“We were married a year later,” Mr. Hudson added with a satisfied smile.
“I do not tell you all of this to push you into seeking another woman. I do tell you this to push you into seeking a new goal. Your goal should never be the finding of a woman. If a man determines to find a woman, a woman he will find. But roses are not found. They are stumbled upon. And that is not a goal one can make,” he finished. A satisfied, knowing smile crept upon Mr. Hudson’s face.
Richard was still somewhat speechless. The story, and more importantly the lesson, was enough to keep his lips sealed as he digested the words of his friend. The wisdom was fairly palpable and Richard was overwhelmed by it. “Well, then…” he said. It seemed there was little else he might respond with.
“Yes, well then. Well then, what are you going to do about it? That is the real question,” Mr. Hudson pushed.
“I suppose I shall have to find the troop of rogue soldiers I discovered last evening as they were shooting up a Jacobite wedding party…” he replied.
Mr. Hudson’s eyes grew wide in horror. He had not expected this at all. “A wedding? They shot up a wedding?” he asked, his voice rising in a mixture of rage and agony.
“Indeed. It was a horror. I tried to talk sense into them, but they were drunk and mad and foolish. I cannot believe such a selfish, horrid act was done in the name of our people,” Richard answered.
“What dishonorable creatures they must be!” Mr. Hudson exclaimed, now in full-blown anger. Richard knew him to be a good man, and a man who did not particularly care for either side other than his livelihood being dependent upon a Hanoverian soldier.
However, it did seem to be the best course of action, focusing on finding these men and warring against them for their gross display of inhumanity. It was vengeance, it was distraction, and it was exactly the thing that Richard would need.
“I do think you are right, Mr. Hudson. Having a new mission is precisely what my mind and body require now. I think this is a cause worthy of my time and energy, a cause that will strengthen me to endure this trial I had not expected to face,” Richard mused.
It seemed a perfect storm of events to find himself here, in this place. No matter how the sun was shining outside, the night before had been cold and damp and all that he had believed and trusted about his fellow Hanoverian soldiers was dissolved while his appreciation for a lone Scottish woman became his sole focus.
However, this new mission was a focus to break through the storm that was threatening to rage within him. This was a chance for Richard to be a soldier, in a sense, who fought for something new. Himself. He would fight to be the man he wished to be and he would be stronger than he had ever been before.
It would be easy to track the raiding party. He didn’t know that area overly well, but he could get back to the castle and, once there, beseech the locals to tell him who had been responsible and where those men were camped.
Richard expected a certain amount of resistance. After all, there was little he could do to hide his own English heritage. He would have to try nevertheless. “What say you, Mr. Hudson? Are you willing to join me in this journey?” Richard asked.
The man smiled and creases formed in the corners of his eyes. “I should like nothing more than to aid you in finding them,” he said with sincerity.
With that said, Richard prepared himself for yet another journey away from his post. He wondered how much longer he would manage before a new superior was sent to govern them and he would once again be subject to the rigors of a soldier’s life.
In addition, he also felt an intense guilt over the fact that he had become so far removed from his duties that he had no desire at all to serve in his capacity as a lieutenant. This was no behavior for a soldier. Was he weak? Was he afraid and using this all for an excuse?
Richard felt confident this was not the case, and yet, he could not remove himself from his guilt. He promised himself that this would be the last time. He would not disappear again.
With Mr. Hudson, he agreed that he did need to submit to a solid night’s rest at the camp. He had pushed himself too hard, yet again.
Dinner came and Richard took a hearty meal, thanks to the generosity of those noblemen in England who helped cover these costs of war on behalf of sons who were in high-ranking positions by default of their station in the country.
After dinner, Mr. Hudson drew him a bath. It was an evening where he was able to relax from the anxieties that had so deeply plagued him of late.
