by Jillian Neal
Drawn to her with undeniable magnetism, he took another step, lessening the slight distance between them. “What on earth have you ever done that you regret?” Gently, he brushed a stray blonde hair away from her beautiful face. “You’re too sweet and too smart to have ever done anything wrong.”
“That’s not true.” She stared down at the floor and refused to meet his eyes.
He lifted her chin tenderly with his powerful right hand. The feel of her soft, silky skin ignited his entire body, but he needed her to tell him more. “Then tell me what you regret. Believe me, whatever it is it doesn’t come close to the lengthy list of shit I’ve pulled.”
“I think I mostly regret not doing things. There’s a lot of stuff I wish I’d done that I haven’t ever done.”
“What kinds of stuff?”
“I don’t know … everything.” She shrugged.
“You’re really nailing the specifics tonight, Hope. Come on. It’s me. Just talk.”
“I just feel like I’m almost twenty-six years old, and I’ve never really done anything. I never had any fun … ever. My aunt ruled my entire life. I got good grades in school because I was supposed to. I never went to parties because I wasn’t supposed to. I didn’t go to games because I was studying. I read because that was safe, but pretending to live vicariously through someone else isn’t a life. I missed out on everything, and I just sometimes wish I’d lost the goody two-shoes thing and at some point in my life had done something exciting. I wish I could experience things.”
Well, damn. Brock nodded as he sorted through that lengthy confession. “Okay, so I don’t think I can resurrect prom or an old football game for you, but why can’t we do whatever it is you feel like you missed out on? Let’s do those things now.”
It didn’t appear that she’d even heard him. Her pent up feelings continued to spew forth without end.
“And you! You’re Brock Camden, and I know you hate it when someone brings this up, and I swear I never will again, but you were so cool. The greatest receiver Wellsley High ever had. Star athlete. Only high school junior to ever pitch a no-hitter. You went to parties. You didn’t always have your head stuck in a book. You did stuff then, and you still do stuff. You go out with Matt and you have fun. You go rafting, and camping, and surfing. You hike cool places and see the world. You lived in Nebraska, and rode horses, and fed cows, and worked an entire ranch, and killed rattlesnakes. You aren’t afraid of anything. And I … I sit at home, and read, and play Candy Crush, and that’s it.”
Oh, my God, Hope! You did not seriously just say that to him. You know what he had to go through to have those things. How could you be this insensitive? Her mind raced. She was just as incapable of making sense of anything as she was of not feeling sorry for herself. She was being ridiculous, and she hated herself for it. Just stop talking, now!
“Look at me, Hope. None of that is true. I was those things. I was some stupid high school football receiver, and I can throw a baseball, but who cares now? No one. You’re brilliant, and beautiful, and sweet, and kind. You opened this store. You took care of Skye. You’re amazing. What do you mean you haven’t done anything? Those seem like huge things to me.”
“Maybe.” She shrugged and blinked back tears. Stop crying you big baby, and do this. “But there are a lot of things I really wish I could do.”
“Do you know the one and only thing about high school that I don’t regret?” He moved closer again and stared her down. She shook her head. “I hated every single thing about those four years; everything except being friends with you.”
“What? Why? I mean, I know your dad was awful, but you did accomplish amazing things.”
“Yeah, well, there’s a lot of stuff you don’t know, Hope. It’s not just my asshole of a father. Most everything about that Brock Camden, the star receiver, the ridiculous fucking behind the back catch that won the championship, the no-hitter, was just stupid. You’re the only real thing in my life, Hope. So, if there’s something else you’re trying to tell me, please just say it.”
“None of that was fake, Brock. Why are you saying that?” Unable to stand the tension she felt churning in her gut any longer, she spun to the side to escape his pensive stare. She could feel him watching her every move as she pulled three books off of a nearby shelf.
Brock fought not to panic. Why was she holding up books? There were glistening, half-naked guys on the covers, so reading the titles wasn’t necessary to tell him what was probably written on those pages. He tried to relax.
