If I really loved Alexander more than me I would lie. I’d say, “No, I don’t. I don’t love you and I don’t want to see you again.”
Instead, I took the damned, selfish way out. I looked the love of my life in the eyes and whispered, “Yes, I want to be with you.”
“Good girl.”
6
Present Day
One Hour Before
The cubicles were empty. So were the offices. I shut my computer off and tidied up my desk. The clock above the door ticked along, cheerfully reminding me that it was time to take the elevator up three floors and see Alexander.
This is really happening. We’re talking again and everything is fine. Better than fine.
I had come to work this morning terrified and expecting Alexander to look right through me. Although I’d been resigned to seeing the emptiness in his eyes, I knew it would be the moment that executed any lingering hope of ever finding a happily-ever-after with Alexander.
Silly girl. What makes you think that it still exists?
My thoughts jeered at me exactly because it exposed the hope that had never, truly left. Some part of me always hoped that one day, even if it wasn’t until we were wrinkled up and moved with external aid, we would be able to sit together and shine.
Sad, wasn’t it?
I gathered my things and locked my door behind me. I made it to the elevator when I heard my name.
“Sophia!”
Startled, I looked over my shoulder. “Mark, what are you still doing here?”
He strode down the beige hallway at a fast clip, jacket on but left unbuttoned. Mark didn’t know how to stroll anywhere. His speed was fast or faster. I dispassionately acknowledged he was a handsome beast, all masculine lines and aggressive, bulging muscles—especially when he barreled down the halls.
If we didn’t work together, and I met him somewhere on the outside, I could see going on a few dates with Mark.
“I didn’t see you after lunch.”
“You weren’t in your office.”
“I was down in IT, going over prelims for the upcoming system upgrades. You could’ve found me if you looked or asked.” Mark didn’t bother to hide his annoyance that I had done neither.
Irritation scratched. Did Mark seriously think I was going to scour the building just so I could talk about my lunch with Alexander? Besides, it was personal and had nothing to do with MLM.
“I’ve been in my office all afternoon,” I pointed out lightly. His personality always managed to rub me the wrong way at least once a day. That’s why I’m convinced that even if we had met on the outside, we wouldn’t have lasted more than a couple of dates. He wanted too much of me and I wasn’t willing to give it to him.
“Be that as it may, how did it go with Draven?”
“Fine. Just two friends catching up.”
“Friends, huh? Anything else?”
Although this was par for the course with Mark, his interrogation aggravated more than it usually did. “Nope.”
Mark eyed me, eventually shrugging when I didn’t lower my gaze or mumble anything else to appease his probing stare.
“Where are you off to? Any special plans?”
I really regretted not leaving a minute earlier. I wasn’t in the mood for Mark’s prying. “Not in particular. Just planning on taking it easy this weekend. You?”
“Same. I’ll go down with you.” Mark reached around me and hit the elevator button.
Shit! He’s going to make this hard. Of course he is—it’s Mark and that’s what he does.
I pushed the button going up, knowing what was coming and all the more annoyed because of it. Mark immediately asked, “What are you doing?”
“I’m not leaving just yet.”
The doors opened. Mark scowled. “Why?”
My CFO’s nosiness into my personal affairs had definitely escalated past aggravation. I kept my voice nonchalant as I walked into the empty elevator. “Upstairs.” A large part of me hoped he would stay on our floor and wait to make the trip down.
He followed behind me. “What for?” he demanded, gold brows snapping together in curiosity.
There was nothing else but to answer him truthfully. If I evaded answering him, Mark’s paranoia would lead him down paths of his own making. Being he had very little tact, Mark would grill me until I was on the verge of screaming. He was damned persistent that way.
“I’m going to see the new boss.”
“Draven? Again?” He punched the 10th floor button before I could. The doors closed, keeping us locked in the box together. “Didn’t you see enough of each other at lunch?”
