by Tina Folsom
Eddie was about to return Thomas’s greeting, when somebody started clapping loudly to gain everybody’s attention. He turned to the source of the sound like everybody else, and noticed that Oliver and Ursula stood at the door to the living room, looking at the assembled.
“Thanks all for coming,” Oliver started. “I know this was short notice, but I figured if I tried to coordinate ahead of time, our schedules would have been even more chaotic. Anyway, I didn’t want to wait any longer.” He smiled at Ursula, whose hand he was holding. “I’ve asked Ursula to marry me, and she said yes.”
The crowd broke out in cheers. A few wolf whistles bounced around the room, some of the assembled started clapping, and the ones standing closest to the happy couple hugged them, congratulating them.
“Guess Cain owes me a hundred bucks,” Thomas remarked, smiling.
Eddie nodded. “You were right.”
“Thomas, you knew?” Nina asked.
He turned to her. “The signs were all there.”
Eddie rolled his eyes. “Thomas saw him buy the ring.”
Thomas chuckled. “Thanks for undermining my superiority.” He ruffled Eddie’s hair.
Immediately Eddie pulled back. Shit! How could Thomas just touch him like that in public?
His gaze shot to Nina to see if she’d noticed it, but she seemed to be staring in Ursula’s direction, trying to get a glimpse of her hand, which sported a massive diamond solitaire ring.
“Well, another bachelor off the market,” Nina commented and looked at Eddie. “She’s such a nice girl. So, little brother, how about you? Are you seeing anybody special?”
Panic surged through him. Nina had just handed him the perfect opportunity to come clean, to confess everything and tell the world that yes, indeed, he was seeing somebody special. And that this somebody was standing right next to him.
“And she’d better be at least as nice as Ursula, or I’m going to be very disappointed,” Nina added. “I wouldn’t mind becoming an aunt one day. Did I tell you about the baby shower?
Yvette’s baby is the cutest I’ve ever seen.”
Eddie couldn’t swallow past the lump that had formed in his throat. Nina had no idea about his leanings. How could he tell her that he liked a man? That there was no chance of him ever becoming a father, because he couldn’t imagine ever being with a woman again.
“There’s nobody right now,” he choked out, feeling like an ass for not having the courage to confess what he really felt.
From the corner of his eye he saw Thomas’s shoulders tense and his face turn expressionless.
“Mind if I steal your brother for a moment, Nina? We’ve got some training stuff to discuss.”
“No prob,” Nina said quickly.
Thomas put his hand on Eddie’s elbow and pulled him through the crowd and into the kitchen in the back of the house without saying a word.
The kitchen was empty. Thomas shut the door behind them, releasing his grip. “What the fuck was that?”
Becoming defensive, Eddie lifted his chin. “What was what?”
“Don’t pretend you don’t know what just happened out there. First you shrink back from me when I touch your hair, and then you lie to your sister. So there’s nobody special in your life, is there? Because I’m nobody to you.”
Eddie felt his heartbeat kick up. “I didn’t say that!”
“That’s exactly what you said! So what is this between us? You just want to live out some gay fantasies you’re having? But you don’t want to commit to it, because you’re ashamed of it.
Just like you’re ashamed of me.”
“I’m not! But I can’t do this. I can’t tell Nina. Not now. Not yet.”
“Then when? When will there ever be the right time to tell your sister and your friends that we’re lovers?”
Eddie shrunk back, his back hitting the kitchen counter behind him.
“Yes, lovers. We’ve been lovers from the moment you kissed me on that construction site, since the moment you let me touch you. But you can’t admit that, can you?”
Eddie tried to evade Thomas’s intense gaze, but he couldn’t make himself turn his head.
“You’re asking too much from me.”
“Too much? Eddie, the only thing I’m asking is for you to be honest about who you are.”
“I can’t disappoint Nina.”
