My gaze skidded over a thin scar on his neck just above his shirt collar. “How did you get that?” I asked, reaching out to touch it on instinct. He tilted his head, letting my fingers trace it then I pulled my hand back, unsure why I’d wanted to. Any touch I shared with him should have been violent, not gentle. And definitely not tender.
“Bullet,” he said offhandedly like it was a regular occurrence. “One centimetre to the left and I’d be less of a problem for you, bella. Of course, I’d still haunt you from beyond the grave. Not quite as effective as doing it in the flesh though, is it?”
“Is that what you’d spend your time doing if you were dead, Rocco?” I asked coolly, turning to face the view again and watching the snowflakes tumble from the heavens.
“Undoubtedly,” he said with a note of amusement in his voice. “On this plain or any other, I’ll be your nightmare.”
“Well maybe you’d be haunting me already if I’d remembered the safety catch on that gun four years ago.”
He laughed obnoxiously and I stole a look at him from the corner of my eyes. “Even if you’d had it off and taken the shot, it’s more likely the wall behind me would have needed some open-heart surgery. There’s no way you would have hit me.”
“You were three feet away!” I rounded on him in anger.
He swigged from the rum bottle. “Two, and you still would have missed.” He grinned easily and I bit the inside of my cheek so that his smile couldn’t infect me.
“Psh.” I waved him off, snatching the rum from his hand and taking a long drink. “You just can’t admit I would have killed you that day.”
“Even if the barrel of your gun had been rested against my forehead, you still would have missed. Fate wants us right here, principessa.” He knocked his knuckles on the railing, dislodging a line of snow. “Can’t you feel it?”
“Fate is bullshit. If you’d squeezed harder that day, you wouldn’t have anyone to hold against my father.”
“I seem to recall I squeezed just the right amount.”
The world was suddenly too quiet as his words washed over me, the weight of them seeming to press down on my heart.
“Liar,” I practically demanded. I rounded on him again, staring him down as I tried to read the truth from his expression.
He leaned in closer then shrugged. “Or maybe I’m just embarrassed about failing.”
I relaxed at that, which was stupid, but everything I knew about Rocco hinged on that day. That single moment he’d tried to kill me. It was pivotal to me hating him. And I needed to hate him; it was the only thing keeping me sane in this place.
“I might not be so easy to kill the next time you try,” I muttered, angling myself away from him.
“Do you enjoy having morbid conversations?” His footsteps moved away from me and I scowled down at the trees below. The wind chilled my cheeks and a shiver took hold of me.
“What do you expect me to talk about in this place? Fairytales and kittens?”
“How about vibrators and sex swings?” he offered and it took everything I had not to laugh.
I glanced over my shoulder at him, finding him stepping into the hot tub fully clothed, shoes and all. “What the hell are you doing?”
He sank down into the bubbles, stretching his arms along the back edge with a smirk. “Come in.”
“No,” I said immediately.
“Looks cold out there,” he commented.
I scowled as the wind bit at my exposed flesh, looking out at the darkening sky. Part of me was begging to get in the tub. The part that was drunk and reckless. I couldn’t make my escape right then and I was freezing my ass off. Of course, that part of me was also undressing herself and eyeing up Rocco’s mouth with a greedy expression, so I had to keep her in check.
I marched over to the hot tub, hesitating a movement before climbing in fully dressed too. I didn’t speak a word and sank into the heated water with a sigh. Rocco sat opposite me, spreading his legs to rest one foot on either side of my seat. He tipped the bottle of rum into his mouth, over half of it gone already.
Mischief circled in his eyes as he placed the bottle on the edge of the tub, his gaze boring into mine.
“Do you hate me, principessa?” He cocked his head.
“Yes.” No. Sometimes. Always.
He dropped his feet off of my seat, moving toward me through the water and shedding his jacket so it floated behind him. I pressed back against the wall of the tub as he moved through the mist like a siren in a bay, steam coiling up around him.
