by Kiki Swinson
The look on Kevon’s face was something I had not experienced yet. I tried to look deep within him to be sure I was not missing something. How could he be asking me to basically bed his boss so that he could be the next kingpin and fatten his pockets? What man would ask his lady to do such a thing? I was confused. He couldn’t possibly want an answer right now. Suddenly, I was extremely tired—no, I was exhausted. Slowly I eased back down onto my soft pillow and settled down under the covers with my back to him.
“Yazz, it’ll be okay,” he tried to assure me. But as I drifted off to a sleep with a fast-beating heart and a gut full of uncertainty, the last thing I remembered was Ruthie’s face.
CHAPTER 7
A week had gone by, and I was still in horrible shock over Kevon’s request. Honestly, I was lying dormant, waiting on him to say I was being punked. Except that had not happened yet. I even weighed my options. That didn’t last long, as I realized, without Kevon, I didn’t have shit. That thought was as fucked up as it was lonely. Getting up that morning, I tried to be as upbeat as I could. Kevon knew my mind was heavy, so he kissed me and handed me a stack of cash as he ran out the door. Another day of hustling had started for him. Grabbing the keys to my car, I was out too. I was picking up Mimi for a little shopping. She had just got paid so she had blown me up the day before, making me promise to pick her up.
She stood next to me at the mirror in Macy’s, checking out some pants I was trying on. “Those GUESS jeans are cute on you. Kevon must be sexing you crazy because them hips is spreading.”
“You and your one-track mind.” I turned from side to side and started sizing up my hips. She wasn’t lying—they were spreading. It would be safe to say I was coming into my womanly curves. And, to be truthful, it looked good on me. At least, I thought so.
“Bitch, don’t downplay me. You know that everybody thinks like me. They just don’t admit it,” Mimi boasted. She now held a burnt-orange one-shoulder crop top in front of herself in the mirror to see if it would look good on her.
“Are you getting both pairs of those jeans? They are like two hundred and forty-nine apiece.”
For me, the price was not an issue. Like I said, Kevon kept my pocket laced.
“Yeah, I’m gettin’ both pairs. Why not?” I sighed.
“Damn, I guess you do have it like that since your man spoiling your ass rotten.”
“Yeah, that he does on a daily,” I agreed, then strolled over to the blouses on the rack closest to me.
“Cool, but what’s up with you?” Mimi followed close behind me. The girl could read me like a book. She knew something was bothering me.
“What do you mean?” I browsed the shirts nonchalantly.
“You tell me. Since you the one with the grave look on your face. Is something bothering you?”
I had to tell her something because she would not leave it alone otherwise. “No, everything is cool. But sometimes this new life with Kevon seems too good to be true,” I lied. There was no way I could tell her about Kevon’s request. She would be threatening to get him fucked up and some more. No, telling her would be a mistake. This was one secret I had no choice but to keep to myself. Whatever decision I made would be on me. “The clothes, the car, the money, and happiness—just can’t believe it’s all mine.”
“Well, get used to it because it is, girl. Shit, ain’t nothin’ wrong with enjoying the good life. Hell, I’m just waiting on my turn. We are going to have matching ballers, watch. And trust I ain’t gon’ have shit but a smile on my face. All these thirsty, broke-down hos gon’ have to fall back.”
“Aye, what about that dude Soulja? He a baller, plus he cute. What’s up?”
“No doubt he is fine, but I don’t know about him. He left me a couple of messages; I never had time to call him back though.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Then, you know, I had to get my number changed because of Devin’s ass. I still remembered Soulja’s number, but I was like, ‘fuck it,’ after that.”
“It’s like that?”
“I don’t know. . . .” She shrugged her shoulders again. “Maybe he too cute though. He just looks like the type that got a bunch of bitches. And I ain’t tryin’ to be fighting these crazy hos. Because you and I both know I will beat a bitch ass if they get me in the wrong.”
Looking at Mimi’s facial expression, I couldn’t do anything but laugh. She was telling the truth, so maybe she was right.
