How did my mother know Lady Azura?
Chapter 13
“I’m home!” Dad called.
I couldn’t stop looking, first at the photograph, then at the ornament. Back and forth until there was no doubt. They were the same. Exactly the same.
I sat on the floor, suddenly too exhausted to move.
I heard Dad’s heavy footsteps climbing the stairs.
My mom and Lady Azura.
No one had said anything. Ever.
Secrets.
“Hi, kiddo! How was the weekend?” Dad bounded in and bent down to kiss me.
I didn’t speak. Didn’t look up. I cradled the little angel like a baby, letting his lips rest briefly on my head.
“Whatcha got there?” He squatted to look in my hands, then followed my gaze to the wall. He inhaled sharply.
“It’s not random that we’re living in this house, is it?” I asked.
“No.” He let his breath out with a rush.
I turned to face him. “Who is Lady Azura?”
He hesitated, and in that instant, I knew. He looked so uncomfortable and so worried, and I hated seeing him like that, but I had to hear him say it.
“Who is she?” I repeated my question.
“Lady Azura is your great-grandmother.” His words hung in the air. “She’s your mother’s grandmother.”
How could that be? My mind was churning. It didn’t make sense. “B-but you said they were all dead.”
Dad ran his hands through his hair. “Technically, I didn’t say all. I only told you about your mom and your grandparents.”
“Technically?” I cried. “So you just left out Lady Azura? Just like that? For twelve years?”
“Look, Sara, I might have made a mistake. I can see that now.” He placed his hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, but things were different back then, back when you were born.”
“Different how?” I demanded. “I’m not understanding this at all! How can she be my great-grandmother?” I thought back on the all the afternoons we’d spent together. Just the two of us. “Does she know?”
“Of course. She’s always known.” His voice was shaky.
“And you both kept this colossal secret from me? Why? Why would you do that to me?”
“When you were born . . .” Dad stopped. “Wait here.” He walked out, and then I heard him rustling about in a room down the hall. The room he used for storage.
I felt numb. I just couldn’t wrap my mind around the secret they’d kept from me.
“This will help to explain,” Dad said, returning with a shoe box. He sat cross-legged on the floor beside me and opened the lid. The box was filled with letters and photos and cocktail napkins and other mementos. “These all have to do with your mom.”
I could only stare at the box.
“But first, read this letter.” He lifted a card off the top and handed it to me.
“What’s this?” I ran my finger over the glittery snowflakes on the blue background and the silver Happy Holidays! written across the top. A thick folded letter was contained inside the card.
“A letter I received last Christmas from Lady Azura,” he explained. “It’s what made me move us out here.”
I unfolded the pages and read about the vision Lady Azura had about my mom, about her death and the guilt and arguments that followed, and about how Lady Azura knew, even across the country, that I had powers like she did.
When I was finished reading, my cheeks were damp with tears. I looked up and saw my dad was crying too.
“Why didn’t you tell me? Either of you? We’ve been living here since the summer.” My voice came out a whisper.
“It was my idea not to tell you. Blame me, Sara, not her. That’s what we’ve been arguing about. She was angry with me for forcing her to keep it a secret. She was uncomfortable keeping the truth from you.” He reached over and tucked a stand of hair behind my ears, the way he’d always done when I was little. “I never wanted to deceive you. I just wanted to protect you. I was afraid you’d get hurt if I suddenly introduced a great-grandmother and then had to take her away if things didn’t work out.”
“What things?”
He raised his hands. He looked so helpless. “I had no idea what would happen with Lady Azura. She’s not your conventional grandmother. No knitting and baking cookies for her. She’s always been kind of out-there and wacky, and I didn’t know how you would react to her.” He paused. “Or how I would react to her.”
“What do you think of her?”
“I think she’s great. I was wrong to jump to conclusions about her. I was wrong to keep you two apart.” He tilted his head to the side and looked at me. “You like her too, right?”
I nodded. “She understands me.”
“Better than I do?”
“In a different way.” I stared at my socks. “We’re very alike.” I looked up and met his eyes. “We see the same things, Dad.”
“I know.” He looked uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as I had always imagined every time I’d thought about telling him. “I want you to talk to me, too. I know you see things, Sara. I may not understand it, but I’ll listen and try to help. Will you talk to me? No matter what, I will always love you.”
“I will tell you things from now on,” I promised. He knows, I thought. He knows! I could feel my lungs expand. I felt as if I’d been holding my breath for years.
“I thought you were happy here, but if you’re not . . . well, do you want to go back to California?” he asked. “I just want you to be happy, Sara.”
Did I want to go back? I didn’t even have to think about it. Good things happened here. Back in California, I was petrified to go to unfamiliar places and encounter spirits. Here I was beginning to understand my powers. I interacted with spirits and helped them. I’d met Lily, and already she was my best friend. I’d met Jayden, and he liked me. I felt at home in this house, and I loved my crafts room. I’d even gotten used to the crying spirit. She was like one of those crazy relatives people always complain about.
And most importantly, I had Lady Azura. She was a huge reason life was better.
