“Don’t do this,” I pleaded.
The world was too quiet, too still. Like it was holding its breath for me, waiting to see what would happen next. I always thought death would be loud, roaring, but this painful silence was worse. I could hear every thump of my heart, counting down the final beats it would take.
Father yanked me toward the wall, lifting me up and planting me on it beside the rock. I gazed down at the dizzying height below and a scream tore form my lungs as I tried to fight against the rope binding my arms. Birds burst from the trees, climbing toward the sky and I wished they could take me with them.
A car engine blared and hope bloomed as I spotted a silver Audi racing onto the road at the far end of the bridge.
The engine died and my heart juddered as Nicoli jumped out.
“Giuseppe!” he cried in rage. “Stop!”
Another engine caught my ear and I leaned back as I teetered on the edge, my father’s hands suddenly leaving me. Maybe he’d calm down, maybe he’d listen to Nicoli. He’d always cared about him more than me.
I caught sight of a Volvo in my periphery, crashing into the back of Papa’s Mercedes. A ragged breath of surprise fell from my lungs as Rocco climbed out of the narrow sunroof, his eyes locking on me with a fierce determination. He leapt on top of Papa’s car, tearing towards me, his mouth forming my name as sheer terror filled his eyes.
Papa shoved the rock over the edge of the bridge and I had one second of utter panic before I was yanked forwards after it.
I plummeted towards the black water with a scream that echoed on into eternity.
Maybe Mamma had been right, maybe death was the only freedom life gave us. Maybe this was the key to the cage I’d been held in my entire life. But I didn’t want that. I wanted a life with Rocco, our baby. Nothing sounded more free than that.
My lungs swelled with their final breath.
I crashed into the river, losing all sense of everything as I was yanked towards the bottom, the water so cold it burned.
I cursed the unfairness of the world as my heart pounded out its final tune. And I said one last apology to the child I couldn’t save.
My heart stopped beating, the world stopped turning and everything that had ever happened to me in this lifetime suddenly seemed to have all been for this one reason.
Sloan needed me.
A roar of pure rage and pain left me, shattering my soul and begging for redemption. This wasn’t happening.
I won’t let it happen.
I leapt from the hood of Giuseppe’s car straight towards the water’s edge, running as fast as I could before leaping off of the bridge and diving straight down after her.
I hit the surface hard and plunged beneath it, heading down, down, down, chasing after the one good thing I’d ever tried to claim in this miserable life of mine.
I won’t let you die like this. It doesn’t end like this!
The ice cold kiss of the water reached right down into my bones and I instantly felt the pull of the current trying to force me away from her.
I started swimming, my muscles powering me on towards the point where I’d seen her go down.
It was dark beneath the water. Too dark to even see my hand before my face, let alone the girl who held my heart in her hands.
Panic welled up inside me as I swam on and on, my arms sweeping back and forth, my heart beating a desperate, panicked rhythm as I hunted and hunted for her beneath the surface.
She couldn’t be gone. I refused to believe it. There wasn’t a world without her in it. Her and our baby. A little life that had sparked into existence amidst the darkest of circumstances. A child which was both Calabresi and Romero, bridging the impossible divide between our families. A life which had barely even begun and which I refused to let end here and now.
I kicked and kicked, desperation clawing at me as my lungs began to burn.
She wasn’t going to die like this. Not here, in the dark and the cold, all alone. She was counting on me. She needed me. This wouldn’t be the end of us. There would never be an end of us.
I kept hunting in the blackness, the cold pressing in and stealing my thoughts.
My eyes were wide and my lungs were burning with the strength of hell fire for a breath I desperately needed to take. But if I was in this much need of oxygen, then so was she.
And I wouldn’t let her drown down here at the bottom of this fucking river. I wouldn’t let her suffer in darkness for all of time.
If it took my life to save hers then I’d offer it willingly. What was one tarnished, blackened soul worth in payment for hers anyway? She’d never been free a day in her life. I’d stolen her from her gilded cage and wrapped her in chains of barbed wire. And though she might have come closer to freedom alongside my chaos, we both knew it hadn’t been so.
She deserved a free life. Our baby deserved a free life.
And if there was a single thing that I could gift her in payment for all the wrongdoing in my rotten existence, then that would be it.
Please don’t take her from this world.
Please don’t take her from me.
“What are you doing here, Nicoli?” Giuseppe asked coldly, training his pistol on me and freezing me in place.
I knew him well enough to recognise that look in his eyes. He’d pull the trigger without a second thought. Which cut me right down to my soul. This had been the man I’d looked up to, respected, emulated. I’d worked tirelessly to please him, hoping that he might look upon me like a son the way I looked at him as a father.
But that wasn’t the truth of our relationship. My whole life had just been some sick game to him. I was his little Romero pet. A beast he’d chained with years of carefully planned manipulation. But I was still a beast all the same.
“I spoke with Royce before he died,” I said, my voice strong and hard as I looked into his eyes, willing him to show me some ounce of truth. To give me some indication that not all of it had been a lie. That on some level I’d been more to him than a piece on a playing board.
