“What do you want to do while we wait on the sauce to finish?”
Get naked and do bad things. “Whatever you want suits me.”
She sits in the chair beside me and leans forward, her elbow on the table with her chin resting against her palm. “I’ve not been in your life for a while. Tell me about all the things I’ve missed.”
There’s pain in her voice. Sadness in her eyes. Does she wonder if there’s been a woman in my heart while we’ve been apart? Cause there’s only been one. Her.
The last two months have been confusing. And lonely. The loneliest I’ve ever experienced.
The only time I’ve not been consumed by thoughts and fantasies of Claudia is when I’m buried chest deep in work. Coming home to this apartment every night is brutal. It leaves my mind wide open to fantasize about everything I can never do with her.
“Not much to tell. I crunch numbers all day, come home to this empty apartment, eat dinner alone, and go to bed.” I wonder if she can tell that I’m making a point to let her know there isn’t a woman in my life. “It’s the middle of tax season and I’m pulling long hours. I won’t have a normal schedule until after April sixteenth.”
“How late are you working every night?”
“I’m at the office until at least eight on weekdays and back up there the next morning no later than seven. I don’t have much of a life outside of work.”
“You didn’t work late Friday.”
“I left the office early because of the wedding rehearsal.” I had to go in at four in the morning to make up for the hours I was missing. That was a ton of fun.
She sighs. “I can’t ask you to tutor me after working so many hours. It’s too much for you to take on.”
“You aren’t asking. I’m offering. I just need you to come over a little later. Eight thirty, maybe nine if it’s not too late.”
“That’s fine. And if you’d like, I could come earlier and cook dinner for you.”
I eat out of a paper bag almost every night. It gets old. “I’d love that if Staci and Shane won’t have a problem with you being out that late on a school night?”
“Mom and Dad won’t mind since it’ll be for schoolwork. They trust you to help me bring up my grade. They understand you’re busy with work so they won’t mind me being here late if that’s what it takes.”
I’ve spent a lot of time considering what Owen and River would do if I touched Claud but gauging how Staci and Shane might handle the situation is a little more difficult. They’ve told me many times they think of me like another son, but I in no way believe they would approve of the thoughts I’m having about their daughter.
“Not much has happened with me. What about you?”
Claudia shrugs. “Nothing really. Just school.”
I want to know what’s been going on in her life as well. But what I really want to know is if she’s been going out on dates. “Prom is coming up soon.”
“It’s two weeks away.”
“Who’s the lucky boy who gets to take you?” I put on my poker face so she doesn’t see me react, one way or the other.
“I don’t have a date.”
Good girl. That’s the answer I was hoping to hear. “I’m certain it’s not because you haven’t been begged.”
“I don’t know anything about being begged but I’ve been asked by a few guys.”
And I guarantee not a one of them would treat her as well as I would if given the opportunity. “How many asked?”
“Seven.”
I’m surprised the number isn’t higher. “That’s more than a few.”
“Doesn’t matter. None of them is the one I want.”
The one I want. Is she talking about me? My gut says yes, but it doesn’t matter. Although she’s two months closer to being eighteen, we still can’t have this conversation.
“What are you going to do about a date?”
“I’ll probably go with Oscar. He doesn’t have a date either.”
I know him. Lanky little guy who lives down the street from Claudia. He used to come around and play with us a little bit when we were younger. He’s one of the few guys I’d trust to escort her and not try anything. “Oscar is a good choice.”
“He’s a good second choice.” Claudia slides her hand across the table and touches the tips of her fingers to mine. “My first choice would be you. It’s always been you.”
I watch her fingers entwine with mine—and know without a shadow of a doubt that I should pull away—but I don’t. I can’t. I like the feel of her skin against mine too much to break the contact between us.
“Owen and River never treated me like you did. You were always kind… considerate… patient. I don’t remember a time when you didn’t seem completely aware of my feelings. You put me ahead of everything else, including yourself. You and I share something different—a very special bond that I think most people never get to experience with another person. It’s as though it has no beginning and no end. It simply exists.”
Owen and River were always concerned with other things but I can’t remember a time when I didn’t feel the need to protect Claudia. Always have one eye on her. Keep her close while holding her at a safe distance. As I got older, I thought something must be terribly wrong with me. It wasn’t natural for a kid my age to feel the way I did about someone so much younger. The older I got, the more I distanced myself. But it didn’t help. That girl was always in my head and heart.
I squeeze her fingers and inhale slowly. What I’m about to do is inappropriate. I know it is, yet I can’t stop myself from professing my true feelings. “I’ve always felt it too—a need to take care of you and keep you safe from harm, to make you happy… to love you.”
“What the fuck is going on here?”
Claudia and I jolt at the sound of River’s voice and our hands instantly separate. “What the fuck, River? Don’t you know how to knock?”
“Didn’t think I needed to, you damn pervert.” River shoves my shoulders so hard the dining chair flips backward with me in it. He stands over me, his finger pointed at my face. “Owen is going to kill you, if I don’t first.”
