a slightly crooked nose and a snake tattoo and a few scars he had earned along the way. When the governor’s blue-eyed daughter had recovered from the trauma of being kidnapped, of being held captive by a Ranger against her will, of being made love to for the first time, she would be glad he had bowed gracefully out of her life.
Lindsey threw herself into her father’s embrace and sobbed with relief as his arms tightened securely around her.
“Are you all right, Lindsey?” he asked. “Are you hurt?”
“I’m fine, Dad,” she managed between gulps as she fought back her tears. “It’s just…it was awful! There was so much blood and those two men dead, and Burr…Oh, Dad!”
“I know sweetheart. I know. You’ll be fine now. Nothing bad is ever going to happen to you again. I’ll see to that.” Lindsey heard the remorse in her father’s voice that she had been forced to suffer through the kidnapping and his determination to protect her from harm in the future. She could feel the walls closing in on her. It was a gilded cage her father wanted her to inhabit, but it was still a cage. If the governor got his way, she would never see Burr again, that was for sure. A brilliant idea popped into Lindsey’s head, and she acted on it.
Texas Brides: The Rancher and the Runaway Bride & The Bluest Eyes in Texas Page 19
