by Lynn Red
"It can't end like this," she whispered. "It's just not fair."
"Faith, stop. Let me go. I'm finally free of that coyote. It's still here and if you're able to do what I think you can, he'll only take over again. I can't live like that anymore. I can't live knowing how much I hurt you."
"But, Abel—"
"No," he said as he looked deep into her eyes. "I love you so much, but I'm weak to the coyote. I've spent too many years unable to touch you, hold you, or simply talk to you like we used to. I can't continue like that and if you heal me it will continue. I can't resist him."
"I've missed you. You can't leave me again."
"I have to, my love. I'm sorry. Now just hold me, let me feel your warmth one last time and promise you'll let me go and love again."
Faith gently wrapped her arms around Abel and thought about the good times they had together. She stopped focussing on his wound and whispered, "I love you more than you'll ever know."
Warm, thick liquid covered her hands. Before his body went limp Faith thought she heard him say her name one last time. Her tears choked her as she clung to him, gasping for air as her ragged cries echoed down the cement corridor.
A hand touched her back and she knew it was Hannah. Slowly Faith lifted her head from Abel's dead body. She wasn't ready to let go so she reached for his hand and stroked the slender fingers she hadn't seen in years as she turned to Hannah.
Hannah kneeled on the floor beside her and pulled her against her as they held each other, but Faith wouldn't let go of Abel's hand.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Three Weeks Later
The sea gulls squawked loudly as Faith walked to the end of the pier. Below the water gently lapped against the wooden pillars, filling the air with the salty scent of the ocean. At the end of the pier was a wooden bench that faced out to the inlet where the boats passed before heading into the deeper water.
As she sat in the middle of a small wooden bench with dark green slats and a cement base. Faith set a black ceramic urn beside her. She had been bringing Abel there everyday for over a week. In his will he requested his ashes to be spread at their favorite spot. They would spend hours watching the boats and people passing by. Of course that was before.
'Before' became a huge thing for Faith and something she began to measure her life by recently. Before she was an orphan, now she had family. Before she and Abel had a life together, then the coyote changed things.
The boardwalk shook under heavy footsteps, but Faith didn't bother to turn and look. She was there with her high school sweetheart, the coyote was gone and now they could be together again. Unfortunately she wasn't that deluded to think that way, but sometimes she thought it would be nice. She picked up the urn and set it on her lap.
"Abel, why did things have to get so complicated?" she asked.
"When did you start talking to inanimate objects?"
Her heart flipped in her chest as she recognized Erich's voice and she spun around in her seat. Wearing boots, his footsteps thudded on the pier as he came closer. She had almost forgotten how sexy he was in just jeans and a cotton button shirt with the sleeves rolled up just below his elbows. Almost.
"I'm not talking to an inanimate object, I'm talking to Abel," she said turning around to face the water again.
She wasn't sure how to feel. She wanted to run to him and feel safe in his arms again, but she couldn't help but remember how Erich was missing just when she needed him most. It was the story of her life, she couldn't count on anyone.
Erich slid into the spot beside her, gently sliding her over. "I was hoping I'd find you here. I've been looking for you but when I heard about Abel's passing, I thought you might need time."
She looked at him then turned away, the words 'Abel's passing' hung thickly in the air. She wanted to reply, to say something to Erich about Abel's passing but simply had nothing left to say.
"I know this is bad timing, but there will never be a good time," Erich said. "I've waited for so long and I just feel like I can't wait any longer. I have to tell you how I feel."
"Just stop. Please. I really can't take this right now. I mean he just died."
"Be honest with yourself, Faith. You've had plenty of time. Remember, I knew Abel long ago too. I also remember him when he was a good and kind man. I looked up to him. The Abel I knew, the Abel you loved, didn't die a few weeks ago. He died a long time ago."
"No!" she said, her voice cracking as tears stung her eyes. "No, he didn't die a long time ago. He only just died. You weren't there. He was. In the end...before..." she couldn't say the words. She wanted to tell Erich how Abel came back and told her he always loved her and always would, instead she just cried and felt like an idiot.
Erich pulled her close, but she shoved him away and turned from him. Her tears turned to sobs as guilt flooded her. With her heart aching she thought of the times she convinced herself Abel was gone, that the Abel she loved was before. For months she told herself it was ok for her to be attracted to Erich, that part of it was just her biology of a human naturally being attracted to an Alpha, or that it was ok because Abel hadn't noticed her in years. But it wasn't ok. None of it was right.
Whether she realized it or not, the Abel she loved before was still there, just buried deep within the coyote. And yes, she stayed and never left him, but had her heart truly been there with him in the end? She couldn't forgive herself for that.
As her heart grew heavy she realized Abel had been wrong. She was the key to the Crane curse. Only the key was the curse of the charmer. A true charmer can never find love. She was proof of that and sitting beside her was proof of exactly how powerful she was, she didn't have just one Alpha there with her, she had two.
Taking a deep breath, she blinked away the rest of her tears and wiped her cheeks before turning towards Erich. She had to make him understand. She had to make him leave and she would say whatever it took to make that happen. "What you feel is nothing, Erich. I'm a charmer, remember? And you're an Alpha, my speciality. Give it time and it'll wear off."
