by B. M. Hardin
I was as quiet as a mouse, and as angry as a size two pair of jeans would be if I tried to put them on this size twenty-two ass.
More than anything I felt betrayed.
I was frustrated; I was confused.
It was so much to take in all at once, and at any moment, I felt like I was just going to fall over and die.
I had so many more questions, but none of them compared to the most important question of all.
What in the hell was I supposed to do now?
Shelton returned with two sodas and his Bible.
Was he serious?
After all he had just said, he comes in with a Bible?
After handing me the cold beverage, Shelton opens the Bible and begins to read it.
I sat quietly, merely watching him in disbelief.
“Shelton?” I managed to say to him, but he held up his finger.
After a few more minutes he looked at me.
“Let me finish before you say anything. Its been far too long,” he said and took a sip of his drink.
I only managed to shake my head.
“No, Dianna and I never crossed the line of being anything more than what we were...in laws. Though we were all alone and all we had was each other, we both loved Shelia enough not to go there; so we made up the whole growing up at the same church story and pretty much became as close as actual siblings,” Shelton started back babbling.
I'd asked for the truth.
I'd wanted the truth...and boy had I gotten it.
And Shelton was still giving it to me.
Still yet, it was just so much to take in.
“Initially, I became a Pastor by force...but something happened to me in the process. Something changed inside of me. Of course from playing the role, I eventually decided that I wanted something more for myself and my life. I wanted a new start. So, I went from playing the role...to becoming the role. My salvation became for real. I was saved and I was ready to change my life and live the life that I was always destined to live. I convinced Dianna that Jesus was the way, and together we made the transition, and encouraged each other every step of the way. Yet, even with God in my life, I was lacking something and I needed something more. I remember the day you came into the church. I couldn’t believe that it was you,” Shelton proclaimed, reaching now for my hand.
This time I didn’t pull away.
“What do you mean?” I asked him.
What did he mean he couldn’t believe it was me?
“You were Ricky’s wife,” Shelton admitted.
Hold up...what a minute...did he say what I thought he'd just said?
“I’d only seen you a few times on pictures. Some that Ricky had shown; others that the FBI had shown from surveillance that they had on him. I couldn’t help but wonder why or how you ended up coming to South Carolina. But there you were....in the flesh,” Shelton said.
So, this fool knew the whole time that I had been married before?
And he never said anything?
The deceit I tell you!
“Shelton, wait a minute, wait a minute...so you really killed Ricky?” I asked him, still in disbelief.
“Yes,” Shelton responded as though he didn’t really care.
“And then you knew the whole time that I had been married before, and to him, and you never said a thing?” I asked.
“Yes. When you lied about it...I assumed that you were attempting to forget your past; just as I was trying to do the same,” he said.
I couldn’t believe my ears.
But so much was starting to make sense.
“So you pursued me on purpose; as a get back to Ricky?” I questioned Shelton.
“Yes…maybe...a little at first. But by our third date, I was madly in love with you and there was no denying it. My decision to love you and make you my wife had nothing to do with Ricky,” Shelton explained.
The biggest part of me had wished that the last thirty minutes had never happened.
I just wanted to forget every single thing that Shelton had just confessed to me.
Curiosity had definitely killed this here cat; dead.
I didn’t want to know not one more thing or detail about Shelton...or his past.
“Shelia says that after her father's trial that put him away for life, she and her mother, decided to leave California. They took all of his money and settled up in Washington D.C. There, she says that she started her own real estate business, and a few months ago, she had a client who wanted her to see about purchasing a home here, in South Carolina. Sheila explained that she'd visited a good many of cities here in South Carolina and then one day; she came here. Just so happens, she was passing by the church and saw Shelby---Dianna and I crossing the street to the parking lot. This was months ago. That day, Shelia jumped out of her car hysterical. At first, she cried and hugged Shelby and then she kissed me---“
“Kissed you?” I screamed, now pulling my hand from his grasp, again.
