by Su Williams
“Oh god, Emi. I never meant…I swore to Zecharias I would protect you—I would keep any harm from coming to you. I never…” Now, my hand was pressed to his chest and his heart thundered against my fingertips.
“When…” the word eked, hoarse and breathless from my lips. I cleared my throat. “When did you meet my father?”
“Both of our names were drawn for the draft back in 1971.” He spoke immediately, as though any delay would be seen as deception. “We did basic together. Shipped out together. We were scouts once they got us in-country. It was our job, our unit’s job, to protect the hospital in PhuBai.” Nick’s eyes glossed over as his vision receded into the past. Anticipation and fear roared through me. “Zecharias—your dad and I led our platoon on daily excursions around the perimeter of the hospital to make sure the Cong weren’t getting too close—and to dispatch them if they did. You kind of get bonded to the guys you serve with, and your dad was no exception. All the guys loved him. Would’ve done anything for him—even died for him. He was just that sort of guy.”
I bristled at his familiarity. “Don’t presume to tell me what kind of man my father was.”
Nick nodded, but his mind was still in Nam. Not even the thought of ‘as you wish’ played on his lips. “May I show you the night your father discovered what I am?”
I returned his nod.
Nick’s thoughts turned black as night, and it wasn’t until I heard the sonorous rumble of snoring that I realized it was night. The dark smelled of sweaty men and gun powder and sewage pits. A resounding thud shattered the quiet darkness and snores were replaced by grunts of alarm.
“Benedetti. Hit the generator. Give us some light!”
Another crash vibrated the metal roof overhead. Men in their skivvies, locked and loaded M16’s and scrambled to the windows.
“Probably just the goddamn rock apes again,” grumbled the commander.
“Nam has some crazy apes,” Nick’s voice broke into the scene. “They’d come to the base at night and lob rocks at the buildings. Scared the hell out of us. We shot at them most of the time, just because we were never sure if it was them or the Cong. And if it was the Cong, we’d never know in the light of day because they both carried off their dead.”
“Hmph.” It was all I could muster. The scene continued.
“Anybody see movement?” hollered the commander.
“No, sir,” came from every corner of the room.
“PFC Sweet, take three men and survey the compound.”
“Sir, yes, sir.” My heart clenched at the sight of my dad, so young, so brave. “Wilkins. Rovnikov. Benedetti. Let’s go.”
But before the men could don their khakis and gather themselves to leave, another ‘rock’ hit the side of the Quonset hut and rolled down the side with a familiar metal on metal rumble. Dad barely got the word ‘grenade!’ out before the wall buckled inward from the blast.
Nick filtered none of the sensations. I got the full brunt of the explosion’s roar, the blinding flash, the heat that seared his skin, the metal fragments that ripped through his chest as he placed himself between Dad and the blast. I gasped for air at the same moment as his image, and clutched at my own chest. My father’s arms were around him before he hit the floor and lowered him gently down.
“Nick. Why?” My father shook him, his face twisted in anguish.
“Better me than you, man,” Nick groaned out.
“Report!” barked their commander.
“All’s well, sir,” echoed around the smoke-filled hut.
“Nick’s down, sir,” Dad shouted.
“Sweet! Stay with him. Wilkins! Find a medic. Everybody else, you’re with me. Let’s hunt these bastards!”
Smoke followed the platoon outside like a shadow, clearing the view of Nick cradled in Dad’s arms. Dad’s hand covered the sucking wound in Nick’s chest, and Nick grew pale and grey.
“Hang in there, Nick. Medic’s coming.”
Nick shook his head. “No. Not gonna make it, bud.”
“No. No.” Devout affection welled in Dad’s chest. This fellow officer, this man, had placed his own body in harm’s way—for him. “You hang on. You’re not dying on me.”
“There’s only—one way—for me…” Blood bubbled from Nick’s chest, thick and crimson. “You have to—keep my secret…”
“What? What secret?”
“I’ll tell you—everything—when I get back. But—you must swear…” Nick’s eyes plead with my father for his oath. “Swear, or I’ll die.”