Once that rest was over, sleep came. A true, deep, magnificent sleep. Not like the rest of knowing he was so close to the woman he desired. That sleep was fraught with desire and need and anxiety. This sleep was that of a man who had settled his mind on something, who had a mission, who had a purpose to serve.
When the light came in the morning, Richard rose and fueled yet again with a solid breakfast before Mr. Hudson packed a few of his things for their journey. “I expect it shall take no more than a few days to track them, dispense with our concern, and return,” Richard said.
“How exactly do we plan to…dispense?” asked Mr. Hudson, who had fought briefly in his younger days, but was no skilled soldier.
“We observe, we learn. And once we have seen them in their state, we will decided how exactly we must proceed,” Richard decided.
He was settled with the plans he had made, even though they held a great deal of unknowns. What he was not settled with was the fact that no matter how he tried, he could not get the image of Adeline from his mind.
All That Exists To Overwhelm
“I think I could just do with a bit of sleep. I’m knackered,” Adeline said to Arabella, who had just told her about all that had occurred since the attack.
It had been an overwhelming few hours. Although her mind was still on Richard, Adeline now knew that her friends were safe. She was surrounded by many who loved her and had been worried that she was not with them or at the castle. Their relief at her survival was nearly as great as her own relief that they had all made it through unscathed.
Joanna was her usual self, somewhat aloof and distant, yet Adeline saw clearly that she too was relieved at the knowledge of her having lived through the night.
Adeline spread quickly the story she had spun, about a kind village innkeeper allowing her to rest in a room at no charge upon hearing of her plight. Before she knew it, the details she conceived on the spot were thorough enough to fool even a great cynic.
Yet, amidst all the relief, a great deal of sadness was also felt. There had been casualties. Multiple villagers, both from Lowkirk and Dunmore, had been executed. The greatest shock was hearing that the baron, groom and husband of Emily, had been shot. They still were not certain whether or not he would survive.
Adeline’s heart had dropped at this news. Truly, his life was no more or less valuable than all the others who had died, but there was great tragedy in the death of a man who was just beginning a life with the woman he loved.
This made Adeline’s thoughts turn back to Richard even more fiercely. What would she do if she never saw him again? If he died? If something terrible befell him? No matter how much she wanted to push it away, she could no longer deny the fact that she loved him.
There was so much to deal with that Adeline did all she could do and fell into a deep sleep.
* * *
A loud knock woke Adeline in the early evening and she croaked a groggy grunt that signaled to Arabella to enter the room. Adeline forced her stiff joints to sit upright and greeted her friend with a weak attempt at a smile.
“Ye’ve been asleep for four hours. Tea will be ready soon. Yer uncle has ordered that we feast in memory of those lost at the wedding. To their honor,” Arabella explained.
Adeline nodded. She knew that the laird of the MacGowan clan was rather fond of feasts and sought excuses for them. Their evening would be haggis-filled. Her stomach rumbled in acknowledgement.
“So, anything ye’d like to tell me? I get the se
nse there’s more to yer escape than what ye’ve shared with us. I ken ye well,” Arabella said, nudging Adeline out of her quiet.
“I cannae keep a thing from ye, can I?” she asked with a half-hearted laugh.
“Not really…” Arabella replied.
“Then I suppose I can tell ye that I didnae escape alone,” Adeline began.
Arabella’s eyebrows raised just enough to show she was surprised, but not in a way that made Adeline feel judged. “Right. Go on then,” she prodded.
“Remember that Hanoverian at the wedding? At Grace’s wedding I mean, not Emily’s. The one I danced with?” she asked. At Arabella’s nod, she continued. “Well, he was there, trying to stop those men from what they did. And he…he rescued me.”
Arabella stared in surprise, but with a smile threatening to overwhelm her face.
“Why do ye look so damn happy?” Adeline asked in irritation.
“Because clearly a man willing to risk all that must like ye!” Arabella exclaimed in excitement.
