by L A Cotton
Poppy shot me a knowing look and I shook my head. Now was not the time to fess up that she’d found the article online and the truth behind what had happened with Kaiden’s dad.
The party dragged on. After Kaiden left, I couldn’t shake the dread balled in my stomach. I spent the night burrowed into Ashleigh or Poppy’s side, wishing I could leave. Everything was too noisy and busy. The adults got louder, laughing at their own jokes and patting themselves on the back for their achievements and successes over the years. Then Mr. Monroe ushered the crowd into silence.
“Friends, family, and donors. On behalf of the Rixon Raider booster fund,” he said, “thank you for joining us here tonight to celebrate what I’m sure will be another successful season of football.”
Applause exploded all around me, and I shrank into my hoodie. The familiar tingle broke over my scalp, my heart racing in my chest. I focused on my breathing, trying to calm down. I was safe here, amongst family and friends.
Poppy glanced at me and smiled. “Okay?” she mouthed, and I pressed my lips together, nodding.
I would be, as soon as we got home, and I could retreat to my bedroom.
“Now a few words from the man of the hour, Coach Jason Ford.”
“Thanks, Jack.” He shook Mr. Monroe’s hand.
“Thank you all for coming tonight and showing your support for the team. I know some of you have concerns over recent events and the assimilation of some of Rixon East’s players into the team, but I want to personally reassure you that I will always do what is best for my team. And we will do everything to make sure we bring home that championship this season.”
Everyone applauded again, the noise rattling my bones. I was proud of my dad, but sometimes I couldn’t understand the level of worship bestowed upon him. But that was Rixon. A town where football meant more than life itself.
Dad thanked everyone for coming and promptly gave the spotlight back to Mr. Monroe who proceeded to blow smoke up his son’s ass for the next ten minutes. Jenson was good, but he wasn’t great. Not like my dad had been back in the day. Jenson’s dad was a friend of the team though, and a big donor. If he wanted his son to get game time, he probably had enough pull to make it happen. My dad was a fair man, I knew that. But I couldn’t help thinking that where Kaiden was concerned, he was being swayed by his history with Kaiden’s dad, and Mr. Monroe’s intimate relationship with the team.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Ashleigh asked me.
“Is it bad if I say I want to go home?”
“Lil, it’s still early.” She pouted.
“I know, but it’s just a lot.” My eyes flickered to the ground. When I met her gaze again, she frowned.
“You really want to leave?” I nodded. “Come on. I’ll give you a ride. We should probably tell your mom and dad first.” She grabbed my hand and led me over to them.
“Hey, I’m going to give Lily a ride home. She isn’t feeling so good.”
“Oh no, sweetheart.” Mom pressed her hand against my forehead. “What’s the matter?”
“I’m just tired.”
Her eyes narrowed. “I’m not sure I like the idea of you home alone.”
“Mom, I’m almost eighteen.”
“I know, but you’ll always be my baby. Do you want me to come with—”
“No, Mom. You stay. Enjoy the party. I’ll be fine, okay?”
She glanced at Dad who was frowning. But his expression softened after a second. “Go straight home. Lock the door and set the security system. If you need anything, you call me, okay?”
“Dad,” I chuckled, but it came out strained. “I’ve been home alone before.”
“So you know the routine. Promise me, Lil.”
“I promise.”
“Okay, drive safe,” he said to Ashleigh.
“Sure thing, Uncle Jase.”
“What have I told you about calling me that, Ash the second?” He smirked. It was a standing joke between them. He hated Ashleigh calling him uncle and she hated being called Ash, since it was Sofia and Aaron’s dad’s name.
She poked her tongue out at him, and everyone laughed.
“Go on, get out of here.”
“I’ll be back,” Ashleigh said.