"All I've had is time, Faith. It kills me that I wasn't there to protect you that night."
"Well I'm sure you had better things to do," she said.
"Better things to do? Do you not realize how important you've always been to me? Do you want to know where I was, Faith?" he asked angrily. "I was choosing you over everything else. I stepped down from the Council and as Alpha. All my territories have been assigned to Rafael. Yes, genetically I'm still Alpha but that's it, I am no longer a leader. Your charms have no reason to work on me."
"That doesn't matter. You're still charmed. That's all it is. It's the curse of the charmer to never have true love. That's my lot in life and yours if you don't listen to me. Look what it did to Abel."
"No, I refuse to believe that," Erich said as his voice softened. Moving closer to her he cupped her chin and looked deep into her eyes. "Listen to me. I let Abel get into my head too. It's why I took so long to find you. That was my mistake though. I never stopped thinking about you and I never stopped loving you. If this is what it's like being charmed, then I'll take it, Faith. Because the way you make me feel is how I want to feel for the rest of my life.
"You're not cursed, Faith even if you are a charmer. I love you and I know Abel loved you too. And remember, he knew you before you became a charmer. Don't curse yourself out of some strange commitment to him. Abel wouldn't have wanted that."
Erich kissed her forehead then stood and walked back up the pier. Faith felt her words get stuck and die in her throat as she watched him leave. Feeling numb, she turned around and faced the ocean again and pulled the urn back onto her lap ready to continue in her misery.
Before Abel was loving and kind, then he let his coyote spirit chase after his dreams of power and control. She stayed. Before Erich was an Alpha on the most powerful shifter council, then he left it so he could be with her. She turned him away. Why was she always stuck on before?
Thinking about Abel'
s last words to her, she knew Erich was right. Why was she torturing herself? She was a good person. She didn't do anything bad, even Abel said he wasn't there for her. She spent her life clinging to the past, it was time now to look forward and live in the present.
"I'm sorry, Abel but its time now for both of us to be free."
Standing, she twisted the lid of the urn off and looked inside. All that was left of the man she loved were ashes and her memories. She would always love Abel but she couldn't feel guilty anymore when the man she loved before was much different than who he became after. Faith was ready for her after now too.
As she tilted the ashes, she felt relief flood her. Her shoulders felt lighter, even her muscles relaxed. Slowly she spilled the ashes over the edge of the pier, towards the lapping waves below. While most of his ashes dropped towards the water and floated, some got caught in the breeze.
"Death makes angels of us all, Abel. Fly away and be free," she said.
***
Faith spend the rest of the day driving to the places she knew Erich went in hopes of finding him, but as she searched for him she began to lose hope. She set out to get rid of him and had to accept she did a very good job of it.
Driving home she pulled into the parking lot of her new apartment. She couldn't go back to the tiny house in the woods, or the large home she and Abel last lived in. Each place had too many memories.
Her new apartment was ironically in Galloway, the city she was named after. It was her first place by herself and while she loved the freedom, she missed having someone to share things with. She walked up between the three story buildings that housed the condos and climbed the outside stairs to the second floor. Putting the key in her door, she realized it was unlocked.
Did she forget to lock the door? That wasn't like her, but she hadn't been herself lately so anything was possible. Stay calm, Faith. Breathe. She told herself over and over as she opened the door to the dark apartment. Reaching along the wall for the light switch, her heart pounding in her ears she heard movement.
"Faith? I was beginning to worry about you," Erich said from the darkened room.
Flicking on the switch, the sparsely furnished room came to life with Erich waking up on her sofa, his legs propped up on the arm making it look even smaller than it was.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
"Did you really think I was going to give up that easily? I'm a bear, remember? We're stubborn," he said as he sat up grinning. "I thought maybe you needed some more time alone with Abel. I hoped he would do the right thing and tell you what a catch I am."
She laughed then sat beside him and put her hand on his. "You were there for me during some of my darkest times. You were my friend and I wanted you to be so much more, but there was Abel. And I felt so lost and confused and... I just don't think I really believed I deserved you. I didn't deserve Abel and look what he became. I didn't want that for you too."
"I'll make you a deal. If I ever start to turn into a coyote, you can leave me. But up until then you have to stay with me forever," he said smiling. "From the first moment I caught your scent I knew you were the one for me." Erich slid closer to her and leaned her against the arm of the sofa as his arm cradled her. "I love you, Faith. I don't care how much time you need, I know you've been through a lot lately, just know that no matter what I'm here and I'm waiting for you. Whatever you want."
"You don't need to wait, Erich. I've been fighting it, resisting it, but I can't deny it any longer, I love you too. Abel will always be a part of me, but its time I started to live my life again. He was gone long before his death and I'm done grieving. I want to be with you. And I want our life together to start now."
She leaned up and kissed his lips, feeling the electricity and warmth she felt the first time they touched. His tongue pushed past her lips and she sighed as she threw her arms around him and pressed her body against his.
"Come with me, I want to take you somewhere," he said.