“I hate you too,” he purred like he was saying the exact opposite. “I hate you so hard it’s burned my insides and left them black and hollow.” He moved right up into my personal space, resting his hand on my knee.
My throat bobbed in time with his as electric energy charged the water and raised the hairs along the back of my neck.
“I don’t think you hate me, Rocco,” I breathed. “I think you wish you did.” There was a dare in my tone, because maybe I wanted to believe my words were true. And maybe it was how I felt about him deep down.
His eyes dropped to my mouth with a carnal hunger, then he shifted into the seat beside mine without a word, releasing his grip on my leg. I took a steadying breath as his shoulder rubbed against mine and I tried to catch my thoughts before they scattered away on the breeze.
“Remember when you were a child and anything seemed possible?” he whispered, his voice intoxicating, laced with excitement. I nodded slowly and he leaned in close. “That’s how I feel today. Will you play with me, principessa?” His breath feathered against my neck and I found myself lured in like a moth to a flame.
“We’re not children, Rocco,” I said, holding onto my last piece of resolve.
“There’s no one else here but us. We’re miles from anywhere, snowed in to this house and the only rules that exist are the ones we make. So what do you say, Sloan?”
My heart jolted at the use of my name. The first time he’d ever acknowledged that I had one.
“What do you want to play?” I whispered, giving in to the dark part of me that wanted this. Between the alcohol and the snow beating down on the house, there was a window of time created just for us to shed our family names and pretend we weren’t enemies. I could already feel how temporary it was, the seconds counting down like at Cinderella’s ball. So I’d soak up the minutes and forget reality like she had, because despite being captive to this man, he felt like a real taste of freedom.
“Kiss chase,” he answered darkly, taking my hand and placing it against his chest. His heart thrummed like the powerful wings of an eagle beneath my palm. “Tag, I’m it.” He lifted my hand and my fingers curled instinctively as he guided them to his mouth, grazing his lips across my knuckles.
My throat tightened and my belly clenched with need as I felt that kiss right through to my core.
“I’ll count to ten,” he said. “Then I’m coming for my next kiss.”
I opened my mouth to refuse, but nothing came out.
“One,” Rocco said lazily, leaning back against the edge of the tub and surveying me like a hungry tiger.
I jumped up as I made my decision (which went along the lines of fuck it), water streaming from my dress as I climbed out of the tub. I ran across the balcony, slipping indoors as water poured all around me. Rocco’s loud counting followed me and I sensed he wanted a real game out of this. And I intended on giving him one.
As I made it into the corridor, I pulled my dress off, knowing it was leaving a trail. I carried it into a bedroom before dumping it on the bed and wiping my wet feet off on a fur coat which had fallen from the back of a chair – oh is that Clarissa’s? What a shame.
I hurried out of the room and ran along the hall butt naked and completely silent as I sped into Rocco’s room. I ran to the drawers where he kept my clothes, hooking out sweatpants and a tank top before darting into the closet and dragging them on.
My breathing came heavily as a door banged close by
and a low chuckle reached me. He’d found the dress for sure.
My heart thumped solidly against my ribcage as I worked hard to block out all thoughts of how crazy this was. But maybe I wanted to lose my mind today.
Footsteps pounded in and out of rooms around me and it sounded like Rocco was tearing the place apart to find me.
The door to his bedroom soon flew open and I bit down on my lip, holding my breath as I peered between the gap in the closet doors as he strode into the room. His wet shirt clung to his muscular frame, transparent enough to see the gun tattoos which crossed over his chest.
I drank in the wild look in his eyes as he searched under the bed then turned to check the bathroom. I knew the closet was next, it was too damn obvious.
With my heart thundering in my chest, I threw the doors open, sprinting out of the room.
His footfalls pounded after me as he released a booming laugh.
Adrenaline tumbled through me as I charged toward the bathroom down the hall with a shriek, darting inside and swinging it shut. My fingers reached for the lock but the key was gone and I gasped as the door whipped open.
Rocco filled the frame, victory in his eyes as he reached out to grab me.