Adeline’s face clouded over. She was in a dark mood. “It would seem that way. But ye cannae imagine it. He was a perfect gentleman, but…well…we did kiss…”
Arabella tried to suppress a small squeal as she clapped her hands together. She was clearly very thrilled by all this news and gossip.
“Dinnae get too excited,” Adeline warned. “The man was actually mad enough to propose to me!”
“What?” Arabella exclaimed, this time with shock registering all over her face. “Ye’re to be wed?”
“I said dinnae get too excited. I refused him,” Adeline replied.
“What did ye just say?” Arabella asked with irritation.
“I refused him. I had to. He was doing it all out of obligation. He didnae want to impact me reputation. It was noble and all that, but it wasnae how I wanted it to be,” she replied.
“Noble?” Arabella asked. Adeline nodded her head. “That sounds like a word ye carefully chose and repeated to yerself to escape something that frightened ye. Dinnae be foolish. Admit that ye were too afraid to accept.”
“Arabella, ye dinnae ken what ye’re saying. Ye wernae there. He was being a gentleman. A good man, but he wasnae really wanting me to be his wife or anything,” she justified.
“I am sorry ye went through all this, but are ye certain? I find it hard to believe!” Arabella said again.
“I am certain. Thank ye for wanting to encourage me, but I’m certain,” Adeline replied.
Just then, another knock came on the door. This time, it was Joanna who entered. Realizing she had just stumbled into a private conversation, she started to go, but Adeline called her to stay. She relayed the whole account all over again for Joanna’s benefit, with Arabella giving her opinions every step of the way.
“If ye really think he didnae mean it, then I suppose ye made the right choice,” Arabella said sympathetically.
Joanna’s hard eyes squinted at Adeline. Sometimes it was difficult to tell if the squints were Joanna’s distant attitude or a result of her struggles with vision, but Adeline felt quite certain that she was about to receive a heartless, emotionless lecture about her stupidity.
She was right.
“Honestly, that’s piss. What are ye on about, Adeline?” she asked with an air of mild disgust.
“Joanna, ye wernae there,” Adeline replied, trying to push aside the visibility of her offense and protect herself from Joanna’s armor.
“No, I wasnae, but if I had been, I’d have told ye that ye’re going to make yerself sick with worry and that ye were silly to believe that the bloke doesnae love ye. Ye should get off yer arse and go back and talk to him. Or did ye learn nothing last night? Did ye not see how quickly ye can lose yer life? I wasnae there for that either, but I’ve been with dozens as they’ve died. More maybe,” Joanna said, apparently letting herself vent.
Adeline was unsure how to reply. She didn’t want to anger her friend, but she also couldn’t bear the thought of turning around to find Richard and beg him for a second chance. The thought was far too humiliating.
“So what are ye going to do about it?” Joanna asked.
Adeline looked at her and then to Arabella, who was smiling in a way that told Adeline that Joanna was right. Both women thought it was the best solution to the problem.
Inhaling deeply before setting her face in grim resolve, Adeline answered, “Fine. I’ll go to him.”
The smile of a smug winner spread on Joanna’s pretty face and she lifted her chin just a little at the victory. Arabella’s grin was warm and friendly, excited for her friend to be with the love of her life.
For Adeline, it was a challenge that proved quite terrifying. She was a young woman who had a blend of strong self-reliance and also deep insecurity. Returning to Richard and telling him she was wrong, asking his forgiveness and begging him to propose again, it felt foolish and humiliating.
On the other hand, Adeline could not help but hope that her friends were right, that she had misjudged him, that he would be thrilled to give her another chance, to ask her to be his, and to see what the future held for the two of them.
She made plans to set out the next morning, knowing that her whereabouts would not matter in the midst of the tragedy the whole clan was dealing with at present. Her friends were well aware of her plan and that was all that was important.
However, as evening fell, Adeline realized she was ravenous with hunger and was thrilled when the dinner feast was announced.
What she had not anticipated, however, was the surprise of who she found herself sitting beside. With Arabella and Joanna to her left, her right was empty until Camry Grennock and his father, Wallace, the Earl of Firbrook, seated themselves next to her.
