by B. M. Hardin
But despite it all; he had turned out alright.
Shelton wasn’t angry about it either; he’d actually said that whoever his parents were, that he only hoped that they were well and that he had forgiven them a long time ago.
He said had it not been for what they had done; he may not have become the man that he was today.
Maybe he was right.
I guessed that was why he loved our daughter with every fiber in his body and that was yet another thing that was so damn sexy about him.
Nothing was sexier about a man, than the love that he had for his kids or his mother.
It had always been a major turn on in my book.
As Mackenzie cooed, I decided to let her sleep a little while longer.
At least with her asleep, I could have some time to myself; some time where I wasn’t being someone’s mommy...or someone’s wife.
I headed to the kitchen to my secret stash.
I poured myself a glass of wine and headed outside to the front porch.
It was definitely too early for a drink, but after last night, I surely needed one.
Drinking was another one of my little secrets that Shelton didn’t know about.
He would probably die if he knew that I took a sip of wine every now and then, after all, I was a Pastor’s wife.
I was working on letting it go; slowly but surely.
It wasn't nearly as bad as it used to be; or as bad as it was when I was with Ricky.
I sat down on the first step, as the early morning sun caressed my face and softly kissed my cheeks.
It wasn’t until I was settled that I noticed the vase full of roses, with a note sticking out of them.
Shelton.
When had he had time to do this?
I sat down my glass and picked up the vase instead.
Smiling, I read the note card.
“Every day, I fall more and more in love with you. When God created you, he must have had me on his mind. You are everything I have ever wanted. My life would be nothing without you. I love you, Shelton.”
This man always knew just what to do and say to put a smile on my face.
He was the perfect husband.
Loving, caring, and he did pretty much everything just right.
Pastor Shelton was affectionate, a great listener and everything he did was from the heart.
He was so thoughtful and didn’t mind putting his heart on the line for anyone, any day, at any time.
Briefly, I thought about the day that he proposed to me.
We’d only being seeing each other for about six months before he popped the big question.
After my first initial visit, I vowed that church, that church particularly, was where I would be every Sunday.
It wasn’t until my fourth Sunday attending that Shelton finally asked me out on our first date.
At first, I declined.
Not because I wanted to; Lord knows that I wanted to do more than go on a simple date with him, though I knew taking him home for a nightcap, would be out of the question.
But I declined because the truth was...I just wasn’t ready.
I had more baggage than I wanted or need; but Shelton was persistent.
He just wouldn't take no for an answer.
He assured me that he wanted nothing from me, and of course, I was sure that he was a man of his word.
Our first date was like Heaven on Earth.
I found it refreshing that he had a sense of humor, one unlike I’d ever seen.
I laughed at all of his jokes, on purpose, and not only because I was trying to be nice.
He was nothing like I imagined a Pastor to be; nothing at all.
I assumed that the whole dinner would be about Jesus, church and sinners…but it was the complete opposite.
Shelton had real conversation, interesting topics, and not once did he mention religion. He wowed me the entire night, leaving me breathless and in complete awe of him.
And even though he didn’t quite know it yet---he already had me under his spell.
That night was the first of many nights and dates to come.
We continued to date and spent every day around each other; whether it was at the church or in private.
I’ll admit; it felt damn good to be around a man who didn’t want anything in return.
He didn’t require my panties; he only required my presence.
He didn’t want to lay with me, he’d much rather pray for me or pray with me.
For the first time, I could truly say that I was in love.
And then came that glorious day.
It was a cold, windy, December night; December the 14th to be exact.
The church was supposed to be in revival and I promised Shelton that I would come by right after work.
So many times I thought about bypassing the church and going straight home, but thank God I didn’t.
Tired, and pressing on anyway, I entered the church only to find that the church wasn’t having a revival at all.
Actually; the sanctuary was empty.
Checking my watch, I was sure that the service should have still been carrying on but the proof was in the pudding.
The church was deserted.
Yet, there was a parking lot full of cars outside, so I headed to the fellowship hall.
After all, the Mothers of the church were known to whip up a quick meal at the drop of a dime.
My mouth started to water just thinking about it.
I could hear the chatter from down the hall, and as I walked through the doors, my face lit up like a small child’s on Christmas morning.
Immediately, I spotted Shelton.
He was wearing an all-white three piece suit, with a tangerine bow tie.
The room was decorated with tons of tangerine and white balloons and flowers.
My favorite colors.
Frozen, I couldn’t do a thing but smile as the entire room became noiseless and Shelton inched in my direction.
He was smiling from ear to ear as he neared me, and as he reached for my hands.
The look on his face was priceless.
It was a look that I had never seen before.
It was a look of love, respect, honor…hell it even had just a pinch of excitement, as if he had won the lottery, jackpot or something.