Calm thoughts, Sophia. This is your boss you’re talking to.
I kept silent, unable to think of anything that wouldn’t betray my exasperation.
“I’ll go with you.”
I looked up at him, knotted brows giving away my irritation. “I don’t need an escort.”
Mark shrugged. “If you’re having a meeting then there’s no harm in me sitting in on it.”
“We’re not having a meeting, Mark. It has nothing to do with work.”
The elevator stopped and the doors opened. “Then maybe you should’ve said that from the beginning.” He walked out, leaving me to follow. I didn’t scurry behind him as I was sure he expected. My gait remained relaxed, even when Mark arrived at Alexander’s office first and knocked on the door.
His hearty “Mr. Draven! I saw Sophia on her way here and decided to tag along. I hope you don’t mind!” was a clever move. Argue against it and you looked guilty and/or rude, which Mark was shameless enough exploit. Agree and he got his way without lifting a finger.
Either way he won.
Mark was seated by the time I entered. Alexander stood up and extended a hand to the other chair in front of his desk. “Please have a seat here, Sophia.”
He noted Mark hadn’t risen. Alexander sat back down only after I did. “Where are you from, Mark?”
“Pennsylvania.”
“Born and raised?”
“Yes, Sir. What about you?”
“South Carolina.”
“A true Southerner then.”
“Yes. Where I’m from—where Sophia and I are from—a gentleman always rises when a lady joins us. Please remember that when you’re in my presence, Mark.”
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from smirking. Mark easily hid any sign of discomfort at having his lack of manners pointed out to him. Instead, he chuckled and said, “Sure thing, boss.”
Alexander nodded. “So what can I do for you, Mark?”
“Oh, like I said—I’m just tagging along with Sophia.”
“Really? And nothing else?”
“Well, I’m here ready and able to add my opinion or provide any bit of knowledge you might need.” Mark shifted his seat, apparently settling in for a lengthy conversation.
Alexander smiled. “In that case, you can leave.”
Mark’s grin disappeared. He definitely wasn’t used to being shown the door. “Excuse me?”
“I didn’t invite Sophia here to talk about anything more pressing than her grandmother’s health and the expansion of our old high school. Unless you’re familiar with either?”
This time Mark’s agitation came out in a quick foot jiggle. “Can’t say I can help with that.” He lurched up and looked over at me. “I’ll give you a call later on. Maybe we’ll meet up for drinks. How’s that sound?”
Tricky move, you clever jerk.
He refused to concede control even when being tossed out. “I’ll have my cell on.”
Mark gave me a short nod and then addressed Alexander. “See you on Tuesday.”
“Have a good weekend, Mark.”
“You too.” He walked to the door and asked, “Open or closed?”
“Closed. Thank you.”
Mark’s storm-blue gaze met mine. His promised an accounting. I promised nothing.
The door closed, leaving me alone with Alexander. He pressed hi
s finger to his lips and mouthed “Wait.” Getting up, he strode over to the door and locked it for good measure. “Just in case he conveniently remembers something else he had to say.”
“Good move then.”
“At first I thought you brought him with you on purpose.” Alexander strolled back to his desk and sat on the corner. “I was this close to taking you over my knee.”
“You’re joking!”
Alexander smirked. “Is he always that nosy?”
“Worse.”
“Just with you? Or everyone?”
I crossed my legs, feeling a bit uncomfortable with having to admit “Mostly me.”
“Ah, I see.” He moved from his spot and took the empty seat to the right of me. “You’re going to cause me to alienate my CFO, Sophia. That’s not a good thing.”
“Alienate? How’s that?”
“Don’t be a flirt, little chick,” Alexander admonished in a soft drawl. “It’s obvious he’s staking his claim on you and I’m going to have to pull up all his markers. You always were trouble, girl, and I shouldn’t be surprised that hasn’t changed.”
“Since when have I been trouble? I’m as good as good can be!”
