by Jes Young
“I just want to be sure you’re really okay with this. It’s just that you’ve always been a little protective of your cousins, especially Matt. And Rivers, my God. She was like a guard dog where he was concerned. She almost beat me up once for saying he had a nice ass.”
“No she didn’t.” Not Rivers, she wasn’t like that. She didn’t have a mean bone in her body.
“Oh yes. It was right before she ran away. We were all in the kitchen at the Manor and Matt came through on his way out for a run. He was wearing those shorts, those high school track shorts? Who wouldn’t look at a butt like that?” She paused dramatically before adding, “It’s even better bare. There, I said it!”
“Gross, Nina, that’s my cousin. You can only date him if you promise to keep details like that to yourself.”
Nina laughed. “I know I shouldn’t say this, but I always thought Rivers had a little inappropriate crush on Matt.”
I protested just like I was supposed to. I told Nina that I never saw any evidence of that, called her a deviant for even suggesting it. But I have to admit; it made me think. Rivers never dated anyone. Boys were interested but she always turned them down. She and Matt had always been close. If she wasn’t with me, she was with him. Rivers and Matt? It seemed impossible…and yet…not.
“Now that we’ve settled that, let’s talk about your gorgeous new friend. Who is he?”
“Alex, his name is Alex.” I rolled my eyes. “And he’s…um…complicated.” She laughed and I couldn’t help but join her. The whole situation was ridiculous. “Tell me the truth; how bad did they whole thing look from where you were sitting?”
“Do you mean the part where he was feeling you up on the front porch?”
I winced.
“A lot better than it looked from wherever Robbin was standing, I’d guess. How mad was he?”
I dropped my head on into my hand. “You can’t imagine what a mess my life is right now. We broke up. But then last night we sort of made up so we’re not back together but we’re friends now. I think. It’s complicated.”
“Tell Nina all about it,” she said.
And I really wanted to. I was prepared to tell her the whole story—or at least as much of it as I could without using the dreaded E word but I didn’t get the chance. Trudy came in with a new girl in tow and our conversation came to an abrupt end. A quick look at Nina’s face told me I wasn’t off the hook.
“Tab! Welcome back, honey,” Trudy said, giving me a warm hug. “I’m so glad you’re here. I missed you.”
Trudy and I had been friends as long as Nina and me. Starting way back elementary school she’d been the sweet, mothering one in our little circle of friends. The kind of girl who baked cookies and made her own holiday cards.
“Sorry about dropping off the face of the earth like that.”
Trudy smiled like she understood. “It’s OK. I know you had a lot to deal with. Any word from Becky or Molly?”
For a second, I didn’t know what she was talking about. Then I recovered, saying, “Molly was so upset but she just couldn’t get home in time. We haven’t heard from Becky.”
There was a moment of silence during which I was trying to decide if I should keep making up lies to cover their absences or just tell my friends the truth about my sisters. I might have spilled the whole thing if Trudy had come in alone.
The woman cowering behind her looked like an underfed sixteen year old, all points and corners and elbows, but I knew Trudy wouldn’t have hired her if she was really that young. Her collarbones poked at the stretched out turtleneck sweater she wore. Her shoes were dusty and old, the black leather wearing out a little at the toe. Her mouse brown hair hung straight down her back without benefit of highlight, clip, or headband.
“Well I’m just glad you’re back,” Trudy said.
I nodded toward the woman standing behind her.
“Oh, this is Allison.” she said as she pushed the stranger forward. “Allison, this is Tabitha Bennett.”
“Tab,” I said, holding out my hand for her to shake. She stared at it for a moment, just one awkward beat too long, before she took it.
“It’s nice to meet you,” she said in a voice just louder than a whisper. She made eye contact briefly then blushed and looked back at the floor. She had what Pop always called cloud eyes, dreamy and distant and unfocused.
Around town a lot of people are intimidated by the Bennett name. Since it’s on the sign above the bank doors and also on my driver’s license, I’d gotten pretty good at putting people at ease about it. I turned on the charm, smiling at Allison for all I was worth.
“Welcome aboard,” I said although we did not work on a boat. “You’re going to love working here. Trudy is the best.”
I paused, giving Allison a chance to agree with me or nod enthusiastically or give some indication that she understood and could participate in normal pleasantries. But there was nothing from her.
“I was hoping you’d show her how we do things around here,” Trudy said, pushing Allison toward me.
“Sure, I’d be happy to.” I clapped my hands together, making the new girl jump. “I’ll show you the opening procedure and we’ll get you a drawer and see if you can count. I learn best by doing so that’s how I’ll teach you.”
Allison gave me an indecisive nod that managed to convey no answer at all.