I darted under his right arm, making it one more step before his hands locked around my waist. He threw me to the floor, flattening me with his immense body and pressing his forehead firmly to mine to hold me still.
His eyes were so close I could see every silver fleck etched across the hazel depths of his irises. I shamelessly lifted my chin, foolishly wanting the kiss the game promised. But I was dizzy and euphoric. I wanted to feel the heat of his flesh, taste the fire in his soul and drown in the freedom he embodied. I needed to take it all and make it my own. I envied him, resented him, hated him. And I wanted him like nothing I’d ever known.
“A kiss can be the most innocent thing in the world or the dirtiest thing you’ve ever experienced. It depends where you put it…” He scoured my features as if deciding where to place his mouth.
“It doesn’t matter where you put it, a kiss from you makes me wanna puke,” I fed him the lie.
He released a deep laugh that made my toes curl and my hips buck a little – just before I slammed them back down and mentally wrapped them in chains. He did not need to figure out I was into this.
“Let’s prove you’re a liar then,” he said venomously, forcing my head to one side with his chin before brushing his lips over my ear. My entire body shook like an earthquake from the faint touch and I balled my hands into fists, refusing to react any further. His tongue ran up the shell then back down again before he sucked the lobe into his mouth. My back arched as I felt every stroke of his tongue right between my thighs, the sensation resonating throughout my entire being.
My legs widened involuntarily and a wanton moan spilled from my tongue and rang out around the empty halls. I fisted my hands in Rocco’s wet shirt then ran them smoothly up the firm muscles of his back. He grew hard between my legs and my eyes became hooded as I shamelessly dry humped him like a horny teenager.
My body ached for release and I hated how good it felt to be tangled around him. I had to stop this though. I couldn’t let it go any further. But before I’d summoned the god-given will to push him back, he lifted his head and grinned maliciously.
“Feels good to be right,” he growled then jumped up, gazing down at me and suddenly I felt small and stupid and totally naive. “I’m hungry, what’s for dinner?”
He held out a hand for me, but I smacked it away, ashamed of myself as I stood up and turned my back on him. What’s happening to me??
I headed downstairs without a word, marching into the kitchen and pouring myself a glass of water. I kept my eyes on the snow piling up beyond the window as I drank the chilled liquid, the taste of it bitter in my mouth. The sun had almost set and the snow storm was easing off a little, but there was at least a few feet piled up on the lawn.
I heard Rocco enter the room and sit at the island. The master and his slave.
I clenched my teeth, gazing at my reflection in the window pane. I could see him watching me, his brows knitted and his arms folded.
“Dinner’s not going to cook itself,” he said, his tone joking but it got my back up.
My gaze fell on a small bottle by the coffee machine. Sleeping pills; Enzo often took a couple of them before bed and they knocked him out all night.
I placed the glass down, adrenaline sinking into my blood as I made a wild decision. Whatever strange illusion I was under with Rocco surely had to do with Stockholm Syndrome. This wasn’t me. I didn’t fall for Romeros. Especially one who had taken me against my will. Any notion I’d had about him caring for me was plain stupid. He’d only saved me from Guido because of some bullshit claim he thought he had over me. It was about his ego. I was his little victory against the Calabresis and he didn’t want me spoiled by his cousin.
I moved to the cupboards and took out what I needed for a bolognese before starting to prepare it. With every chop of my knife, the more angry I became. Rocco was playing me like an idiot. And I’d moved into the invisible net he’d weaved for me like a wounded animal looking for scraps. But I wasn’t going to fall for his lies any longer. And I wasn’t going to sit about waiting to be rescued by Nicoli either. I was going to damn well rescue myself.
“You’ll feel better if you just admit you like me instead of passive aggressively decapitating carrots,” Rocco said casually, pumping another wave of rage into me.
I shook my head, refusing to answer.
“If you didn’t get the message from my dick yet…I like you too.” His tone dropped an octave and my throat thickened at his words. I even stopped murdering carrots because I couldn’t help but react.