“Sure. And that’s why I’m always having to fight someone whenever you’re around.”
“Oh.” I bit my lip and peeked up at him from under my lowered lashes. “I see what you mean now. I can’t deny that.”
“Oh,” he mimicked. His gentle smile took away any sting that might’ve been inflicted. “You know I got into my first fight because of you.”
“Jaime was really sorry afterwards.”
“Of course, he was. He didn’t expect me to know how to fight and thought beating me into the ground would sway you back to his side.”
“I never was on his side and that’s why I think he was sorry.”
“Hmm, if you say so.”
I reached out and tapped his arm. “Now you’re just being ornery.”
He laughed and agreed. “You’re right. It was the déjà vu of the situation that got me riled. That and Mark’s rudeness—a terrible combination that does little to make me sweet.”
“He doesn’t mean to be rude. Politeness and good manners are almost out of fashion. It’s a sign of weakness in business.”
“Don’t defend him. There’s rarely an excuse for a lack of good manners.”
“Not everyone was raised like you, Alexander,” I teased. “The rest of us are peasants in comparison who still don’t know the difference between the salad fork and the dinner one.”
“Hardly,” he scoffed with a raised eyebrow. “I was living in what is commonly referred to as genteel poverty. Not that much money to be had.”
“Maybe compared to your ancestors. Still, most of us aren’t living on the same land and plantation since the 17th century, you know. We also didn’t have all the nice stuff you had growing up.”
“So you’re saying I’m still a stuck-up little brat, huh?”
I shook my head, gaze soft with memory. “No, you were never stuck-up, Alexander. Not that—just blessed.”
“Not as blessed as you think.” His mouth tightened and sadness swept across his handsome face.
“I know.” I wanted to reach out and hold his hand, much as I used to do when memories about his family darkened his mood. Instead, I patted him on the knee.
Alexander’s hand immediately engulfed mine, tightening when I tried to draw it back. “No need for pity, Sophia. We all have crazy families.”
“Ours might be a little bit crazier than most.”
“Just a bit.”
I couldn’t hide my concern for him, knowing what I knew about his parents and my mother’s specific involvement in ending their marriage. Guilt settled onto its familiar perch. “I’m sorry.”
“There’s not one thing for you to be sorry about. I mean that.”
“Still—”
Alexander cut in softly, “I’m fine, little chick. Honestly, I am.”
“Okay.” I wondered if he had developed a habit of denying and lying his weaknesses away too. I knew how much it tore him apart to witness his mother’s pain at having her husband walk out on her, especially with a woman like Belinda Carter. My mother.
The years had done little to soothe the humiliation. I still couldn’t visit Oak Grove without suffering the measuring stares of those sympathetic to Augusta Russell Draven.
Apparently it was bad enough my mother stole Miss Augusta’s husband, but what made it worse is that I drove a wedge between her and her only child.
“So where’s your retinue?”
“Gone for the weekend. They more than earned leaving early today.”
“You’ve been working him that hard, huh?”
Alexander shrugged. He cleared his throat and then turned the full force of his magnetic gaze on me. “Do you know why I asked you here today?”
“I guess you still want us to reacquaint ourselves?”
He smiled, single dimple showing in his cheek from the deepness of his grin. “That as well.”
“More?” My belly fluttered. “What else?”
“I’ve missed you all these years, little chick.” Alexander’s thumb rubbed against my wrist. The caress sent pulses scattering all across my body. “I mean it.”
I wanted to slide off the chair and climb onto his lap. I wanted to kiss him, to confess all my sins of not being able to let go of him, of hoarding any and every bit of information I could find on him. I’d pay penance by using my body however he wanted.
However, missing me wasn’t the same as wanting to make love to me or even wanting to begin anew.
We weren’t the same people we once were. We had each lived more than a third of our lives away from the other. I couldn’t make the mistake of reading something that wasn’t ready to be there.