"Now?"
"Trust me."
Growling softly, he picked her up and carried her outside, down the steps and towards the wooded area behind the building.
"Where are we going?"
"Somewhere I won't have to worry about your neighbors hearing anything," he said his eyes glowing.
She knew better than to keep asking questions once she saw his eyes glow and figured she'd find out soon enough. He entered the woods and quickly shifted into a grizzly bear, then turned and looked at her. Hoping on, she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck as he snaked his way through the trees.
In a matter of minutes, modern looking log cabin with a wrap around deck came into view. It was built higher than the forest floor and had a winding staircase that led up to the deck. The soft yellow glow of lights lit the house and in the driveway sat Erich's pickup truck.
"Is this where you live?" she asked.
The bear grunted and she laughed forgetting he was unable to answer. He stopped by the entrance to the stairs and she slid off the bear's back and climbed up the steps to the deck.
As Faith admired the view from the deck, Erich came up behind her and slipped his arms around her. Warmth spread through her as she felt his naked body against the soft fabric of her clothing.
"During the day you can see the ocean from here," he said. "Its very peaceful and quiet."
He moved her hair back and his lips brushed against her neck, sending shivers through her body. She bit her lip as she fought back giggles.
"What's wrong?" he asked as he turned her to face him.
"Nothing, I just...its been a long time since I was with anyone."
He grinned and lifted her chin up with his finger. "Then I'll take it slow."
As he stepped back from her she finally let herself admire his muscular body. Moving closer to him she traced her fingers along his powerful chest, over the abs she made a mental note to count another time, and then along those muscles along his hips she always wondered what they were called.
Taking her hands, he moved them off him as he bent down to kiss her. His lips felt strong and demanding, unlike any other time he kissed her before and her body responded. As he slipped her blouse up and off her, his mouth kissed the top of her cleavage as he undid her bra.
Her nipples stiffened as his fingers brushed over them before he took one into his mouth and she cried out softly. The slightest touch from him sent waves of pleasure through her body. She craved him and had to have him immediately.
"I changed my mind," she gasped. "Slow is bad."
As he lifted her skirt, his hands roughly moved up her thighs and over the curve of her hips until he reached her panties which he quickly pulled down as she stepped out of and kicked them away. Picking her up, she wrapped her arms around his neck as she felt his large manhood press against her sex.
His eyes glowed and she knew that he wanted her as badly as she wanted him. As he entered her, she trembled and her breathing came faster. Her body pulsed with the warmth and electricity he always caused.
Her climax came without warning, sending waves through her body as he thrusted further inside her. She cried out and clutched at him as her body rocked with his, then buried her face against his chest as she gasped for air.
"Are you ok?" he asked.
"Yes," she said and laughed, out of breath and still feeling him inside of her. "I've just never felt anything like that before. I'm sorry I came so fast."
"Its ok, that just means you're going to come again," he said grinning as he began to slowly move his hips again.
"Oh yes!"
EPILOGUE
One Month Later
"Faith," Erich said as he yelled up the staircase of the house he and Faith lived together in, "we're going to be late!"
Faith rushed into the large walk-in closet and pulled a purple print dress off the hanger and stepped into it. She then ran to the mirror and clipped some of her hair back with a delicate floral barrette then ran downstairs.
"I'm com
ing, I'm coming! I'm sorry, I lost track of time and I just wanted to look—"
"Perfect," Erich said, interrupting her. "You always look perfect. Perfectly beautiful."
Faith beamed at Erich. He was so attentive and complimentary that she found herself dressing up for him and wearing different clothes than her usual black skirts. Not that it mattered, no matter what she wore he had a way of looking at her like she was the only woman in the world.
There were still times she thought about Abel and she missed him, but she knew that was natural. He was a large part of her life and she grew up with him, but it was time to let go of the past and live in the present.
"Let's go," she said, "we're going to be late!"
"Hold on. Just let me look at my gorgeous girl a little bit longer."
He grabbed her hand and quickly pulled her against him, letting her fall into his arms. She giggled as she looked up into his brown eyes and smiled.
"You make me so happy," she said. "I can't remember being this happy before."
"You sure you don't want to just stay home and lay in bed all day?" he asked with a wink.
"No!" she said laughing. "I promised Eliza we'd be there early. My sister is having her engagement party. I wouldn't miss this for the world."
Erich leaned down and kissed Faith's lips, smiling before biting her bottom lip. "Ok, if you insist, let's get going before I lock you in that bedroom for a few hours."
As they walked out to his truck, Erich pulled Faith close again. "You know this could be an engagement party for two couples."
"Not now, Erich. I'm not going to steal my sister's thunder. As it is, you have no idea how hard its been not telling her or Hannah."
Faith looked at the large diamond on her finger and smiled before taking it off and slipping it into her bag with a sigh. She wanted to wear it but today was Eliza and Knox's day. Having a real family meant more to her than anything and she knew keeping her engagement secret for another day was the least she could do. Eliza had been waiting for this a long time and Faith was thrilled to be a part of it, not only with the man she loved but with a family who loved her too.