“Maxi, it happened so fast, I didn’t see it coming. She'd said that it took her years to get over the deaths of her husband and her sister. I believed her about Shelby, but she was having an affair on me; so she couldn’t have possibly truly loved me, the way that she was claiming to. But after the initial shock was over, she accused us of faking our deaths, and running away to be together. So, just like I’m doing now with you, I had to explain to her what happened...my clean version of what happened. Conveniently, I left out a few details, such as turning over her father, but more or less, I told her that we didn’t have a choice and that no one could know that we were still alive. I even told her the story of how the FBI made a mistake in taking Shelby, Dianna, instead of her. After a hell of a lot of explaining, Shelia believed me; but the bad news was that she wanted me back. She'd said that she'd never stop loving or thinking about me. She'd never remarried; but she did have a child,” Shelton paused.
Oh hell no!
'Shelton, please don't tell me, please don't say it,” I whined.
“Yes Maxi...he's mine,” Shelton said.
I felt like someone had just ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it.
He had another child...and with her?
“At first, I didn't believe her, and told her that I knew about her affair; but I agreed to a blood test, and unfortunately, the results weren't what I'd thought they would be. I was the father,” Shelton tried to wipe the tears from my eyes but I swatted him away.
“I'm so sorry Maxi...but there's more,” Shelton said as I rolled my eyes.
“She wanted to know where we stood, and if we could be a family again; but I had to break the news to her that I already had a family; you and Mackenzie,” Shelton exhaled.
I guess this is where all the trouble starts…
“I told her that I was happily married and that's when she flipped out. She wanted me back. She wanted me to be a family with her and Noel; my son, but I refused. I told her that I would never leave you. I told her that I would never give up the life that I had. I was a different man now. I was a Pastor, I had a wife and a daughter, a church full of people who loved me, and there was nothing and no one that could make me walk away from it. Let's just say; Shelia got angry,” Shelton concluded.
And then he went on to tell me about the threats and the secret drama that he had been through for the past few months; which of course I knew nothing about. He told me that he had to inform the FBI that Shelia had found out that he was alive; and that they had started to reach out more often in hopes of making sure that the situation didn't get out of hand. And that's where the John fellow came in. He was really an FBI agent and had been informing Shelton of suspicious activity on Shelia's part. He had been keeping a close watch on us for quite some time and he was even the man that had been the eye witness of my attack. The truth to the story was that he had actually lost sight of me in the crowd and by the time he'd gotten to the parking deck; I was already on the ground. He described Shelia, but he really hadn't seen her attack me at
all. Though they were sure of it, he couldn’t prove it so they couldn’t arrest her. Now, they feared that she had leaked the information of Shelton being alive to her father. According to Shelton, John had reported that the last few months, Shelia had gone to see her father numerous of times. If indeed she had told him the truth...we were all in danger.
Her father would have known that Shelton had to have something to do with putting him in prison.
And we all know what happens to a snitch.
Shelton also explained meeting her a little while ago, at the church, at the advice of the FBI, just to see where her head was. He said that she was still angry. She'd said that she was going to make him love her again and that she wanted him to be a part of her son's life; and that she would do anything to make it happen. Shelton said that day she was so angry, that she confessed to attacking me at the mall and to the car accident that accidentally killed her sister. He said that he believed that it had really had an effect on her mental state; because after Dianna died, she had gotten worse. That day he'd recorded their conversation and confession, and the FBI used it to threaten her. They told her if she told anyone, even her father that Shelton was alive...she would loose her son and go to prison for a very long time. And if she kept quiet...they would wipe her slate clean.
Isn't it funny how some things work?
She would walk with murder...if only she could keep her mouth shut.
But with the random mishaps, I was willing to bet that the FBI's threats were already too late.
With all of the news, or better yet confessions, I was a total wreck.
What was I supposed to say?
What was I supposed to do?
Most of all...what had I gotten myself into?
My husband was supposed to be a Pastor.
I was a Pastor's wife.
That's who I was; that's who I had become.
But it was all a lie.
My husband wasn't a Pastor...well okay, after five years, maybe he was; but he wasn't just a Pastor.
He was a liar, ex-drug dealer, murderer, babies' daddy and an adulterer…well, kind of.
I was so overwhelmed that all I could do was cry.
Crying wouldn't change anything.