Not and keep what we seemed to be developing.
I held back the burgeoning feelings rushing forward to overwhelm me. I masked my thoughts and kept my hand passive in his.
“I’m glad that you think fondly of me and those times.”
Alexander exhaled loudly. The air around us vibrated with his disappointment. “That’s not exactly the reaction I was expecting, Sophia.”
“I’m sorry.” Guilt nettled and dug deep. I lied by silence because I was so damned afraid of being wrong. Of getting hurt. Of hurting him.
“Don’t apologize.” Alexander let go of me. The sudden absence was raw. He turned away and sat with his hands linked across his taut stomach. “I’m happy we were able to spend time together today, Sophia. I mean it.”
Panic fired off warning signals. He was saying goodbye. I didn’t know exactly what I wanted, or more truthfully I didn’t know what I could allow myself to want, but I knew I didn’t want this.
“Alexander—”
“Hush now. It’s okay.” He stood up and ran a hand through this hair. “It’s been a long day for us both. I’ll walk you down.”
I surged to my feet. “Wait…please!”
He tilted his head, face inscrutable beyond the polite and friendly smile he wore. “Yes? What is it?”
My blood pulsed heavy and thick. My heartbeat competed for volume over my voice. “No.”
“No? You don’t want me to walk you down?” His voice remained soft, reminding me of all the times he adopted the same tone when he wanted to mask his emotions.
Always the gentleman, no matter the cost.
“If not me, then I’ll call for security. It’s dark now and I’m not letting you walk down into the garage by yourself.”
“That’s not…Alexander…”
“Stop mumbling, Sophia!” he snapped suddenly. “What do you have to say?”
His anger pulled me closer. I erased the space between us. “I don’t want to end things like this.”
“You don’t.” The planes of his face sharpened, making him look like a beautiful predator. “Then how would it please you this time?”
“I don’t want it to end.
I mean, I don’t want…” I peered into his gaze, begging without words for him to understand what I wasn’t brave enough to say out loud.
If he saw my message, he gave no acknowledgment to its existence. Ruthless, he pushed me harder. Alexander’s words shot out rapidly. “Then what do you want, Sophia?”
You! I want you!
“I want…I want…” I whispered, terrified to say it out loud.
Alexander stalked forward. Each step drove me back. “What do you want, Sophia? Do you want to walk out of here and pretend that what we had never meant anything? Do you want me to pretend along with you?”
I knocked into a chair. He didn’t pause in his methodical pursuit. He tumbled it over on its side.
“I’m not going to do that, Sophia. I’m not going to pretend but I will offer this—one minute.”
“One minute for what?” My voice trembled, a pitiful soft excuse of sound for a grown woman. Alexander’s leashed aggression aroused more of the same. I had the insane urge to drop to my knees and kiss his feet.
I should’ve been scared of him, but I wasn’t. I didn’t know exactly what I was feeling but I knew I’d felt this way before when our fights went too far and his cultured manners disappeared in a wash of rage.
I’d always been remorseful and ashamed of those times, thinking something was very wrong with me to be so excited.
Once he backed me halfway between the desk and the door, Alexander stopped. “One minute to decide.”
A heartbeat passed. Then another. “I’m listening.”
“If you stay, you’re agreeing to open the door to whatever may happen between us. If you leave, you’re closing the door. That’s it.”
I swallowed hard. My palms dampened. Nervous, excited, and afraid, I still didn’t know whether to run towards or away from Alexander. I opened my mouth but no words came out. I was mute with longing and frustrated desire. I didn’t want a minute. I wanted a lifetime.
Alexander then stated with terrible finality, “Just so we’re clear, you can walk out that door and we’ll never speak of this again. The past will stay in the past and I’ll be out of your life, permanently, in three months.”
No!
“Alexander, I…I…” Curses fell from my lips in frustration. Why couldn’t I get the words out?
Mad for the Billionaire Page 6