“Do you see these, or any of the books on this shelf? I’ve read most of them, but I’ve never done anything that’s in them.”
His brow furrowed, but she wasn’t telling him what he thought she was telling him, was she? “You’ve had sex before, Hope.” He fought not to gag. “You let that asshole, Brad what’s-his-face that you dated a few years ago, sleep with you. I remember.” He remembered because he’d been furious for weeks.
Her nostrils flared and her entire face glowed crimson. The heat scorched red trails down her neck. They disappeared under the shirt she was wearing. “Kind of.” Her chin trembled, and he couldn’t stand it. “But not really the kind I want to have.”
Making it to her in three long strides, he took the books from her hands, wrapped her up in his arms, and guided her head to his chest again. “How do you kind of have sex, sweetie? What happened? What kind do you want to have?”
She shook her head against his chest and began sniffling. He felt her body shiver in his arms. He stepped back and studied her face. Wiping away the few tears she allowed to escape with his thumbs, he debated his next move. Every fiber of his being wanted and needed to help her. He didn’t want her to be embarrassed with him, ever.
“Uh, okay how about this: A. He came in his shorts like a green kid? B. He didn’t warm you up? C. He hurt you? If that’s the case, I’ll find the guy and we’ll exchange more than words. D. He couldn’t get you off? Whatever it was, please just tell me.”
“Uh … let’s see here. B through D, and not in his shorts, but almost.”
“God, Hope, he left you hurt and longing? I’ll kill him.”
He watched her try to regain a little calm. “I don’t want you to kill him, Brock.” Finally, she stared him down and swallowed harshly. “I want you to show me what it’s supposed to be like. The first time Brad and I did it, it was horrible. I was sure the next time would be better, but it was over just as quickly. A week later, I went to his apartment, and when I got undressed he asked me if I was just bloated or if I’d put on weight. I left. So, I still don’t know anything, and I refused to ever see him again.”
Immediately deciding that he sure as hell would find the asshole and let him know exactly what he thought of the way he’d treated Hope, he knew that showing her what sex was supposed to be like would come first. “Why didn’t you just tell me, Hope?”
“Well, what was I supposed to do? Wait until you were microwaving more popcorn between Total Recall and Sweet Home Alabama and say, ‘Hey, Brock, by the way, I’ve never had an orgasm, and I really wish you’d take care of that for me. In fact, there are a lot of things I wish I could do with you. Would you mind dating me for a little while?’” She collapsed back against his chest. It felt amazing to have her in his arms. Every fiber of his being wanted and needed to protect her and let her hide from the world in him.
Brock wanted to immediately agree to take care of that for her, but his mind was reeling from the idea of making Hope come all for him. Tenderly, he caressed the nape of her neck and rubbed his other hand up and down her back. Her extended confession sent lightning bolts of elation through him that quelled a little of his earlier anger at Brad.
“Look at me.”
Her head lifted hesitantly as if she was about to be rebuked. He cradled her face in his hands and leaned in, giving up the war he’d been waging for ten long years.
Oh God. Hope had spent most of her adolescence imagining kissing Brock Camden, and this
was better than anything her imagination could have conjured. His lips were soft but demanding. His substantial hands drew her closer. Their bodies collided as he turned his head and extended the kiss. His right hand threaded in her baby-fine hair, and a slight moan shivered from her throat. She hadn’t meant for it to escape, but Brock responded heatedly. His grip strengthened and his tongue tangled with hers.
Every part of his body pressed hard against her. It ratcheted up her need exponentially. She pulled him closer still, frantic for more.
His kisses were a tender, scorching brand that claimed ownership of her. The bristle of his five o’clock shadow abraded her chin in a delectable friction that elicited another gasped moan. He brushed his lips along the slight burn for a moment, kissing away the exquisite pain before moving back to continue his consumption of her lips.