Lies, Sloan. He’s lying to get in your panties!
I turned to him, painting on a soft smile I hoped he bought. “You do?”
He nodded, his expression almost vulnerable for a second but I smelled bullshit. “Look at you, you’re…”
A trophy?
He bit down on his knuckles, releasing a groan and I tossed him a flirtatious smile before turning my back on him. My smile withered and died while I continued preparing his meal, wondering how I was going to get a moment alone to add the sleeping pills.
“My feet are frozen on this floor, I’ll just go get some socks,” I said after a while, taking a step toward the door. Rocco jumped up, falling straight into my trap.
“Keep cooking whatever smells so good, I’ll get you some. I need to get out of these wet clothes anyway.” He headed out of the room and I firmly ignored the fact he was doing something nice for me as I moved to Enzo’s sleeping pills and twisted off the cap. My hands began to shake and discomfort pricked my gut as I hurriedly poured them into a bowl and placed the bottle back where I’d found it.
I used the end of a rolling pin to crush them into a fine dust then held it above the sauce.
I hesitated a few seconds, anxiety slicing into me.
He’s my captor. A man who’s haunted me for years. He tried to kill me!
I poured the powder into the sauce, quickly stirring it in a moment before Rocco returned to the room in a pair of jeans, his chest bare. I made up a new batch of sauce for my own meal when he became distracted by his cellphone and soon served up two plates for dinner.
I placed his down with a knife and fork then sat on the stool beside him, tucking into my meal and trying to ignore the frantic racing of my heart.
Oh my god, should I have given him such a high dose?
Rocco lifted a forkful to his mouth, blowing on it so steam coiled up around him. He shot me a grin and I forced myself to smile back even though my insides were shredding like they were in a blender.
What if he can taste it?
What the hell will he do if he realises I’ve spiked his food??
He swallowed a mouthful and I held my breath as I waited for his response.
He smacked his lips dramatically, releasing a moan
. “Delicious.”
My shoulders dropped with relief.
He ate every last bite and I forced down the knot of guilt that had formed in my stomach. He blinked heavily, getting to his feet then swept me up into his arms.
“Rocco!” I gasped.
“Leave the washing up, let’s go watch some TV.” He smirked at me and I nodded, my heart twisting as he carried me through to the lounge and dropped down onto the couch, pulling me against his chest.
He turned the television on but before he chose something to watch, he was already passing out. His eyes fell closed and my heart hammered as I realised this was it. I’d never be this close to Rocco again. I had to leave this house and rip myself out of the snare he’d trapped me in. And not just physically, but mentally. He’d captured a piece of me and I needed to cut out that part of me and leave it here to fester.
“Goodbye,” I whispered, trying not to care as I brushed my fingers along his cheek.
He grunted in his sleep and I untangled myself from his arms, hurrying out of the room. I ran upstairs to his bedroom, pulling on thick layers of clothes and two pairs of socks. I found a small flashlight in a drawer then pulled on Rocco’s warmest coat, a hat and some gloves. I pushed my feet into the snow boots he’d given me and headed out of the room with determination fuelling my movements.
Adrenaline coursed through my veins as I ran back to the balcony that held the hot tub, slipping outside and moving to the edge where the drainpipe ran down the wall. I pulled off my gloves, stuffing them into my pockets as I mentally prepared for what I had to do.
Fear snaked its way through my body as I leaned over the balcony to gaze down at the drop.
Suck it up, Sloan.
I knocked the snow off of the railing then climbed onto it, my legs surprisingly sturdy as I reached out to take hold of the drainpipe.
With a deep breath, I braced my foot against the wall and pulled myself forward to hang onto the pipe. My fingers dug into the metal as I started shimmying down it, taking it one foot at a time.
I finally reached the bottom and dropped down into the thick layer of snow, wading up to the porch and racing across it. I headed down to the drive, following the snow-covered track that led off of the property.
Beautiful Carnage: A Dark Mafia Bully Romance (The Boys of Sinners Bay Book 1) Page 20