“Okay, sweetheart,” Aunt Hailee said. “We’ll see you soon, Lily.” She smiled and it settled something inside me. I loved my Dad’s stepsister, something fierce. She had such a calming disposition. Unlike my mom and dad who got super overprotective and invested in everything I said or did. After years of watching me retreat into myself and struggle with trich and anxiety it wasn’t easy for them to let go, but it was a lot.
We said goodbye to everyone and made our way out of the bar.
“Want to tell me what’s really going on?”
“Nothing’s going on. I just needed some air.”
“Why do I feel like you’re not being entirely honest with me?”
I let out a small breath. “It’s just a lot, Leigh. Senior year. College…” The fact I have my first crush on a guy who just happens to be the son of a guy my dad hates.
“Is this about Kaiden?” she asked once we were inside her car. “Because you know, you’ve seemed distracted since the party.”
“We kissed.” Admitting it felt like a betrayal, but it was Ashleigh, my best friend. My family.
“Lily May Ford! Why didn’t you say anything before?”
“Because I was confused. I’m still confused. And he’s Kaiden Thatcher and I’m Lily Ford. We might as well be Romeo and Juliet.” I let out a muted groan, dropping my head against the headrest as Ashleigh joined the flow of Friday night traffic.
“Yeah, you have a point.”
“I guess it just feels cruel. I thought we’d had this amazing connection… but what do I know about boys?”
“Hey, don’t do that. Don’t sell yourself short. You’ll find someone, Lil. One day the right guy will come along and sweep you off your feet and everything will just click into place.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“No maybe about it. You’re one of the best people I know, Lily May Ford.”
“You have to say that because we’re best friends.”
“And family, which means I also have license to tell you like it is.” She grinned, taking the turn for my house.
“What’s it like?” I whispered.
“What’s what like?”
“Sex.” The word got stuck over the lump in my throat.
“Oh, it’s… great, with the right person.”
“I can’t imagine ever wanting to be that close to someone.” The thought alone weirded me out. But I’d wanted Kaiden close. I liked the way he’d held me, kissed me.
“Because you haven’t found the right person yet.”
“Do you regret giving it up to Matt?” Matt was a guy in our class. He was nice enough. Ashleigh had hooked up with him at a few parties last spring, and then at junior prom they’d gone back to his house and done it.
“I don’t regret doing it, but part of me wishes I’d waited for the right guy.”
“Like Ezra?” My brow arched.
“Oh, shut up. It’s not like that with me and E. You know that.”
“But it could be…”
“He doesn’t see me like that, Lil.”
Sadness crept into her expression, and as she pulled up to my house, I realized that perhaps I wasn’t the only one pining after a guy who didn’t want me back.
Chapter Twelve
Kaiden
“Lew, is that you?” Mom’s voice filtered down the hall. “Kaiden? What happened?”
“Ask him.” I stormed past Dad toward the kitchen.
“Oh no, Lew, what did you do?”
“Me?” He barked. “I didn’t do nothing. It’s that has-been Ford, throwing his weight around, thinking he can bench Kaiden.”
“Lewis, I told you not to go down there.”
At least Mom had the decency to sound disappointed. But if it wasn’t for her, none of th
is would have happened. Because he wouldn’t have known. At least until game day rolled around.
“I need a drink,” he grumbled, entering the kitchen. “What?” His eyes narrowed to thin slits as he watched me.
“You just couldn’t help yourself, could you?” I seethed.
“What the hell did you just say to me?”
“You heard me.” My fist clenched against the counter. “I needed you to do one thing for me this season. I needed you to stay the hell away from Rixon. But no, you couldn’t even—”
“Watch it, boy.” Anger simmered in his eyes, but I wasn’t scared of him. Not anymore.
“Or what? You’ll hit me? I’m not a kid now. Hit me and you might not like the outcome.”
“Kaiden.” Mom gasped, covering a hand over her mouth.
“Don’t tell me you’re going to side with this asshole? This is my senior year, Mom. The most important season of my football career and he charged in there tonight all guns blazing all because Coach Ford actually made something of his life. Unlike you.” I glared at him, pure rage surging through me like wildfire, burning me inside out.
