by L A Cotton
“Nah,” Gav said,” I think it’s neat they support her.”
“Yeah, I guess. I’m just gutted I’m not going to get to see Peyton in a killer dress.”
“You need to let that shit with her go,” I said. “She isn’t into you like that.”
“Yeah, I know.” Dejection etched into his expression. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.” He shrugged.
“The night is still young, man. Who knows, maybe you’ll find a cute, unsuspecting girl tonight to work your magic on. Someone like Carrie-Anne, maybe?”
“Carrie-Anne? Fuck off. She’s a total nerd.”
“She’s kinda cute though.” I snorted.
“You hook up with her then. Carrie-Anne Trombley,” he muttered. “She probably cries poetry when she comes.”
We’d barely reached the doors when Lindsey appeared.
“Holy shit,” Bryan let out a low whistle. “Now that’s a killer dress.”
Dread swarmed my stomach as she made a beeline for me. “I was beginning to think you weren’t coming,” she purred.
“A deal’s a deal,” I gritted out.
“Hold up,” Bryan said, wagging a finger between us. “What the fuck is going on?”
“Kaiden didn’t tell you?” A smug smile spread over Lindsey’s face. “He’s my date to Homecoming.” She laced her arm through mine and started tugging me toward the door just as Bryan said, “What the fuck?”
A chill ran through me as I realized this was probably a really fucking bad idea.
But it was too late now.
Chapter Thirty-One
Lily
“Hurry, we need to hurry,” Peyton said, fluffing my hair out. It felt strange feeling the weight of it down my back, but there was something oddly freeing about it.
After the game, we’d headed straight home to get ready. We didn’t have long, so it was all systems go. Poppy and Sofia had left five minutes ago with Aaron and Cole. I loved my sister, but I was relieved it was just the three of us.
I felt sick to my stomach. So much so, I was shaking. But it wasn’t only nervous energy zipping through me. It was anticipation too. I couldn’t wait to see Kaiden’s reaction when he saw me walk into the dance.
All week, I’d swung back and forth over wanting to go ahead with my plan and thinking it was ridiculous. But I had to do this. It was time to step out from the shadows and own my life.
I loved Kaiden. I was in love with him. And I wanted everyone to know it.
Including Dad.
Mom was coming with us since she knew what a big deal this was for me. She also wanted to be on hand to prevent the inevitable fallout when he realized what was happening.
The relief I’d felt telling her yesterday had been indescribable. All this time, I thought she and Dad would be disappointed or unsupportive, when the fact was, she’d been nothing but understanding.
I guess I should have known, considering she’d fallen in love with her own Raider back in high school.
“Girls,” Mom knocked on my bedroom door. “Are you ready? We need to go if we’re going to make it.”
“Hold up, Aunt Fee,” Ashleigh said, swiping her gloss over my lips. “We are almost… done. Blot.” She shoved some tissue at me.
“Holy shit, babe. You look amazing.” I stood up and Peyton guided me over to the mirror. The girl staring back barely resembled me. Her eyes were smoky and seductive, her lips stained red, contrasting with the charcoal dress hugging her body like a second skin. Dark chocolate curls framed her face in thick waves, making her icy-blue eyes pop.
“I look…”
“Beautiful, Lil. You look beautiful. Kaiden is going to die when he sees you.”
“Hopefully he won’t die,” I let out a strained chuckle. “But I’d take him being speechless.”
“I’m so fucking proud of you.” Peyton hugged me.
“Okay, ready?” Ashleigh asked and I nodded. She opened the door and Mom stood there, gaping.
“Oh my gosh, baby, you look… is that my Lily Star?”
“You don’t think it’s too much?”
“Too much? Sweetheart, Kaiden is a lucky young man. And once your father comes down from what I’m sure will be a nuclear meltdown, Kaiden is going to come over for dinner and we are going to sit down and talk like adults.”
“Whatever you say, Mom,” I murmured, dreading that particular conversation.
She chuckled as we all gathered in the living room for some photos. It was getting late. If we didn’t leave soon, we would miss the dance.