Feeling nausea stir in her gut, Adeline looked to her friends to keep her occupied so as not to appear rude in ignoring Camry and his father. However, she was unable to escape so easily as they continuously struck up conversation with her.
“Ye ken, we were terribly relieved when we heard that ye were safe,” the earl said with kindness in his eyes.
Camry, however, looked like a wolf ready to devour. “Aye, we’d not have done well if ye hadnae made it,” he said as if there were some meaning beyond the words.
“I thank ye both for yer compassion and happiness that I am alive,” was all she could muster in reply. It didn’t matter much. The earl was distracted by other matters, but Camry remained fixated on her. Even when Arabella tried to tear Adeline away, he brought her right back into conversation.
The pressure was overwhelming. Adeline knew well that the laird, her uncle, had every intention for her to marry Camry. Not only that, but it seemed to be what everyone in the clan was expecting. Their friendship had little blossomed, and yet there was already talk of the two being wed.
Camry was terribly handsome, much like his brother. On the surface, he seemed to be a nice man. He was hardworking, respected, and everything else a woman might desire in a husband.
However, there was something about him that prevented her trust. Adeline knew she could never be completely comfortable with him.
Greater still, however, was the knowledge that she simply did not love him. She never had and certainly never could in the future. In the past, he wasn’t hers. Now, someone else was. Her heart belonged to Richard. She loved him. In addition, she was finally willing to try believing that he might love her.
Unable to escape the conversations coming at her from Camry, and with her stomach twisting itself into endless knots, Adeline finally decided that her best course of action was to give in to the discomfort of her body and leave the table.
“Please forgive me,” she said, wincing a little as she looked at Camry to give the excuse. “I am feeling unwell. Perhaps it is just from being overwhelmed by all that happened to our dear friends.”
“Aye, aye. Probably so,” Camry said, as if stuttering. He was clearly disappointed by Adeline’s departure, but willing to give in to her excuse, much to her r
elief.
“I am sure we will speak soon,” she said, with a gentle bow of her head. Then, turning, she gave the same excuse to Arabella and Joanna.
“I’ll come to check on ye after an hour or so. Get well. Ye have much ahead,” Arabella said vaguely. Adeline knew that her friend probably saw through the whole ordeal and understood what lie beneath it, yet she allowed Adeline an easy escape.
“I will get a good deal of rest tonight,” Adeline replied.
She left the banquet hall and made her way up the stairs and to her room, where she began to pack just a few items. In the morning, she would finally go after Richard and they would be together, as they had always been meant to be.
A Discovery Sought And Another Found
“It was none too far from here,” Richard said, looking around but seeing mostly trees. He and Mr. Hudson had been riding for hours, but with very little to show for it. In one village they stopped to ask questions, they were merely spat on and ignored before choosing to move on and look themselves.
“I am sure that it is, Lieutenant. You are an excellent scout. If you remember it being nearby here, then I’ve no doubt it is so,” Mr. Hudson replied.
Richard smiled, knowing Mr. Hudson would always remain supportive of him even if they were lost in a highland wood somewhere.
There was no telling whether or not they really were close to their destination, but it was the best Richard could remember. It had been dark that night. Now it was daylight and he trusted himself less and less by the moment. “Hold on,” he said suddenly, seeing their first hint in a long while. “Do you see that? Is it what I think it is?”
“Indeed, Lieutenant Holloway, that’s a camp,” Mr. Hudson replied.
Satisfied, they began to press forward until they came close to the camp.
“We’d best be slow. And cautious. We’ve no idea how the men will respond to our presence here. We cannot allow them to see us before we see them. They might remember me from that evening and I sense that they will not be thrilled to look upon my face again,” Richard warned.
Kidnapped Highland Bride (Ladies of Dunmore Series) (A Medieval Scottish Romance Story) Page 8