When his left hand cupped her ass and made certain she felt every hardened plane of him, she assumed she was dreaming. She melted into him as he dipped his tongue in her mouth again, as if he simply couldn’t taste enough of her. This time he drew her tongue into his mouth and began to suck, and she noted yet another problem with thongs. Liquid heat soaked them thoroughly, and it was going to be visible if she didn’t stop him. But in that moment she wasn’t certain she cared.
Oh, hell yeah. Brock all but growled like a wild animal in her mouth. He’d thought about kissing her a hundred times, and this was better than every fantasy. He’d show her every single thing he knew about how to please a woman. He’d make her beg for him and then sate her body completely. He’d indulge her every wicked fantasy, slowly and thoroughly, but he needed more information before they began.
His left hand traveled up from her pert little ass, and he allowed himself one quick brush along the side of her breast. He could feel her nipples rise in anticipation against his chest, hopeful for his attention. Oh, he sure as hell was going to indulge those, too. Her gasped whimper shot pure lust to his straining cock, but he would not take her tonight. Get it together, Camden.
He pulled back, gasping for breath.
Hesitantly, her eyes blinked open. That sexy little dazed look of adulation made him grin.
“Wow,” she whispered.
“I’ve wanted to do that for like ten damn years.”
“You … you have?” Suddenly she looked thoroughly confused. Brock felt his grin expand. “Why didn’t you?”
“Someday you’re going to realize how far out of my league you are, Hope, but if what you’re trying to tell me is that you want to do a little sexual exploration with me, then I’m on board.”
“I’m not out of your league. I never have been. I’m just a stupid bookworm.”
“Stop it!” A flash fire of rage roiled in his gut. She wasn’t stupid. He knew how mortifying that word could be. He would never allow her to use it when discussing herself. “Nothing about you is stupid. Never say that again, do you understand me?”
Confusion clouded her eyes as she managed a nod. “So, I’m not sure I understand all of this. I can’t think of anything but how badly I want you to kiss me like that again. What does this mean?”
Chuckling, Brock let his fingers gently caressed her cheek again. He had to do this right and keep everything in order. He wouldn’t lose her when this portion of their relationship was over.
“It means you tell me what you want to know and the things you want to experience, whether in bed or anywhere else, and we figure out how to let you experience all of them. Then you look me in the eye, hook your pinky with mine, and swear to me that when this whole exploring thing is over we can go back to being friends. I won’t lose you, Hope, but you’re not going to want me around for long.”
“That isn’t true, but okay. I swear.” She linked her pinky with his just like they’d done in school.
“All right, so besides what you want to learn in my bed.” His cock continued to prod at his zipper, very anxious to get on with her lessons. He tried to adjust it quickly before continuing. Her giggle let him know he hadn’t quite succeeded in keeping that information to himself. He winked at her. “You’ve had that effect on me since I was fifteen, but besides all of that, what specifically are you’re so convinced you should have done by now? You told me last night you wanted to go camping with me. That still true?”
“Definitely. I want to try everything.”
Brock was fairly certain his version of everything would be quite different than her version, but he dropped his clasped hands to cover the effect the thought of that was having. It seemed he was going to be hard-up most of the evening. He’d deal.
“I want to go camping. I want to hike somewhere beautiful, a waterfall or something. I’ve never seen one. I want to leave this tiny town. I’ve never been further than Piney Green, and that was a big deal to my aunt. I want to go skinny dipping, and learn to give a guy a blowjob, or to give you one, I guess.” Her entire face glowed crimson and Brock suddenly couldn’t breathe. The image of her lips wrapped around his cock rendered him completely mindless. His entire body was suddenly hotwired and surging with craving desire. Thoughts of someone else being on the receiving end of her explorations drowned the desire with possessiveness. No, he was doing this, every single thing she’d just listed off and then some.
“I want to learn what I’m supposed to do when you kiss me like that. That made me feel amazing, but that’s the longest kiss I’ve ever had.
