“It’s not. Truly.” The corners of his mouth lifted in a sensual grin. “And I very much look forward to teaching you the difference. You always were such a smart girl, Sophia. I doubt that’s changed much since school. So don’t make me out to be some kind of a bastard, Sophia. Not about this.”
None of his words made much sense to me, but a kernel rapped against my brain. His dominance, his need to have me on my knees, it all pointed to dangerous delights.
Like the things I had seen in movies and read in books. Dark, seductive desires that attached to my core whenever I saw them. Memories of our fights, of how I got a strange thrill whenever he shoved his face right into mine, staring at me as if he didn’t know whether to kiss me or punch the wall above my head, rose up to remind me of my twisted nature.
“We flirted with this before.”
“I know, Sophia.” He tilted his head and observed me. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m confused. I don’t understand any of this.”
“Like what?” His soft voice inspired my confidence.
“Why are you chasing after me?” I frowned and shook my head. “No, don’t answer that.”
“I will answer it because you need to know.” Alexander kissed the corner of my mouth. “You and I never finished. You know it’s true. Why do you think I ended up here? Of all the companies in the world, why did I choose this one?”
My dry mouth nearly left me incapable of speech. I swallowed hard. “Coincidence.”
“You know better. Do you really think I haven’t kept track of you all these years? I’ve known every address you’ve had, every job, and every…relationship.” Alexander’s lip curled back on the last word.
I swayed. I should’ve been frightened by his thoroughness. I wasn’t. A strange, secret part of me was relieved. To have someone share my obsession was lovely.
“Me too.”
“What?”
“Relationships. I’ve known about yours, at least the ones that made it on the Internet.”
His mouth quirked into enigmatic smile. “Really now?”
“Yes.” Anger and jealousy spiked. “You’ve gotten around so much I wonder how you’d manage to run a hot dog stand much less a large corporation.”
His amusement evaporated. “Careful there, girl. I’m not above throwing things in your face.”
“Go for it. I’m not the one jumping from bed to bed and letting the whole world document it.”
“Did you ever wonder why?”
“No.”
Alexander pulled my head back slowly. He bared my throat, leaving it a long line vulnerable to his lips and teeth. “Why do you think someone like me who has always been protective of my privacy would allow that kind of information out? Would be in places where pictures could be taken?”
“To show off what kind of women money attracts.”
And rub it in my face. To show me that you didn’t need me, that you were doing just fine without me.
“Still catty as ever.”
I blushed a deep red. I generally wasn’t hateful to females in general, and previous lovers would swear there wasn’t a jealous bone in my body, but Alexander had always elicited a different response. Just the thought of all those women who’d taken my place afterwards was enough to stir my bile and bring out the worst in me.
Which, unfortunately, was all I ever showed to Alexander.
Fuck me. I was such a bitch sometimes.
Shame was a large pill to swallow, familiar but still difficult to digest. “I’m sorry,” I somehow choked out. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sure your past…girlfriends…were lovely people. You wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Alexander’s brows rose in surprise. “I’m sure that cost you plenty. You’ve never been so gracious while in the throes of a jealous tantrum. I’m very impressed, little chick.”
My fingers curled into my palms, nails biting hard into the soft flesh. I turned my gaze down to the ground, wishing I could be anywhere else but there talking about the women who knew the kind of face Alexander made when he came.
“Don’t make fun of me.”
“But you make it so easy.” He sighed when I didn’t respond to his gentle teasing. “Sophia, look at me.”
Alexander waited. I refused to raise my gaze up to his. He pulled me up to my knees by using his hold on my hair. It stung and effectively encouraged me to obey.
Alexander leaned forward and admitted, “They were placeholders, Sophia. Perfectly nice women who never stood a chance at all because they weren’t you. They understood their place because I never lied to them.”
My stomach fluttered with giddy excitement before settling like a stone. “Don’t play with me like that. I’m not stupid. You barely gave a thought about me when I was with you. I doubt distance would’ve changed a thing.”
Alexander drew away. He sighed again, sounding all the world like a man pushed beyond his limits. He released his grip on my hair.
I suffered the absence terribly. I crazily wanted to grab his hand and put it back.
He brushed his fingertips down my cheek before flicking my nose. “You only see the bad and you never forgive, do you? I have my work cut out for me but I’m confident I’ll break you out of that habit.”
I wanted to slap at his hand, but reigned in the impulse. Instinct told me Alexander was not the same man who would take me putting my hands on him in anger. “It’s not for you to break. I’m the only one responsible for me.”
“You’re wrong, Sophia. Very wrong. I created you and now I must fix what I broke.”
Broken?
He saw me as broken. He saw the truth. Alexander’s melancholy murmur dug into my vulnerable spots. I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and forget about all the pain and misery that had come with loving him.
I pressed my palm against his heart. It beat strong, full of life, and a pointed reminder of how unattainable it had been to try and lock his heart in my lonely cage. “What exactly do you want from me, Alexander?”
He rested his hand over mine. It was warm where mine was cold. Always opposite, always complimentary. “Isn’t it obvious? I want you back with me. Back where you belong. It’ll be better this time because we’re going to do it differently.”
