by Kiki Swinson
Talk about stunned. I wanted to curse him out, scream even. But instead I got up off the couch, stared him dead in his face, and rolled my eyes at him so hard they burned. Pissed off, I stomped away to my room, where I slammed the door so hard, a picture in the hallway loudly smashed to the floor.
“Yazz, you done lost your mind, girl, slamming doors in my damn house, breaking shit,” Ruthie screamed. I reached for one of my library books that had never been returned to school, knowing it would help me focus on something other than my miserable home life. Oddly enough, before a page was turned, Kevon popped in my mind. I tried hard to shake the thoughts, but they seemed to be refusing to go away. Reaching for my government-issued phone, which gave me five hundred free calling minutes each month, I dialed Mimi. Maybe a conversation with her would help get Kevon off my brain. When Mimi answered, I told her I’d decided to go to Regina’s party. I wasn’t sure when I’d decided that, but maybe she was right. I needed to hang out. Because Ruthie, and Rodney were getting on my last fucking nerve.
CHAPTER 2
Regina’s party was off the hook, just as Mimi had predicted. It was at this club called Mystic. Regina’s sister Rhashonda had set up the party and gotten us all inside because most of Regina’s friends were not club age, except maybe a few from the block. But since Rhashonda was sleeping with the owner, Damon, there was no problem for us to get in. And as much as I had been against coming, I was glad to have changed my mind. True to her word, Mimi had come through for me with a hot outfit. I was rocking a midnight-blue wraparound fitted body dress, and some cute black stiletto pumps. With gold accessories to match, I was looking grown-up and cute, and feeling good. A margarita was secure in my underage hand. Nobody could tell me nothing—I was in turn-up mode. As for my girl Mimi . . . let’s just say she was on one. She had taken two shots of Patrón and didn’t seem the least bit tipsy. Party girl was her middle name.
“Oh shit, that’s my song.” Mimi threw her hands in the air as Young Jeezy’s “Holy Ghost” blasted out of the speakers.
Bobbing my head to the beat with my drink raised in the air, I agreed. “Mine too.” I had to talk loud because of the music.
“Let’s dance.” Mimi grabbed my elbow and we hit the dance floor, reciting most of the lyrics. We were having too much fun. Then, all of a sudden, I felt an arm wrap around my neck. Whirled around quick to see who had the nerve to be touching me because I was about to go ham. The arm released and I saw it was Regina.
“Girl, you almost got the shit slapped outta you.” I grinned as I embraced Regina with a hug.
“I’m so glad you came, Yazz.” Regina was happy. Whenever she was around, her energy was always good.
“I had to damn near drag her,” Mimi boasted, still moving to the beat.
“Whateva.” I laughed. “For a minute I thought you were not coming to your own party. Where were you?” We had been there going on two hours and this was my first sighting of Regina.
“There was a slight malfunction with my wardrobe, which caused me to be late,” she explained.
“Well, I’m glad I decided to come. Rhashonda, really hooked this up.”
“You know how it is anything for her baby sister. Besides, she owes me for moving out and leaving me at home with our crazy-ass mother.”
“Trust me, I know your pain,” I cosigned. While I didn’t find pleasure in calling Ruthie crazy, she could be a real bitch. And she never apologized for it.
“Anyway, stick around, have fun and some drinks. The turn-up just gettin’ started!” She was hype. “I’ma make my rounds and speak to everybody. Oh, and let them get a peek at this bangin’-ass body and this outfit.” She struck a pose and we all laughed.
“Okay, we see you. You better work, bitch!” Mimi shouted over the music, then snapped her fingers. Regina turned and made her way through the hefty crowd on the dance floor. The place was already packed, and people were still coming through the door.
“Let’s grab another drink?” Mimi suggested. “Maybe this time you will get something stronger.”
“Stronger? What’s wrong with the margarita I had?”
“Yazz, that shit ain’t nothin’ but Kool-Aid,” Mimi joked, as we made our way through the crowd and to the bar. This time, I ordered a shot of Patrón. Maybe this would shut Mimi up. As the bartender passed me my drink, I saw Kevon.