“Your ass is so crazy. But I feel you. Besides, it shouldn’t be that hard for you to find another baller in Missouri. Now, let’s pay for this stuff and get the hell outta here.”
Both of us were weighed down with bags as we made our way toward the Macy’s exit so that we could get to the car. I did a double take as I caught a glimpse of Ruthie in the shoe section. The devil must have been busy, because there was no way possible we could end up in the same store at the same damn time. St. Louis could not be that small. It had been a while since I’d run out of her house, never to return. And, still, it was too soon. She was the last person on earth I was ready to see.
Seeing her made me feel lonely all over again. I felt unworthy of anything good. She would not approve of me being the least bit happy; to her, I didn’t deserve it. But Kevon popped in my head instantly, and there was the feeling of me being loved. I could go home and he would throw his arms around me. Things would be okay. At that moment, I missed him awful bad. Ruthie was a non-factor. Without a second thought, I gripped my bags tighter. My getaway would be my destination.
“Yazz.” Ruthie had the nerve to call my name. She could not possibly think we were on speaking terms. But, even if she did, I knew better, so I sped up.
“Dang, Yazz, wait up for me, girl,” Mimi hollered. Hearing her voice made me pause for a brief second. Mimi was out of breath trying to catch up with me. Ruthie had caused me to forget all about her. That woman had the craziest effect on me.
Literally throwing our bags in the back of my BMW, we jumped inside and bailed out. The ride was quiet. Mimi knew how I was feeling so she didn’t pressure me to talk about it. After dropping her off, home was my destination. Seeing Ruthie had put things in perspective for me. She always made me feel like a stranger. But Kevon had gone out of his way to make me feel wanted. Walking in the house and seeing his face smoothed out the rugged edges that seeing Ruthie had bestowed on me. Everything was going to be okay.
“What’s up, babe? Did you enjoy shopping?”
“Yep, like always—that is, until I saw Ruthie.” I dropped my bags in the middle of the living room floor.
“Damn, you saw your moms?” His eyes grew big. I nodded. “Did y’all talk?”
“Heck no, I don’t have anything to say to that evil woman. Why should I? What mother blames her own kid for being born? She never cared about me, so why should I care about her? I’m sure she just wanted to remind me of how miserable I made her life,” I yelled. I had so much built-up anger inside. Exploding was probably my only chance at relief.
“Babe, babe, calm down.” Kevon came over and wrapped his arms around me as tears flooded my face. Seeing Ruthie just brought back all the hurt and pain. Feeling Kevon’s love all around me helped me fight it. Lowering my hands to my face, I dried my tears.
“Being with you the past few months has been great. I trust you and I want you to know that I do have your back.... So I’m ready.” I looked him in the eyes.
“Are you sure you’re up to this? I don’t want you to feel pressured.”
“There is no pressure. I’m just going to be here for my man when he needs me. After all, isn’t that what being in a relationship is all about?”
And just like that everything was a go. I would show Kevon that I could be his down, ride-or-die chick. The same love he had shown me would be returned. I would be his loyalty, his wifey.
CHAPTER 8
It had taken two of the longest weeks of my life, but Kevon had finally set up the first trap that would cause me to run into Caesar. The plan was for me to go to the d
ealership, where he was closing the deal on a Ferrari whose interior he was having custom made. On the way over to the dealership I became nervous as hell. My stomach turned so much until it spilled over. I couldn’t help it. And since throwing up was not a part of the plan, it threw me off schedule, I stopped off at a Walgreens to buy a toothbrush and toothpaste. The last thing I wanted to do was turn the dude off with sour-smelling puke breath.
Finally I arrived. After finding a place to park my car, I worked up the nerve to get out. It’s game time, I tried to coach myself. I knew I looked good—I just needed to play the part. As soon as I stepped out of my car, I noticed several salesmen from the dealership observing me. But only one had the nerve to approach me.
“Hi, I’m Steve. How can I help you, ma’am?” He extended his right hand to me.
I almost laughed in this dude’s face. He’d called me ma’am—he had to be fucking kidding me. There was no way I looked that old, shit. Instead of blasting his short, shiny baldhead ass, I played it cool. Luckily, for him I was on a different mission.