The bottom dropped out. I inhaled sharply and looked up at his gorgeous, painfully familiar face. “Will I lose my job if I don’t want agree?”
Despair and rage rippled across his expression like an ugly, distorted shadow. He flung my hand away from him. Alexander pushed his chair back and stood. When I made move to rise, he snapped, “Stay there!”
Once sure I would obey, he then concentrated on buttoning his shirt before tucking it back into place.
I recognized the sharp, stiff movements. Alexander had already erased me from his mind. Present but unseen, I watched as he deftly retied his tie, smoothing the silken material until it never looked like I had nearly yanked it off his neck when he pushed me onto the floor.
Hating my banishment, wanting to be real again, I tried to force an answer from him. “Will I, Alexander?”
His icy glare froze me on the spot.
“I would never fuck any of my female employees much less threaten her to keep fucking me so she could keep her job. So how do you think I would act with you?”
“I don’t know, Alexander. I really don’t.” My hand reached up for him once more before I could stop it. “I never really knew what you felt about me. You knew for years that I liked you.”
Alexander’s snort preceded a hearty laugh. “Woman, everyone back home knew that. You did very little to hide it.” He sat back down, knee by my chin, and coaxed my head to lie on his thigh. He threaded his fingers through my hair, rubbing his thumb against my scalp in soothing movements. “You’re hell bound and determined to dig up the past right now, aren’t you?”
“Please, I just need to talk about it.”
“Fine. We haven’t gone over what I expect from you yet so I won’t puni
sh you for pushing. Just know I won’t tolerate this from you in the future.”
I couldn’t even begin to allow my imagination to wander far but what I saw stunned me with visceral lust. I yearned to stay beneath his hand like this forever.
“What do you think of me when you look back?”
4
Present Day
Five Hours Before
I sat in the booth feeling like a colorless butterfly pinned to a board.
“Aren’t you hungry, Sophia?”
I smiled at Alexander, a hurried and nervous movement of muscle, and took a sip of my tea. “Sure I am.”
Alexander took a fry off my plate and popped it into his mouth. He chewed thoughtfully and nodded. “Yes, it’s very good.” He reached for my burger and took a large bite. After swallowing, he declared, “This is good too. No complaints here.”
I stared at him and sputtered, “What are you doing? You have your own food!”
“True, but you weren’t eating. I had to see why.”
“I think it’s pretty obvious why.”
“Not to me. Tell me why you’re so quiet, Sophia.”
I looked away, lips pressed into a frown. Alexander sighed and got up.
“Scoot over.” He barely waited for me to comply before he bumped his hip against mine. Alexander pulled his plate and drink over and began eating.
Nostalgia tickled. I remembered how he often sat next to me even before we started dating in high school. At first I’d been so nervous I could barely eat. The present situation was much the same.
“Eat, Sophia. We’ll talk afterwards.”
“You’re still bossy, you know?” I muttered while picking up a fry. Alexander reached over me and plucked a bottle of ketchup. He opened it with a quick twist and poured a healthy dollop onto my plate.
“And you’re still cagey as ever.” He held up an onion ring, waving it back and forth beneath my nose. “Want one?”
I took it before I gave myself a chance to say no. “Thanks.” I then held up one of my fries which he accepted with a snap of his perfect white teeth. It was flirtatious and normal for us. Or the us we used to be.
I was instantly charmed. Happy even.
We spent the rest of the meal in companionable silence, speaking only to respond to requests of passing napkins or salt. I had always missed this side of us, but never was it more clear than just sitting next to him and sharing our food with unconscious ease.
Finally, after swallowing the last bite of burger, did I find my nervousness return full-force. Especially because Alexander watched me, cheek resting on his palm and small, secret grin firmly in place.
“I want some pie. You up for it?”
Although his words were innocent, I immediately put a lusty spin on them. I yanked a menu towards me and scanned the small print feverishly. “I’d like some chocolate cream pie.”
“Cream pie…mmm…that sounds good.”
My gaze darted over to him. His bland expression contrasted against the wicked gleam in his eye. I could feel pink color dusting all over my cheeks. I didn’t want to run the risk of reading too much into Alexander’s subtext but two innuendos in a row?
Best to pretend it didn’t happen. At least for now. Lord knew I was going to go over every moment a million times tonight.
I slid the menu over to him. “They serve apple.”
Alexander glanced down. “Sounds good.” He called the waitress over and gave our order. Alexander then resumed his previous position. “Now it’s time we talked.”
“Sure,” I answered with an easy, friendly, lying smile. “Do you want to talk about MLM?”
“Not in the least bit.”
“Oh. Well, what you would like to talk about?”
“How have you been, Sophia?”
Miserable, desperate, and lying to the world because I pretended very well that I’m not.
Could I have said those words to him? Never. It was bad enough that I thought them. I didn’t have to birth them to life.
I pasted my automatic grin that meant nothing but everything when perpetuation a lie. “Good. I’ve been good. And you?”
“Adequate.”