Turning my head away from him, I stared at Mimi. “Look behind me. There goes Kevon.” I felt the pit of my stomach shifting.
“Ummmph,” Mimi slowly dragged out. “And damn, does he look good.” She smirked.
“Is he watching me?” I asked out of curiosity. Fuck that—on the real, I was looking good and wanted him to have a peek.
“Are you kidding me, that nigga ain’t took his eyes off you yet. Hell, his eyes are feasting on you. Dude is drooling all over himself.” Mimi sipped her drink.
Thanks to her, I was now nervous knowing that I had his undivided attention. I had wanted him to look at me but not stare. I had to get out of his sight. The other side of the club would be a good start at putting some distance between us. Polishing off my shot really quick, I slid the glass across the bar to the bartender. Eyeing Mimi, I said, “Let’s go back to our table.”
“Why you want to go sit down? Don’t you want to let Kevon eat his heart out?”
“Mimi, I’m not a thot. Besides, he done saw enough already.”
Mimi shrugged her shoulders. “Cool. You better hope that table still empty.” I nodded. Stirring her straw in her drink she led the way.
Walking away, I tried to keep it cute and play it cool, but my first step was a little wobbly. That shot of Patrón had taken its toll. But a few more strides and my balance came back. Making my way through the crowds of people, I started to feel more secure. Because now I knew Kevon and his watchful eyes were a few feet behind me.
Relief flooded over me as my butt settled into my seat. I let out a slight sigh. Mimi wasted no time. “Girl, you can’t run from Kevon forever. For one, this lil-ass club just ain’t big enough.” She was enjoying watching me sweat.
“Who said I was running from him?” I looked around in a suspicious manner.
“What are you looking for, or should I say who?” She laughed and sipped from her almost-empty glass.
“You know what, Mimi . . .” I started to speak but stalled when Kevon leaned down in my ear.
“What’s up, Yazz?” He scared the shit out of me. My heart felt like it would burst into a million pieces, it was beating so rapidly.
“Hi,” fell softly but steadily from my lips. The smell of Palo cologne that floated off him, and up my nostrils almost made me melt in my seat. It also made it hard for me to resist him. I looked at Mimi, who was wearing a smile so big that she resembled the Kool-Aid man. I wanted to kick her for enjoying watching me squirm.
“Hey, Kevon,” Mimi spoke.
“Aye, what’s good? Can I get you two something to drink?” He stood up straight with his left hand in his left front pants pocket; his right hand cradled a small glass of something dark brown. I assumed it was Hennessey, or at least it resembled it. One thing I knew for certain: Hennessey was the hood anthem so I had probably guessed right.
“No thanks. I’m good,” I answered right away. Truth be told, I was one drink away from being drunk.
Swallowing down the last of her drink, Mimi answered, “Yeah, I’ll take a martini dry with two olives.” I stared at her with astonishment; working at the Cheetah had turned Mimi into a full-blown drunk. We both had been stealing liquor out of Ruthie’s stash since we were about fifteen. But I had never seen Mimi drink this much. Not only was she drinking like a fish, but she knew exactly what drink she wanted, and how. She could easily get a job bartending.
“A’ight, I’ll be right back.” Kevon started to leave but then turned back around to face me. “Aye, Yazz. Are you sure you don’t want anything?”
“Nah, I’m . . .” Mimi cut me off.
“Yeah, Kevon, just bring he
r back one of those martinis.”
I started to protest but decided against it. He glanced at me for approval. His stare was making me weak.
“Yes, that’s cool,” I agreed, all while praying he would hurry up and just go. Smiling, he turned and continued to the bar.
“Now, why did you do that?” I turned to face Mimi. “You heard me say I didn’t want nothin’ to drink.” I pouted.
“Yazz, come on, why you trippin’? What’s up?” She had the nerve to call me out. “Have you really looked at Kevon? He fine as hell, and a baller. Dude is full-blown catch.” The facial expression Mimi was making was comical. But I agreed with her so much, plus it was becoming hard to keep playing uninterested. And at this point, I had to be real.