“I swear. I swear.”
Nick’s body went limp and a sob lurched in Dad’s chest. Through pinched, panicked eyes, he saw the first sparkles as Nick began to phase. He rubbed at his eyes with the heels of his hands to clear his vision, and rattled his head in disbelief. Then, Nick phased completely out of sight. Dad threw his arms wide and scanned the floor around him for his comrade. Incoherent curses spilled from his lips. His chest convulsed for gasps of breath as though there was not enough air in the world to sustain him. A glimmer pooled a few feet before him and he scuttled away as Nick phased back in.
“What the hell!” Dad stared in disbelief. What the hell had just happened?
“Please…” Nick reached a bloodied hand to him. “I’m not all the way healed. Just…please, don’t tell anyone what you saw.”
“No one would believe me. They’d Section 8 me. How did you do that? What are you?”
“I’ll tell you, I swear. But I need to…”
The barracks door slammed open and the commander stormed in. “Perimeter’s clear. How’s…Benedetti?”
“Not as bad as I originally thought, sir,” Dad stammered through ashen lips.
“Sweet? You hit? You don’t look so good.”
“Sir?” Dad’s gaze dashed between his commander and Nick, who pleaded with my father with his eyes. “No, sir. I’m fine. Just a little shook up.”
“Fine. Get Nick to the medic and report back to me pronto.”
I opened my eyes to find Nick staring at the floor. Gratitude seeped into my heart, but my anger squelched it. But he saved Daddy’s life, I argued, and my anger silenced.
“Out on patrols, every time we had a moment alone, I began to reveal my secrets to your father,” he whispered.
“Why didn’t you just erase the memories?”
“I don’t know…there was just—something about him that made me want him to know. It wasn’t until we got back stateside and I introduced him to Sabre that we realized he may be Caphar. You know Sabre. He had to conduct experiments and soon discovered that both Zecharias and Adrian carried the gene. At the time, we had no idea that death was the catalyst that unleashes the anomaly.”
Silence stretched, heavy and grating between us. “Thank you,” I finally mumbled.
Nick glanced up, his brows crunched together in question.
“For saving my dad’s life.” If the shrapnel from that grenade had hit my father instead of Nick, my father would be dead. Or, he’d be fully Caphar. The timing was about right.
“Zecharias was my friend. He saved me in ways I can’t even explain, even before the grenade attack.” Nick scrabbled in his jacket pocket and drew out an envelope. It jittered in his hand as he stretched it toward me. The paper was yellowed and gritty with dust. And on the front, in Dad’s blocky writing it said: To my Jewel, my Emari.
I retreated to corner of the bedroom to read.
My Dearest Emari,
If this letter is in your hands something must have happened to me and your mother. I am truly sorry if that is the case. I love you, my darling. Please forgive me for keeping such huge secrets from you. Your mom and I were waiting to see if you manifested as a Dream Weaver…I’m sure my friend Nick has filled you in by now. The enemy is not interested in non-exhibiting Caphar, but for some reason, they took interest me. And then in you. We had to keep you safe from a very dangerous world. I want you to understand, I trust Nickolas and Sabre with my life…and more, I trust them wit
h yours. Nick has pledged to keep you safe whether or not you manifest as Caphar. He is not a man to make a careless vow, so I know you will be in good hands. There is so much to say, and so much you must learn.
All I can leave you are memories and you must always hold tight to them, hold them in your heart, cherish them for the precious moments they are…
I love you just doesn’t seem enough to say. From the moment I saw your sparkling green eyes, I knew that all that I am, all that have were yours. The flutter of your heartbeat even before birth enraptured me. I knew I would be anything, do anything just because of the gift of your life in mine.
I love you, my darling beautiful girl.
Daddy
I crushed the letter to my chest. My Daddy. Nick phased in beside me and wrapped me in his arms. The joy and the grief tempered the anger and I melted against him. He sighed in relief like I’d finally come home.
