by L A Cotton
“We don’t have to. I just want to be here with you like this. You make everything quiet, Lily.” Kaiden brushed his lips over mine again, kissing me deeply. Our tongues tangled together as he gently rocked into me again.
“Fuck, you feel so fucking good and I’m not even inside you.” One of his hands slipped to my thigh, hitching my leg around his waist, allowing him to grind deeper.
I swallowed a moan, gentle waves of pleasure already building inside me. “Touch me,” I whispered, and his eyes flashed with hunger.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” I swallowed.
His hand moved around to my panties, dipping into the damp fabric. I arched off the bed as he slid two fingers inside me, curling them while his thumb found my clit, circling it in a lazy motion.
“God…” I panted, fisting the bedsheet. “It feels so good.”
“Do you trust me?” he asked.
I gazed up at him and nodded around a smile. “I do.”
I trusted him with my body…
And my heart.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Kaiden
She felt good under me.
Too fucking good.
Her skin was silky smooth and warm to touch. The soft curves of her body fit against the hard lines of mine like two pieces of the same puzzle. It was going to take everything I had not to slide inside her, but I could sense her hesitation.
It didn’t stop me from moving down her body though and inching off her panties until my nose was buried deep in her pussy.
“Oh God,” she cried, and I smirked against her, letting my tongue flick over her clit, circling and licking.
Lily’s hands went to my hair, tugging me closer all while trying to push me away. She was conflicted: hungry for more but overwhelmed by the new sensations. While I felt like a fucking king knowing that I was the first and only guy to ever make her feel this way.
I pressed two fingers inside her, glancing up over the length of her body to watch her response. Her eyes were heavy, her lips parted on a breathy whimper. She looked so fucking beautiful.
And she was mine.
I’d been ready to let her go earlier, to let her down gently and do the right thing. But how was I supposed to sever the ties between us now?
The answer was, I couldn’t.
Lily had burrowed her way into my soul, and even if I ended things, she’d still be there.
I gently sucked her clit, alternating the pressure until she writhed beneath me.
“Kaiden, it’s…”
“Ssh,” I breathed, blowing on her pussy. She about damn near bucked off the bed. But then I curled my fingers deeper, finding the sweet spot inside her and Lily shattered. Pleasure rolling through her as she cried my name.
A sound I wanted to hear again and again.
I kissed the soft flesh of her thigh, waiting as she rode out the waves, then climbed back up her body.
“Hi.”
“Hi.” She grinned. “That was…”
“Come here.” I slipped my hand around her neck. “Taste yourself.”
Her eyes widened with surprise but then I was kissing her, plunging my tongue deep into her mouth. Lily wound her arms around my neck, pulling me closer, her tight little body sending shockwaves through my dick.
I wanted her.
Fuck, I wanted her so much.
But I wouldn’t be that guy.
Not until she was one hundred percent sure she was ready.
When I broke away, Lily inhaled a shaky breath. Her lips parted, but before she could speak, I said, “I want to tell your dad about us.”
“W-what?”
“I can’t walk away from this. I won’t. So I think we should come clean. Before we get any deeper.”
Her eyes clouded with confusion as she gently nudged me off her and she sat up. “You want to tell him? But what about the team? It’s senior year, the scouts will be coming soon. You have so much riding on it.”
“You don’t think we should do it?” Disappointment welled in my chest. I did not see that coming.
“I’ve been thinking too,” Lily said, “and what if we wait? Just until the season is over.”
“Lily, that’s another two months.” I sat up too, the moment ruined.
I didn’t want to wait two months to go public, to hold her hand around school, and kiss her when I wanted.
Two months might as well have been a fucking life sentence.
“I know, maybe we won’t have to wait that long,” her eyes pleaded with me. “Once you have a scholarship offer, we can tell him. I don’t want to be the reason you jeopardize everything, Kaiden.”
“You really want to do this? Sneak around? Pretend that we’re nothing to each other at school?” Because I fucking didn’t.
I didn’t expect Coach Ford to like it, or even accept it. But Lily was almost eighteen. It wasn’t like he could ground her or stop her from seeing me. As for the team, Coach needed me. The back-up quarterback was a player fresh out of JV. He didn’t have what it took to carry the team to the playoffs.
If we came clean and told him now, there was enough time for him to process it without impacting the entire season. At least, that’s what I hoped.
Her expression faltered. “I’m not saying it will be easy. But you’ve worked so hard for this. And now the team is yours. Don’t you want it?”
“You know I do,” I gritted out. “But I want you too.”
“It won’t be forever.” Reaching for me, Lily grazed my jaw with her fingers before leaning in to kiss me. But I jerked back, feeling the disappointment slowly morph into anger and frustration. “Kaiden?” The blood drained from her face.
“I thought you were in this with me. Together?”
“I am.” Panic flared in her eyes. “I just think we should wait a little, and then we can tell him, together. It’ll be better this way, you’ll see.”
She sounded so sure of herself. I didn’t know what to make of it.
I stood up and started pulling on my clothes. When I was dressed, I ran a hand over my head and down the back of my neck, trying to ease some of the tension. “I thought you wanted this. I thought you wanted me?”