“More than adequate from what I’ve heard.” I neatly mirrored his position by propping my chin on my palm. “Mr. Bazillionaire and World Conqueror.”
“Mr. Bazillionaire?” Alexander raised his eyebrows comically. “That’s one I haven’t been called yet. Wunderkind, Tech Baron of the Valley, and Pompous Ass—sure. Mr. Bazillionaire—no. I should update my profile and put that one at the top.”
I laughed. Everything seemed so normal at the moment. It was like how it was the first time around for us. Smiles, teasing, and incredible sweetness.
He had been my favorite person in the whole world and I loved him so much. I really thought it would be forever. I could’ve no more dreamed of ever hurting or leaving this man than I could’ve stopped breathing.
Pain slithered about my chest, tenderizing my heart. I tried not to focus on it.
“Make sure you credit it to me and not to your slick PR machine.”
“Of course.” Alexander poked my arm. “Tell me more about what’s been going on with you.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Just working, building up my career.”
“That’s all?”
“That’s all.”
Alexander leaned closer and whispered, “Your ring finger’s bare. Any chance that’ll change anytime soon?”
“If that’s your clumsy way of asking me if I’m seeing someone then the answer is ‘No, I’m not.’”
“Glad to hear it.” Alexander’s gaze didn’t contain a hint of anything other than sincerity.
“You’re a mean man, Mr. Draven, to be glad over that.”
“Not mean enough to say I’m ecstatic over the news.”
I shook my head, heart pain dulled by a warm belly and body tingling from the excitement of hearing him say those words. “And what about you?”
“What about me?” he asked coyly.
“You’re going to make me say it?”
“Absolutely.”
“Fine. I won’t ask then.” I sat up and looked straight ahead.
Alexander bumped my shoulder with his. “C’mon…ask me…you know you want to.”
“Nope. Don’t even care.”
He placed one finger on my chin and nudged it until I looked back at him. “Your words still know exactly where to cut, little chick.”
I tumbled off the internal wall I’d erected. Alexander’s face, so familiar and beloved, was only inches away. I could end the distance between us by leaning forward. My body swayed closer. I ached to kiss him, to find out if his lips were just as sweet as I remembered.
“Here’s your dessert. An apple pie for the gent and chocolate cream pie for the lady. Do you folks need anything else?”
Alexander’s hand left my face. He looked away from me to smile and warmly thank the waitress. “No, we’re good. Thank you, ma’am.”
I reached for my spoon, desperately trying to calm my nerves and pretend the last thirty seconds hadn’t happened the way I remembered them. For if they had then it would mean Alexander wanted to be back in my life and maybe, just maybe, we could pick up where we left off.
No, that’s just wishful thinking on my part. We’ve been apart for almost a decade. If Alexander had been pining over me he wouldn’t have just waited until today to talk to me. He’s just being polite…nostalgic…who knows?
“Can I have a bite?”
“Sure.” I pushed the small plate towards him. He plucked the spoon out of my hand.
“Gonna make me get it myself, huh?” Alexander grumbled as he stabbed into the pudding.
It was too intimate, too familiar. Too painful. I grabbed his wrist before the spoon could enter his mouth. “What are you doing?”
“Eating.”
“No, what are you really doing here with me?”
“Eating,” he drawled with a lilt suggesting I
was asking the obvious.
“Why aren’t you using your spoon?”
“We shared utensils before. What difference does it make now? Unless you’ve become a germaphobe?”
I couldn’t believe he was being that dense. Not someone as sharp as him. “Alexander, I haven’t seen you in almost ten years and now you come riding in with your posse and save the day.”
“Most people would say ‘thank you’ and appreciate they didn’t have to pound the pavement looking for another job.”
I let go of his wrist, feeling unaccountably guilty for not giving one word of thanks, before brushing it off. After all, it wasn’t as if Alexander had done it specifically for me.
“Stop pretending you don’t know what I’m talking about!”
“Then why don’t you speak clearly and stop dancing around the subject?”
“Fine. Why single me out for lunch, Alexander?”
He sighed and set the spoon down, food uneaten. “Maybe because I’m happy to see you again, Sophia. It seems it was just me though, huh?”
I looked away from him and turned my distracted attention out the window. If I was smart, I’d get up and walk right out of the diner. “It wasn’t just you.”
“Then what’s the problem? Do you still hate me that much?”
My heart lurched in my chest. Bittersweet memories flooded my system. “No, Alexander. I don’t hate you at all. I never really did and that was the problem.”
“Look at me.”
I shook my head, irrationally afraid of what he would see in my face if I turned to look at him.
Alexander leaned close, overwhelming my small body with his much larger frame. “Look at me.”
Something about his low whisper reached in and forced my compliance. My body halfway turned before I could stop it.
Sadness glimmered in his gaze. He feathered his thumb along to the top of my cheekbone. “Little chick, how are we going to fix this?”
I indulged my weaker side. I leaned into his caress, remembering it as one of his favorites. “You don’t have to fix me, Alexander. I’m not your burden or responsibility. Everything that happened between us was a long time ago, right? We were both so young and...”
Mad for the Billionaire Page 4