“Hi, Steve. I wanted to take a look at a couple of your toys today.” I referred to the cars on the lot. And boy, were they bad. I’m talking about Audis, Range Rovers, Mercedes Maybach, you name it. I was in car heaven. Clicking my heels is what I felt like doing.
“Sure, that would be my pleasure. Did you have any one in particular in mind?”
That was the wrong question to ask me. My eyes were roaming the lot like I was in a candy shop. All of them were what I had in mind, really, but I named one. “How about a Mercedes?”
“Follow me. I have the perfect one on the showroom floor.”
Inside, the showroom floor’s new-car smell sucked me up, overwhelmed me even. The building itself was so luxurious I could have driven it around. And the car, as we approached it, sang love songs to me. Suddenly, I craved a Mercedes. The car was to die for—it was a silver two-door E550-Class Coupe. Its leather interior greeted me with open arms. The reason for me being there was easily forgotten, but as I climbed out of the car, I came face-to-face with Caesar himself.
“Yazz, right?” he asked me, as if he were not sure. First off, I knew his ass was playing a game because the look on his face told me he knew exactly who I was. But I played along.
“Yes,” I managed, then looked at Steve, the car salesman, who seemed to be staring at us both. Steve’s presence played well in my court. I used it to make it seem as if I was not interested in talking to Caesar. “So, Steve, what’s the asking price for this one?”
“About sixty-five thousand. And as you can see, it’s worth every dime.” He gently rubbed his hand across the hood.
“Indeed, it’s cool. I’m sure a beautiful lady could enjoy it,” Caesar spoke up, and his slick flirting didn’t go unnoticed. “Are you gon’ cop this today?” he asked me.
“Maybe.” My response was short on purpose.
Someone came over the pager system and called Steve, catching us all off guard. He excused himself with the promise of returning.
“Do you think this car might be too fast for you?”
“No, this I could handle.” I softly rubbed the roof of the car like it was precious to me. The connection to the car was not a part of my plan. I sincerely loved it.
“Well, you should have Kevon pick this up for you. I think it fits you.”
“Maybe I will.”
“All right, I think we have everything ready to go.” The salesman Caesar had been working with approached him.
“Okay, I’ll be right over.” Caesar turned his attention back to me. “It was nice running into you here, Yazz. Maybe I’ll see you again sometime.”
“St. Louis is small,” was my reply. I felt stupid for saying that. I sounded like a stalker. Kevon was going to be disappointed in me. Making replies like that, I had probably blown it. It seemed every word that came out of my mouth was wrong.
Before he walked away, Caesar turned to me. “By the way, you look nice today.” He smiled. And boom, there it was. I had him after all. Next, I had to get out of there before Steve came back to hassle me about buying that damn car. As much as it would please me to have it, I knew that was not the reason for this trip. So I was out.
As soon as the door to my BMW was closed, I dialed Kevon’s number. “What’s up, babe?” Kevon answered on the second ring. “How’d it go?” It was obvious from his voice that he was anxious.
“I think it went good. The only change was he noticed me first. I was looking at this Mercedes, then out of nowhere he appeared. He approached me with small talk about the car, but then he had to go because he had to finish up his paperwork. He did, however, comment on how good I looked before he walked away. All in all, I think it was a win.” At least I was pretty sure it was.
“A’ight, that sounds good.” He seemed satisfied. “Check this out though—I need you to get ready for a party at Caesar’s crib tonight. You gotta be on your bad-chick shit because we about to kick this into overdrive. Shit about to get real and quick. But you got this, so don’t worry. Plus, I got your back one hundred grand, a’ight. So let’s get it.”
“I’m ready, babe. I’m going home to take a good hot bubble bath, and I’ll see you tonight.”
“Cool, I’ll be to the crib after I make a few more pickups.” With that, he hung up. I was all in now—the nervousness was a distant memory. There was no turning back. Increasing the volume on my car radio, I drove to the house in relaxation mode, no distractions. Just me and Keyshia Cole’s “Love.”