I can’t say anything. I don’t have a defense.
“Whoa.” Claudia dashes to get between us and places her hand against River’s chest. “Calm down.”
“The hell I will.”
“There was nothing to what you saw and heard. Bram was helping me with my lines for a play.”
River chuckles and swipes his hand over his facial scruff. “Well, damn. That stuff you were saying to each other sounded real.”
Claudia looks at me and then back at River. “It was supposed to sound real. It’s called acting.”
“Fuuuck. I thought… well, I guess you know what I thought.” He offers his hand to help me up from the floor. “Sorry, man. I completely misjudged that situation.”
Nothing about his reaction is surprising. “Don’t worry ‘bout it.”
“No, I feel like a complete jackass. I know you wouldn’t screw around with your best friend’s seventeen-year-old sister.”
Claudia groans. “Ugh, you do realize I’m about to be eighteen?”
“Well, you’re not yet, so it’s still my job to look out for you.”
River really thinks it’s his job to take care of Claudia? What a fucking joke. I swear to God it takes every ounce of self-control I have not to tell him he’s full of shit.
Claud collects the loose papers that scattered here and there during my scuffle with River. “I thought you and Owen would be on your way back to Chattanooga by now.”
“We were about to leave. Owen just wanted to stop by and see how the tutoring was going since you hadn’t come home yet.”
“We finished a little while ago but I decided to stay and cook dinner for Bram since he was nice enough to spend a large part of his day tutoring me.”
“Since when do you cook?”
Claudia grins. “I took an interest several months ago.”
“
You any good at it?”
She lifts the top covering the meat sauce and the aroma floods the kitchen. “I think I’m very good at it.”
He looks over her shoulder as she stirs the sauce. “Shit, that looks good. We may need to stay for dinner.”
“You can if you want. I made plenty.”
Well, damn. There go my leftovers. “You don’t need to get on the road back to school?”
“You know we always have time to eat. Unless the two of you don’t want us to interrupt.”
River needs to shut up about what he saw before Owen comes in and overhears. “Drop it, River.”
“Take it easy. I was making a joke. But seriously, you better be glad Owen didn’t see your rehearsal. He’d have lost his shit.”
Believe me, I know. “Where is Owen?”
“Oh damn. I got sidetracked when I overheard your rehearsal and forgot to tell you about what’s happening outside. Owen ran into a girl on the way in. And not just any girl. It’s the girl who was with the girl.”
Every muscle in Claudia’s face furrows. “What you just said doesn’t make a bit of sense.”
“It does and Bram knows exactly who I’m talking about.”
“The girl with… the girl. Holy. Shit.”
“I know.”
“Would y’all stop talking in code and tell me what the hell is happening?”
“Rewind to about three years ago. We were having a homecoming party at the apartment. One of my classmates shows up and brings along her friend from another college. Owen and the friend hit it off and spent the night together.”
“And now he’s trying to hook up with her friend? Eww… he’s such a gross peen.”
“It’s not like that. He really liked the girl he spent the night with but she disappeared before morning. He didn’t get her number and he has no idea why she took off without a word. He’s been going crazy trying to find her for the last three years.”
“Sounds like a real-life Cinderella story. But I don’t understand why he hasn’t searched for her online. Seems like the most logical thing to do.”
“That would have been ideal if he knew her last name or where she’s from. My classmate, Kelly, wouldn’t give him any information about her friend when this happened three years ago. He’s hoping he can convince her to tell him something since it’s been so long. Anything that might help him find her.”
“This girl is the one who got away. Literally. It’s romantic yet sad at the same time.”
“You don’t even have to be the romantic kind to feel sorry for Owen.”
Claudia places her hand over her heart and sighs. “I had no idea. Shit, I feel bad for my brother.”
“Well, hopefully it’s been long enough that Kelly will stop withholding the girl’s information.” River comes away from the window. “But from what I can tell, things aren’t going well.”
We all jolt when the front door slams. “You aren’t going to believe this motherfucking shit. Three damn years later and that bitch still won’t tell me anything about Arden.”
Owen’s eyes are wild and he looks ready to lash out. Without thought, instinct commands me to put myself between Claudia and him. “What was her reasoning this time?”
Owen is pacing the floor. “Same thing. She says Arden thought I was a dick and never wants to see me again. I don’t believe she said that. Not for a minute.”
“Maybe Kelly has some kind of vendetta against you. Girls can be vindictive. Maybe she wanted to hook up with you and she’s mad because you chose her friend over her. Scorned women have long memories.” Claudia’s theory isn’t improbable. Some women do crazy shit when they’re rejected.
“None of this makes sense. We had an awesome time together. Got along great. We even left the party and went to my room so we could talk without being interrupted. We talked and laughed for hours.”
“I think it may be time to consider that she just wasn’t as into you as you thought.” River needs to watch what he says to Owen during this volatile moment.
“No fucking way. We talked the first half of the night and fucked for the rest of it. I made that girl come at least three times. Trust me when I say that she was into me and everything I was doing to her. Big time.”