“ I’ve never been to a concert or dancing at a club. I’ve never been surfing or out on a boat because my aunt always thought all of that was dangerous. I’ve never made out on the beach, or in a movie theater, or, you know … done anything at all out in public. I want to have wild, dirty sex. I’m sick of pretending that I know what Sophie is talking about or trying to imagine what it would feel like when the couples in those books do sexy things. And I want to go to a football game and watch the game and you explain to me what’s happening. I swear I won’t talk about when you played, but the only time I ever got to see you play was from the concession stand when Beta Club was selling hot dogs and giant pickles that looked really gross. I want to live. I’m so sick of always being afraid of trying anything new.”
That confession half-shook Brock’s mind out of the head below his belt and made him smile. He was fairly certain the phrase, ‘I want to have wild, dirty sex,’ would remain lodged in his memory bank forever. God, she was adorable and sweet and sexy -- and for the next few weeks, maybe a month or two, his. How was he going to get to be the one to show her all of that? It seemed too good to be true. He couldn’t possibly deserve something so close to his own personal version of heaven.
“I’m walking on a ragged edge here, Hope. You’re sure this is what you want? You want to do all of that with me?”
“Yes, please. I don’t trust anyone like I trust you, Brock. You’re my best friend.”
“Fine, then we’re doing this. I’m taking care of everything, and I’m not doing a one-time deal thing. We’re dating, so get ready. You want to experience things, I sure as hell will take care of every single thing you want to try, but it’s me and no one else.”
“Okay, so this is some kind of weird dream, right?” She seemed just as uncertain of their reality as he was. Grinning at her, he leaned, lifted her up into his arms, and carried her to the front counter, where he set her down.
“I was just wondering the same thing. How about your first lesson?”
Her eyes goggled, but she managed some semblance of a nod. Her chest lifted and fell against his in rapid pants.
“Put your arms around my neck, sweetie.” Her immediate compliance made him throb as he spread her legs around his waist and leaned in.
Hope felt his heated breath caress her lips just before he mated their mouths again. This kiss was reckless and desperate. It came in a hungry rush, as if he was somehow pleased with their agreement and couldn’t wait to begin. He captured another heated moan from her mouth. His lips tasted like liquid sin and melted away more of her inhibitions and embarras
sment.
When he released her lips, he worked his mouth and tongue to her neck. A racked gasp of breath choked from her as he grazed nibbled kisses along her collarbone.
“You like that, don’t you, sugar?”
A half nod was the only response she felt capable of.
“We’ll work on you telling me what you like later, but for right now, when I kiss you like that, what does your body want to do? Feel, Hope. Don’t think for just a minute for me.”
Giving into the persuasive power of his lips and the craving gravel of his voice, she rocked her hips upwards, desperate to feel the strength of his erection against her mound. Another voracious moan thundered from his lungs. She’d somehow made him do that. It was intoxicating.
“That’s it. Makes you want to feel how hard I’m hung for you, doesn’t it? You feel that? It’s all for you. Now keep going. Keep going until we’re both desperate for more.”
With no more encouragement needed, she rocked against him back and forth, feeling the power of his cock, still covered in denim, rake through her as he grasped her backside and guided her body in rhythm, showing her how to grind against him.
His eyes closed, and his body tensed as she moved. He gave a half thrust against her, and Hope moaned her heated approval. He leaned in for another kiss, nipped her bottom lip, and sucked away the slight pain before moving his mouth to her ear.
“Do you feel yourself getting wet for me, darlin’? Does it make you want more?”
“Oh, God, yes.” The truth fell from her lips without shame.
“That’s it.” This time his lips traveled down her jaw and landed in the hollow between her shoulder and neck.
“Brock,” she panted out his name. “Are we gonna do it tonight? Here?”
With one more long, torturous tease of his hungry lips along the quivering nerve endings near her throat, he lifted his head and chuckled just before he brushed another kiss on her forehead. “Not gonna lie. I like you anxious and greedy. You’re driving me wild, Hope.”