“Maxi---Maxine, you are like a breath of fresh air. Never have I met a woman that makes me feel so complete; that makes me feel like I’m the luckiest man in the world. You support me, you encourage me, and I would be crazy not to make you my wife. So, Maxine Renee Lowery…will you do me the honor and make me the happiest man in the world by becoming my wife?” Shelton asked now on his knees, holding a red velvet box in one hand and a two carat diamond ring in the other.
The flood gates of Heaven opened and tears began to flow rapidly down my face.
Who would have thought?
He loved me…I was nothing, broken, still yet he loved me?
My head nodded yes before I could even open my mouth.
The room ranged with applause and Shelton swiftly placed the ring on my finger and stood to his feet.
That night, for the first time…he kissed me.
Call me silly, but I’m almost positive that I heard Mama singing all the way from Heaven, as the fireworks of my heart exploded with nothing but pure happiness.
That was indeed on the list of best nights of my life.
And only three months later came the best day of my life, my wedding day; the day I became Mrs. Shelton Jacobs Cartwright.
Mackenzie’s crying startled me and the thoughts of my wedding rushed out of my head as I rushed inside to the aid of my wailing daughter.
My life was perfect.
I had a beautiful daughter, a husband that loved me, and a church full of people who loved me just like family.
Who could ask for anything more?
With my baby in my arms, I rushed to answer the ringing phone.
“Hello?” I asked, placing my daughter on th
e floor, watching her scurry away like a little cockroach.
Dead Silence.
“Hello, can I help you?” I asked again, but the only response I received was the dial tone.
Shrugging my shoulders, I decided that I was in need of a little retail therapy.
Sitting around the house had done nothing for my already plus sized figure, so it was about time that I got out and about, even if it was just for a little while.
So, after feeding Mackenzie, and once we were dressed, I loaded our necessary belongings, and my vase of roses, into the car and we headed to the highway for a three hour drive to Charlotte, North Carolina.
I’d only been to North Carolina twice; with Shelton, on church business.
But we were able to visit a few places, including their malls and let’s just say; I was a fan.
Besides, a long ride and fresh air was just what I needed.
With music and the comfort of my hair blowing in the wind, I turned a three hour trip into barely two.
Entering the mall, I thought to call Shelton, but I figured that he was probably too busy, and there was really no need to bother him.
Besides, I was sure that he wouldn’t answer, so placing the phone in my purse; it was time to do some serious shopping damage.
Mother and daughter time with my daughter was just what the doctor ordered.
We shopped a little, had lunch and then shopped some more.
Before I knew it, time had gotten away from me and it was now almost six o’clock in the evening, and past time for us to head back home.
Hopefully, I would still beat Shelton home and at least attempt to get dinner started.
After loading Mackenzie into the car, I headed to the trunk to load it with the stroller and over two thousand dollars’ worth of stuff that technically we didn’t even need.
I heard the footsteps but I didn’t think anything of it.
I was minding my own business, when all of a sudden…
Everything went pitch black.
~***~
I woke up with an excruciating headache.
Immediately, I noticed that I was in a hospital and attempted to lift up but the heaviness of my head weighed me back down.
“Shelton?” I called.
“Yes baby, I’m here,” he answered almost too soon.
He approached me in a panic.
“Baby, why am I in a hospital? What happened? Where is Kenzie?” I questioned him.
“Relax baby,” Shelton said softly, and I noticed the woman doctor, standing in the corner.
“Hello Mrs. Cartwright, how are you feeling?” she questioned me but I didn’t respond.
“You took quite a few blows to the head; it’s a miracle that you are still alive,” the tiny Chinese doctor proclaimed.
What the hell was she talking about it?
Blows to the head?
Who’s head?
Huh?
“Where is my daughter?” I asked again.
“She’s fine,” Shelton answered bluntly.
“Well, we want to keep you for a few more days. Just to keep an eye on you. No serious damage, well no permanent damage was done. Someone was definitely praying for you,” the doctor said with a smile and nodded in Shelton’s direction.
I looked at Shelton as he watched the doctor exit the room and then he turned to face me.
“What in the hell were you thinking Maxine? You don’t come all the way to another state without telling me!” Shelton screamed, startling me.
Did he just curse?
I had never heard him curse before.
I mean, technically, Hell wasn’t a curse word; but as Mama used to say...it all depends on how you used it.
This must be serious.
“This was the dumbest thing you have ever done! I could have lost you today! How could you have been so stupid?” Shelton continued his rant of anger.
I felt my lips begin to tremble and soon after, I started to cry.
He was upset…okay I get that, and maybe he was even a little frightened but still, why was he speaking to me this way?
From the looks of it...I was the damn victim!
I didn’t even know what was going on, so why was he blaming me?
“What happened?” I sobbed, and reached for my husband’s hand, relieved that he didn’t snatch it away.