I waved goodbye to Nina and Trudy and held the door open for Allison. “I’ll see you two at lunch.”
“You bet you will,” Nina said. They both giggled as the door closed behind us.
*********
I tried – really I did – to like Allison and believe me, she didn’t make it easy. She was all one-word answer and confusing half nods. I waited and waited to see some sign of personality but it failed to make an appearance. She was about as fun to be with as a bag of wet mice. But she was a fast learner; she asked good questions and really listened to the answers. Even though it was her first day and I was standing over her shoulder, she didn’t make a single mistake. By mid-morning it was pretty clear that she was going to workout perfectly as a teller even if she wasn’t going to be my new BFF. Something about her—maybe the polite but firmly distant way she spoke to everyone; maybe the way her eyes constantly swept the room; maybe the growing restlessness I sensed in her made me think she was hiding something. That’s why I invited her to have lunch with us; if there was something to know about Allison, I wanted to know.
At 12:30 we met Trudy and Nina in the break room for lunch. No sooner were we seated around the table than Nina said, “All right, spill it.”
“What do you want to know?” I asked.
“Who was that man?” Trudy asked.
I could feel a faint blush spreading across my face already.
“Don’t make this harder than it has to be,” Nina warned.
“Alexander. He’s an old friend of the family.”
Even Allison looked interested.
“Really? Is that the best you can do? You might as well tell me what I want to know. You know I can make you talk.”
Trudy giggled. “Let me explain,” she said turning to our guest, “Tab’s sister Rivers died recently. And there was a… scene on the porch after the funeral. Tab kissed someone – someone who was not her fiancé.”
“I know,” Allison said quietly before taking a sip of water. She cleared her throat and said it again, “I was there.”
“You were?” I asked.
“Rivers and I were friends. I knew her when she ran away. After high school.” She took another long sip of water and then tucked her hair behind her ears. She looked a little perkier than she had a minute before. “Rivers and I hung out in the same places and then we lived together for a while. I was the one who brought her home when she came back to Bennett Falls.”
Rivers left abruptly and without warning, which is, I guess, a crucial part of running away. If you plan it and tell everyone you’re going to do it, that’s just called moving. When she came back
, she brushed aside my questions about where she went and why she went and what made her come home. She wouldn’t say why. She couldn’t say where. She was back but she was different. I must have been different too.
You know how sometimes you feel a pebble in your shoe and you take the shoe off and shake it but nothing falls out but when you put the shoe back on, you still feel the pebble? The tension between us was kind of like that—just sort of invisible but definitely there and always causing discomfort. It got better with time, we got used to it, but it was never the same.
“I didn’t see you there,” I said.
“Well, you were busy,” Allison replied, a big smile brightening her face.
“You did have your hands full,” Nina joked.
“Nina means because it was such a big crowd.” Trudy offered helpfully. “She meant that it’s not really surprising that you didn’t see Allison because of the big crowd because everyone loved Rivers.”
Allison, who was suddenly radiant, fairly beaming, said “Not everyone loved her.”
“What does that mean?” I asked.
Allison shrugged. “She could be abrasive and sometimes she rubbed people the wrong way,” Allison said between bites of her PB&J. “Especially when she was away from Witchwood Manor. Out of her element and afraid, she sometimes turned to sarcasm to protect herself. She made some enemies during her travels. Some serious enemies.”
Nina looked at Allison with narrowed eyes. “Are you suggesting one of those enemies might have been responsible for her death?”
“How did Mr. Bennett say she died?”
“She fell down the stairs,” I said, instinctively supplying the story Pop had told the police.
“Then that’s how she died,” Allison said. Her sandwich was gone and she was eyeing mine. “Bay Bennett would never lie.”
“Of course not,” Trudy said in her best no-nonsense mom voice, putting that conversation to an end so we could move on to lighter topics.
“How did you even know she was dead?” I mean, who was this girl anyway? She just happened to come to town right at the same time as Rivers was murdered? It seemed too convenient.
Allison’s eyes looked bright and glassy and there were two red circles in the center of her cheeks. “Matthew got word to me.”
“Really? He never mentioned you,” I said, suddenly all suspicious. “Rivers never mentioned you either.”
“No, she wouldn’t have,” Allison said before she slurped up the last bit of water in her glass. “I know you two were like, best friends, but I’ll bet she didn’t like to talk about what happened when she was away. She probably didn’t talk about any of the people she met while she was away either. It was a different life and she wanted it separate.”
*********
Matt looked surprised to find me standing at his door. He didn’t invite me in but he didn’t slam the door either.
“Can we talk for a minute?” I asked.