“Okay, ready?” Mom asked me and I nodded.
“As I’ll ever be.” Nervous energy fluttered in my stomach, but part of me was also excited.
Mom opened the door and ushered me outside, her green eyes softening as I passed. “Time to get Cinderella to the ball,” she whispered.
Time to go get my prince.
As we pulled up outside the gymnasium, I opened my purse to find my cell phone. “Oh crap,” I said.
“What is it, sweetheart?”
“I forgot my cell phone.” In all the chaos, I must have left it on my nightstand charging.
“You don’t need your cell phone tonight, baby. Shall we?” Mom cut the engine and the girls piled out. I took a minute to collect my thoughts. I’d come a long way since eighth grade. I needed to remember that. When my emotions got to be too much and I felt overwhelmed, I needed to remember the leaps I’d made.
Trichotillomania and anxiety were a part of me the way football was a part of Kaiden. And he’d accepted me. All of me.
Peyton yanked the car door open. “Come on, babe, I can’t wait to see his face.”
Ashleigh’s cell vibrated, and she dug it out of her purse, frowning at the message. But there was no time to ask what was going on because Peyton practically dragged me toward the doors. The music grew louder, pulsing through me like a warm current. I inhaled a shuddering breath as we slipped inside, with Mom and Ashleigh following behind.
“Wait,” Ashleigh called as we entered the main room.
It was a blur of lights and noise and it took my eyes a second to adjust to the chaos. The theme was the Rixon Raiders of course, the gym transformed into some kind of blue and white paradise. Streamers hung from the ceilings and balloon clusters littered the tables edging the dance floor. I scanned the crowd, desperately searching for Kaiden.
At first, I couldn’t see him. But then a couple of girls moved out of the way and my eyes found him across the room. Gosh, he looked so good in his black dress shirt and black slacks. His hair was mussed up as if he’d run his fingers through it as he chatted to Bryan and Gav.
Gav spotted us, his eyes widening with surprise, and I smothered a laugh at the shell-shocked expression on his face.
“Go get him, sweetheart,” Mom nudged me forward. “I’ll go manage your father.”
My feet carried me forward right as Gav whispered something to Kaiden. He went completely rigid, turning slowly. I knew the second he saw me because his eyes turned dark.
“Hi.” I smiled up at him, blushing under his intense regard.
“Lily? What are you—”
“Just let me get this out, please…” I inhaled a sharp breath. “It’s hard to put into words what the last few weeks have meant to me. A girl who, at times, is afraid of her own shadow. I’m scared of the unknown, of trying new things, of stepping outside my comfort zone… but you make me want to try, Kaiden. You make me want to spread my wings and soar.”
“Lily, I—”
“I love you,” I blurted, the emotion I felt for him spilling over. “I’m in love with you. I’m not sure when it happened or how, but it did. And I just wanted you to know that. I wanted you to know that I choose you.”
“Fuck,” he hissed, running a hand over his jaw.
It wasn’t quite the reaction I was expecting, and suddenly, the room started to grow small around me.
“Kaiden?”
“This isn’t… I mean, it’s not… didn’t y
ou get my message?”
“Message, what—”
“Well, isn’t this adorable.” Her voice was like nails across a blackboard, making me shudder.
“Lindsey, this doesn’t concern you,” I said, meeting her smug gaze. “Please don’t make a scene.”
“A scene. Why on Earth would I make a scene when you’re clearly hitting on my date.”
“W-what?” I jerked back as if she’d slapped me.
“Kaiden didn’t tell you?” She smirked, sliding her perfectly manicured hand up his arm and wrapping it around his bicep as if she owned him. “We came to the dance together.”
My stomach plummeted into my toes.
No.
No!
It was a joke.
She was joking.
He would never come to the dance with Lindsey. He knew who she was to me, what she’d done to me.
Except when I looked at him for confirmation that this was some kind of a sick joke, all I saw there was blistering regret.
“Kaiden, what is she talking about?”
“I’ll explain everything later,” he said coolly.