Why did I feel like I had done something wrong?
All I wanted to do was get away and enjoy my day.
But no, I end up laying in a damn hospital bed!
“You were attacked. They hit you numerous of times in the back of the head. The doctors couldn’t quite make out what the attacker struck you with, but they are assuming that it was maybe something as simple as a stick or a piece of wood. When you were found, you were unconscious and laying with blood all over you. Mackenzie was untouched, in her car seat, screaming at the top of her lungs. They thought that maybe it was a mugging, yet they didn’t take anything. They didn’t touch a single one of your purchases nor did they take any of your credit cards and over three hundred dollars of cash was still in your wallet when the police arrived on the scene. So, they are unsure of a motive, or as to why you were the target of such a vicious attack---except if it was a personal. The police said the only explanation seemed to be if the attacker knew you on a personal level and attacked you for their own personal reasons. Imagine how I felt when I received a random phone call from the police stating that my wife and daughter were being rushed to the hospital, three hours away, and that they were unsure if my wife was going to make it. I’m supposed to be able to protect you and Kenzie. How can I protect you if I don’t know where you are? If I’d lost you, either of you, I don’t know what I would have done,” Shelton exhaled and sat down in the chair beside the bed.
Huh?
I was so confused.
Why would anyone attack me, a mother with her child, minding her own business?
And personal…how could the attack be personal?
No one even knew where I was going.
“There’s nothing wrong right, or no one that would want to hurt you or nothing that I should know about---anything?” Shelton questioned me.
“Huh, no, what does that mean? I don’t know a soul other than you and the church members in South Carolina and I damn…excuse me, darn sure don’t know anyone here in Charlotte or North Carolina. I just don’t know why anyone would do something like this to me, especially in front of my baby,” I started to whine again.
Shelton wiped the tears away from my eyes.
He kissed my fingers and then began to kiss my face.
“I love you…just don’t ever do something like that again okay? I’m sorry for getting upset, it wasn’t your fault. I just need to know where you are, at all times, from here on out,” Shelton said in a serious tone, but I had no disagreements.
I concentrated on the throbbing sensation in the back of my head.
Whoever had done this to me deserved to rot in Hell…but for now; prison would just have to do.
~**********~
~Life has a way of changing for the good or for the bad in a blink of an eye. The trick is to embrace and face change and learn to make it work to benefit you. Take your life for a ride...or get left behind~
Anonymous
Chapter Three
“Dianna, you don’t have to be here. I’m fine, really,” I told her for the tenth time in less than an hour.
Dianna was the church Secretary; and our best friend.
Over the years, she and I had become fairly close; naturally so, since she and Shelton were as close as sister and brother.
He was always watching over her.
In my opinion, he was way to overprotective when it came to her.
Some, most, thought that they were having an affair; but I disagreed...most of the time.
As close as they were, to imagine them in that way; or any more than just friends...almost seemed like it would be incest or something.
For t
he life of me, I just couldn't visualize them being anything more than what they were.
Friends.
Willingly, they allowed me into their circle.
To be honest I had grown quite fond of her.
Dianna was a sweet as a caramel apple or a frosted cupcake with extra sprinkles.
Sorry...I'm a little hungry.
But Dianna was harmless.
She was truly like the little sister I never had.
I couldn't help myself...I absolutely adored her.
She was my friend; my therapist.
Yes, I guess giving her the title of my best friend; as well---was more than appropriate.
I had never had a best friend before, other than Mama, so I imagined that Dianna was the closest thing to it.
She was the logic behind all of my crazy ideas, and she was the shoulder that I often leaned on whenever I was feeling overwhelmed.
I hadn’t had many friends in my past---no one worth holding on to; or the one's that had been somewhat of a friend...I'd accidentally ended up being more than a friend to their man.
As I said...I had some whorish ways.
So, Dianna had been the first woman that I had actually become close with since I changed my life.
She was the first woman, other than Mama, that I somewhat trusted.
I still only told her what I wanted her to know, because as far as I was concerned...her loyalty would always first lie with Shelton.
So, she knew nothing about my past...but I was willing to bet that she knew quite a bit about Shelton’s...no matter how hard she tried to deny it.
“Girl, I wish you would just stop saying that already, because I’m not going anywhere. Shelton made me promise him that I would stay no matter how many times you told me to go,” Dianna laughed.
Okay, so did it bother me that they were so close?
Sometimes.
And did I truly trust him around a young, beautiful, single woman in her twenties…
Sometimes.
But despite the talk and so called advice from the Mothers of the church, whenever I would mention anything about it to Shelton; he would only laugh.
He assured me that nothing was and never would go on between the two of them.
I believed him.
“Well, at least make yourself useful and cook me some lunch or something,” I joked with her, seeing that getting rid of her was out of the question.