“Disappoint? Is that what you feel? That admitting that you’re with me will be a disappointment for your sister?” Thomas’s nostrils flared and his eyes suddenly started glaring red. “So you won’t stand up and be a man, but you’ll continue to use me, is that it? Because that’s what you’re doing. You come to my bed and let me suck you, kiss you and touch you. And I let you fuck me, because I wanna give you everything you desire. How does it make you feel to fuck a gay man?” Thomas tossed him a hurt glare. “You’re using me for sex, because you know I can’t turn you down. You know that I’m irrevocably in love with you, and that’s why you think you can string me along until maybe one day you’re ready to man up? Until one day you’re ready to admit that you’re gay too. It doesn’t work that way!”
Irrevocably in love? Eddie’s heart raced. Thomas had never before talked about love. Lust and desire, yes, but love. No, he’d never said those words before.
“Didn’t you just hear what Nina said? She wants me to find a nice girl and have children. She has no idea.” How could he burst her bubble like that? He’d promised himself never to disappoint her again. Never to hurt her again. But it seemed he had to hurt somebody: either Nina or Thomas.
“God forbid your sister found out that you sucked my cock and liked it!” Thomas hissed. “I’d never figured you for a coward, Eddie.”
“I’m no coward!” he ground out, fury rising from his gut, his fangs itching now.
“Then make a fucking decision. Now! If what happened between us was more to you than just fucking and experimenting, then you have to come out of the closet and admit what you are.”
Eddie hesitated. Admit that he was gay? He shuddered at the thought, remembering the words of his foster mother when she’d caught him with the other boy, the taunts in high school, and his sister’s face. Would she understand? Would she love him the same way? She was all he had. His family.
“I guess I have my answer,” Thomas said, his voice flat and emotionless. “It meant nothing to you.” He turned to the side door leading out of the house and turned the knob.
“Please give me time. Please, Thomas. I need to think on it.”
Without a word, Thomas exited and pulled the door shut behind him.
Eddie let out a heavy sigh. “Shit!” He hadn’t been prepared for this. He’d hurt Thomas with his inability to commit to their relationship. Because that was what they were having: a relationship. Thomas was his boyfriend. And by the looks of it, they’d just broken up.
35
Thomas stormed out of the house, Eddie’s words chasing him. What was there to think on?
Eddie wanted to have his cake and eat it too. He clearly enjoyed the sex they’d been having, but he wanted to continue leading a straight life on the surface, so he wouldn’t rock the boat with his sister and his friends. Because deep down, Eddie was still ashamed of his desires, even though when they were alone, he’d surrendered in all ways but one. Thomas had hoped that tonight they would breach that last barrier too, because he’d been almost certain that Eddie would have surrendered to him tonight and allowed him to take his virgin ass. But their fight had changed all that.
Thomas could have kept his mouth shut, not saying anything to Eddie about how this made him feel, but when he’d answered his sister and said that there was nobody special in his life, Thomas had seen red. It had hurt to hear his lover say those words while he’d had to stand there silently. By the time they’d reached the kitchen, he’d already felt his dark power rise in his chest, making it impossible to pull back and cage the beast. He’d wanted this confrontation, because he wanted Eddie to confess that th
ey had something special, that what was growing between them was not just sex, but affection, love. But by doing so, he’d pushed him away.
“Fuck!” Thomas cursed and swung himself onto his motorcycle, inserting and turning the key, hitting the start button, and letting the engine roar to life. He pulled into the quiet street and raced down the hill until he had to stop at a stop sign. There was no traffic. He was about to pull into the intersection, when he saw a dark figure emerge from the shadows and step into the light of the street lamp.
Shock made him almost lose his balance on the motorcycle. What he saw was impossible. He squeezed his eyes shut and blinked them open again.
“Christ!” he hissed.
The man walked toward him, his gait casual and relaxed. “Not my name, that’s for sure, but I never cared much about what you called me, lover, as long as you talked to me.”
Kasper, his maker, the man who’d died in front of Thomas’s eyes months earlier, stopped in front of the motorcycle. The dark power radiating from him left absolutely no uncertainty that this was indeed his maker.
Thomas found his voice again. “You’re dead.”