Chapter 7 Can’t Remember to Forget You
I sat propped up on pillows in a chair by the French doors to the patio. Daylight flooded through and cast a checkered pattern across the floor.
“So—why is death a big deal to a Caphar? We can just regenerate, right?” I asked.
Nick’s eyes darkened and his brow tensed as he watched me from the rocking chair. His index fingers steepled, and tapped his lower lip like I’d seen Sabre do a hundred times. “Every death we die takes another piece of our soul.”
“Seriously?”
“I don’t know how else to explain it. The more often we ‘die’, the less—human we become. I guess.”
“But if you’d just let me die…”
He winced, turned his face away and closed his eyes.
“If you had,” I pressed, “I’d just have come back, right?”
The memories of my plunge from the suspension bridge Downtown lanced through my mind. My heart relived the crush of his, the flood of anguish compressed his mind until it ached. Mine ached vicariously.
I dropped my head into my hands and rubbed my temples.
“I just—I couldn’t do it again, Em. I couldn’t watch you die again.” The words leaked from his constricted throat. “You don’t understand what it does to me.”
So this had more to do with Nick not being able to watch me die than it had to do with saving my soul.
“Emari? Could we…” Nick choked on whatever words he was trying to force out. I gazed at him through sore, swollen eyes. “Could we just—I don’t know—start over? Like with all the cards on the table?”
“I don’t know, Nick.” Everything inside me screamed YES! Everything inside me, except that one dark something that wasn’t quite ready to let go of the anger.
“Will you think about it?” he pressed.
“I guess.”
Nick kneeled down beside my chair, clutching my hand in his like man about to propose. “I love you Emari. I think I’ve known from the moment I stepped into your nightmares. And I—believe you still love me—even within all your rage at me.” I couldn’t deny it. It was right there spurring my heart into a run. “Maybe…”
“Maybe—when all of this over—when Thomas is dead…” Yes, for sure, Thomas must die. If not for anything else, for the deaths of my parents. “Maybe once life returns to something that vaguely resembles normal. Maybe then.” Normal was a life without the Rephaim, without supernatural powers going haywire around me. Normal was a day spent on the couch with my pup and my girl and wearing my zombie sheep jammies all day. But this?
Nick nodded, satisfied with the answer, as I puzzled over my current state of dress. Someone had put me in soft, warm, grinning skull pajamas. Rather optimistic of them.
“Um…how did my clothes get changed?” I asked perplexed. Nick’s face flushed and he stammered for a moment. “You?”
He raised his hands in surrender. “No. No. The girl—uh—Emma. Your clothes were soaked and bloody. We had to get them off you. But Emma was the one who…” I scowled at him, trying to decipher if that was the truth. “Um, I think Adrian has a question or twenty for us.” I grunted at him. “Are you ready? Did you need to phase once more?”
“No. I’ll never be ready. And yes, another Caphar moment is definitely in order.”
“Shall I go with you?”
“Nah. It’s all good.”
I phased from the room and almost immediately phased back in. Nick wrapped an arm around my waist and guided me into the living room where Adrian, Emma and Sabre sat in cold silence. I waved away their attempts to help. It was only due to necessity that I allowed Nick’s assistance.
Before we could deal the cards in this game of Who’s Who, a flash of white and black outside in the driveway caught my attention. Shit! The cops had no doubt found the wrecked T-bird by now. To my surprise, a familiar face exited the police cruiser. Officer Molly. The female cop who had befriended me after the rape. How was I going to explain all of this to her? Nick, Sabre and I shared our thoughts then conveyed them to Adrian and Emma. Despite expecting it, the thunder of Molly’s knock rattled my nerves. Sabre opened the door.
“Yes,” he droned, almost malevolent.
“Uh. Is Emari Sweet here?”
“She is.” Sabre waved her in.
I tried to get up but Nick pressed me back onto the couch with a subtle shake of his head. Adrian rose to meet Molly with an extended hand.
“Officer,” he said feigning calm. “I’m Dr. Adrian Rovnikov.” I noticed he emphasized ‘Dr.’