He shrugged and went back to his seat by the window where he sat balancing a book on his lap. Looking at him there it was easy to see how Rivers could have fallen in love with him. He was the most beautiful thing in the room; his soft blonde curls were strikingly pale against his black sweater and the gray walls.
I thought of all the times I’d come by and found him sitting in that very chair with Rivers on the floor in front of him, folded into the posture of story hour and hanging on his every word; both leaning forward, towards each other, ever so slightly.
“What do you want?” he asked.
I perched on the edge of his twin size bed. “How are you?” I asked, swallowing the lump in my throat.
“Well, thanks. You?”
“I went back to work today.”
He nodded but didn’t say anything.
“I saw Nina.” His cheek pulled up a little on one side, showing less than half a smile. “She told me about you two and I wanted to tell you that I’m happy for you. Nina is…great. She’s really great.”
“Thanks for your permission,” he said.
“I just wanted to tell you that I knew. Nina seemed to think I’d be angry about it or upset but I’m not. OK?”
“OK,” he said in a soft and neutral voice.
I almost left then. I should have.
“Do you know what else she said? It’s so funny. She was talking about how Rivers and I had the ‘no cousins’ rule with all our friends in high school? She thinks Rivers made it up to keep girls away from you. She thinks Rivers had a crush on you. She said Rivers almost beat her up for looking at your butt once.” Nerves turned everything I said into a question. “Isn’t that crazy?”
“Crazy,” he agreed, nodding his head.
I tried to remember seeing him and Rivers touch – just casually – but I couldn’t. Even when she finally came home, the prodigal daughter, and George and Francis lifted her up and spun her around and hugged her so hard I’d thought they’d crack her spine, Matthew waved at her from the stairs and then went back up to his room, leaving the rest of us to plague her with questions she wouldn’t answer.
“Crazy,” I repeated, distracted from my purpose by the images of Rivers flashing through his mind. There she was on a stool in the kitchen with her hair falling across her eyes, now lying on her stomach on a rock in the woods with her feet waving in the air, then slipping into his bed late on a moonlit night. I heard her voice, clear and high, whispering his name, laughing in his ear. I felt the rush of love and lust he felt for her. The grief.
So Nina was right, half right anyway. But it wasn’t one sided, Rivers didn’t have an inappropriate crush on her cousin; they were in love.
“Crazy,” he said again, so quietly I wasn’t sure he’d actually said it out loud.
With effort, he pushed her out of his mind. My mind cleared too, making room for my own thoughts to crowd back in. I was shaken by what I’d just seen and felt, by the terrible ache of his loss. No wonder he hated me for being alive. At that moment I sort of hated myself.
“Was there something else you wanted?”
I swallowed back the lump of tears that were collecting in my eyes and in my throat and carried on with the real reason I’d come to see him.
“I met Allison today. She said you called her, to tell her about Rivers.”
He nodded. “So?”
It was like pulling teeth, getting him to talk. I knew he wouldn’t volunteer one piece of information. I should have asked about Allison first, before he remembered that he didn’t like me anymore.
“She said she and Rivers were friends but I’ve never heard of her before today. I mean Rivers never mentioned her.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.”
Yank, yank.
It was exasperating but I was determined not to be put off by his stoic routine. I could wait there as long as necessary. “So, who is she Matthew?”
He braided his hair, doing his best to seem calm. I could see the crack in his composure though; the slight tensing up of his jaw gave him away. I knew him well enough to see this little tell. He could be mad at me, he could keep me away, but he couldn’t change that. I knew him and I could see him where he didn’t want to be seen.
“She was a friend to Rivers while she was away. I called her because I thought she’d want to know what happened. I didn’t expect her to the funeral.”
“Well, she did. And now she’s working at the bank.”
His eyebrows drew up in mock surprise. “I wonder why.”
“Do you know anything about her? Who is she?”
His voice was tinged with anger when he said, “If Rivers didn’t tell you about Allison when she was alive, why should I tell you now?”
He had a point. There was no real reason to tell me anything. Rivers never did. But I needed to know.
“I want to know what she did for Rivers so I can find out what she wants now in return. Something about her isn’t right Matt.... She’s trouble. I just know she is.”
He laughed. “Allison isn’t here
to hurt anyone or make trouble. I don’t know what she’s doing here, but I know that for certain. Just leave her alone and let her do her work.” He picked up his book and turned away from me. “Thanks for stopping by. Could you close the door when you go?”
**********
Later that night Robbin reminded me that under Elvish law I could order Matt to tell me what he knew about Allison and he’d have no choice but to comply. Under that same law, I could order him to eat dog food or jump off a cliff or kick a kitten and he’d have to do that too. I guess that was supposed to be one of the perks of being Queen, but it seemed horribly invasive to me.