“I do.” Lily leaped up and pulled on her clothes. “I just don’t want us to do something we can’t take back.”
My spine went rigid, my blood turning cold. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I ground out.
Here I was ready to jump headfirst into this thing with her, to take a huge leap of faith, and she was… having doubts?
Fuck me. It didn’t feel good.
It didn’t feel good at all.
“I didn’t mean it like that… this is coming out all wrong. I thought… I thought you’d want to keep it a secret.”
“Why the fuck would I want to do that? You think I like sneaking around? Lying to your dad?” Proving to him, to everyone, that I’m the guy they all think I am.
“No. No! I just… Kaiden, what is happening right now? Everything was fine… better than fine, it was amazing, and now it feels like…” The words died on her lips.
“Yeah,” I said because fuck if I knew what else to say.
I wanted to tell her dad.
She didn’t.
How the fuck had we gotten here?
“I don’t want to fight,” she cried, “I—”
Bryan chose that exact moment to burst into the pool house. “There you are, we were getting worried.” His grin vanished at the obvious tension between us. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I said thickly. “It’s getting late. Are the girls ready to go?”
“Yeah, we just got done. You missed a fucking killer movie. Pun intended.” The idiot chuckled at his own joke. “I’ll go get the girls and give you two time to… do whatever you two do.” He smirked, and I flipped him off.
Bryan left, taking the air with him.
“Kaiden, I—”
“We should go. I’ll walk you out.” I headed for the door. I didn�
��t know how things had turned to shit so quickly, but I needed space to think. And I couldn’t do that with Lily right there, looking up at me with puppy dog eyes.
As I passed the door, my fist shot out, driving into the wall.
“Kaiden!” Lily shrieked, running over to me as I clutched my hand.
“I’m fine,” I said coldly, ignoring the pain shooting up my arm.
“Why are you being like this?”
“You should go.” I couldn’t look at her.
“Please,” her voice cracked, making me flinch, “don’t do this. We should talk about—”
“Not tonight. I need some space.” I finally looked at her. The pain in her eyes was enough to gut me, but it wasn’t enough for me to swallow my pride.
“Fine,” she whispered. “But this isn’t you, Kaiden. This isn’t the guy I’m falling for.” Lily walked away from me.
And she didn’t look back.
Saturday rolled around and I braced myself for my father’s hungover post-game tirade. He was slumped over his coffee, reading the newspaper.
“Look what the cat dragged in,” he grunted as I went to the refrigerator.
“Good morning to you too,” I muttered, grabbing the juice box and guzzling it down. I wasn’t in the mood to do this—be around him or my mom. But it wasn’t like I could escape since we all lived under the same roof.
“Morning, baby.” Mom breezed into the kitchen. “I heard congratulations is in order.”
Dad snorted. “Congratulations? I didn’t realize we were handing out congratulations for being second choice now?”
“Lew,” Mom sighed. “This is a big deal for Kaiden. It wouldn’t hurt for you to show some interest.”
“Big deal my ass.” He shoved his cereal bowl in the middle of the table, making the spoon clatter against the ceramic. “He got to play because the star quarterback was injured… It’s nothing to be proud of, Tina.”
“He was going to give me a chance,” I said, coolly.
“What the fuck did you say?”
“I said Coach Ford was going to give me a chance. Because unlike you he’s a grown man who can separate the past from the present.”
Dad flew toward me, grabbing me by the collar and slamming me up against the wall so hard my teeth rattled. “You got something to say to me, kid? Say it.”
“Lewis, stop… don’t.” Mom tried to peel his fingers off me, but he shoved her away. She stumbled back, catching her hip on the corner of the breakfast counter. “Lewis,” she cried, pain cracking her voice.
“Stay the fuck out of this, Tina. Well, Son,” he gritted out, “I’m waiting.”
“You’re a fucking disgrace,” I sneered, getting right in his face. I didn’t care that he was my dad or my elder, I’d lost respect for this man a long time ago. “You talk shit about Coach Ford, but at least he’s there for his family. At least he provides for them and looks out for them. What do you do, huh?” My body trembled with anger as I stared down a man I hated.
Because I did.
I hated the man who had given me life more than anything.
“What do you do except sit around all day getting drunk and acting like the world owes you something, when the fact of the matter is, you’re nothing but a sad, bitter man who’s jealous—”
He fisted my collar tighter, practically lifting me off the ground.
I could take him. Dad had an angry streak, but I was stronger. I just didn’t relish the thought of hurting him, of stooping to his level. Even if the cold-hearted bastard deserved it.
“Lewis!” Mom yelled, as we stared each other down. Father and son. A bond that should have been unbreakable but had only fractured wider and wider as the years went by.
“You can’t do it, can you?” I hissed. “One day you’re going to look around you and realize what a sad little life you’ve led. I’ll be at college, Mom will be off living her life, and you’ll be all alone. And do you know what? You’ll deserve it. You deserve every single thing you have coming to you.”
He backhanded me so fast I didn’t see it coming, my head snapping to the side, pain exploding along my jawbone.