Claudia covers her ears. “Ew, ew, ew. I’m your sister. You cannot talk about that in front of me.”
“Sorry, sis. I shouldn’t have said that for you to hear but I’m just so damn frustrated.”
“I can tell how much you care about this girl. Is there anything I can do to make it better?”
“Nah. I just want to get back to the apartment and crash.”
“No way we’re leaving before I get some spaghetti.” River can be a real asshole sometimes.
“I don’t care anything about eating. Get it to go.”
“Can I take some with me, Claud?”
“I haven’t cooked the noodles yet but I’ll pack up some meat sauce for you. All you’ll need to do is boil some noodles.”
Owen chuckles. “You’ve obviously never seen his lack of skills in the kitchen.”
“I’m not worried about my abilities in the kitchen.” River does some kind of bump and grind movement. “The bedroom is where my expertise counts.”
“Again, with the ew.” Claudia holds out the covered dish. “I put enough in there for both of you if you get hungry.”
“Thanks, sis.” Owen comes to her and kisses her forehead. “Appreciate it.”
Owen and River leave and we’re alone again. I’m not sure where we go from here but I’m certain about one thing.
I’m locking the front door.
6
Bram Windsor
Damn. That was almost one horrendous clusterfuck.
I twist the deadbolt on the door, wishing I had done it before River walked in and ruined the moment I was having with Claudia. “I can’t believe he opened my front door and walked into my place without ringing the doorbell or at least calling out to let me know he was here.”
“You lived together for five years. I guess he thinks he doesn’t have to do those kinds of things.”
“That was Chattanooga. This isn’t.” My life is different now. No more drinking halfway through the night and showing up buzzed for class. No more sneaking out of bed at five in the morning to go home because the girl next to you might wake and ask if you plan on calling her later. No more wondering what I want out of life.
“Do you miss living with them?”
The three of us stayed drunk and hungover for the better part of the last few years. “No doubt about it. We had some great times but partying every night gets old. I’m ready for the next chapter in my life.”
“Does the next chapter of your life include me?” She toys with the necklace hanging around her neck. One of her nervous tics. Is she really worried I plan to cut her out of my life?
“Has there ever been a chapter that didn’t include you?”
“I’ve barely seen you the last eight months, so yeah, it feels like I’m missing from the last chapter.”
“We may not have seen each other but you weren’t out of my life. You’ll never be out of my life. And as far as the last chapter goes, you can’t possibly imagine how much you were a part of it.”
“I want to know, Duke. Tell me.”
My heart begs my mouth to set the words free. But my head knows that once they’re said, there’ll be no taking them back. And there’ll be no telling Claudia to pretend she never heard them.
We’ve admitted to sharing a special bond. There’s no harm in that. No wrong. We recognize and accept that our hearts and souls will forever be entwined. But taking it further, admitting how much I physically want her, is something entirely different.
This is a pivotal moment in our relationship. Nothing will ever be the same if I say those words.
“Stop being so afraid.”
“You saw River’s reaction. We barely had physical contact and he totally flipped out. Owen… River… your parents. Shit,
Claud. All of them will kill me if I touch you.”
She comes to me and places her palms on my chest. “And I might go crazy if you don’t.”
I press my forehead to hers. “I want to. God, I want to so much it hurts.”
She laces her fingers through the back of my hair. “Then do.”
I pull her closer so our chests are pressed together. My lips hover over hers and I hesitate so I can savor sharing the breath before our first kiss. “My little dove.”
She smiles and nods. “Yes. I’m your little dove. Your girl. Yours, period.”
I cup my hand around her soft cheek and rub my thumb back and forth over her lips. “Sometimes my thoughts are consumed by what it would be like to kiss you. To touch you anywhere I want. To have you beneath me.”
She licks her lips and swallows hard. “I think about it too. All the time.”
My hands embrace the sides of her face as our mouths meet. Closed lips upon closed lips. The start of our kiss is slow and sweet, but not for long. It’s increasingly seductive—just like my little dove is.
Every motion our mouths share brings me closer to tasting her for the first time. And then it happens. Her wet, velvety tongue touches mine and all self-control ends. The slow and sweet exchange of closed-mouth pecks instantly transforms into heated grappling between our mouths.
I advance, pushing her backward until she’s pressed firmly against the wall with nowhere to go. My hands leave her face and glide down her sides until they find the bottom of her shorts. My fingers creep up the openings and find the outer edge of her panties.
“Ohh… Duuuke.” The words leaving her lips are soft and delicate. They’re barely more than a breathy whisper but hearing my special nickname said with such desire ignites the explosion of lust I’ve been suppressing.
My hands grasp the backs of her thighs. I lift and her legs come up and wrap around my waist as she’s done so many times before, but never like this. Never with her back shoved against the wall. Never with my mouth devouring her neck. Never with my dick dry-humping her pussy through our clothes.
I knew I was going to want her, but I never dreamed it would be this desperately. “Fuuuck… you are so sexy.”
Sweet Torment: A Novella Page 4