A wistful smile crossed Kasper’s face. “Ah, yes, that incident was unfortunate. But let’s not talk about that right now. We have other things to discuss.”
Kasper killed the engine, and removed the key. Suddenly there was only silence around them. Reluctantly, Thomas dismounted and rolled his bike to the sidewalk, parking it. His entire body was tense and alert. His dark power simmered just below the surface, and he knew he could strike Kasper the instant he felt any danger.
“The only thing we have to discuss is why you’re alive,” Thomas answered. There had to be an explanation for it. No vampire had ever come back after being turned into dust. “You turned into dust in front of me. I saw you die.”
“Are you sure it was I?” Kasper smiled.
Thomas narrowed his eyes. There had been no doubt.
“Later, I’ll feed your curiosity, but first, there’s something we’ll have to settle.” Kasper looked up and down the street, but it was deserted. “Your lover, Eddie. I’m afraid he’s not honest with you.”
“How—?”
Kasper raised his hand. “I’ve had my people watch you and him.” He shook his head. “He’s cute, I give you that, but really, can you not see that he’s just playing with you?”
Defiantly, Thomas squared his stance. “He’s not playing with me. Stay out of this. You’d better tell me what you want.”
“Isn’t that evident? I want you back, my sweet Thomas. You’ve had your fun. You’ve sown your wild oats. Now it’s time to return and claim what’s yours. To sit by my side as we rule the world of the vampires.”
“You’re out of your fucking mind if you think I’ll ever return to you!”
“You’ve got nothing else. I overheard your fight with your lover. But that’s not all. I know what he really thinks. I know what he does behind your back.” He pulled an iPhone from his pocket and tapped on it. “Did you know that he’s been planning to leave you all along?”
At Kasper’s treacherous words, the dark power inside Thomas roared, wanting to burst to the surface. He sensed it growing stronger, drawn to the power that Kasper was exuding. “You’re lying!”
“Am I?” He tapped something on his iPhone, then held it up.
Thomas instantly recognized Nina’s voice coming from the device. “What didn’t you like about the flat I showed you earlier?”
“It’s not in the right neighborhood. I told you I didn’t want to live in Noe Valley,” Eddie’s voice replied.
Surprise and dread filled him. Eddie was discussing apartments with Nina. Why?
“That’s not considered Noe Valley. It’s practically the Mission. And I thought you said you’d like living in the Mission,” Nina continued.
“Fine. But it was also too expensive. I don’t want to pay that much in rent. I just want something small, just something for myself.”
Thomas felt his heart stutter to a halt. There was no doubt about what Eddie was saying. He wanted to move out. He searched for an explanation. Maybe this was an old recording, something that Eddie had discussed with his sister way before he and Eddie had become lovers.
“This proves nothing!” he said to Kasper. “You can’t prove that this recording is even recent.”
“Can’t I?” Kasper grinned wickedly. “Continue to listen.”
Thomas sucked in a breath, about to protest, when Nina’s voice sounded from the speakers of the iPhone again. “I guess then you’re not going to like the one in the Marina that I saw.”
“The Marina is on landfill, Sis. After that earthquake three days ago, I’m not interested in living on anything but bedrock. Even Thomas’s house shook pretty heavily. I don’t even want to know—”
Kasper switched off the recording. But Thomas didn’t need to hear any more. There had been an earthquake three days earlier, the only major one since Eddie had moved in with him. There was no doubt now that the conversation between Nina and Eddie had taken place earlier that day.
And Eddie had even admitted to needing to see Nina when he’d left the house.
Thomas felt a sharp spear of pain lodge in his chest. Right after they’d made love there on the floor of his garage, Eddie had gone out to look at an apartment so he could move out. Eddie had planned all along to leave him. He’d never had any intention of continuing their relationship.
All he’d wanted was some sexual experimentation.
The feeling of betrayal that now rushed through him wasn’t anything he’d ever experienced.
He sensed his hands trembling and his knees going soft as all hope left his body. Eddie didn’t love him, despite the intimacies they’d shared. It had all been an illusion. A lie.
Fury charged through him, igniting his cells and rattling on the door to the cage in which he kept his dark power locked away.