CHAPTER 9
Arriving at Caesar’s house was a breathtaking moment. It was nothing short of a mansion. He lived in Region Estates, a nice gated community. The three-story, six-car garage looked like something off the show Cribs. Any celebrity could live right next door. Stepping inside, onto his flawless marble floors, left me feeling anxious. I fought hard not to ooh and ahh at all the beautiful things that I had never seen up close and personal in all my life. I calmly walked beside Kevon as if I were used to this style of the drug-dealing wealthy.
Stepping out by the pool where the party was being held, I was floored by the beauty. The massive yard didn’t have only one pool; it had two. It resembled an island. Off to the side was a huge hot tub that was bubbling, waiting to be taken advantage of. Never once had I experienced a hot tub, but it looked so comfortable. At this point, stripping and stepping inside didn’t seem like such a bad idea. I shook the thought away and held on to Kevon’s elbow as a waiter approached us with some drinks. Reaching a little too quickly, I grabbed one.
“Nervous?” Kevon eyed me and grinned.
Gulping down the whole glass, I lied, “No.” As I handed him my glass, my eyes searched for the next waiter. “I am thirsty though.”
Signaling a waitress who was walking close by, Kevon set the empty glass I had given him on the tray before retrieving a new one. “Yazz, there is no need for you to be nervous. I’m here for you.” Passing me the wineglass, he seemed so confident.
“I know, and I got this.” I smiled with confidence. I wanted him to believe in me.
“Well, I gotta go inside for a minute to handle a few things. Just be cool. Remember you the baddest chick here. And lookin’ hella sexy.”
Winking at Kevon, I grinned at his compliment. That, he was not lying about; my face was beat, courtesy of Macy’s. Not to mention, my outfit was on point. The Bailey 44 cutout stretch dress I had copped fit me like a glove, and my pink Jimmy Choo suede pumps were killing the shoe game. Nothing about me said lacking, and with all the eye action I was receiving, it was a fact.
Deciding to mingle with the crowd, I sipped and walked slowly. A slight touch on my shoulder caught my attention.
“What’s up with your girl?” Soulja boldly asked.
“Hmmm, I guess saying hi or hello would be a stretch?” I was sarcastic on purpose.
“Oh my bad.” He smiled. “Hi, how are you?”
“I’m just messing with you.” I laughed. “But Mimi, she�
�s cool.”
“Really, well, I think she got her number changed to avoid me.”
“Avoid you?” I smirked. He couldn’t possibly be for real. “No, I doubt that,” was my reply. If he only knew how Devin, Mimi’s ex-boyfriend, had busted up her phone because of him. Devin had gotten pissed when he’d seen Soulja’s name light up on her phone back to back. Even though he played the part of being over Mimi, jealousy had taken over. However, none of this was my business to tell Soulja.
“Yo, my man, are you tryin’ to step to my girl?” Kevon joked as he approached us.
“Nah. But her girl would be good though.” Soulja laughed as they locked hands in a gangster handshake.
“That’s what’s up. They be playin’ hard to get.” Kevon smiled in my direction.
“Whateva,” I replied, playfully rolling my eyes.
“I’ma catch her though. Then she’ll be mine.” Soulja kept his confidence. “I’ma get up with y’all later though,” he excused himself before disappearing in the crowd.
“Look, it’s game time. Get ready to bait your hook. Go inside through the kitchen, then out into the hallway facing north. Walk past the first two sets of doors, then walk through the den. That will take you over to another hallway. Take your first right, which will be Caesar’s office. Play it cool, as if you were going to the bathroom.”
Taking in all the information, I stored it into my brain.
“I got it.” I smiled with reassurance. Rubbing my hand over my front torso as if to smooth out my already fitted dress, I was ready.
Once inside, I followed Kevon’s instructions to a T. As soon as Caesar’s office was in view, I froze. The game was on. Slowly, and seductively, I walked past Caesar’s office, pretending to be lost, yet on a mission. I was almost out of his doorway and in the clear when he called out my name.
“Yazz.” His voice was low, just above a whisper.
My footsteps came to a halt. Facing him, I spoke. “Hey.”
