by Stella Sky
“And you’re sad?” I asked.
“Well,” she scoffed humorously. “My people were almost eviscerated, and I live in an old abandoned trailer park. What do you think?”
I shrugged, played, “You seem well-adjusted, considering.”
“Can I get that on my tombstone?” She grinned. “That’s called ‘using humor as a defense mechanism.’”
I waved her off. “I guess I’ve just been… feeling regret. That’s the downside of this new ‘coming to life’ sensation you’ve given me.”
“You’re welcome,” she winked. “Tessoul, come back with me.”
“And bring the girls back?” I asked. “Karen and Tiffany?”
I couldn’t see that go over well with their new mates. No matter how much I wanted to give Sidney the world, or give it back, I couldn’t be sure the others would feel the same way about their females.
“No,” she said. “Just you and me.”
And then, as if some other force came over me, I agreed.
She promised me we wouldn’t be gone long, a week at most, and I knew whatever she asked of me, I would do. Their trailer park was covered in lights and small: sadder than I expected.
I walked through their camp, small and snow-filled paths lining the spaces in between the campers. This place had a sadness to it that made me miss the yellow neighborhood with the red doors. There was so much life there.
That place used to be my favorite place to enjoy Earth. To get up on a roof and imagine what we could do with it.
Now I found myself constantly thinking what it would be like to live in one of those houses with Sidney. To come home to our red door and have her look at me the way I looked at her. With reverence; love; passion.
I felt like I could do anything she asked so long as it made her happy. I wanted to right all the wrongs we did to the humans.
Yet, here I was, walking through their camp like a giant and being stared at like a war machine. The humans seemed to cower and fall back as I walked by.
“People are going to start talking pretty quick,” she said, pulling a hat tightly against the red waterfall of her hair.
I leaned down and kissed her, and she pressed her lips back, but only for a moment. There was a nervous energy about her suddenly.
She set her backpack in my arms, and we talked for a few minutes more before she announced that she had to go talk to her commodore, Baxley, before everyone started a panic. This way, she explained, he could calm everybody down.
I nodded in her direction and told her to do whatever she needed to do. I watched her flit from trailer to trailer; I watched her talk to Lele for quite some time before I decided I should take my leave of them. Have a wander.
I held Sidney’s backpack and Ed in my arms, as she didn’t want Baxley to catch sight of him just yet. Perhaps she thought bringing one alien back was enough for the night.
The neighbors of their little township looked at me like I was something to be shot at; they eyed their turrets and wondered why they weren’t firing at me.
But then there were others: girls who fluttered the curtains of their trailers and quickly made their way outside to look at me with wonder.
To see one tamed.
“Hello,” I said awkwardly as a skinny blonde approached me, bundled up in layers and layers of fabric.
“Hi,” she said equally as unsure as she waved with two fingers. “Did you come back with Sid?”
“Sid?” I asked and then realized she meant Sidney. Feeling like an idiot, I laughed and nodded. “Oh, yeah. Yes. I did.”
“So… you’re like…” she blanched, shy and squeaky-voiced.
“I’m not about to hurt anyone,” I said and hoped it didn’t sound like some kind of backward threat.
As if on cue, the robot, Lele, walked up to us. I could swear I heard her buzz and hum as she came up next to us. She looked pointedly between us, her brown hair braided back and her features looking absolutely poised.
“Back to your trailer, Evelyn,” Lele instructed, and the blonde girl giggled and scampered back to her trailer with some sort of renewed hope.
I wondered then just how much of a plan it was for them to run into me in the first place.
Lele continued to shoo off the curious girls, whether they were friendly and especially if they were not.
We continued walking through the streets in between the snowbanks together, and I looked her over now and then, admiring her beauty and wondering exactly how robotic she actually was. There was something inherently human about her. Not just the way she looked, but how she looked at me.
“I feel a great sadness in you,” Lele said after several minutes of silence. We both walked with our heads down until she said that.
“Really?” I asked with mild surprise.
“No. I am not programmed to feel or sense such things, but, Sidney told me you’ve been feeling guilty about what happened here,” she said evenly. “And by here, I mean Earth.”
I nodded. “Ah.”
“A piece of advice?” she offered, and I shrugged my acceptance. She continued, “You can’t blame yourself for something you did when you were not born. You, Tessoul, did not exist yet.” She pointed to her head. “Not here. Not yet. Feel blessed that you had the opportunity to be born. I do not have that chance.”
I blew my lips out at the heaviness of her comment and asked, “Does it make you sad?”
“No,” she said quickly. “But sometimes I wish it did. I wish I could feel what you feel. That my satisfaction could come from more than just helping out.”
“You’re an older model,” I said, reaching back into the recesses of my mind and pulling out the very little I knew about the machines. “I’ve heard the newer ones are able to take on human behavior; some don’t even know they are machines.”
“I see,” she said slowly. “For now then, I shall live on instinct.” Then she corrected, “Programming.”
“You seem to be loved, well enough.”
She nodded. “So do you.”
I looked at her and wished she was right, but I could feel Sidney pulling away already. Or maybe she was never as close as I thought to begin with.