“I should have killed that traitor years ago. Don’t tell me you bought into his lies?” Giuseppe snarled.
My gaze moved to the water far below us where he’d just thrown his own daughter to her death. Rocco hadn’t surfaced. He hadn’t found her and my heart thundered a panicked tune for them.
“Why would you kill her?” I demanded, my voice breaking. “She was your daughter. Your blood. She was supposed to be my wife-”
“My daughter died the day she was taken by my enemies. She spread her legs for them like a common whore and she got a death which was kinder than she deserved,” he spat, no ounce of remorse in his gaze.
“But you were willing for her to spread her legs for me,” I growled. “And Romero blood runs through my veins too. Doesn’t it?”
“He told you then.” Giuseppe sighed like I had disappointed him. “Then all my hard work with you has been for nothing. I re-built you into a Calabresi. But I suppose dirty blood will out.”
His finger twitched on the trigger and I lunged forward just as he fired.
The sound of that gunshot ricocheted through the night, through my body and through my soul. It tore away everything I’d thought I was, stripped apart everything I’d built myself up to be. I was the shadow of two men and the total of none.
I wasn’t Angelo Romero anymore. And Nicoli Vitoli had never really existed at all.
I collided with him as pain unlike anything I’d ever known ripped through my chest.
I was bleeding. Blood pumping from my body and agony tearing me apart. But the physical pain I endured had nothing on the war going on in my heart.
My hands locked around his throat as we hit the ground hard and the gun skittered away from us. Giuseppe cried out as I slammed his head back against the concrete, my jaw locked and fury fuelling my muscles.
He fought to buck me off of him as I tightened my grip.
Giuseppe’s eyes were wild with accusation and fear as I snarl
ed at him, my blood coating both of us but my strength never wavering.
If it took all I had left in me to rid the world of this parasite, then I would do it.
For the mother he’d murdered. The brothers I’d never known. For the girl he’d thrown to her death.
His hands clawed at my arms as he bucked and thrashed, his eyes bulging as I continued to squeeze.
This creature had stolen my life from me. And I was going to take his in payment.
I snarled with a rage so pure and raw that it cut me right down to my bones. With a surge of strength, I grabbed his chin and twisted hard. The snap that rang out was so loud that all other sounds fell silent to observe it.
Giuseppe fell still beneath me and his death was like a balm soothing my aching soul.
My world shattered into a thousand pieces and I slumped back as the pain of my bullet wound consumed me.
I crawled away from his body, moving to the edge of the bridge and peering down over the low wall which lined it into the murky water below.
Blood continued to pulse from my stomach and I pressed a hand to it as I watched the river without drawing breath. There was still no sign of them.
My heart beat faster at the thought that we’d been too late. And as the minutes dragged on, I began to lose hope.
My heart ached at the idea of coming so close only to have failed. If Sloan died then it had all been for nothing. And if Rocco died then he would leave me before I ever had the chance to tell him who I truly was. Who he was to me.
Pain flared through my stomach and my heart as I watched the water anxiously and my hope faded alongside my energy. Had we all come this far just to die here?
Was this all it came to in the end?
My lungs burned for a breath I refused to take. My body pulsed with hunger for the oxygen waiting above me at the surface. But I wouldn’t swim for it. I wouldn’t leave this frozen coffin unless I brought Sloan and our baby back up with me.
If fate had decided to take her from me then I wouldn’t live on without her. We would leave this river together or not at all.
Darkness reigned beneath the water, but pinpricks of light glimmered on the edges of my vision.
I was running out of time.
I blew out the breath I’d been holding and bubbles trailed away from me toward the safety of the surface.
My heart was pounding, breaking, failing.
I won’t live without you, bella. Death would be a sweeter curse.
My movements were losing energy, my limbs growing endlessly heavy.
But I wouldn’t give up until my body failed on me.
I kicked forward again and my fingers suddenly brushed against a hand.
My heart leapt as I kicked harder, my eyes straining to make out anything in the gloom and suddenly I saw her.
Her eyes were closed, her head bobbing in the current as she floated, weighed down by the rope which bound her to that stone.
A roar of rage left me, swallowed by the water as I clawed my way down to the rock which lay on the river bed.
My muscles flared with a desperate kind of strength as I ripped at the rope until I yanked it free of the enormous stone.
I grabbed her a heartbeat later, kicking and kicking as I headed for the surface which shone with the light of the moon endlessly high above us.
My vision faded further, my body slowing despite my need for it to speed up. But I wouldn’t give in. I wouldn’t fail her now. Not when she needed me most. When they both needed me most.
My head finally breached the surface and I gulped down air with desperation as I drew her head up above the water too.
She lay unmoving in my arms, her head lolling back against my shoulder and no breath passing her lips.
“No!” I roared. Not in denial but in refusal. She wasn’t leaving me. She couldn’t. I wouldn’t allow it. I’d claimed her for my own and I refused to give her up.
I swam for the rocky shore, dragging her out of the river and slamming my hand down on her back as I tried to force the water up out of her lungs. Some came up but she wasn’t coughing, wasn’t helping me at all.