“You like it here, right?” I asked Dad. “You like your job, you like repairing this house, and you like Janelle.”
“I do, but I love you more than all that. I’ll do what’s best for you.”
“I want to stay.” I was sure about that. “But what about Lady Azura? Does she want us here? She didn’t seem like she did.”
“She was just angry with me for not being straight with you. She wants you here more than anything.” He got up slowly. “This was all her idea, Sara. You know, she’s probably anxiously waiting downstairs to talk to you. I’m sure she has a lot to say.”
She could tell me about my mom, I realized. All about her. And about me. She knew how we all fit together.
I had so many questions.
But for some reason, I was scared to talk to her.
Would things change between us, now that I knew?
“I don’t want to go down there yet,” I told him.
“Take your time.” He walked to the door. “Why don’t you look through the box, then come find me? I have many stories that I’ve kept to myself for far too long.”
I promised I’d come to his room soon.
I shifted through the contents of the box. A program from my parents’ wedding. A tarot card with the picture of a sun. A wrapper from Veda’s Fudge Shop on the boardwalk. An announcement from an art gallery for a showing of Natalie Collins’s photos.
Then I saw the photo.
Three women of different ages leaned against a decorative porch rail, smiling at the camera.
All at once I recognized the oldest of the three women. Lady Azura looked about twenty years younger than she was now; her hair was fuller and her lipstick much paler, but she still wore a long silk skirt and a flowy top. The woman next to her had dark hair in a ponytail. She wore a shirtdress and simple sandals. I suspected that this was Diana
, my grandmother. Weird. She had the same intense gaze as Lady Azura.
A teenage girl in ripped jeans stood next to Diana.
I’d seen pictures of her before, although never that young. She looked exactly like me.
Natalie.
My mother.
Lady Azura’s granddaughter.
Three generations of the family I’d never known I had.
And then I saw myself on that porch with them. I saw where I fit in.
I thought back to the day Dad and I moved in. I’d felt a powerful connection with Lady Azura. As time went on, I thought it had to do with our shared power. Now I knew it was something bigger.
We were family.
I peered closer at the three women.
They were my family.
Chapter 14
“Get a move on, Sara!” Dad called up to the third floor the next afternoon. “The Randazzos are expecting us. I can’t wait to try my first feast of the seven fishes!”
I hadn’t gone downstairs last night or this morning. I’d been hiding in my crafts room, working on a present for my great-grandmother.
Lady Azura.
I still couldn’t believe it.
“I’m ready,” I said, entering our family room. Dad was piling presents for Lily’s brothers and sister into a large shopping bag. I added Lily’s hat and the photo of Lily dancing that I’d printed out for her mom.
“You’re wearing it?” He grinned when he noticed me.
“Do I look too pink?” I twirled, showing off the outfit Janelle had bought for me at the mall.
“You look the right amount of pink,” he said. “The sneakers balance it out.”
I’d paired the outfit with my trusty old black Converse. It made me feel more me. I’d worn the clothes to make Dad happy. To show that I was always on his side. He’d sat with me late into the night, telling me funny stories about my mom.
“I need to tell you something,” I said. “I’ve been keeping a secret from you.”
“Really? Okay. Lay it on me.”
“Dina doesn’t like you. She doesn’t want her mom to date you. She wanted me to convince you not to date her, either.”
“Oh, is that it?” He chuckled. “I was expecting something much scarier than that.”
“You know?”
He nodded. “I could tell. Dina’s having a rough time. Her parents only got divorced recently. Dina thinks she can get them back together. She thinks I’m standing in their way.”
“Are you?”
“I don’t think so. Whether we’re dating or not, Janelle is not getting back with Dina’s dad.” He wrapped a scarf around his neck and grabbed his coat from the back of the chair. “Dina’s unhappy right now. She’s directing her unhappiness at me.”
At me too, I thought.
“I feel bad for her.” He handed me my coat.
“I’m not sure I do,” I confessed, “but maybe now what she was trying to do makes some sort of sense. Even so, she’s not nice.”
“She’ll warm up,” Dad assured me as we headed downstairs.
“Doubtful.” I had the feeling that now she’d be meaner than ever. Sad or not about the divorce, Dina didn’t like her plans messed up. I’d messed them up big-time.
I froze on the last step. The French doors to the sitting room stood wide open. The tree glittered with silver tinsel and the bird ornaments. The birds looked magical, as if they had nested in a fairy-tale tree. Lady Azura perched stiffly on the edge of an armchair, her hands folded in her lap. She turned and caught my gaze.
My heart pounded, and for a moment, all I could do was stare, as if I was meeting her for the first time.
She stood, shoulders back, chin high. Although she was shorter than I was, even in her black velvet heels, she appeared forceful and confident.
“So you know.” It wasn’t a question.
I walked toward her while Dad hung back. Was I supposed to hug her? Kiss her? Was that what you did with a great-grandmother?
“You were trying to tell me, sort of, in a roundabout way for a while, weren’t you?” I asked.
“I very much wanted you to know.” Her voice was quiet but steady.