“Later? I don’t want you to explain it later. I want you to explain it now.” My heart galloped across my chest like a band of wild horses as my words shook. “Is she telling the truth? Are you here… together?”
“Yeah, but it’s not what it looks like.” His eyes tried to tell me something, but I couldn’t see past the tears blurring my vision.
He was here… with her. With the girl who made my life hell for breathing.
“I don’t understand.” My voice cracked as I fought to stay in control of my emotions. People began to watch, a crowd gathering around us to watch the drama unfold. Ashleigh and Peyton stepped up beside me, but I couldn’t take my eyes off the boy I loved.
My brows knitted. “I came here to tell you that I love you and you’re here… with her.”
“I can explain…”
“So, explain.”
“I…” His eyes darted around the room and I wondered if he was searching for my dad.
Oh God, Dad.
Had he witnessed all of this? I started scanning the room too, but my heart was beating too fast and everything started to blur and I couldn’t breathe.
God, why couldn’t I breathe?
“Lily, maybe we should go?” Ashleigh gently grabbed my arm and started pulling me away.
“Don’t worry, Lily. I’ll make sure Kaiden enjoys the rest of his night. I’ll—”
“You fucking bitch.” Peyton launched herself at Lindsey, slapping her hard. Lindsey’s shrieks filled the air as she clawed at Peyton’s hair, the two of them trading insults and blows.
“Whoa there, Rocky.” Bryan managed to haul Peyton off her while Lindsey’s friends consoled her.
“Lily.” Kaiden reached for me, but I jerked away.
“Don’t touch me,” I shrieked, “don’t you dare touch me.”
“Please, let me explain—”
“I think you’ve done enough, son.” Dad’s voice was icy cold as he approached us, his eyes narrowed to murderous slits.
“Coach, I can explain… please…”
“Enough!” Dad boomed, shaking with rage.
They’d even stopped the music now, everyone too interested in the car crash unfolding in front of them than the dance. Endless silence seemed to stretch out between us. But then someone’s cell phone bleeped, and another, until it sounded like every cell phone in the room was bleeping. People began pulling them out of pockets and purses, checking their messages.
“Oh my God,” someone gasped. “Is that—”
“It’s them. It’s her… oh shit.”
“What the hell is going on?” Dad grumbled, his brows furrowed at the whispers and snickers filling the room.
“Hey, you,” he marched over to a kid standing on the edge of our group, “what’s going on?” Snatching the guy’s cell phone, he glared down the screen, the blood draining from his face. “I’ll kill you,” he set his sights on Kaiden again. “I’ll fucking ki—”
“Okay, Jase, that’s enough Homecoming for you.” Mom wrapped herself around him like a koala.
I realized something was very, very wrong when everyone seemed to be laughing and snickering in my direction.
“Kaiden?” My voice quivered.
“I’m sorry, Lily. I’m so fucking sorry.” Regret bled from his words as Bryan opened his cell and read the message.
“Holy shit,” he whistled, right as Kaiden’s eyes shuttered.
“For God’s sake, give me that,” Ashleigh snatched it off him and positioned it so we could both watch the video.
A video of me and Kaiden.
Me and Kaiden at the fairground.
“Oh God.” Bile rushed up my stomach and I clapped my hand over my mouth.
“Lily—”
“No, no!” I cried. “I need to…” I took off running toward the doors and burst through them, almost stumbling in my small kitten heels.
“Lily, wait,” Kaiden gave chase, but I didn’t stop running. Shouldering the door to the gymnasium, I spilled out into the inky night, mascara-stained tears running down my cheeks.
“Wait, please.” Kaiden was too fast, and I was already crashing. My lungs burned as my air supply was cut off by the vicious fingers of shame.
“They saw.” I heaved, trying to suck in a greedy, desperate breath. “They all saw us… me… they saw me like that. My dad saw…”
“Fuck. Fuck!” Frustration coated Kaiden’s voice. “She deleted it. I watched her fucking delete it—”
“You knew?” My eyes grew to saucers. “You knew she had that video, and you didn’t tell me?”