“Sidney,” she said, as though I couldn’t piece together what she meant. I nodded with a laugh, and she continued, “She had other arrangements before you came here. Now it seems you’ve won her heart.”
“Other arrangements?” I tensed. “What does that mean?”
Lele paused then, her large eyes circling unsurely. “With the commodore?”
“Ah,” I said, furious. “Not a fan of that.”
“It will come around,” Lele said with no change in facial expression.
“What does that mean?”
“It means sit tight,” she said.
“She should be talking to me about this,” I said. “I shouldn’t be hearing this from you. No offense. I love her, but I can’t… break that wall. Sometimes she looks at me like I am everything she ever wanted. Other times she watches me like she’s waiting for me to attack: to revert. I feel like I can never undo what’s been done.”
Lele set a gloved hand on my arm and looked up at me, our height difference suddenly seeming massive.
“I am sorry,” she said.
My eyes went wide, and I scoffed. “I guess I will continue to ‘sit tight.’”
Lele gave me a weak smile. An effort that I appreciated. Then I continued with a sigh, “So, she really got along with the commodore, huh?”
“I am unsure of the nature of their relationship,” she said in the most robotic tone I had ever heard from her. “Save for a kiss I once witnessed.”
My stomach turned again, and I looked down at Ed, who was looking up at me expressing equal disgust. I turned my head to the side as though Baxley might be beside me for me to hate in person, but he wasn’t. I thought of what I’d seen of him and kept wondering how old he was to be with someone like Sidney.
“She’s a lot younger than him,” I observed,
trying not to sound too angry.
“Yes,” she said.
I swallowed. “Things still going on?”
“I am unsure. She seems attached to you, since your union by the mountain.”
“Or she’s a great actress,” I seethed.
Lele blinked and stepped up onto the porch of one of the trailers and opened the door for me. We stepped inside and turned on the generator; pumping the heat into the room and happy to feel it blowing against my spire.
“I know the captain would like to speak with you about the war crisis,” Lele offered. “Perhaps you can ask him about the status of him and Sidney then?”
I laughed and pinched the bridge of my nose. “Thanks, Lele.”
Definitely not going to happen.
Chapter Nine
Sidney
I scanned the room like a nervous puppy at its first veterinary appointment. The room was cold, with no pictures on the walls and thickly carpeted floors. It felt so strange to have Tessoul in my space, but it was a feeling I was becoming quickly accustomed to. It felt so domestic to bring him in, to see his immense form standing by my light green kitchenette and the old pots and pans I'd scavenged from a supermart some years ago.
Ed had stayed with us as well, making me absolutely glow with motherly adoration. I had grown to love the little creature in a way I hadn’t with anything else before. It was the only thing I’d ever had to take care of, to play with, and it felt like home when he was around.
Same, I supposed, could be said for Tessoul.
To see his ripped body on my bed felt unreal; it turned me on, sending shivers down my center and causing a heat between my legs.
We'd spent out weeks together less focused on our mission, irresponsible, and more focused on one another's bodies and all the different ways we could please one another. I was addicted to him, feeling more and more attached than I ever thought was possible.
"How are you finding my crew?" I teased and sat on his lap, straddling him and kissing his neck, sliding my hand along the limp spire that lay under his cowl and draped down his back. I was ravenous for him.
I couldn't get enough of him, and it scared me in the best way possible. He was less and less associated in my mind with monsters and more the man I wanted to be with. The more I thought about it, the more it really seemed like this could work.
It seemed he wasn't ready to give back the same lusty, animal passion I was when he responded, "Oh, just fine. Your camp looks at me like I'm some murderous creature and there's snow everywhere so... Yeah, great time."
"Hey, relax," I cooed, brushing his face with my hand and licking his lips, hoping to get his interest. "They don't exactly have the best experience, but we'll get there."
He cocked a brow, and it seemed to smooth his face somehow. "Is that so?” he dared.
"Look," I breathed, "Our commo—"
"I saw you in Baxley's trailer," he said, grabbing me by my arms and pushing me away so he could get a better look at me.
I shrugged. "So?"
"What's that about?” he thinned his lips, and suddenly I could tell we were in a fight.
I tried my best to laugh it off, flirtatious and light. "Well, he's my commodore and he wants to know I'm alright. I survived a..." I trailed off then, trying to choose the best phrasing possible. "I've been missing," I finally landed on. "He keeps a close eye on his team; that's all."
"That's all?” he repeated, unbelieving.
"Uh-huh."
"You know what's funny?" came his terse reply. "You didn't touch me at all yesterday."
"I'm doubling over with laughter," I scoffed.
"Hilarious," he said with an equal amount of annoyance.
“Fine! Well, it’s going to make some people uncomfortable, okay? As far as most of the people here are concerned, you’re… you’re dangerous! You stole our crew, killed our people, and took our land. Not everyone is as excited to have you here.”
He looked at me then and perked a brow with a calculated irritation: offense. “And here I thought you’d offered me forgiveness,” he said quickly, pushing me off of him and standing.
“Just stop it,” I said with a sigh.