“Mimi, yes, Kevon is all that you say he is, but I just can’t fuck with him.”
“Why not?”
“He has a girlfriend. Or did you forget all about that Misti chick? Everybody knows he been with that girl forever.”
“Is that why you’re trippin’? Man, you better forget about that girl. Do you see her anywhere around here? Shit, I would not be thinkin’ about that bitch. Besides, I heard they split.”
Sitting back in my seat, I sighed. “That’s the same thing he told me. But you know how these niggas will lie just to get what they want.”
“Listen to me. Fuck Misti. You don’t need to be worried about no other chick, because they wouldn’t be worried about you. Besides, Kevon ain’t like these other lames, plus he worth the trouble. Shit, if you don’t want him I’ll take him.” Mimi grinned.
“Oh, really? Well, here’s your chance,” I said with a playful smirk on my face as Kevon approached with two martinis. One in each hand.
As he placed the drink in my hand, the KeKe Wyatt and Avant song “You and I” came blasting out of the speakers. I loved that song. I was sure the excitement that rushed to my cheeks gave me away.
“Would you like to dance?” he asked me without hesitation. If I didn’t love that song so much I would have said no, but that was not the case. Without giving him an answer, I passed Mimi my drink and stood. Gently grabbing me by the hand, Kevon led me to the dance floor, wrapping my arms around his neck, I lost myself in the song and his strong hold. Safe was the best way to describe the feeling. For the life of me, I could never remember feeling safe in my entire eighteen years of living.
* * *
When the weekend was over, it was time to get back to real life. Job hunting was the word of the day for me—it was a must that I find something. Not that I hadn’t been everywhere already, or at least that’s exactly what it felt like. Today was Walmart day so after waiting in line for two hours to use the one computer they had working to fill out applications, it was finally my turn. The ancient computer kept stalling and was running hella slow, but I was determined to finish. Besides they were in desperate need of a customer service person. And I mean bad; the girl they had working the return desk did all but curse the customers out. Every time someone stepped up with a return, she would breathe loud, smack her gum, and damn near argue with them. I was so annoyed with her, I almost turned around and fired her ass myself. Near the end of my application, my phone started to ring. The number was not familiar, but I answered anyway. Right away, I recognized the voice. But what I didn’t know was how he had gotten my number.
“What’s up, Yazz?”
“Ahh, who is this?” I played dumb.
“Kevon,” he answered, then went silent. I wondered if he had hung up, but there was no click. And I thought I could hear him breathing.
“Oh, hi. Kevon, how did you get this number?” That was a question I had to ask. After the party the other night, he had asked for my number. But I had told him no without hesitation. So his call was definitely a surprise.
“Your girl Mimi.” To be honest, I had known the answer to that before he said it. Mimi was one hundred percent a Kevon and Yazz fan. “So what’s good witcha?”
“Nothin’ really. I’m just out and about handling some business. Hold on just a minute.” The last thing I wanted to do was tell him my business, but I needed to answer the last few questions on my application. After pressing the SEND button, I picked up the phone. Clearly he really wanted to talk to me because he had stayed on hold for every bit of five minutes.
“Hello.” I stood up and started for the Walmart exit. I had to hurry up to catch the next bus. Missing it would mean waiting a half hour for the next one.
“Aye, look, I was calling to see if you would let me take you out tomorrow night. We could eat or something? Whatever you wanna do.”
I briefly considered his offer. “Okay, that’s cool. We can go eat. Where?”
“We can grab a steak or something. What you think about Outback Steakhouse?”
“That’s cool.” A juicy steak didn’t sound bad. Not to mention some time away from Ruthie and her bitching. “What time?”
“About seven-thirty.”
“Cool, I will meet you there.” There was no way I was inviting him to my house. Rodney would not get the chance to embarrass me with his brown tooth, bad manners, and bad breath. That was not about to go down on my watch. Rodney was an asshole at all times. It was his special talent.