Pain flooded my body as I flipped her around and started chest compressions.
My lips met hers in the coldest kiss we’d ever shared as I forced air into her lungs.
Nothing.
Not a flicker of reaction.
But I wouldn’t give up.
I kept pumping her chest, breathing for her time and again despite the fact that she still wasn’t moving.
“Sloan,” I gasped. “Don’t leave me. Not like this, baby. Not like this.”
I kept going. I’d die before I stopped. But as the minutes slipped by and grief fractured my soul into a million unrecognisable pieces, I began to lose hope.
It wasn’t working.
She’d left me here alone.
And there was nothing in this world or the next that could ever right that wrong.
The whole world was pain.
An agony so intense that there was nothing else. I was dying. I knew it. Nothing could hurt like this unless it was going to end in death.
I wanted to fight, but I had nothing left in me to fight with. My limbs were robbed of strength and I was drowning in an endless sea of darkness.
I thought of Rocco and the passion with which he loved me. Of Royce and the way he’d tried to do right by me. Then of my mother and her gentle smile, her warm hugs and musical laugh.
“Sloan! You passed out!” Someone was shaking me and I groaned as I came to. “You’ve gotta push, bella! You’ve gotta push, you’re almost there, the baby is almost here!”
The lights were too bright and the pain washed back over me again in a wave.
“I can’t,” I groaned as Rocco clutched my hand.
He leaned across me, cupping my cheek and taking away that horrible bright light. My knight, my shade. “You can do anything, guerriera. You’re my warrior, remember?”
I nodded, dragging in a breath as the midwife commanded I push once more. My nails tore into Rocco’s hand as I used every ounce of strength in my body to bring this baby into the world. Our child. Our missing piece.
A scream left my lips unlike anything I’d ever heard and suddenly the pain fell away to be replaced by the most overwhelming sense of relief.
“Congratulations,” the midwife said as I slumped back onto the pillow. “You have a baby girl.”
Her cries filled my ears and I sobbed as she was placed on my chest. She was too beautiful for words. And so fragile. I wanted to wrap her up and keep her safe forever. But not in chains. This little girl would never be confined, controlled or owned.
Rocco leaned in to kiss her head, despite the blood, the mess, he didn’t care. My heart couldn’t contain the amount of love trying to live in it. It was surely going to burst.
“I can’t wait to tell you all about how your mother and I met,” Rocco whispered to her and an exhausted laugh fell from my lips.
“Do you have a name yet?” the midwife asked, beaming at us.
I shared a look with Rocco, a smile tugging at my mouth.
“She’s named after the place where she was saved by her valiant father,” I said.
It was still one of the darkest days of my life, but this little light had shone through, growing brighter and brighter until this very moment. Rocco had pulled me from the depths of the water and my father’s body had taken my place amongst the reeds. It was twisted and beautiful and us. “River.”
“River Romero,” Rocco breathed, leaning in to press his mouth to mine. “I have a feeling she’s going to be as much trouble as you are, mia principessa.”
We’d been married the day after I’d been released from the hospital. I’d narrowly avoided hypothermia from my dunk in the river and the doctors said if Rocco had gotten me out any later, I wouldn’t have made it.
The ceremony was just us, Coco and his brothers in a tiny church on the water’s edge. As the sun had set, we’d sworn to belong to each
other. My manic, savage, wonderful husband had made me his as soon as he could. And I would be his, free of chains, freer than a bird in the sky, for all of time.
THREE MONTHS LATER
My phone rang and I snatched it from the nightstand before hurrying out onto the balcony to answer it so that I didn’t disturb Sloan. She lost enough sleep these days without me adding to it more than necessary. I’d been surprised when Sloan had wanted to make this place our home after I’d held her captive here. But she said it was the place that had set her free and brought us together, so she loved it for those reasons.
Papa had been furious when I’d first told him about me and Sloan, but I’d told him straight that I wasn’t going to change my mind in this. And as soon as River had come along, it was like he’d forgotten all about Sloan’s Calabresi heritage. He’d never had a girl and the hard man he’d been for my entire life seemed to melt away when he was with her and I caught glimpses of the man he’d been while my mother was alive.
“How’s my favourite girl?” Frankie’s voice came on the other end of the line and I smirked as I looked out over the view of the mountains. My brothers were almost as obsessed with River as I was.
“I’m not too bad, thanks. Just been painting my nails and day dreaming about boys. You know, the usual,” I replied.
“So long as River isn’t getting any ideas about boys, I don’t care what you get up to,” he joked.
I snorted a laugh. “She’s three months old. The girl is only daydreaming about milk. But when boys come onto the scene, you and Enzo can help me chase them off.”
“Already on it,” he agreed. “I saw a one year old giving her the eye in the park the other day and I chased him right back to his mamma.”
My grin widened for a moment but as silence fell between us, I knew he wasn’t calling with good news.
“You still haven’t got any leads?” I guessed.
“No,” Frankie sighed. “We thought we were on his trail, but it’s looking like another dead end.”
Beautiful Carnage: A Dark Mafia Bully Romance (The Boys of Sinners Bay Book 1) Page 35