“You stop it,” he repeated petulantly. “It seems there’s been a lot of lies slung around for my benefit, Sidney. Or should I call you Sid?”
“Jealousy looks terrible on you,” I laughed evilly. “Just saying.”
“I’m jealous?” he scoffed.
“Is that a statement or a fact? Because the answer is pretty obvious.”
He blinked and paced around my trailer with crossed arms; fingering over knickknacks and countertops. “I’m not jealous. Of what? Baxley? Is there something to be jealous of?”
He stopped then and focused his attention outside my window, watching the militia gather their supply of guns together at a far trailer.
“All I want is to be with you, and I’m not getting that same idea from you,” he said slowly, still not looking at me.
“It’s just temporary, until we get settled, okay?”
He turned his profile to me and began in a husky tone, “I find you inexplicably desirable.”
I chuckled. “Big word.”
“You are… wild and fierce. I knew it the minute you rallied me to fight you by the mountain. You are endlessly brave.”
“Okay,” I said slowly. “First you’re pissed, and now you’re complimenting me? So, what? I mean, you’re obviously mad about something so why don’t you just come out and say it instead of playing games with me?”
“I feel uneasy,” he said, toneless, as though he wasn’t sure how to say the words. “A pulling.”
“Because you don’t trust me,” I said flatly.
“Something else,” he said, growing lost. “Something so familiar.”
I scoffed and repeated, “Because you don’t trust me.”
“No!” he yelled, a hollow roar coming throat his tone that sent a sick pang of white fire through my heart. “Not everyone is like you, Sidney! Not everyone is waiting to be double-crossed.”
I felt a pang of guilt bubble up in my stomach then. Not only was he right to be suspicious about my past with Baxley, but we were waiting to double-cross him. And he had followed me right into the arms of the beast.
I swallowed hard and walked over to him, quiet steps sounding like raindrops against the carpet. I put my hand over his and whispered, “I’m listening.”
“Something’s happening,” he said with such an urgency that it made me want to throw up.
“To you?” I asked, desperate.
“No. But I feel something… a calling.”
“To me?” I asked, now feeling stupid.
“No! I mean,” he traced his fingers across my face; kissed me. “Of course, but… it’s something deeper.”
I looked over his features and reached back in for a kiss, pressing my body against his, and felt displaced just knowing that he was hurting on some level. I wondered what the hormone did to him: what being ‘reborn’ must have felt like. The guilt that came with that.
Before I had a chance to respond, our kiss snapped apart like shrapnel as Baxley burst through my door, walking in with such familiarity I wondered if Tessoul would start a fight right in front of him.
“We gotta talk,” Baxley snapped, looking at Tessoul before slamming the door shut behind him.
My eye darted up across the room and immediately made my way to the door, following after Baxley with my hand firmly locked in Tessoul's. He stayed at the kitchen counter and pulled me back toward him.
I yanked him forward and offered him another kiss for comfort before we stepped out into the cold.
We sat in a semi-circle around a raging fire that was lit in an oversized tin barrel in the center of our camp. Tessoul was quick to warm his hands by the flames, and I couldn’t say I blamed him. It was freezing, and the Vithohn weren’t used to our temperatures.
“Baxley,” Baxley offered the first official introduction as he shoo
k Tessoul’s hand from across the fire. “I’m the commodore here.”
My lover nodded uncomfortably and said, “Tessoul.”
“So, you’re the one who’s wrangled our soldier, hm? You don’t seem like the others we’ve run into. I understand that one of our scientists, one whom your people captured, actually, believes they can trigger something in the Vithohn system that numbs your tendency toward violence.”
Baxley was great at making speeches. I used to find this endlessly charming, but Tessoul clearly didn’t feel the same way.
With his guard up, Tessoul shrugged and offered, “I don’t know what it is, but it feels like waking up.” He looked at me and met my eyes with an expression that gave me butterflies.
Baxley flicked his brows up in dismissal and looked down into the fire. “Well, ain’t that romantic.”
“Just the truth,” Tessoul bristled.
“Huh,” Baxley breathed. “And your people, the ones who have mated with the two females in your base, how do they feel about the human race?”
“As far as I know, their goal is to save them from the destruction that we’ve caused. Nothing more, nothing less.”
Baxley parted his lips and licked across them nervously before looking back up at Tessoul. It was a meeting of male egos. “Is that right?” he tested slowly.
“Not all of the Vithohn feel that way, of course,” Tessoul offered, splaying his palms out before Baxley. “I used to be one of them, though. That’s how I know we can fix it: the thinking.”
“I heard Sid was attacked at your base,” Baxley spat.
Tessoul looked uncomfortable then; Baxley had a talent for narrowing in on insecurities. “Like I said…”
“Right,” Baxley dismissed. “And Sid says you want to make an alliance with us?”
Tessoul looked at me again, the group of us all watching one another in a meeting that was growing tense somehow. I began to feel agitated just watching them interact.
I knew that the militia deserved to know the plan: to get a feel for the Vithohn I’d brought into our camp. To see that he was on board, but I was starting to feel like Baxley had more in mind for this meeting than I knew.