Crying wouldn't make me feel better.
But at least if I was crying...I wasn't talking...because the Lord knows how many curse words I wanted to say.
~**********~
~Everything happens for a reason. And normally, most of the time… it’s for the best~
Anonymous
Chapter Ten
It had been days since our little conversation and things were still very awkward.
The tension was so thick that you couldn't cut it with a knife...you needed more like an ax. There was always an elephant in the room and I still hadn’t said too much of anything. Honestly, I was still trying to digest it all and take it all in.
I wasn’t exactly sure what I was going to do or what I wanted to do.
But I knew that eventually, I would have to do and say something.
The part that troubled me the most was that I wasn’t even sure if Shelton was really even considered to be my husband.
Shelia had been right on the money when she said that technically her husband.
Technically...he was.
But then again, legally he was now my husband; and had been involuntarily divorced from Shelia a long time ago.
There were no records or acknowledgments of their marriage...but did God still acknowledge it?
I was so confused.
At least my ex was dead; therefore, my past marriage was dead.
Oh, and to think that his blood was on Shelton's hands...
Better his than mines.
But it definitely tainted my image of Shelton.
Shelton was supposed to be perfect...or at least close to it.
But he wasn't; he was a killer.
Was that something that I could get over?
Of all people, Shelton had killed Ricky.
Even though I was thankful that he had, Lord forgive me, but I just didn’t know how to feel about being married to a man that killed the man that I used to be married to.
It freaked me out to be honest!
The drug life...I could deal with and get over.
I'd always expected that he had dabbled in the streets, or at least something close to it.
And Shelton had a son?
The jury was still out on that one!
I really didn't know how or what to feel about that one.
I guessed it was more so being stuck dealing with Shelia versus dealing with an almost six year old boy.
Every child deserved to know their father.
I was a firm believer of that.
Now, with Shelton’s past coming back to haunt him, I was unsure if I wanted to stick around for the ride.
His delusional, used to be wife, had already tried to kill me…twice, so forgive me if I wasn’t in the mood to stick around to see what happened next.
But through it all...I still loved him.
For now anyways.
Shelton, since he had come clean, was constantly running around in protective mode.
He'd said that he had a bad feeling and that something was telling him that it was time to go.
He'd called the FBI agent, John---John Malone, to see about moving us to a different state.
Though Shelton seemed to trust him, I still had one question in regards to this agent.
If he had been the man in the black car, watching over us and the house, for our protection...that night; then why had he been approaching the house wearing all black and a mask?
Why didn't he identify himself?
Why did he run away when I saw him?
Something just didn’t add up.
“Call him again,” I ordered Shelton to call John, who had failed to call him back in days.
Whether I decided to stay with Shelton or not, I deserved for me and my daughter to be safe.
And it was clear that it was time to leave South Carolina behind.
“He didn’t pick up, I’ll leave another message,” Shelton responded.
“No hang up,” I said.
I headed to the computer and pulled up some contact numbers for the FBI.
After being transferred a thousand times, I was finally able to speak to someone in the correct department.
“Hi, I’m looking for Agent John Malone,” I asked politely.
“I’m sorry ma’am, we don’t have an agent by that name,” the gentleman responded.
What did I tell you…I knew his damn name wasn’t John!
“Well in that case, I need to speak to your boss; better yet...I need to speak to your boss’s--- boss,” I looked at Shelton as I spoke.
Leave it to a woman to get real results.
Come to find out, the agent’s real name wasn’t John Malone; it was Steven Curry.
He had been newly assigned to Shelton's case, after taking Shelton's initial call.
The question now was why he had given Shelton a fake name all this time?
No one knew; but every one vowed to find out.
Nevertheless, it was discussed and we were promised around the clock police patrol as they prepared to relocate us within the next few weeks.
No one had seen or heard from Shelia.
But someone had attempted to burn down the church, so we were sure that she was still around.
The FBI was watching her place to bring her into custody; but she had disappeared.
We were getting a few random phone calls from blocked numbers, with no one saying anything on the other end, but other than that, things weren't all that bad.
Soon, it was time for Shelton to inform the church of his departure and prepare to hand down his position.