“You sure you don’t want me to pick you up? I could swing through and scoop you. That’s not a problem,” Kevon assured me.
“No, I’m cool. I will meet you there at seven-thirty. I gotta go.” I quickly ended the call before he could contest any further. Sliding my phone into my pants pocket, I climbed onto the musty city bus headed back to the crib.
It took Mimi two hours to convince her sister Sheila to allow her to use her broken-down minivan so that she could drop me off at Outback to meet Kevon. Sheila hated parting with that piece-of-junk van. It looked decent on the outside, but it really was a piece of junk engine wise. It had this constant knock-knock sound that could not be explained. Or at least that was what Sheila had convinced us. But beggars could not be choosers and I did not want to ride the bus.
Mimi let me out in the front of the restaurant, and Kevon was already seated when I made it inside. The hostess delivered me to our table.
Kevon stood up and pulled my chair out for me. I had seen that on television but never in the hood. I almost laughed. But noted that gesture was sweet.
“Damn, you lookin’ nice.” Kevon complimented me as he slid back into his seat. I wanted to say the same to him, but I kept my cool. He didn’t need to get any ideas. I was sure he knew that he was fine and his swag was on ten. He had a caramel complexion and a medium build. He was about five-ten, a little short for my taste, but it fit him well. And that dimple was to die for. Still, I wondered why he was no longer with Misti. As far as I could remember, they had been together for at least four years. Possibly longer. Everyone knew how close they were.
After we both ordered the same thing off the menu—salad, baked potato, and T-bone steak—we ate and chatted.
“So what’s good with you? Got any plans since you graduated?”
I was almost reluctant to talk about myself, but decided it was okay to share a few things. My life was so pathetic, I was sure he would be bored.
“Ain’t much to tell. I have been looking for a job in this seemingly jobless-ass town.” I forked through my salad. Talking about my life was a good way for me to lose my appetite.
“Lookin’ for a job? What you need a job for?”
I gave him a perplexed look because that was the dumbest damn question I had ever been asked. “Why else do people look for jobs, Kevon?” Eye contact at that moment was necessary. I put my fork down. My hostility was clear.
“Wait a minute. Hold up.” He grinned and reached his hands across the table in attempt to hold mine, but I moved them. “Let me say that different, since I understand why you would look for a job. But what I meant to say was, you are too beautiful to work.”
“Really?” I laughed. Because he sounded stupid as fuck and clearly did not live under Ruthie’s roof of
constant employment demands. Deciding to ignore that conversation, I blew off his comment and changed the conversation. We were just getting to know each other and did not need to go there. Surprisingly, when the conversation changed, things got better. After eating a wonderful meal, we topped it off with cinnamon apple pie soaked in vanilla ice cream. We talked, laughed, and almost bonded. So, when he asked me out again, I agreed. Who was it who said drug dealers couldn’t converse?
CHAPTER 3
Kicking it with Kevon the last couple of weeks had been great. Every time we were together, he made it all about me. And I sucked up every minute of it. I could have never predicted we would click like we did. It felt good to have him in my life at this time. Because Ruthie was making my life a living hell on a daily basis. All she did was bitch, day and night. “Job, Job, Job, Yazz, you need to get a job,” was constantly coming out of Ruthie’s mouth. The shit was successfully driving me crazy. It had gotten to the point where I would stay in my room, with my door locked, when I was home. That was the only way to keep her from barging in. But even that could not save me from Ruthie and her mouth. She would just yell out loud with her insults.
The other day, it had me so depressed that I decided to share some of what was going on with Kevon. He offered to let me move in with him. But we had only been dating for a few weeks and I didn’t feel comfortable with that. And, to be honest, as bad as things were, I was not ready to leave home yet. That was where I was supposed to feel wanted, safe, and just maybe it wasn’t too late. What pissed me off even more was how Rodney sat around on his sorry ass, ate all the food, never contributed, and she never dared say a word. Here I was her daughter, and she treated me like a visitor who had worn out her welcome.