“She only told me before the game… I didn’t want you to worry.” His eyes pleaded with me, but all I could see was Lindsey standing there with her arm wrapped around him as if he belonged to her. “She said if I went to the dance with her, she’d delete it. I watched her delete it, Lily. I swear.”
“Let me get this straight,” my voice shook with anger, “you chose going to the dance with her as her date over telling me?”
“Lily, that’s not fair and you know it. I was trying to protect you. I was going to tell you tonight at Bryan’s. You have to believe me.”
“Did this deal include anything else?” I threw my hands up. “Maybe a slow dance? A kiss under the disco ball?” Before I realized what I was doing, my hands slammed into his chest. “What else did it include, huh? What else was she going to take from me?” My voice was shrill as emotion surged through me. Kaiden tugged me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me and holding me as I sobbed into his shirt.
She’d ruined everything.
Homecoming.
My big moment with Kaiden.
Coming clean to Dad.
The night I finally gave myself to the boy I loved.
Lindsey had stolen everything from me… as if ruining the last four years of my life wasn’t already enough.
“I hate her,” I shrieked, “I hate her, I hate her, I hate her.”
I was wrung dry. Barely able to stand as Kaiden gently coaxed me out of his arms.
“Lily, sweetheart,” Dad said, “I’ve got you.”
My body sagged against him as he lifted me into his arms. “I’m sorry, Dad,” I murmured, feeling the adrenaline melt away, replaced by bone-weary exhaustion.
“Ssh, Lily girl, let’s get you home.”
“Coach, please, let me—
“You and I will talk about this later. When I don’t want to rip your head from your fucking body.”
A shiver ran through me at the ferocity in Dad’s words. “Don’t hurt him, Daddy,” I whimpered.
“I won’t hurt him, sweetheart. Too much. Come on.” He stalked across the parking lot and bundled me into his car next to Peyton.
She laid my head in her lap and stroked her fingers through my hair softly. “I’m so sorry, babe. But I got her for you. I got her good.”
I managed a small chuckle at that.
“Everyone saw me, Peyton. They saw me—” I couldn’t even say the words.
Dad climbed in the car, slamming the door so hard it made my teeth rattle.
“You doing okay over there, Mr. Ford?”
“I want to kill him. Murder him with my bare—”
“You can’t kill him, Daddy,” I said weakly.
“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t?” His eyes met mine in the rearview mirror, filled with rage.
“Because I love him. I’m in love with him.”
“Oh Jesus, Lily,” he let out a thin breath, “of all the guys in the world it had to be him?”
“I’m sorry, Dad.”
“Yeah, baby.” He shook his head gently. “Me too.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Kaiden
I watched Coach Ford’s Range Rover disappear down the street, feeling completely and utterly helpless.
“Fuck, man, that was some fucked up shit,” Bryan strolled up beside me and laid a hand on my shoulder.
“I screwed up.” I gritted out, my fists clenched at my sides. “Fuck, I screwed up so bad.”
“Kaiden,” a woman approached me.
“Yeah?”
“I’m Lily’s mom, Felicity.”
“You must really hate me right now.” Shame washed over me, and I could barely meet her sympathetic gaze.
“Actually, I was hoping we could talk.”
“Will you talk to both of us?” Mrs. Bennet appeared.
“Yeah, sure. Whatever.” I glanced back toward the parking lot gates, hoping for a last glimpse at Coach’s car. But it was long gone.
Lily was long gone.
“I’ll be inside if you need me,” Bryan said, and I gave him a small nod.
“Come on,” Mrs. Bennet said, “let’s go to my office.”
We walked through the school in thick silence. Shame and regret weighed heavy on my soul, but I couldn’t undo the events of the last few hours. No matter how badly I wished I could.
Lindsey had played me. She had fucking played me, and I’d been too blindsided to see it. Because all I could think about was protecting Lily from that video getting into the wrong hands. I knew what it meant to her to let me in like that. To give me all her firsts. And now it was tainted. Every second we’d shared, every kiss and touch and stolen moment… all ruined because I’d been too chickenshit to do what needed to be done.