“Kaiden, please,” Mom implored. This was what she did, played peacekeeper. But I was so over his bullshit.
“You think just because you’re eighteen you can say and do what you want, Son? This is my house. I pay the bills, I put food on the fucking table, so until otherwise, I suggest you show some goddamn respect.” His fist slammed down on the counter making the fruit bowl clatter.
“Tina, hand me the whiskey.”
“Lew, don’t you think—”
“I said hand me the fucking whiskey, woman.”
Mom leaped into action, hurrying over to the liquor cabinet and locating the whiskey. She grabbed a glass and poured him a healthy measure.
“Shoulda gone to Millington,” he murmured, knocking back his drink in one.
Mom caught my eye, offering me an apologetic look. But this wasn’t a smile-will-fix-it kind of scenario. Dad had embarrassed me in front of the entire team, not to mention Coach. He had single-handedly fed into every one of the preconceived judgments they had about me and my father.
“Yeah, well I didn’t,” I said. “I’m a Raider now, so you need to get with the program. Nothing you say or do is going to change that, but I’d appreciate it if you could try to avoid sabotaging the small chance I have of actually getting to play football this season.”
The glass whizzed past my face, smashing into the wall behind me. “Nice, Dad. Real fucking nice.” I stormed past him and Mom, but his hand shot out, and he grabbed my arm.
“This is my house, Son. Don’t you forget that.”
“I’m sorry…” I didn’t miss a beat as his grip tightened. “Is that a threat?” The words came out rough against my throat.
“Lewis, Kaiden, please, stop,” Mom cried as we stared each other down.
Finally, he released me with a sharp shove. “Go on, get out of here.”
I blew out of the kitchen, desperate for some air, and didn’t stop until I was in my bedroom. The door slammed behind me, rattling my bones.
Fuck. Everything was going to shit. Being at Rixon High, being a Raider, being second-string to Monroe. Now my dad was spiraling out of control. Again. Senior year was supposed to be my time to shine, to secure a scholarship and my ticket out of here. Instead, it was becoming nothing more than a living nightmare.
I dropped down on the edge of my bed and buried my face in my hands. It hadn’t always been like this. Growing up there had been bursts of light in between endless days of dark. As a boy my old man had been just like any other dad. We’d played ball in the yard, and he’d cheered me on at Pee Wee games. But then he’d had an accident at work, a back injury that had never fully healed, and it was like a switch flipped. He became bitter and twisted, spending more time drunk than sober. Mom stuck by him, but our relationship only became more fraught as time went on. Announcing my transfer to Rixon High before the semester started was just the final straw.
It had seemed like the right move at the time.
But now…
Now even I wasn’t so sure.
“So what do you want to do today?” Bryan asked me. I’d gotten up and headed straight for his house. Dad was still out cold, no doubt sleeping off a hangover, and Mom was filled with guilt over everything. I needed out of the house, so I’d grabbed breakfast to go and came straight here.
“I figured we could just stay here.” I shrugged.
“We could head down to Riverside? They have those food trucks on the weekend. Then we could hit the arcade?” Gav suggested, spinning a basketball in his hand. We’d been shooting some hoops, stopping only to grab a drink.
“Oh yeah. I heard they got the latest virtual NFL game. It’s not Raider territory, we’ll be good.”
Typically, Raiders didn’t cross the river into Rixon East, and Eagles didn’t cross the river into Rixon. But that had all been blown to shit when our school burned down. Riverside was right on the divide, but it was still our side of the river.
“I guess we can check it out.” It beats sitting around all day dwelling on things I couldn’t control. Like asshole fathers and coaches bearing grudges.
“Sweet.” Bryan grinned. “Let me just tell my mom we’re heading out.” He bounced off with a spring in his step.
“He is such a momma’s boy,” Gav chuckled, but his expression turned serious when he looked at me. “Were things okay when you got home?”