“I’m Officer Elliot of the Spokane Police Department. I need to speak with Miss Sweet.” Wow, she was being all formal and everything.
“I’m here.” My voice was still hoarse and weak.
Molly turned her attention on me. “The State Patrol found a vehicle that was registered in your name.” Emari, what happened?! Poor Molly wanted so badly to drop the professional persona and find out what happened, but she struck her usual cop pose and remained stern. Though her eyes darted around the room to each of us. “You just purchased the vehicle yesterday?”
“Yeah. Guess it was a little too much car for me.” I gritted my teeth and entertained the thought of haunting that salesman’s dreams for being such a sexist perv.
Molly cringed. “We thought perhaps the car had been stolen.” She took out her pen and notepad and flipped it open. “A motorist spotted the skid marks and reported it early this morning. We got crews down there expecting to find a body—or at least an injury, but the car was empty.”
“Emari called us to come get her,” Nick offered.
One of Molly’s eyebrows inched up her forehead. “How did you just walk away from a crash like that?”
“Lucky I guess,” I feigned innocence.
“The Troopers said there was blood everywhere,” she countered.
“Just a bump on the head. You know how head wounds bleed,” I said. And a shudder raced through me as the memory of my conversation with the medic after the assault sliced through my mind.
“Have you been to the hospital? None of them had any record of you.”
“Aw, that’s where I came in,” said Adrian. “I have equipment in my office. I did x-rays and a thorough exam to be sure she was all right.” Dang, Adrian was good at this spur of the moment cover story stuff. Maybe a little too good.
“Why wasn’t the accident reported?” Molly countered.
“We were just discussing that when you arrived,” I told her.
“Well, the vehicle’s been towed and the county will most likely assess a fine for leaving the scene and towing charges. The car was totaled. I hope you had insurance.”
I cringed. “Yeah no. I hadn’t quite gotten to that part yet.”
Molly scowled and I knew she was contemplating adding a ticket for being uninsured to the list of my fines. Her shoulders rose and fell with a sigh of resignation. “The State Patrol will need you to come in and do some paperwork,” she finally said.
“Sure. Whatever you need…but you’re a city cop. Isn’t this the jurisdiction of the State
Patrol?”
“It is. But—I already had a reason to come out here and we work cooperatively with the Troopers.”
“Oh? What did you need to see me about?” Writhing snakes squirmed in my stomach. I knew why she was here. The trial for Rico DeLaRosa, the man who attacked me, was coming up soon. They’d need me to testify against him.
“Um…” Officer Molly’s eyes darted around the room and finally rested on Emma as if she was noticing her for the first time. “Perhaps we could speak in private?”
I glanced around the room and a familiar heat flushed through my veins. Anger. “That won’t be necessary. We don’t keep any secrets from each other here.” All but Sabre lowered their eyes. I gave a quiet snort of laughter, and Molly nodded at Emma.
“Oh, I can take a hint,” retorted Emma. “This is grown up stuff.” She flounced away and swiped Eddy from Sabre, who’d been sitting in a dark corner of the dining room running the pup’s long ears over his fingers. She stomped across the porch and down the steps to the yard.
“We believe,” began Molly once Emma was outside, “that Mr. DeLaRosa has other victims out there somewhere. Some that may be too frightened or embarrassed to identify themselves. We’d like to find them—to build the case against him, and to get them some help.”
Nick angled himself between me and the cop. “What is it you want from Emari?”
“Um, well, Chief Houser was wondering if you’d be willing to do a sort of public address. An appeal for others to report what’s happened to them.”
“No.” Nick’s vehemence startled me. “No way. You can’t ask her to go public with the worst day of her life.” Well, that was debatable. I placed a hand on his arm. Calm down. It’s okay.
Adrian stepped in. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Officer, given what Emari’s been through.”
“I understand,” she said. I noticed, with a touch of morose glee, that she didn’t ask him to call her Molly. Not feeling very friendly towards him, Molly? Yeah, me neither.