The air crackled around us as I slowly faced him again, rubbing my jaw. “You really are fucked in the head, aren’t you?” My voice shook with anger.
“I didn’t… Fuck, Kaiden, I didn’t—” His grip on me faltered, so I used it to my advantage, slamming my shoulder forward, knocking him aside.
“I’m going out.”
I stormed out of the kitchen, Mom’s uncontrollable sobs following me down the hall. Something crashed, the familiar sound of glass smashing filling the air. But I didn’t stop. I grabbed my keys, shoved my feet into my sneakers, and got the hell out of there.
Before I did something I’d regret.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Lily
Kaiden: I need you.
* * *
Three little words that would have meant the world before last night. I was still staring at Kaiden’s message when Poppy crept into my room. It was early, too early. But I’d barely slept.
“Hey,” she tiptoed across the room and ducked under the covers with me. “So how was last night?”
“It was okay I guess.” I shrugged.
“What? That can’t be right. You were with Kaiden. Didn’t you two, you know, do it?” She pinned me with a knowing smirk. “Spill. I want details. All the glorious details.”
“No, we didn’t do it. Oh my God, Poppy. And even if we did, I wouldn’t be telling you about it.”
“What? Why not?” She had the audacity to look disappointed. “I’m your sister. I need to know these things.”
“It’s private.” My cheeks burned remembering just how close we came to crossing that line last night. How good Kaiden had felt pressed up against me.
Only for it to all blow up in my face.
“It’s only sex, Lil,” she said, misreading my expression. “We all do it eventually.”
My brows knitted as I studied her face. “You haven’t—”
“God, no. Can you imagine if Dad found out I was having sex at sixteen?” She shuddered. “But me and Aaron do have a sex pact.”
“A what now?” I spluttered. This was news to me.
“Yeah. If we haven’t lost our v-cards by the time we’re both eighteen, we’ll help each other out.”
“You’ll… help each other out. Wow, okay. I really don’t know what to say to that. I mean I love Aaron, he’s practically family. But a sex pact?”
Poppy batted my arm. “What? It’s a solid plan. It beats going away to college still a virgin.”
“There’s nothing wrong with still being a virgin when you go to college,” I said defensively.
“I know. It’s just not something I want to happen. So… sex pact. Besides, it’s Aaron.” Poppy grinned. “I’ve seen him naked enough times that I know there’s not going to be any horrible surprises.”
“Yeah, when you were kids.” We both laughed, although mine sounded strained. “You know, I always thought you had a thing for Aaron,” I added.
“For Aaron?” She gawked at me. Either my sister was in denial or good at lying because I’d seen them together enough times to see the sparks.
“Yeah.”
“He’s like the brother I never had, Lil. It’s weird.”
“Ouch. Don’t ever let him hear you say that.”
“Why, has he said something to you?”
“No.”
“Oh.” Disappointment washed over her, and I smiled.
“You do like him.”
“I don’t. I swear…” She let out a resigned sigh. “You can’t ever say anything, Lily. I mean it. He’s one of my best friends. It would be weird. It would ruin everything. Promise me.”
“Whoa, relax.” I hugged her closer. “I’m not going to tell anyone.”
“So, going back to Kaiden… what happened?”
“Everything was great.”
“Was?” She pushed up on her
elbow, frowning. “What aren’t you telling me, Lil?”
Tears bubbled in my throat. “I think we had our first fight.”
“Okay, that doesn’t sound too bad.”
“He wants to tell Dad about us.”
“Ah, I see.” Her brows pinched. “I’m guessing you told him you didn’t, and he freaked out?”
“Something like that. He was so angry, Pops. And I kept getting my words muddled… it was a mess.”
Last night had been amazing. The way Kaiden kissed me, the way he touched me and made me fall apart. I’d been so close to begging him to take me. But if we crossed that line it would only intensify what I already felt for him. Which was already terrifying enough.
I just wanted more time. Two months was a long time to pretend to everyone that we were nothing to each other, but we knew, wasn’t that enough?
“I can see both sides here,” she said, wise beyond her years. “Kaiden doesn’t want to betray Dad. You know what football players are like, especially ones like Dad and Kaiden, ones who can go all the way. Football is life. It comes above everything else.”
“I know. And it isn’t that I don’t want to tell Dad, I just need more time…”
“He’ll freak. No denying that. But Mom and Dad only want you to be happy, Lilster,” Poppy whispered as if she could hear my thoughts. “If they see how well Kaiden treats you, how happy he makes you, they’ll come around."
“Maybe.”
I wanted to believe her. But wanting me to be happy and accepting the guy I wanted to give myself to were two different things.
Especially when the guy in question was Kaiden Thatcher.
“What are you going to do?” she asked.
“I don’t know. He’s already texted asking to see me.”
“What did you say?”
“I haven’t replied.”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t you think you should?”
“Honestly, after last night, I don’t know what to say.”
“The truth. Tell him you’re scared. Tell him you’ve never done this before. Tell him you need some time. Just because Kaiden is some hotshot football player, doesn’t mean he doesn’t have fears and worries of his own. Has it ever occurred to you that he doesn’t feel good enough for you?”