“He used you,” Kasper said, his voice penetrating the fog in Thomas’s mind.
Used. Yes, he felt used. Like an old toy a kid played with once, and then discarded because his friends didn’t find it acceptable.
“You’ll show him that you don’t need him!” Kasper continued, the words sinking deeper into Thomas’s mind, making inroads there.
“I don’t need him,” Thomas repeated. No, he needed no lying, deceitful lover in his life.
The dark power in him agreed and pushed against the door of its cage, shoving it open. A roar went through his body.
“Yes, you feel it now, don’t you?” Kasper coaxed. “It’s been chained up for too long, hasn’t it?”
Thomas sensed the power as it was drawn to Kasper and the power swirling around him freely now. Bright sparks illuminated the shadows around them. Thomas closed his eyes and let the energy flow, for the first time in his life not putting any reins on the beast inside him.
“Welcome back!” Kasper put his hand on his shoulder, but Thomas instantly shook it off.
Glaring at him, he snarled, “You owe me an explanation! Talk now! And talk fast. I might not know how to control my powers the way you do, but I have nothing to lose anymore. Do you hear me? Nothing! And that makes me dangerous.”
Kasper’s face remained impassive despite Thomas’s threat. “What I tell you now will forever be our secret. None of my followers know. And they can never find out.”
Thomas didn’t answer. He would make no promises to Kasper or anybody else. Never again.
He lifted his clenched fist, his fangs descending. A sheen of red color tinted his vision. Electrical sparks released from his hands. “Talk!”
Kasper nodded briefly. “The man your people killed was my identical twin, Keegan.”
Thomas’s heartbeat shot up. Twins? There had been two of them? How had he never found out about Kasper’s twin?
“Yes, there were always two of us, but we lived as one. To everybody else, we were known as Kasper. We traded places to emphasize our strengths and to control ou
r followers. We could be at two places at the same time, giving the impression that we were more powerful than any other vampire.” He paused.
Thomas could barely trust his ears. Was that the reason why he’d often thought that Kasper had a split personality, being kind and loving one minute and violent and uncaring the next?
Because they were two different people parading as one?
“Don’t get me wrong. We were more powerful than others, because our blood made us stronger. And the dark power ran equally strong in both of us. Nobody could tell us apart. Not even you, my sweet Thomas. Not even you.”
Anger flared up inside Thomas. “You lied to me all this time.”
Kasper shook his head, smiling. “On the contrary. I never did. Keegan was the one who caused you all this pain. He was the one who went out to fuck anything in a skirt. He wasn’t into men, you know. He loved women only. So I can assure you, you only had sex with me, and I was true to you.”
Thomas scoffed. “Yeah, right! You fucked around on me just the same.” He hadn’t forgotten the woman who’d sucked Kasper the night of Thomas’s turning. “You liked women too. You said so yourself.”
“I admit, I swing both ways; however, after I met you, I only slept with you. There were no other men, and no more women. Keegan was the one who flaunted his sexual exploits for all to see, and there was nothing I could do to make you understand that there was no need for your jealousy. He and I had an agreement never to divulge the fact that we were two people.
Everything hinged on it. As one, we were strong; as two individuals, we would have faltered.”
Kasper sighed.
Thomas stared at him, stunned by his revelations. But did it really change anything after so long a time? It didn’t change the fact that the reason he’d left Kasper was because he was cruel and violent, not because he was unfaithful.
“You used your powers to hurt people in the most violent way I’ve ever seen.”
“No. I didn’t. Keegan was the one who couldn’t control his powers. His outbursts were violent. He had no compassion. That’s what made us so different. I had empathy for others; he didn’t have that capacity. It was what ultimately led to his death. I warned him. But he wouldn’t listen, and pursued a path that I couldn’t pull him back from. I tried. I followed him, and then I found you. I couldn’t interfere in the fight between you. It would have exposed me, and I might have met the same end as my brother. But believe me when I tell you, I wasn’t rooting for him during that fight, I was wishing for you to win.”