Then I realized that that was what the visions were leading me to as well. “Were you at my mom’s funeral?” I asked suddenly. “Was it on a sunny day? Freshly cut grass all around?”
She wrinkled her brow. “Yes.”
“You wore a black hat with a feather.”
“Sara, how do you know—” Dad started to say.
Lady Azura cut Dad off. “I did.” She didn’t look surprised that I knew.
In my vision, I’d been watching her at my mother’s funeral.
“What do you think of having me as a great-grandmother?” Her eyes sought mine and held my gaze.
I handed her a square box.
She turned it about, inspecting my homemade wrapping paper. “What’s this?”
“A Christmas present for you.”
“You already gave me the best present,” she said softly.
“It’s another present, and the answer to the question you just asked.”
She slit through the seams of the paper with her finger and meticulously unwrapped the box. I fiddled with the sleeves of my new shirt, pushing them up and down my arms. I hoped she understood what my present was trying to say.
She opened the box. Her posture stayed straight, and her grip remained steady. Only her face betrayed her. Tears streamed down her cheeks. Through puddles of black mascara, she stared at the ornament I’d made her.
I’d scanned the photo of her, Diana, and my mom into my computer and Photoshopped in a picture of me. I now stood next to my mother, who stood next to my grandmother, who stood next to my great-grandmother.
Four generations, all together.
I’d made a frame out of mini crystals and attached a silver ribbon to hang it on the tree.
“Our family is now complete.” Lady Azura reached for my hand and squeezed it.
“Exactly.” I grinned at her.
She hung the ornament in the middle of the tree. The three of us marveled at it, and Lady Azura never let go of my hand.
“Mike, be a dear, and unclasp my necklace before we go,” Lady Azura asked. She held up the opal that rested on her ivory dress. “I don’t need it anymore. All my wishes have come true.”
While Dad helped Lady Azura remove her necklace, I wondered about the opal around my neck. The Dina wish hadn’t worked out, but that was just a small wish. The big wish, the wish I hadn’t said out loud but lived in my heart, was the one that had come true. I was starting to know my mother.
Lady Azura and I held hands all the way to Lily’s house. Dad walked ahead to give us time together. Cars lined the street. Family members crowded the Randazzos’ front walk, their arms piled with present and foil-covered desserts.
“What should I call you now?” I asked Lady Azura.
“Great-grandmother sounds positively ancient! I couldn’t bear it,” she replied. “Let’s stick with Lady Azura.”
“Okay,” I agreed. “But I’ll probably think ‘great-grandmother’ in my head every time I say your name.”
“And I’ll probably know what you’re thinking,” she whispered. “Our secret.”
As we headed toward the Randazzos’ door, I suddenly remembered Lily’s mom cautioning me to look and listen when I insisted that all my mom’s family was dead. “Does Mrs. Randazzo know about you and me?” I asked.
“I believe Beth must know,” she replied after a pause. “Beth’s grandmother Lillian was my best friend. Ah, she was a wonderful, free soul. Reminds me so much of Lily. But Beth didn’t know Natalie well. Your mother grew up in Neptune Beach, about twenty-five minutes from here. Beth met her a few times, and I believe she must have eventually put two and two together. You are the very image of your mother, Sara.” Her grip on my hand tightened as she added, “And Beth knows me rather well, and you and I have a lot in common, wouldn’t you agree?”
“If you and I can both see spirits,” I said, finally asking what I’d been wondering about, “does that mean it’s a family thing?”
Lady Azura stopped on the walkway, letting others pass. “I used to think so. My mother could see them too. But then my Diana was born and she couldn’t. Not at all. The power I had upset and confused her. It caused a lot of pain between us. Natalie couldn’t either, so I thought the family line had run out.” She smiled. “And then you arrived.”
“Sara!” Lily squealed. She burst out of the door and wrapped me in a huge hug. “You won’t believe what Aunt Angela got me for Christmas! Come see!”
I followed her through the crowded hall, leaving Lady Azura to talk with other guests. The house was filled with people talking, eating, and laughing. And then there were the other people. The spirits who had come for Christmas. They silently came and went, watching their loved ones, reaching out every now and then.
None of them bothered me. I could breathe easily, and I realized that, at least for today, Lady Azura was my White Light. I was happier than I’d ever been.
I couldn’t wait to get to Lily’s room and tell her that I got a great-grandmother for Christmas!
“Throw your coat on my bed,” Lily said. There were already several coats piled on her purple comforter.
I pulled off my gloves and parka. As I was shoving the gloves in the pockets, my fingertips grazed something cold. I pulled out a necklace.
“What’s that?” Lily moved to inspect the silver locket and chain in my hand.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I’ve never seen it before. It’s not mine.”
“But it was in your pocket,” Lily said. “Did someone put it there?”
An angel was engraved on the face of the locket. Using my fingernails, I pried open its front. “Oh!” I cried.
“Who’s that?” Lily asked, leaning over my shoulder.
My stomach had that fluttery feeling. “That’s my mother.”
“Really?” Lily reached for the locket, but I pulled away.
I couldn’t let her touch it yet. A desire to keep it close overwhelmed me.
Spirits of the Season Page 8