“I got here before nine this morning. What do you think?”
“Enough said, man. I’m sorry your dad’s an asshole.”
“Yeah, me too.”
Bryan returned and the three of us rolled out. Riverside was only a fifteen-minute drive, so we piled into my car.
“You know, I’ve been thinking about your little Monroe problem,” Bryan said. “We could put word out to someone at Marshall Prep to hurt him.”
“Dude, seriously?” I balked. “I’m not going to cheat my way to the top. When I get to the number one spot it’ll be because I fucking earned it.”
“Jeez, okay, forget I said anything.” He sunk down in his seat. “You know what else might help?”
“No, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”
“You need to get laid, man. It’s been what? A month? Two?”
“Just because I’m not trying to stick it in anything that moves.”
“But you should. Like I told you before, use it or lose it.”
“And how’s that working out for you? Did Peyton put out yet?” Gav taunted from the back seat.
“Hey. I’m working on it. She just needs to experience the Brymeister in all his glory.”
“You’re a dick,” I said, throwing him an amused smirk.
“You’ll see. When I’m drowning in Peyton pussy and you two schmucks are left with nothing but your right hands for company.”
Shaking my head at his antics, I pulled into the small parking lot and cut the engine. It was still early, so things looked pretty quiet. But that was fine with me. I wasn’t exactly feeling sociable.
We made our way down to the promenade. It had been built a few years ago to make the most of the sprawling Susquehanna River landscape. In the summer months they had live music and street entertainment. It was a popular hangout with the local kids, but it also brought in some passing visitors.
“Holy shit, it’s my lucky day,” Bryan said, running his hands together.
“No fucking way,” Gav said. “Did you plan this?”
“I didn’t, I swear. But if that isn’t the universe working her sweet magic, I don’t know what is.” He took off toward Peyton and her friends. I searched for Lily, but she wasn’t there, and I didn’t know whether to be disappointed or really fucking relieved.
“You good with this?” Gav asked me, and I shrugged.
“I don’t want to spoil his fun.” Flicking my head over to Bryan, I added, “Besides, it could be funny as fuck to watch her run circles
around him.”
“We have got to stop meeting like this,” Peyton said.
“Told you, babe, it’s written in the stars.”
“I don’t date football players.” Her eyes narrowed on Bryan.
“Who said anything about dating?”
“You have zero shame, don’t you?” She twirled her hair around her finger, smirking at him.
Oh yeah, this girl had trouble written all over her and I was almost certain Bryan couldn’t handle a girl like Peyton.
“Do you know what I do have though?” He waggled his brows suggestively. “The ability to rock your world.”
We all exploded with laughter.
“Oh, he’s good, Pey,” Poppy said. “I think he deserves brownie points for effort.”
“Brownie points, you say?” His eyes lit up like the fourth of July fireworks. “I like the sound of that.”
“Well, I guess since you’re here and we’re here, you can buy me a frappuccino and one of those cute little pastries.” She grabbed his hand and tugged him toward one of the food trucks.
“Is Aaron here?” Gav asked Sofia.
“No, he’s over at the Ford’s with Ezra helping get things ready. We’re having a cookout later.”
“Nice. Where is Ashleigh and—”
I spotted her down the promenade, emerging from the restrooms.
“Girl’s day out, huh?” Gav said, but I barely heard him over my pulse thudding in my skull.
“Something like that.” Ashleigh’s heavy stare drilled into me as they approached, but I didn’t meet her eyes.
Had Lily told her about what happened?
I bet she had. Girls talked; it’s what they did.
Fuck.
That was the last thing I needed, Ashleigh telling their other friends and then one of them slipping it out at school. Then Coach would brand me a liar as well as the asshole trying to mack on his daughter.
“Umm, hey,” she said. “This is a surprise.”
“You’re on our side of the river,” Gav teased.
“True, but we didn’t think… it doesn’t matter. Riverside is big enough for all of us. Where’s the other one?”
